The Ongoing "Am I the %^&hole?" Thread

[btimbit]

Cecil's 'what if' is pretty easy to me, even split in each scenario. No need to overthink this kind of thing, especially with friends.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

I just thought it was an interesting discussion. I did not expect people would get this angry and defensive about it. I love discussing Seinfeld/Larry David type scenarios.

So yes, I’m always like this in the sense I am not afraid to have pointless life etiquette discussions.

If you guys knew what really happened, you’d flip ####. It’s way worse than the scenarios I presented, which I already tried to tone down to create a more balanced scenario.

Dude, it's the 28th of December, cold as ####, stuck isolated, and nothing to do. The least you could do is share the really interesting part. ####ing vaugebookers!

[Wormius]

We don’t need a balanced scenario. The goal is AITA confirmation with the actual facts.

[Strange Brew]

Originally Posted by Wormius

We don’t need a balanced scenario. The goal is AITA confirmation with the actual facts.

That has certainly been confirmed to my satisfaction.

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by Strange Brew

Wow Cecil that’s a little heavy on the insults and name calling. You’re better than that.

lol no he isn’t. He spends most of his time on here putting down others for mystifying benefit. He’s like Pepsifree in this regard.

[Pizza]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

Dude, it's the 28th of December, cold as ####, stuck isolated, and nothing to do. The least you could do is share the really interesting part. ####ing vaugebookers!

Originally Posted by Wormius

We don’t need a balanced scenario. The goal is AITA confirmation with the actual facts.

There likely isnt a undeclared truth that would've tipped the scales and made us "flip our ####", otherwise Cecil wouldve already shared it instead of alluding to it.

Cecil, realising that most of us were overwhelmingly in favor of the married couple and piecing together that he was probably the sofa guy in the scenario, is just trying to save face from our judgement of him

He went from explaining he was taught to be fair with pay his share to defending a stance where friends were abusing equal split payments by ordering expensive items to now alluding there's something we all dont know that he wouldnt reveal to us, but would change our minds and flip ####.

The story and his stance is ever changing based on everyone else's assessments here

[Wormius]

I think some of the weirdest stuff is dealing with friends from university who grew up lower class and are doing pretty well now that they shouldn’t care about these minor details but still do. Like one I will go play pool with but after I pay they’ll send me a e-transfer later; conversely they’ll also bring beer or something to a party and then take home with them any unopened ones.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by Pizza

There likely isnt a undeclared truth that would've tipped the scales and made us "flip our ####", otherwise Cecil wouldve already shared it instead of alluding to it.

Cecil, realising that most of us were overwhelmingly in favor of the married couple and piecing together that he was probably the sofa guy in the scenario, is just trying to save face from our judgement of him

He went from explaining he was taught to be fair with pay his share to defending a stance where friends were abusing equal split payments by ordering expensive items to now alluding there's something we all dont know that he wouldnt reveal to us, but would change our minds and flip ####.

The story and his stance is ever changing based on everyone else's assessments here

You’re so right! I lied from the beginning. I’m butthurt that the vacation I’m not going on with the married couple I don’t know is ruined by my cheapness!

I’m not gonna lie, at first I thought maybe it’d be an interesting what if based on a discussion we had at dinner about some in laws who had a big fight over a trip but then I realized how much more fun it is to stir #### up and get you angry.

[Pizza]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

You’re so right! I lied from the beginning. I’m butthurt that the vacation I’m not going on with the married couple I don’t know is ruined by my cheapness!

I’m not gonna lie, at first I thought maybe it’d be an interesting what if based on a discussion we had at dinner about some in laws who had a big fight over a trip but then I realized how much more fun it is to stir #### up and get you angry.

Lol, I aint angry. Seriously, the way you've lashed out has all the makings of someone who was in that scenario and enraged with being judged poorly. You just keep adding to that original story

but keep insisting that you're just stirring the pot and I'm the one who's triggered here, everybody else reading this thread knows who truly looking like the idiot

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by Wormius

I think some of the weirdest stuff is dealing with friends from university who grew up lower class and are doing pretty well now that they shouldn’t care about these minor details but still do. Like one I will go play pool with but after I pay they’ll send me a e-transfer later; conversely they’ll also bring beer or something to a party and then take home with them any unopened ones.

Ah yes the beer question. I do think this one gets a little murkier than Cecil’s example.

So you invite people over and say “BYOB” and they only drink half and then take their half home. Is it that you expect people to bring you extra booze rather than they are petty and cheap and take their own stuff home, after you told them to bring it because despite your hosting you wouldn’t supply any drinks?

To be perfectly honest, especially considering cost of alcohol, I can see both sides of the leave your beer there or take it home scenarios. Personally I have done both many times, probably leaning towards leaving beer most times but I certainly don’t judge or get upset at my friends if they take theirs with them when they leave my place.

It also isn’t an issue ever with our friends but I’ve seen other friend groups argue over it and I think that’s a dicey one haha

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Pizza

Lol, I aint angry. Seriously, the way you've lashed out has all the makings of someone who was in that scenario and enraged with being judged poorly. You just keep adding to that original story

but keep insisting that you're just stirring the pot and I'm the one who's triggered here, everybody else reading this thread knows who truly looking like the idiot

The Schroedinger’s A-holes are the worst.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

Ah yes the beer question. I do think this one gets a little murkier than Cecil’s example.

So you invite people over and say “BYOB” and they only drink half and then take their half home. Is it that you expect people to bring you extra booze rather than they are petty and cheap and take their own stuff home, after you told them to bring it because despite your hosting you wouldn’t supply any drinks?

