Dating a friends ex.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by CalgaryFan1988

They got divorced in 2010.

He was not a good husband, cheated a lot and stuff and he ended it.

I personally wouldn't care if the situation was reversed.

This guy sound like a nice fella, I can see why you would want to remain friends.


I would tell him that you are interested to exploring a relationship with the women he cheated on then left.

[CalgaryFan1988]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Are we talking dating or hooking up?

She wants to date, seems pretty serious.

We already did the hook up thing, to make sure we didn't upset any apple carts for nothing.

[BigNumbers]

Originally Posted by Jason14h

And to be honest it sounds like you've made up your mind already and are looking for internet validation cause you know it's kind of scummy!

A bit blunt, but I agree. You've made your mind up and are looking for confirmation.

Understand that this guy is not going to be your friend afterwards, or will harbour resentment, etc. But based on how you've described him this sounds more like an acquaintance than a friend, so likely not an issue if that friendship suffers.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Jason14h

Depends if you're a ####ty friend or not!

How long ago did they break up?

Originally Posted by Jason14h

And to be honest it sounds like you've made up your mind already and are looking for internet validation cause you know it's kind of scummy!

If what he says is correct, they had kids and his friend cheated on her, does he really want an individual like as a friend?

[CalgaryFan1988]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

This guy sound like a nice fella, I can see why you would want to remain friends.


I would tell him that you are interested to exploring a relationship with the women he cheated on then left.

That's the way I look at it too. He took her for granted..... His loss

We've been friends for around 30 years or so, which is why we are still friends. He's not winning any "classy man of the year" awards anytime soon.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by CalgaryFan1988

That's the way I look at it too. He took her for granted..... His loss

We've been friends for around 30 years or so, which is why we are still friends. He's not winning any "classy man of the year" awards anytime soon.

Yeah #### him. I think every situation is different, and if you are being factual in what you say, then too bad so sad for him.

[Jason14h]

If what he says is correct, they had kids and his friend cheated on her, does he really want an individual like as a friend?

Apparently or this wouldn't be an issue at all???? Not sure what answer you want from me!

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

If what he says is correct, they had kids and his friend cheated on her, does he really want an individual like as a friend?

People sometimes do bad things for understandable reasons, and without condoning that behaviour, usually relationships are complicated. The fact that a guy cheated on his wife does not make him a monster that no one should want to be friends with.

[CalgaryFan1988]

Originally Posted by Jason14h

And to be honest it sounds like you've made up your mind already and are looking for internet validation cause you know it's kind of scummy!

More or less, lol

I am a good guy, that's why I feel scummy. But something about her feels so right.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Jason14h

Apparently or this wouldn't be an issue at all???? Not sure what answer you want from me!

Perhaps he is just "talking it through", and looking for other opinions prior to moving forward.

[Drak]

Is she hawt?

[troutman]

Originally Posted by CalgaryFan1988

We already did the hook up thing, to make sure we didn't upset any apple carts for nothing.

You left that tidbit out of the OP.

[ResAlien]

You've been friends for 30 years? Kind of changes the situation don't you think? Possibly information to lead with next time.

Either way sure, sow your old oats sir. Sow them as best you see fit.

[CaptainCrunch]

If you're close friends, or even not so close friends and you do it, chances are on some dark and stormy night when liquor is involved and this subject comes up, you might just get your lights punched out.

Especially if your dating her, talking about her or bringing her around to common hang outs, it becomes a resented feeling of you're rubbing his face in it and not in a good way.

while he doesn't have any kind of property rights (d'uh) and she and you can do what you want, prepare for that friend ship to end rather abruptly, in my experience, even if your friend says its ok to date her, its not ok in his mind that you date her, especially if you go to the above point of common hangouts, talking about her around him etc etc.

If you're prepared to pay the consequences (from simple loss of friendship to drunken version of Nintendo Street Fighter) and you've talked with him, then go for it.

But this stuff never ever ends well.

oh and there are kids involved, that are his? Major walk away point for me.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by CalgaryFan1988

That's the way I look at it too. He took her for granted..... His loss

We've been friends for around 30 years or so, which is why we are still friends. He's not winning any "classy man of the year" awards anytime soon.

Originally Posted by CorsiHockeyLeague

People sometimes do bad things for understandable reasons, and without condoning that behaviour, usually relationships are complicated. The fact that a guy cheated on his wife does not make him a monster that no one should want to be friends with.

Agreed, but his later post seems to point this individual being less than genuine.

I can only work on the facts as presented by the OP in this thread.

[CalgaryFan1988]

Originally Posted by troutman

You left that tidbit out of the OP.

Nothing too serious, just wanted to make sure there was a little spark before proceeding.

When I say "hook up" I didn't mean sex, even though it sounded like that.

We went out for drinks to see if it was more than just an attraction on appearance.

[Leeman4Gilmour]

Originally Posted by CalgaryFan1988

She wants to date, seems pretty serious.

We already did the hook up thing, to make sure we didn't upset any apple carts for nothing.

LOL, go for it. If it works, perfect. If it doesn't, you can crawl back to your buddy and both of you can bitch about the same ex.

P.S. Sorry about the loss of your wife and it's good you're moving forward.

[peter12]

Haha, 65 people viewing this thread. People don't want to talk about the Middle East, they want to read about people's sex lives!

Honestly, with everything you have said so far, you are probably taking considerable risks in moving forward with this.

[dammage79]

Don't dance on egg shells, if you're both happy, so be it. Life is too short.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by peter12

Haha, 65 people viewing this thread. People don't want to talk about the Middle East, they want to read about people's sex lives!

Honestly, with everything you have said so far, you are probably taking considerable risks in moving forward with this.

This thread is the TMZ of CP.