12-02-2008, 08:28 AM
|
#21
|
|
Pants Tent
|
My university philosophy prof. said there is no such thing as a soul.
I said that my shoes have soles.
and then the fight started.
__________________
KIPPER IS KING
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 09:19 AM
|
#22
|
|
Lifetime Suspension
|
The kids and I were out building a couple of snowmen. When we got back inside the wife asked why it took longer to make the female one. I told her we had to hollow out the head.
.... and then the fight started!!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JohnnyFlame For This Useful Post:
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 04:19 PM
|
#23
|
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: 127.0.0.1
|
My wife asked me to kiss her where's it's smelly.
So I took her to Edmonton...
and then the fight started.
__________________
Pass the bacon.
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 04:25 PM
|
#24
|
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
|
First they asked why we let our mutts run off the leash?
Second they asked what was so great about camping?
Third they asked why they shouldn't just exterminate all the bears?
Fourth they said they voted NDP?
And then the fighting started...
__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 04:45 PM
|
#25
|
|
One of the Nine
|
My wife came into the room and said: "Honey, the dishwasher's broken."
I looked at her and said: "You look fine to me."
...and that's when the fight started.
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 04:50 PM
|
#26
|
|
One of the Nine
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Space Sector 2814
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bagor
I rear-ended a car this morning.
The other driver got out of his car.
I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’
And then the fight started…..
|
That post just saved this thread.
__________________
"In brightest day, in blackest night / No evil shall escape my sight / Let those who worship evil's might / Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!"
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 06:30 PM
|
#27
|
|
#1 Goaltender
|
My girlfriend asked me why men like bjs so much.
I said, "The ten minutes of silence."
And then the fight started.
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 07:16 PM
|
#28
|
|
Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
|
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 07:34 PM
|
#29
|
|
First Line Centre
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Calgary
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dion
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
|
*deja vu from page one *
You deserve honourable mention in the "you're doing it wrong" thread. 
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 07:47 PM
|
#30
|
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Calgary, Alberta
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dion
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
|
Fata from the FIRST POST!!!
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 07:51 PM
|
#31
|
|
Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
|
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 08:08 PM
|
#32
|
|
Fearmongerer
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Wondering when # became hashtag and not a number sign.
|
So im working at my part time job at the supermarket last night and manning the cash register.
This girl walks up and proceeds to load on the checkout stand..
1 toothbrush
1 bag of chips
1 banana
1 bottle of wine
1 can of tuna
1 bottle of water
1 bar of soap
1 box of hygiene products
1 small roasting pan
I add it all up and look at her and say with a wry smile...
"why... you must be single young lady"
She says with an enthusiastic smile back at me.....
"well yes I am (wink wink) why do you ask?"
I say...
Cause you are one ugly sucker.
Then the fight started.
|
|
|
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to transplant99 For This Useful Post:
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 08:08 PM
|
#33
|
|
Disenfranchised
|
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept looking over at a drunk lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking immediately after we broke up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" Says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating for that long?"
And then the fight started!
|
|
|
|
|
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Antithesis For This Useful Post:
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 08:52 PM
|
#34
|
|
Powerplay Quarterback
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayems
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I'll have the ribeye steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren't you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that's how the fight started.....
|
HAHAHAHAHA, that has to be the best one
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 08:58 PM
|
#35
|
|
#1 Goaltender
|
My wife asked if these jeans made her look fat,
And I said, no they don't.
But the fat makes you look fat.
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 10:41 PM
|
#36
|
|
First Line Centre
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Dead Rear, AB
|
Ok, true story...on multiple occasions.
My wife asked me to wash the dishes after dinner. I said "I can't". She said "why?"
"Cuz that's your job!"
And then the fight started...
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 10:55 PM
|
#37
|
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Calgary
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antithesis
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept looking over at a drunk lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking immediately after we broke up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" Says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating for that long?"
|
maybe i'm weird, but if my wife came up with something like that, i would probably bust my gut laughing.
|
|
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 11:06 PM
|
#38
|
|
Backup Goalie
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Airdrie
Exp: 
|
My wife asked me to put up the christmas lights.
So I did
Thats when the fight started.
|
|
|
|
|
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Smyth's Skate For This Useful Post:
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 11:12 PM
|
#39
|
|
Everyone's Favorite Oilfan!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: San Jose, California
|
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....
|
|
|
|
|
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to OILFAN #81 For This Useful Post:
|
|
|
12-02-2008, 11:18 PM
|
#40
|
|
Everyone's Favorite Oilfan!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: San Jose, California
|
1.
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started.......
2.
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started.....
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:32 PM.
|
|
