How To Repel Mormons?

[Dion]

Originally Posted by krazycanuck

I have some great mormon friends who went off and served these missions, I'm sure most people who grew up in Alberta know some mormons who have done the same. Some of you guys might be surprised to find out these are pretty normal guys who have decided to donate a couple years of there lives to their belief system. You don't need to be rude to them, just tell them you're not interested. If you're bored, invite them in and debate religion with them (seriously, my one friend loved when people would just chat belief systems with him).

Seriously though, I've heard some of the stuff they've gone through from rude or inconsiderate people. Then to hear people say that they send their dogs after them. They don't mean ill-will to you, they truly believe they are offering you a gift by sharing their beliefs. If you don't want to hear it, tell them no. Don't be an about it.

I can appreciate what they are doing. Still, they don't seem to realise that people don't like someone knocking on their door trying to shove their beliefs upon them. I put them on the same level of telemarketers.

If people are interested in Mormonisn they can attend the local church in thier area.

[Weiser Wonder]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

"What's the point, you're just going to baptize me when I'm dead anyways"

Seriously, they do that.

I wouldn't mind after I'm dead, just in case.

[Temporary_User]

Originally Posted by krazycanuck

I have some great mormon friends who went off and served these missions, I'm sure most people who grew up in Alberta know some mormons who have done the same. Some of you guys might be surprised to find out these are pretty normal guys who have decided to donate a couple years of there lives to their belief system. You don't need to be rude to them, just tell them you're not interested. If you're bored, invite them in and debate religion with them (seriously, my one friend loved when people would just chat belief systems with him).

Seriously though, I've heard some of the stuff they've gone through from rude or inconsiderate people. Then to hear people say that they send their dogs after them. They don't mean ill-will to you, they truly believe they are offering you a gift by sharing their beliefs. If you don't want to hear it, tell them no. Don't be an about it.

Don't try and bring ethics, morals, and reason into this thread.

Perhaps you missed this quote:

Originally Posted by Schultzie

(By the way, I know this thread has massive potential for funny suggestions, so feel free to post those too. Haha!)

[jammies]

Originally Posted by krazycanuck

Seriously though, I've heard some of the stuff they've gone through from rude or inconsiderate people.

Well, there's always the option of not going around annoying people with their rude and inconsiderate proselytizing. Sort of like someone leaving a flaming bag of dog crap on my doorstep and then complaining when I throw it back at them.

[krazycanuck]

Originally Posted by Dion

I can appreciate what they are doing. Still, they don't seem to realise that people don't like someone knocking on their door trying to shove their beliefs upon them. I put them on the same level of telemarketers.

The funny thing is, they dislike it too...at least among my friends who did it. They said most of their time is filled with appointments from people who contact them, or friends of friends etc...they go door to door basically when there is nothing else to do. However, I seem to recall them saying that part of their belief system is to give at least everyone the chance to hear their message which is why there are mormon missionaries in the first place, not sure what the case of the JW's is. I tell telemarketers to put me on their no call list. If it is such a hinderance to have religious groups put up a no soliciting/religious groups sign up on your door.

Originally Posted by Temporary_User

Don't try and bring ethics, morals, and reason into this thread.

Perhaps you missed this quote:

Ethics, morals and reason will absolutely be brought into this thread. If I or someone else started a thread about how to get rid of black people in their neighbourhood, I would hope there would be someone who would stand up to that thread too. Why is it funny that someone released a rottweiler onto a couple of innocent people who knocked on their door? If I "joked" about going downtown and releasing a pitbull at the gay pride parade, would it be funny? religious groups, no matter how wacky we view them deserve the same rights.

Originally Posted by jammies

Well, there's always the option of not going around annoying people with their rude and inconsiderate proselytizing. Sort of like someone leaving a flaming bag of dog crap on my doorstep and then complaining when I throw it back at them.

If they ring your doorbell and tell you to go f*** yourself, then by all means tell them it back. They honestly believe what they are trying to tell you, they're not doing it to try and piss off as many people as possible. They're doing it, because they in their own wacky little way think they can help your life.