To be perfectly honest, especially considering cost of alcohol, I can see both sides of the leave your beer there or take it home scenarios. Personally I have done both many times, probably leaning towards leaving beer most times but I certainly don’t judge or get upset at my friends if they take theirs with them when they leave my place.

It also isn’t an issue ever with our friends but I’ve seen other friend groups argue over it and I think that’s a dicey one haha

In this instance it was a dinner party. We invited him, and as guests usually do, they bring beverages. To be fair, he did bring probably a lot (it was a long time ago, but say a couple of 6-packs for what would have been 10 adults - granted we already had drinks and it wasn’t a BYOB thing) I am going off an old memory on this), and he did ask if he should take it home after. I just said “sure”, but what else would a polite host say? We didn’t need it, but it really struck me as odd though.

[you&me]

Originally Posted by Wormius

In this instance it was a dinner party. We invited him, and as guests usually do, they bring beverages. To be fair, he did bring probably a lot (it was a long time ago, but say a couple of 6-packs for what would have been 10 adults - granted we already had drinks and it wasn’t a BYOB thing) I am going off an old memory on this), and he did ask if he should take it home after. I just said “sure”, but what else would a polite host say? We didn’t need it, but it really struck me as odd though.

Not saying this is the case in your example, but there's also the angle that some people have, um, unique tastes in beverages... If the guest brings something that only they like, there's no point in them leaving it behind.

[KTrain]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

Ah yes the beer question. I do think this one gets a little murkier than Cecil’s example.

So you invite people over and say “BYOB” and they only drink half and then take their half home. Is it that you expect people to bring you extra booze rather than they are petty and cheap and take their own stuff home, after you told them to bring it because despite your hosting you wouldn’t supply any drinks?

To be perfectly honest, especially considering cost of alcohol, I can see both sides of the leave your beer there or take it home scenarios. Personally I have done both many times, probably leaning towards leaving beer most times but I certainly don’t judge or get upset at my friends if they take theirs with them when they leave my place.

It also isn’t an issue ever with our friends but I’ve seen other friend groups argue over it and I think that’s a dicey one haha

Leaving the booze you don't drink is the payment to the host for the get-together at their place

Originally Posted by you&me

Not saying this is the case in your example, but there's also the angle that some people have, um, unique tastes in beverages... If the guest brings something that only they like, there's no point in them leaving it behind.

This is also a problem with the "payment" rationale. I've had nasty booze sitting in my house for years that was left behind at parties.

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by Wormius

In this instance it was a dinner party. We invited him, and as guests usually do, they bring beverages. To be fair, he did bring probably a lot (it was a long time ago, but say a couple of 6-packs for what would have been 10 adults - granted we already had drinks and it wasn’t a BYOB thing) I am going off an old memory on this), and he did ask if he should take it home after. I just said “sure”, but what else would a polite host say? We didn’t need it, but it really struck me as odd though.

You’re only option is to say yes in this instance for sure. If you say no it makes you look petty. The guest shouldn’t ask just do or do not (like yoda I guess) to avoid the awkwardness.

For example if they just grabbed their stuff, you may even question it less than when they ask you.

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by KTrain

Leaving the booze you don't drink is the payment to the host for the get-together at their place

But shouldn’t a good host offer drinks?

Hey wanna come for supper? Yeah yeah sounds great, bring whatever you’d like and then I’ll serve it to you.

It sounds weird with booze and food however for some reason BYOB has become quite customary. Why? And if that is the case, what’s wrong with them taking it home?

Leave booze out of it, do you expect gifts when people are invited to your place? No? Why not?

[nfotiu]

Originally Posted by Wormius

In this instance it was a dinner party. We invited him, and as guests usually do, they bring beverages. To be fair, he did bring probably a lot (it was a long time ago, but say a couple of 6-packs for what would have been 10 adults - granted we already had drinks and it wasn’t a BYOB thing) I am going off an old memory on this), and he did ask if he should take it home after. I just said “sure”, but what else would a polite host say? We didn’t need it, but it really struck me as odd though.

There's a lot of different scenarios to consider on this question. If I bring some craft beer over to a bud light or wine drinkers house, then I'll probably grab them when I leave if I think of it. Conversely if someone brings Bud Light over to my house, I make sure they take it home.

If I know the people like craft beer or wine, I'll bring some with the intention of leaving some over.

Then there is the scenario where you might know you have no beer at home left and aren't ready to quit drinking for the night and want to make sure you bring some home with you!

[KTrain]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

But shouldn’t a good host offer drinks?

Hey wanna come for supper? Yeah yeah sounds great, bring whatever you’d like and then I’ll serve it to you.

It sounds weird with booze and food however for some reason BYOB has become quite customary. Why? And if that is the case, what’s wrong with them taking it home?

Leave booze out of it, do you expect gifts when people are invited to your place? No? Why not?

For sure, depending on the age I guess. It definitely wasn't an option when I was in college to supply my boozy friends with booze when they came over to my place.

Also depends on the size of the party. If someone is hosting a big BBQ, is supplying the food and say BYOB, you should leave the booze you don't drink as thanks for hosting.

Dinner parties are different I suppose. If you're hosting, you supply it all and the guest should probably bring a bottle of wine or case of beer they know the host will like.

[Mr.Coffee]

It is definitely contextual which is why if somebody says their friend is a dink for taking booze home you probably need to understand the full picture to understand if it was the right / wrong thing to do. You can when in doubt just leave booze all the time but I don’t think it makes you an ####### if you take it in various circumstances.

[The Fisher Account]

I’m sorry, but I would be mortified to attend a friends party who said BYOB.

You’re hosting the party, you supply the drinks.