Baby on the way... tips for a first time parent? - Page 14 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Knut · 09-14-2011, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red sky

Yeah! I can't wait! Sounds like a dream!

Most of the time it is fantastic. Being able to see him grow, smile, laugh and the unconditional love you feel is amazing. There are times when it is frustrating, but those are the minority.

It is worth it for sure.

The Goon · 09-14-2011, 02:49 PM

Bose noise cancelling headphones were a lifesaver for us when the baby went on a non-stop crying jag. Doesn't completely take the sound out, but certainly removes the piercing edge of his scream.

VladtheImpaler · 09-14-2011, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hesla

Most of the time it is fantastic. Being able to see him grow, smile, laugh and the unconditional love you feel is amazing. There are times when it is frustrating, but those are the minority.

It is worth it for sure.

Yeah, I have to say that I am old, I never liked other people's children (still don't), never wanted one of my own (but allowed myself to be convinced), but since he's popped out, it's just like Hesla said. Quite amazing...

Wormius · 09-14-2011, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barnes

One feels sympathy when one hasn't been there. One feels empathy when one has. The ability to put oneself into someone else's shoes is what separates man from beast. We are talking about empathy or the ability to understand, perceive another person's feelings. The two are not the same and feelings are not actions.

When it's 3 in the morning, you have too work in 4 hours and haven't had more than 6 hours of sleep all week, have practically nothing to eat in the house, your dog hasn't been walked in days, wondering if the bills are going to be paid on one income and your wife is sad all the time due to drastic hormonal changes, your perspective can get a little skewed. Feeling empathy in this situation is the natural human response. What your actions are is the measure of what kind of human you are and understanding why someone would do something is very different then doing it.

Agreed. I used "sympathy" intentionally. I haven't felt like roughing up my children because they cried or didn't do what I wanted them too. Maybe that thought occurs in some people who can't cope. I don't think a reasonably sane, adult parent would think those things unless they had mental health issues.

I also don't agree with comments that suggest that if you don't feel like resorting to violence that it somehow means you must not have been the primary caregiver or you didn't do any work raising the child yourself. That just seems like a defense mechanism for justifying their own feelings. Which is fine, just don't say that say that I have to feel that way or else I wasn't involved in raising my kids.

Russic · 09-14-2011, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red sky

Yeah! I can't wait! Sounds like a dream!

To echo what Hesla said, one day that screaming, crapping ball of pain-in-the-ass is going to get up, yell "daddy" and run over and give you a hug. It's awesome enough that the brutal times are worth it.

Barnes · 09-14-2011, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wormius

Agreed. I used "sympathy" intentionally. I haven't felt like roughing up my children because they cried or didn't do what I wanted them too. Maybe that thought occurs in some people who can't cope. I don't think a reasonably sane, adult parent would think those things unless they had mental health issues.

I also don't agree with comments that suggest that if you don't feel like resorting to violence that it somehow means you must not have been the primary caregiver or you didn't do any work raising the child yourself. That just seems like a defense mechanism for justifying their own feelings. Which is fine, just don't say that say that I have to feel that way or else I wasn't involved in raising my kids.

Again there is a distinct difference between understanding why someone would do something, thinking of doing something and actually doing something. All we are talking about here is the first part. Before you have children, it is impossible to fathom how someone could do it. Once you have a child you kinda understand what would lead a weaker person to do it. That by no means makes it ok.

Ashartus · 09-14-2011, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fotze

Did you have a mother in law staying with you for the first while?

Depending on your mother in law that might be about the worst thing you could do; mine would have raised the stress levels in the house and not helped at all. Personally I think it's better to have a family member come over for a while during the day to give mom a break rather than actually stay with you.

Knut · 09-14-2011, 04:14 PM

My mother in Law stayed with us for a couple weeks after and it was hard to see her go. Every morning at 5 am she would take the baby and let us sleep in until noon if we wanted. Then in the evening she would say "I have this" you guys go out and go to a nice dinner.

I would let her move in, no problem.

SportsJunky · 09-14-2011, 04:21 PM

My in-laws are great too. They have been here two weeks already (baby due tomorrow) and if nothing else they keep my wife calm. My mother in law keeps up the laundry, makes meals, cleans and chases around our two year old when my wife is too tired to move. I've offered to let them move in but so far they aren't taking the bait.

fredr123 · 09-14-2011, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hesla

My mother in Law stayed with us for a couple weeks after and it was hard to see her go. Every morning at 5 am she would take the baby and let us sleep in until noon if we wanted. Then in the evening she would say "I have this" you guys go out and go to a nice dinner.

I would let her move in, no problem.

I. Hate. You.

Table 5 · 12-10-2012, 09:00 PM

Couldn't really find a "Car Seat Transgressions thread", so this will have to do.