I'm not about to become mormon, but of people I have met the majority are very nice people. When the mormons come by my place, they give me their spiel, I give them a "no thank you", and because I think of my friends in those guys shoes years before, I will usually offer to hook them up with some granola bars or some other food they can pack away (they don't get paid, and live on a real low living allowance) and send them on their way. That's the easiest to do. It's alot easier to be civil with someone than to be rude and obnoxious.

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Originally Posted by krazycanuck

Ethics, morals and reason will absolutely be brought into this thread. If I or someone else started a thread about how to get rid of black people in their neighbourhood, I would hope there would be someone who would stand up to that thread too.

Horrible analogy. This has nothing to do with the fact that they are Mormon. It has to do with the fact that they are annoying people. The OP isn't trying to get Mormons out of his neighbourhood, just his property.

Why is it funny that someone released a rottweiler onto a couple of innocent people who knocked on their door?

Because if they can't mind their own business, they get the business! They aren't innocent people, they are uninvited trespassers. If they can't get the message the first time, the message gets a lot more obvious.

If I "joked" about going downtown and releasing a pitbull at the gay pride parade, would it be funny?

Well if you made some kind of reference about how your dog was just fetching some balls, it would be kind of funny.

religious groups, no matter how wacky we view them deserve the same rights.

Unless the gay pride parade was marching through your yard, the analogy is nothing alike. Just because they hide behind religion doesn't change the fact that they are trespassing.

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

but I have to admit, every single Mormon that I ever worked with or met outside of the door-to-door atmosphere have been very nice people.

They taste good with hunter sauce too.

[tvp2003]

OP: How to repel Mormons? There are actually lots of ways:

1. Open up your door naked
2. Tell them to &*(#@ off
3. Spit in their face
4. Start throwing punches until they leave

And the one I like the most -- thank them politely for taking the time to contact you but that you're not interested in learning about the Mormon faith. Yup, that's all you have to do. If you really want to, tell them that you only gave them your name and phone number because they seemed like decent guys and that you were just trying to be nice. They won't get offended, trust me (unlike with the @$$hats who choose options 1 to 4 above).

These guys are usually 18-20 years old, and are not from Calgary. They are just trying to help people, and part of that is sharing what they themselves believe in, in hopes that it will make people's lives better. They don't get paid for doing this, and they are otherwise just regular 18-20 year old guys who play sports, go to school, etc.

Originally Posted by Sylvanfan

Aren't they supposed to help you do something if you ask for the help or something like that. I seem to remember someone mentioning it last year when I had to replace my lawn. So I suggest take on some daunting task that involves some serious slave labour, and invite them over.

Yeah, trying to help people doesn't have to involve religion -- sometimes it's just about providing service to someone who might need a helping hand. However, that's not an invitation to turn these guys into slaves remember, they're human too...

[simonsays]

Honest answer: Tell them you're Jewish or Islamic. Mormons will try to convert anyone who isn't Jewish or Islamic. Fait accomplis. It's like when the Heart and Stroke Foundation calls you at home, during dinner, and you tell them no - you have cancer.

[BigBCalgary]

When I was living in Kelowna a few years back, my roommate and I were getting ready for our halloween bash. As luck would have it My roommate was trying out is Viking costume complete with horned helmet and animal skins. He spotted them coming up the walk and grabbed a chicken out of the fridge that we were going to B.B.Q later and when he answered the door he said "Come on in.... we're just getting started with the sacrifice! We could use some virgins!"
They made it back to their P.O.S Civic in record time and we never saw them again.
Worked like a charm.

[Gugstanley]

Living in the heart of Mormon country I might be able to help you on this one. I've had them bugging me for years but finallly got rid of them. This is more then a wacky fake religion, the mormon church is big business that hides under a non profit hat.

If you want to have some fun with them learn a little about their ridiculous religion then debate it with them. They will end up hitting you with the out card "I just know it is true".

The missionaries are 19 year old kids that have been brainwashed from birth. They donate 1.5 years of their life to harrass people. Their families pay for their living expenses while doing this. It wouldn't hurt to help them out with a meal or something.

