Is your wife, girlfriend or partner ALWAYS exhausted???

[chemgear]

Originally Posted by Wormius

I don’t think having somebody come by once every few weeks precludes everyone in the household from still having to clean up after themselves. It’s not like you’re leaving dishes out until the maid comes, or leaving some juice that spilled on the counter for 3 weeks.

Anyway, at the hotels we tend to stay at, staff come in while we’re not there to clean. I have never felt concerned about something going missing. Maybe you can start there until you build up the confidence to have someone in the house. Haven’t you had plumbers or anyone in your house doing work? You don’t hover over them do you? They could also be stealing your stuff.

Haha, what is with your personal attacks and issues with my posts?

The few times we've had a repair guy it's been a great learning experience chatting with the person and watching them do the repair.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by chemgear

I wonder how much it affect kids and young people, that they don't value being able to clean up after themselves or be responsible for simple chores. Or just unable to into adulthood.

I do wonder what someone who has never had to clean their homes will do if they move in with a roommate or partner at age 26. Will their parents pay for cleaning in their new home?

Seems like one of those pretty fundamental life skills - like preparing their own meals - that you’d want your kids to learn.

[Sliver]

Well, maybe if our 2x/month housecleaners lived with us as maids my kids wouldn't be learning anything, but you're crazy if you think you don't have to clean between those cleanings.

Plus, our cleaners are just a couple from out of country. They're currently on vacation back home for six weeks so we'll clean while they're away. They go away once a year on these big trips. My kids definitely know how to clean and we have high expectations for how they care for the house.

Cleaners don't mean you don't know how to clean. The opposite is likely true in many cases. If you have cleaners you value a clean house. And you can't let things build up for two weeks without touching anything if you want to be clean.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

I do wonder what someone who has never had to clean their homes will do if they move in with a roommate or partner at age 26. Will their parents pay for cleaning in their new home?

Seems like one of those pretty fundamental life skills - like preparing their own meals - that you’d want your kids to learn.

Well my wife was pretty much useless when we got together (she admits this). She didn't do laundry or anything around the house for her, so she had to learn all that. Now, we have a cleaner, but the kids have a list of chores and the cleaner doesn't do things for them (only for my wife and I).

Honestly, I resisted the cleaner for years because I think it's unnecessary and lazy. But I also do like coming home to a perfectly clean house, and I can't deny that.

[chemgear]

I think having things like cleaners is probably a blindspot in my life as it was never something we had growing up. Kinda like having a nanny (full time or part time) raising/taking care of your kids.

It was never part of anything I experienced personally or any of my friends growing up.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by chemgear

Haha, what is with your personal attacks and issues with my posts?

The few times we've had a repair guy it's been a great learning experience chatting with the person and watching them do the repair.

Okay, I may have added some unnecessary snark there, but your post came off kind of paranoid and also that if you used a cleaning service somehow people would just let everything completely go and never do basic tidying up.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

I do wonder what someone who has never had to clean their homes will do if they move in with a roommate or partner at age 26. Will their parents pay for cleaning in their new home?

Seems like one of those pretty fundamental life skills - like preparing their own meals - that you’d want your kids to learn.

When my dad's wife went to stay with her daughter in Ontario she spent the week cleaning. Apparently she wouldn't even use the bathroom before cleaning it, as none of them(4 ladies) had done it since they moved in 2 months earlier. So ya, don't send your kid off to life like that, because it is clearly happening.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by chemgear

I think having things like cleaners is probably a blindspot in my life as it was never an experience growing up. Kinda like having a nanny (full time or part time) raising/taking care of your kids.

It was never part of anything I experienced growing up.

We definitely never had cleaners growing up, either. My mom operated our house like it was a museum or as though she was expecting the queen to drop by at a moment's notice. Saturdays would be cleaning days and we'd be dusting each and every spindle on every single chair, baseboards, every nook and cranny, etc.

I way prefer my Saturdays now to the ones growing up. We do a fun thing: hike, walk, bike, snowboard, camp, whatever. I think the cleaners help to give us that flexibility and it's way more enriching to the kids' lives than being woken up to the sound of a vacuum cleaner at 8am.

The kids are part of the cleanings in between the cleaners' visits or when the cleaners are away. If somebody is coming over I send them off to clean their bathrooms and we all pitch in to make things look perfect.

[chemgear]

Originally Posted by Wormius

Okay, I may have added some unnecessary snark there, but your post came off kind of paranoid and also that if you used a cleaning service somehow people would just let everything completely go and never do basic tidying up.

Ah I don't mean to sound paranoid about strangers in the house. But I do think that it being strange or uncomfortable to me is likely a product of ignorance (never really having cleaners in the past). Maybe it is a thing that "once you go that way, you never go back".

I certainly get the potential enjoyment of trading the payment for the increase in free time and cleanliness. Maybe something to try out in retirement.

[topfiverecords]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

The biggest issue with kids and cleaners is that children grow up not learning to do any of that themselves, and that's how you end up with useless 20-somthings recording Tic Toc videos on how to wipe a counter.


My brother and I had our own bathroom, and for as long as I can remember we were responsible for cleaning it. I've had to show room mates who grew up with cleaners how to actually do it. my step sisters(younger) had their mom do EVERYTHING for them, and it's clearly a disadvantage to them.


Don't make your children someone's future roommate problem! I'm not saying getting a cleaner is bad, but I think some parents end up overlooking this important part of raising a kid. And that's your lecture from a non-parent.

I save $360 a month by having my kid do two deep cleans a month.

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

The biggest issue with kids and cleaners is that children grow up not learning to do any of that themselves, and that's how you end up with useless 20-somthings recording Tic Toc videos on how to wipe a counter.


