I don't want to be jaded

[WinnipegFan]

I am floored by that last thread and that all of this came out. I donated to him and I can live with that. However, I took it further and he went along with it and now I am absolutely stunned someone would do this.

I reached out to him and mentioned our school is doing fundraising and awareness regarding homelessness and how it can happen to anyone. The kids wanted to fundraise for someone and they read his story and were on board. He was fully on board as well, we had talked about having him Skype a discussion with the kids. He was on board. In the end when the go fund me closed and we were unable to get the talk setup it lost steam and he seemed to recover so I didn't pursue him. Now to see that he was scamming the site pisses me off, but his willingness to talk to students and scam them, that is pure dirtbag and I cannot believe he was willing to do this. I am speechless, I hope we don't see him around here anymore.

[VladtheImpaler]

I just automatically assume that anyone who asks for/accepts money (for himself that is) is at best very slippery.

[Kavvy]

It's extremely heart warming to see so many people in this community donate to a cause, even if they got scammed.

Personally, I donate to charities I identify each year in December as a % of that years income, not online people I don't know. I hope these charities around the world help these people that need help.

However, that doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing for people on CP to take a leap of faith. I do find it heart warming that so many people were willing to help. I have had a very lucky life, so maybe I just struggle to relate to a individual online going through a tough time pleading for help.

I picked the food-bank this year as I read a article about a man who said he never had been to the food-bank, and was too proud to go before, but pride won't feed his family now. I couldn't imagine being that person and it touched me. I think it was from a different city's foodbank, but it still applied to Calgary I figured.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Kavvy

It's extremely heart warming to see so many people in this community donate to a cause, even if they got scammed.

Personally, I donate to charities I identify each year in December as a % of that years income, not online people I don't know. I hope these charities around the world help these people that need help.

However, that doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing for people on CP to take a leap of faith. I do find it heart warming that so many people were willing to help. I have had a very lucky life, so maybe I just struggle to relate to a individual online going through a tough time pleading for help.

I picked the food-bank this year as I read a article about a man who said he never had been to the food-bank, and was too proud to go before, but pride won't feed his family now. I couldn't imagine being that person and it touched me. I think it was from a different city's foodbank, but it still applied to Calgary I figured.

I convinced the company I worked for to make a donation to the food bank, talking to them they were overwhelmed. Also the lady there told me that for every dollar they received they can get $5.00 worth of food.

I convinced my bosses that our clients could live without Christmas Cards and chocolates and other stuff this year and we donated $1250. I felt pretty good about that and did a personal donation.

At least in this case I know I'm helping people in need, and not a dirtbag taking advantage of a sob story.

[JohnnyB]

I have just seen far too many scams and cons to not be jaded about these things. As a policy, I don't give money to individuals at all anymore. My wife and I put a fair bit of money and time into helping stray animals every month and I am happy to give my time to help people in need, but not money. Donations of money are too easily abused and too easily bring out the worst in people. It is more demanding to give time to help someone, but if they accept it you can also be more confident that they really need and value the help. Also, I focus on giving help to animals and to children, because I know that they are innocent in their situations.

[bigtmac19]

I wish our company would gas the ridiculously over the top Christmas party and adopt a family at Christmas, or something else equally worthy. To spend $1500 on a decorator, let alone what the rest of it costs, I find kind of disgusting.

[Minnie]

Huh. Apparently I have some reading to do.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

I just automatically assume that anyone who asks for/accepts money (for himself that is) is at best very slippery.

I don't know. I helped collect some money for a guy this Christmas because he was laid off literally a year ago and things are obviously a little desperate at this point. It wasn't just me, but a group of friends, and while he didn't ask for the money it was gratefully accepted.

I didn't donate to PIMKing here, basically because he just rubbed me the wrong way. Otherwise I probably would've. I'm probably an easy mark that way, and maybe that's to my detriment sometimes, but I'm comfortable knowing that I try to help people when I can.

Anyway, I understand your sentiment. I just think that there are times people need help genuinely and asking for help is a good thing. It is probably very difficult for people to come around to doing that, and I hope that they find some help when they do.

[squiggs96]

Originally Posted by dobbles

since several posts have mentioned pimking in an unflattering light, i did want to post and say that he emailed me a response that i have forwarded to the mods to do with as they please.

If you think that's unflattering, you should see the video of PIMking where all he's wearing is a ball hat and his ankle tattoos. It's NSFW if you search for it.

[2Stonedbirds]

I felt bad for the guy, but after the initial sob story turned into a severe beating around the bush event over money... sorry, couldn't do it.

To the people who did donate and feel jaded, don't. The kind of person willing to lend a helping hand to those in need is a rare thing these days indeed; do not feel shame, feel pride for the fact that you are a much better person than the vast majority of the population.

Be wary in the future? Sure. But don't let it take away from the fact that you are good people and care about your fellow man.

[HockeyIlliterate]

Originally Posted by Kavvy

It's extremely heart warming to see so many people in this community donate to a cause, even if they got scammed.

Here's what I find interesting, as an American who was lucky enough to live in Canada for several years and who now lives back in the US:

In my experience, Canadians, as a whole, are very generous people. Whether in regards to money, second chances, whatever. You all seem to have a "help someone out" and "we are all in this together" mentality and an astounding amount of compassion and empathy for others.