This "church" is on the decline in North America but they are really good at picking on underdeveloped countries. To get rid of them you need to be very firm in telling them they can't continue to contact you. Good luck and if you don't like someone refer tell the missionaries that person has expressed interest in their religion.

[troutman]

http://www.exmormon.org/

Here is a summary of important facts about the Mormon church, its doctrine, and its history that the missionaries will probably not tell you. We are not suggesting that they are intentionally deceiving you --most of the young Mormons serving missions for the church are not well educated in the history of the church or in modern critical studies of the church. They probably do not know the all the facts themselves. They have been trained, however, to give investigators "milk before meat," that is, to postpone revealing anything at all that might make an investigator hesitant, even if it is true. But you should be aware of these facts before you commit yourself.

http://www.exmormon.org/tract2.htm

[Azure]

Well, I wouldn't like it either if they came to my door.....but there is no reason why you can't be respectful and tell them you're not interested...and close the door.

[algernon]

Originally Posted by troutman

http://www.exmormon.org/

In 1823 Joseph had another heavenly visitation, in which an angel named Moroni told him of a sacred history written by ancient Hebrews in America, engraved in an Egyptian dialect on tablets of gold and buried in a nearby hill. Joseph was told it was the history of the ancient peoples of America, and that Joseph would be the instrument for bringing this record to the knowledge of the world. Joseph obtained these gold plates from the angel in 1827, and translated them into English by the spirit of God and the use of a sacred instrument accompanying the plates called the "Urim and Thummim." The translation was published in 1830 as The Book of Mormon, now revered by Mormons as scripture, along with the Bible

What the hell? A friend of min sent me a book a few days ago called The Alchemist by Paulo Cohelo. My buddy is as far from a Mormon as anyone I know, as he parties and likes correcting me when I say 'Thank God' with a 'you mean "thank gods''

Anyway, it's a story about a shepherd who travels to Africa to fulfill his 'Personal Legend'. I read half of it last night, wondering if it was some sort of New Age culty-type book, as it talked of Urim + Thummim, like they were 'magic crystals' ...Now I see 'ol Joe Smith makes use of the two...

Can anyone shed some light on this?

signed,
confused in Denver

PS, when I finish it, maybe I'll have answered my own question.

[algernon]

Originally Posted by Azure

Well, I wouldn't like it either if they came to my door.....but there is no reason why you can't be respectful and tell them you're not interested...and close the door.

Exactly. Why be a prick to someone who means you no harm? Sure they are 'carefully programed', but they aren't necessarily evil. Plus, anyone who volunteers deserves respect, IMO.

[habernac]

Give them a copy of "Under the Banner of Heaven" and ask them to come back after they've read it to discuss.

Seriously, I don't care what religion you subscribe to, the sign beside my door says no solicitors, this includes people who are soliciting their belief system. I don't knock on your door, please give me the same courtesy.

[Azure]

Originally Posted by algernon

Exactly. Why be a prick to someone who means you no harm? Sure they are 'carefully programed', but they aren't necessarily evil. Plus, anyone who volunteers deserves respect, IMO.

I wonder if people would do the same thing if the Red Cross went door-to-door asking for donations.

Or the boy/girl scouts.

Be respectful people. Its not that hard to do.

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by Azure

Well, I wouldn't like it either if they came to my door.....but there is no reason why you can't be respectful and tell them you're not interested...and close the door.

I'm a dick to everyone that comes to my door, why should mormons get any different treatment

[chris lindberg]

Those were two very informative links, thank you.

[onetwo_threefour]

Everybody has missed the ultimate solution. Although I don't blame you all, as I didn't know about it until my wife told me.

Apparently, while on these missions, these folks are supposed to do good works. Now, some friends of ours that lived down the street from us a few years ago were aware of this little snippet, and happened to be in the process of building a fence when the mormon boys came around. Apparently you can use them for slave labour as part of this 'good works' thing. Our friends had the mormons digging post holes and building fence for the whole weekend. The added benefit being that you keep a half dozen of them off the streets for a few days. I was so mad that I had just finished cutting about half the sod out of my backyard, and missed out on the chance to provide this service to my community!!