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Old 05-09-2008, 10:23 PM   #1
Schultzie
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Default How To Repel Mormons?

So I had a couple "Elders" come to my door today, and like an idiot I gave them my (real) name and (real) phone number. They told me they will be giving me a call and coming back to my place (they wanted me to join some young-adult program), but I'm not interested in their BS at all (although, those magic underpants do sound pretty cool. ).

I'm pretty sure a simple "thanks but I'm not interested" won't do the trick (at least it hasn't before), so I'm not sure what I should do to get the point across.

If anyone has any ideas of what I could do, please let me know!

(By the way, I know this thread has massive potential for funny suggestions, so feel free to post those too. Haha!)

Last edited by Schultzie; 05-09-2008 at 10:27 PM.
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Old 05-09-2008, 10:35 PM   #2
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kick em in the junk and say it was a message from god to leave you alone.
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Old 05-09-2008, 10:39 PM   #3
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"What's the point, you're just going to baptize me when I'm dead anyways"

Seriously, they do that.
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Old 05-09-2008, 10:39 PM   #4
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A few years back the morning after St Patty's my friends had there hung over hobo looking friend answer the door. Now said friend had had a really interesting night that involved loss of control of certain body functions. And was in a messy state, therefore the JWs (yes not Mormons, but it applys just as well) that had been coming over weekly like clockwork never came back. So long story short get a hung over hobo to answer your door next time.
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Old 05-09-2008, 10:40 PM   #5
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98% Deet
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Old 05-09-2008, 10:47 PM   #6
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My cousin's friend once released his big Rottweiler (I think) on a pair of Jehovah's. Needless to say, they hauled ass outta there and the Jehovah problem was solved!
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Old 05-09-2008, 10:52 PM   #7
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Make them a counter offer extolling the virtues of your own religion.

I once tried to convert some Jehovas to Pastafarian but they so feared the Flying Spaghetti Monster that they bailed in record time.
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Old 05-09-2008, 11:06 PM   #8
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Don't give them your name or phone number, and tell them you are not interested, say thank you and close the door. Too easy?

I don't like any door-to-door solicitors, whether religious or for commerce and I find the above tactic works just fine. Sometimes I have to be a little abrupt, but not rude.

I find some of the beliefs and tactics by Mormons to try and spread their religion annoying, but I have to admit, every single Mormon that I ever worked with or met outside of the door-to-door atmosphere have been very nice people.
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Old 05-09-2008, 11:09 PM   #9
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Thanks for all the suggestions everyone!

And I just noticed this when I clicked on the link to this thread. A sign, perhaps?

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Old 05-09-2008, 11:11 PM   #10
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Place an upside down cross on your front door and this statue on your front lawn.
Works like a charm!
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Old 05-09-2008, 11:11 PM   #11
Schultzie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction View Post
Don't give them your name or phone number, and tell them you are not interested, say thank you and close the door. Too easy?
Apparently. Haha.
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Old 05-09-2008, 11:11 PM   #12
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Tell them that John Smith translated the Pearl of Great price from what is basically only an Eqyptian funeral card and show them how the copy of the hieroglyphics in their book of mormon is totally fake and that they just made up the missing parts.

IE: the copy John had was torn and missing the head of the main character. The mormon artist drew in a human head while the real item (which exists in multiple copies commonly in Egypt and on mummies) has the head of Ra instead.
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Old 05-10-2008, 12:07 AM   #13
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Logic.
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Old 05-10-2008, 12:29 AM   #14
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Aren't they supposed to help you do something if you ask for the help or something like that. I seem to remember someone mentioning it last year when I had to replace my lawn. So I suggest take on some daunting task that involves some serious slave labour, and invite them over.
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Old 05-10-2008, 12:44 AM   #15
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Welcome them into your home, accept whatever literature they have to offer, then politely listen to their spiel.

When they're finished, offer them a complimentary copy of The God Delusion and invite them back in a week's time to discuss the book and convince them to abandon their religious beliefs.

If they refuse this offer, immediately throw them out of your home while quoting Psalm 26:4 to them.
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Old 05-10-2008, 01:06 AM   #16
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Step one: cut a hole in a box.....
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Old 05-10-2008, 01:22 AM   #17
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Hey Boss, there's some guys here from Jesus?

Well, cut off their balls!

(while pulling switchblade) Boss says I gotta cut off your balls.....
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Old 05-10-2008, 01:28 AM   #18
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Put lemon juice and chili powder on your window, that usually keeps them out
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Old 05-10-2008, 01:47 AM   #19
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Hahaha this guy is Gold!

Australian filmmaker John Safran is so fed up with Mormons ringing his doorbell early in the morning that he flies to Salt Lake City Utah and tries to convert Mormons to atheism. Needless to say, the locals were not pleased.

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Old 05-10-2008, 01:51 AM   #20
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I have some great mormon friends who went off and served these missions, I'm sure most people who grew up in Alberta know some mormons who have done the same. Some of you guys might be surprised to find out these are pretty normal guys who have decided to donate a couple years of there lives to their belief system. You don't need to be rude to them, just tell them you're not interested. If you're bored, invite them in and debate religion with them (seriously, my one friend loved when people would just chat belief systems with him).

Seriously though, I've heard some of the stuff they've gone through from rude or inconsiderate people. Then to hear people say that they send their dogs after them. They don't mean ill-will to you, they truly believe they are offering you a gift by sharing their beliefs. If you don't want to hear it, tell them no. Don't be an about it.
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