CMA calling for a ban on spanking

[Dorkmaster]

Originally Posted by AC

I know on Loveline, Dr. Drew has always maintained that the key difference between discipline and abuse is whether the adult uses an object to strike the child, as opposed to a standard spanking.

Me and my siblings used to get spanked with a bamboo stick when we were kids. We all have a great relationship with our family.

I wouldn't necessarily correlate the two together.

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by Iginla

Beating your kids should be mandatory. Toughens them up as well.

I can't tell if you're being serious, but if so, you're an idiot, and if not, I am.

We will see.

[Northendzone]

Originally Posted by Rathji

If you want to play with your penis, you need to go to your room.

The man cave is my space as well.......

[#22]

Originally Posted by AC

I know on Loveline, Dr. Drew has always maintained that the key difference between discipline and abuse is whether the adult uses an object to strike the child, as opposed to a standard spanking.

I disagree with this. Using an object or not does not differentiate the two. I think the difference is whether there is anger and/or malicious intent behind the physical contact, or if it is done calmly to correct unwanted behaviour.

Personally, I don't believe spanking is necessary and have raised 3 kids without it, but I don't have a problem with it either.

[Scorponok]

I'll stop spanking when they pry the paddle from my cold, dead hands.

[puckluck2]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

I can't tell if you're being serious, but if so, you're an idiot, and if not, I am.

We will see.

100% serious. You should probably call the authorities.

[Mr.Coffee]

Already did, I'd get out of town and lay low for awhile.

[Dion]

[The Coppernian One]

I don't have kids or a spouse yet, so have not had to seriously get into this debate, but I was spanked as a kid and it didn't affect my relationship with my parents or cause any mental trauma. It did teach me that there were unpleasant consequences when I was bad.

At my grandparents' farm when you misbehaved you got spanked with a paddle - picture a crib board with a handle and that was basically it - you got it once and right after you got it you had to put your name on it. The farm was the most well-behaved place that I can recall and we all loved my grandpa. You never received it without deserving it and you knew it.

It doesn't mean that I will or won't spank my future kids, but I think most people who were spanked did not develop issues because of it. I know of people who were never really disciplined (or disciplined only with time outs, etc.) and were some of the most screwed up people you've met.

[T@T]

Man society is changing, As a kid I got the strap from teachers,they made spankings laughable. Then again when I did laugh I got a real good beating

[Traditional_Ale]

We can debate the moralities/sociological/psychological implications of spanking a child until we're blue in the face. I think it depends on the kid.

[polak]

Originally Posted by Red-Mile-DJ

To clear things up, I don't like the "time out" method. I don't think it teaches the child any consequences of their actions. But...that's just me.

My dad had a variation of the time out that I will definitely employ if I have kids.

He made go put my hands up on the wall and kneel on my knees. This was extremely effective as a) it gets extremely uncomfortable really fast and b) it was humiliating when it was done infront of friends.

However, even though that was pretty effective, I still think spanking was the most effective method used on me. Although my dad did take it too far at times, it sure as hell instilled the fear of God into me when I knew I screwed up.

I'll probably use spanking in extreme situations.

[STeeLy]

I was hit with a bamboo stick by my dad when I was a kid. I don't have a very good relationship with my dad, but I don't think that being wacked by a bamboo stick had any affect on my relationship with my dad.

I think spanking can be effective if you don't overdo it. Just like any method of "punishment", overdoing and overusing pretty much desensitizes the child to the point where they either become tolerant to it, or just don't care.

[looooob]

Originally Posted by Dion

haha, I like the toy factory owner. land of misfit toys I'm guessing

[Boshi]

Spanking basically taught me how to act around my parents: Parent A / B (or both) don't like (insert whatever) .. don't do it around them.

It never stopped me from still being a young kid who from time to time would get into trouble. Not once did I say to myself "Oh yeah.. damn.. better not do that.. I'll get a whoopin'!"

I'm with the crowd that sides with the notion that if you're not doing it out of anger, rage, frustration.. etc.. (and it isn't your -only- tactic) then it should be up to the parents to decide.

[handgroen]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

Thanks for your concern. I was not abused.

This tells the whole story, it's not abuse.

[undercoverbrother]

Interesting split of responses, those that have kids (of an older age) appears not to support spanking.

Those that do don't have kids old enough, or haven't commented on their kids age, seem to support spanking.

[polak]

Originally Posted by STeeLy

I think spanking can be effective if you don't overdo it. Just like any method of "punishment", overdoing and overusing pretty much desensitizes the child to the point where they either become tolerant to it, or just don't care.

You weren't hit hard enough?

I was definitely not desensitized to spanking. I'm pretty sure if my dad came at me with a belt today I'd still crap my pants

Some of the punishments on here seem a little light. Timeouts that are one minute long for every year of age? So 10 minutes for a 10 year old? If you had me as a child I would have ruined you and I wasn't even that bad.

I think society as a whole has pussified punishments and it's making the kids worse. Even my parents who were hard as hell on me are a lot lighter on my little sister and she's 13 years younger so you really see the difference. It's probably cause she's a girl but I think my dad spanked her once? Her punishments are usually "no playing with friends" or "no tv", (never both, which I got for 3 weeks during summer once, that was probably the worst punishment I ever recieved) and she has a huge attitude problem now. I was never allowed to tell me parents "no" or yell at them but some days thats all my 10 year old sister does.

I blame stuff like this. Studies on parenting should really be taken with a grain of salt as every kid is different and every situation is different.

[Russic]

I've always likened spanking to some of the more intense dog training tools (such as a shock collar). They are inherently different in how the lesson is intended to be delivered, but I feel they are similar in that they are powerful tools that needs to be used properly. I've used a shock collar on my dog, and in my opinion it made the behaviour we were attempting to correct far worse mainly due to my improper usage.

Personally it's not a discipline method I plan on using, but I also believe many parents are capable of practicing without damaging the child.

[STeeLy]

Originally Posted by polak

You weren't hit hard enough?

I was definitely not desensitized to spanking. I'm pretty sure if my dad came at me with a belt today I'd still crap my pants

Some of the punishments on here seem a little light. Timeouts that are one minute long for every year of age? So 10 minutes for a 10 year old? If you had me as a child I would have ruined you and I wasn't even that bad.

I think society as a whole has pussified punishments and it's making the kids worse. Even my parents who were hard as hell on me are a lot lighter on my little sister and she's 13 years younger so you really see the difference. It's probably cause she's a girl but I think my dad spanked her once? Her punishments are usually "no playing with friends" or "no tv", (never both, which I got for 3 weeks during summer once, that was probably the worst punishment I ever recieved) and she has a huge attitude problem now. I was never allowed to tell me parents "no" or yell at them but some days thats all my 10 year old sister does.

I blame stuff like this. Studies on parenting should really be taken with a grain of salt as every kid is different and every situation is different.

Nah, even if I wasn't hit hard enough, those frigging bamboo sticks still hurt like hell! My dad hasn't wacked me with one of those since we immigrated to Canada.

The thing that I got wacked for as a kid the most, was actually talking back to my parents. My dad would get me pretty good for that. It was ok telling them no, but it certainly wasn't ok to give them attitude about it. It was one of the major culture shock to me to hear kids my age (back then) talk back to their parents and get away with it. To me, it's like the kids have no respect for their parents who work so hard raising them.