My brother and I had our own bathroom, and for as long as I can remember we were responsible for cleaning it. I've had to show room mates who grew up with cleaners how to actually do it. my step sisters(younger) had their mom do EVERYTHING for them, and it's clearly a disadvantage to them.


Don't make your children someone's future roommate problem! I'm not saying getting a cleaner is bad, but I think some parents end up overlooking this important part of raising a kid. And that's your lecture from a non-parent.

I assume a lot of the parents posting here have young kids, which is why they're so busy and can use the help of a cleaner.
Your toddler isn't' going to clean toilets; the danger of cleaning products alone is reason this isn't a thing. My son would drink the toiler cleaner

He does however have a mini Dyson, broom, duster and mop and loves to follow us around using those; so hopefully it's forming some early habits.

If you're describing slightly older kids or teenagers and I definitely agree by that age they better be helping with cleaning, especially after themselves.
Seeing young adults move out for the first time and not knowing how to do laundry or clean their bathrooms is gross.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

The biggest issue with kids and cleaners is that children grow up not learning to do any of that themselves, and that's how you end up with useless 20-somthings recording Tic Toc videos on how to wipe a counter.


My brother and I had our own bathroom, and for as long as I can remember we were responsible for cleaning it. I've had to show room mates who grew up with cleaners how to actually do it. my step sisters(younger) had their mom do EVERYTHING for them, and it's clearly a disadvantage to them.


Don't make your children someone's future roommate problem! I'm not saying getting a cleaner is bad, but I think some parents end up overlooking this important part of raising a kid. And that's your lecture from a non-parent.

You’re describing poor parenting. Not a side effect of having a cleaner.

[TorqueDog]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

I think it’s fascinating that people without cleaners think people with cleaners just don’t ever tidy up at all.

Yeah, I don't understand their thinking -- do they think the cleaner lives here? Or comes every day? Mine comes once a week for maybe two, two and a half hours at the most. If I didn't clean as I went about my day for the entire time she wasn't around, my place would be kind of dirty and she would need way more time to clean this place.

She just does a deeper clean than I do day-to-day.

[you&me]

I don't understand how, in a discussion about tiredness and there seeming to be general consensus that it's due to people having too much on their plate, the idea that having a cleaner is controversial.

I also have someone mow the lawn in the summer. Not tired. Coincidence? I think not...

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by Weitz

You’re describing poor parenting. Not a side effect of having a cleaner.

It was "good intentions" parenting. She thought she was doing best by them by taking care of everything else so they could do all the school, extra circular, sports...the things many parents do out of love. Cautionary tale, I guess...I wasn't posting it as evidence having a cleaner is necesarily bad. Sliver seems to have figured out the balance.

[DoubleF]

It's not just parenting. I've noticed people in their 20-40s range and 50s+ range suddenly brain drain/re-define and forget how to do things they'd done for decades at rapid rates. It's quite alarming to me. I'd parallel it to being like forgetting how to memorize basic like data phone numbers after inputting them into a phone, but real actual skills.

This isn't even adding into how alarming it is that I'm running into more and more fully grown adults aged 30-70+ who never learned certain "basic skills" because a parent or a spouse did it for them all their life. It's not so much that they didn't learn, but they literally didn't learn how to figure it out either.

It's like the amplification of "Common sense ain't so common anymore" and almost like a "Societal Alzheimer's" or something. It does worry me because this brain drain is almost like a weird learned helplessness that we criticize certain kids for. However, I'm seeing people aged 50+ who suddenly have learned helplessness for the most basic things they'd been doing for decades.

Like... wtf is going on and why is this brain drain/####ed up logic happening?

Goldfish memory is also going through the roof and in some instances, people are basically re-defining certain things, but re-defining them with blank entries or making up weird scenarios. It's really weird.

TBH, I think a part of this is that people are terrified of making mistakes now. People used to say "Live and learn". Now people absolutely refuse to do things unless they're somewhat guaranteed success.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

When my dad's wife went to stay with her daughter in Ontario she spent the week cleaning. Apparently she wouldn't even use the bathroom before cleaning it, as none of them(4 ladies) had done it since they moved in 2 months earlier. So ya, don't send your kid off to life like that, because it is clearly happening.

I had that worthless roommate. 25, had never vacuumed, washed dishes, done laundry or any kind of cleaning. I walked into the bathroom that was his responsibility to clean and almost threw up. My kids have been doing their laundry forever. Oldest one cleans the bathroom, youngest is on dishes. Always have them involved in the process.

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by habernac

I had that worthless roommate. 25, had never vacuumed, washed dishes, done laundry or any kind of cleaning.

I had to teach my 3 college dorm-mates how to do laundry. They'd never done a load in their life. When word got out that I knew how, I had 6 other guys ask me for a 'a reminder' on how to do something they'd clearly never been taught.

I am so thankful (now...) that I had chores and was taught the basics of household maintenance when I was young.

[fotze2]

I am thinking about a cleaner and it will 100% be due to lazy. We have had a few in the past and it seems like you are just paying money to have an eastern European lady walk around your house when you are not there. (Does saying Eastern European instead of filipino make me less racist? I think it does, so I'll keep it).

What is a reasonable cost to expect? $40/hour. Just me living there. Vaccuum, mop floors and dust. I can do the #####ter.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by WhiteTiger

I had to teach my 3 college dorm-mates how to do laundry. They'd never done a load in their life. When word got out that I knew how, I had 6 other guys ask me for a 'a reminder' on how to do something they'd clearly never been taught.

I am so thankful (now...) that I had chores and was taught the basics of household maintenance when I was young.

I honestly don’t know why parents think they’re doing kids a favour by never teaching them to do basic stuff like cleaning, cooking, and laundry.