Americans, however, tend to be more of a "do it yourself" kind of society, where it is expected that you fix your own problems and help (other than what the government provides) is only given to direct friends or through church groups (that either essentially help their own or work with "approved" charities that have already weeded out the "not-really-needed." Compassion and empathy is largely limited to only those that you know or who are going through situations or circumstances similar to yours or ones you'd experienced.

Gross generalizations, I know, but culturally there is just a fundamentally different viewpoint when it comes to helping others. And I think it was illustrated, in part, by how the fraudster was treated here compared to the reception he received on the gator forum. There, he was met with (what appeared to me to be) great skepticism and advice to, essentially, buck up and figure it out on your own. Here, not so much--at least initially.

All of which I write to say this: Please don't lose your Canadian-ness. Otherwise, you all just become one step closer to being like us Americans, but with national health care and fewer guns.

[Minnie]

Well. That was an interesting read. Sucks it's happened.

Spearheaded a fundraiser last year, for someone. It ended up making the news and we got harassed by the media, but we refused to be interviewed - wasn't our story, we were just trying to help make the ending of it a bit different than it might have been, and had zero interest in the media noise - just wanted to get them helped and sorted. Some stuff came out later that we hadn't been privy to, but in the end, while their story was 99.99% true, that other info took a bit of doing to swallow. I finally decided to look at it this way - we had control of the funds, they didn't, and the bottom line was that we didn't just help them, we helped another party that was involved, who deserved the help just as much. Will I help another person? Most likely. I'll probably be a bit more likely to give it even more of a thorough side-eye though.

PIM's the one who has to live with this. I did the best I could with the info we had regarding PIM - I'll be able to sleep at night. I'll still help when I can. CP is a stellar place. I've met a few people from here and they've all been great. Even MMF.

[GP_Matt]

I decided to go the food bank route. I donated four times as much to the food bank as I have to PIM. If the five times multiplier mentioned above is correct then I have helped 20 people the same amount that I helped PIM so some good will come from this experience.

[Wormius]

I guess the trusting part of us doesn't want to believe that somebody would stoop to such a level for some money. Is the amount worth ruining your name and reputation as a person over? I just always have a hard time believing somebody would go to those lengths for, while not a paltry sum, not exactly a mega lotto jackpot either. I guess the mind goes there, but at the same time you rationalize that somebody wouldn't do that for various reasons.

[Dion]

Looking back on the Ian gofundme scam i've decided to file this as a learning experience for me and to be much more cautious going forward when it comes to helping people I don't know. We can't change the past and we can't let what has happened deter us from helping those in need.

It makes me happy going forward to know that we have a coummity of caring generous members who are willing to help others when help is needed. We should all raise a glass and toast each other for making this the best online community on the net.

[Ducay]

Originally Posted by squiggs96

If you don't see it, then you stopped reading after the 3rd post. I could link to multiple posts in the thread, including posts where other people on other forums call him out, but they are all there for you to read. The biggest one is that he set up 3 different go fund me pages, under separate versions of his name, and then claimed he had no idea how to set one up. These are only the three I can find. There may be more. He even has multiple accounts on another forum where he asks for money. His response was to flee and delete evidence. That's not something an innocent person would do. If that doesn't show you something was odd, then you're fooling yourself or being ignorant to the facts. I don't get how you can defend him here, especially when he won't defend himself.

Fair enough - I wasn't trying to defend him, really just wanted to understand why everyone was going so nutso over it, since what I had seen wasn't all that damning, but clearly I missed a few pages of it.

No bueno

[Scornfire]

On the topic of a CP sponsored charity initiative. What would people think of buying/maintaining an outdoor rink with borrowable equiptment (this might be a bit much to handle tbh) specifically for kids (perhaps reaching out and pairing with the jumpstart program?). I'm pretty sure the boards that were used for the beddington rink that got torn down last year (because some church bought the community centre and wanted it gone) are just sitting in city storage. There's a large park up for adoption in my neighborhood that's pretty much begging to get some ice!

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

I just automatically assume that anyone who asks for/accepts money (for himself that is) is at best very slippery.

I assume that anyone who asks for/accepts money on the internet is at best very slippery. I'm a very trusting guy in the real world, and give people the benefit of the doubt. I frequently put myself in a position where I could be taken advantage of, because I think it's better to live that way than to regard everyone with suspicion. But I never do that online. I regard everything I see and read on the internet as fundamentally different from the real world, and likely masked in layers of artifice and deception.

[WhiteTiger]

I donated a small sum of money. This 'cause' was the first time I have ever donated anything to anything online...and it turns out like this. I admit that I feel a bit snookered, but the sentiment behind what I was doing was still there. I've come to like and respect, in some ways, most of the people on this forum. I felt (and still do) that the people on this forum would be here for me, would have my back if I needed it, and I saw this as my chance to start helping keeping an eye on someone else's back.

Then I get burned, so to speak.

But I won't let that change how I feel about CP and the people who frequent this forum. It may mean that I'm more leery of donating money and may look to (further) ways to donate time or material goods instead of cash.

However, I won't let this...incident, despite the disgusting taste it's left in my mouth in regards to PIMking in particular, color my perception or feelings towards CP as a whole. While I would now/still be a bit more leery of 'asks' even here on CP...I feel that the majority of the population here still warrant the benefit of the doubt.

[DoubleF]

Similar to Dion, I'm taking this as a lesson learned. I won't stop donating and helping, but I may have second thoughts/consider donating less next time I see a go fund me or similar.

Man, do I feel silly.