For starters, I have a Peg Perego car seat and an 2008 Volvo V50. I spent the last 2 hours playing around with different ways of attaching it, with some mixed results....and now i need some advice/feedback.

Ideally, I'd like to be able to use the Latch systems, but they are only on the outboard (door) seats, and not in the middle. I'd prefer to use the middle as that's the safest spot. The problem is that the seat doesn't seem to be as secure in the middle….it wobbles around a bit. I spent a solid hour trying different ways to tighten the mother, but it still feels a little loosey goosey. I heard that it's not supposed to move more than one 1", but I'm not sure what they mean by move. Is that 1" at the point that's closest to the seatbelt/seat, or 1" that's far away as possible (i.e. closer to the front seats)? Obviously that makes a rather big difference, since one side of the car seat is not attached to anything.

If I use the Latch system on the sides, it's definitely tighter. But then the seat is not in the seat I'd like of course.

Now the other thing is that, I can technically use the latch system when the seat is in the middle, if I buckle them outward (i.e, one buckles the left outboard, the other the right outboard). Ive never seen that anywhere, but it seems to fit and does make things tighter. Is that allowed?

tete · 12-10-2012, 09:16 PM

No, you cannot use the latch system if you want the car seat in the middle.

We put our car seat on the passenger side using the LATCH system - it's the only seat that works for how far back the driver's seat has to be for my husband to drive. I know it's not the safest place, but I feel the benefits outweigh the risks.

Rathji · 12-10-2012, 09:18 PM

Car seats are tricky, in that no 2 seats will have the same manufacturers installation instructions, which is the only legal requirement. I can't imagine any car seat that would allow only being anchored on one side, so I would rule that out entirely.

As far as using one left and one right anchor, you would likely need to consult your car manual, as it would be the definitive source. I am thinking it is not a possiblity though.

Another option, depending on your car model, is getting another anchor set installed in the middle. I know in my old van, Dodge installed up to 3 anchors for us for no cost, but since you already have the anchor system, you would probably have to pay for it.

Barnes · 12-10-2012, 09:26 PM

Forward or rear facing? You should be able to use the two inner most LATCH clips to get it in the middle. Get in there, get your knee in the seat, lean on it hard a pull the straps. It always seemed tougher to get tight in rear facing mode.

Edit: Whoops. You can not use the LATCH system in the middle unless it says you can in your cars manual.

tete · 12-10-2012, 09:41 PM

Sorry, I just realized that our Nissan manual specifically said that you cannot use the LATCH for middle attachments - check your manual, it might be car to car difference.

red sky · 12-10-2012, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barnes

Forward or rear facing? You should be able to use the two inner most LATCH clips to get it in the middle. Get in there, get your knee in the seat, lean on it hard a pull the straps. It always seemed tougher to get tight in rear facing mode.

This. Kneel on that sucker and giver hell (the seat not the baby). I have a Mazda CX7 and there are no issues with the middle seat and it was a Peg Perego.

Table 5 · 12-10-2012, 10:09 PM

It's a rear-facing seat, and I've been kneeing on that thing like hell. I wish there was a way to tighten the belt at the car level (it's not going in as tight as I'd like).

I did look in the manual and it said that you can't use the Latch if it's in the middle.....even though I can make it happen. Not sure why it would be frowned upon, it seems like the more secure it is in there the better.

tete · 12-10-2012, 10:15 PM

I suspect it's because they are supposed to be used with the attachment latching in straight, not at an angle like it would be if you did it in the middle. As I said before, I felt confident putting it onto the passenger side, so I didn't give any further thought to the middle seat.

tvp2003 · 12-10-2012, 10:28 PM

Found this article, which might be of assistance: http://www.thecarseatlady.com/vehicl...system_10.html No idea if the information is accurate, but it makes sense.

We personally used the "middle" latch even though we probably weren't supposed to. It felt snug to me -- no worse than if we used the seatbelt instead of the latch. Not that I'm condoning doing something unsafe, but I found that as a (new) parent you have to make judgment calls and do what you think is right because things don't always go "by the book". Was I taking a risk? Maybe. Did I get arrested for it? Nope. </my two cents>

Rathji · 12-10-2012, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Table 5

It's a rear-facing seat, and I've been kneeing on that thing like hell. I wish there was a way to tighten the belt at the car level (it's not going in as tight as I'd like).

I did look in the manual and it said that you can't use the Latch if it's in the middle.....even though I can make it happen. Not sure why it would be frowned upon, it seems like the more secure it is in there the better.

One note, rear facing ones, you should always ensure that there is ZERO contact between the top of the car seat and any other obstruction, typically the back of the either of the front seats. If there is contact , it hinders the correct function of the seat during a collision, which is to clamshell against the rear seat.

Also, just to clarify, it isn't just frowned upon, it is illegal and IMHO probably compromising safety more than putting the seat on either side.