Friends who care...

[suegate]

Does anyone think it's possible to have attractive, even good-looking friends of the opposite sex who are interrested in all the same things, have the exact same love and passion for something like sports and yet remain friends without crossing any lines?

[J pold]

Shades of the Prezs thread…

Sounds like you are in the “friend zone” or you want someone to stay in the “friend zone”

If you girl, than yes its fine to have all those things without crossing any lines, you don’t owe guys anything, but you probably should let him know that being friend is your intention

If you’re a guy and you don’t want that type of girl to cross than line than well I can’t help yeah

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by suegate

Does anyone think it's possible to have attractive, even good-looking friends of the opposite sex who are interrested in all the same things, have the exact same love and passion for something like sports and yet remain friends without crossing any lines?

No, I don't believe that you can be friends with girls that you describe as attractive, have the same interests and passions.

The fact that you use the words attractive, good looking, passion and love in your question is a trouble spot.

All it takes is that one drunken evening after a hockey game when you think that she's going to reciprocate that clumsy move that your going to make, and she burns you down to your shoe laces and your friendship becomes an occassional phonecall, then a once every 6 month email.

The myth of jumping from the friendzone to the sexzone happens once in a blue moon. For the most part your doomed to a life of her whining to you about her jerk boyfriend who spends all of her money and treats her like crap and then dosen't take your advice, but uses you as a shoulder for that monkey thats on your back.

Get hooked on heroin or go dancing in a minefield, its easier then being stuck in the friends zone.

[JiriHrdina]

Sure it is, but not if you have any desires whatsoever for it to be more than that. If there is even an ounce of desire - you're screwed. But it is possible for two people of opposite sex not to be attracted to each other at all.

[suegate]

Originally Posted by J pold

Shades of the Prezs thread…

Sounds like you are in the “friend zone” or you want someone to stay in the “friend zone”

If you girl, than yes its fine to have all those things without crossing any lines, you don’t owe guys anything, but you probably should let him know that being friend is your intention

If you’re a guy and you don’t want that type of girl to cross than line than well I can’t help yeah

True...we may not "owe" guys anything, but some guys find it hard to believe that girls love sports too! I love the last comment, though..I wish most guys felt that way! Hehe

[suegate]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

Sure it is, but not if you have any desires whatsoever for it to be more than that. If there is even an ounce of desire - you're screwed. But it is possible for two people of opposite sex not to be attracted to each other at all.

Are those people friends??

[calf]

Impossible.

www.laddertheory.com

[BlackArcher101]

If I found a girl like you describe suegate, I don't think there would be a way to stay friends. I would want more, it's just the way I am.

[suegate]

Originally Posted by calf

Impossible.

www.laddertheory.com

Sad...but probably true. But what to do??

[Biff]

See the movie "When Harry met Sally".

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

[JiriHrdina]

Originally Posted by suegate

Are those people friends??

Well I wasn't thinking of anyone specifically but sure.

[suegate]

Originally Posted by Biff

See the movie "When Harry met Sally".

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

HA!!! This is very funny, thanks for helping me open-mouth laugh!!! Very true...very classic and F****ng hilarious.

[J pold]

So let me just try and clarify your situation, you are girl and you think you have all the attributes that should make a guy friend of yours become more than friend with you but he doesn’t go for it any your confused as to why?

[Biff]

Originally Posted by suegate

HA!!! This is very funny, thanks for helping me open-mouth laugh!!! Very true...very classic and F****ng hilarious.

Billy Crystal was Harry. Meg Ryan was Sally. Pretty good movie.

[BlackArcher101]

Originally Posted by J pold

So let me just try and clarify your situation, you are girl and you think you have all the attributes that should make a guy friend of yours become more than friend with you but he doesn’t go for it any your confused as to why?

Or she's a girl who has those above qualities/attributes, but is getting tired of all guys wanting more when all she wants are friends.
If your situation is correct though, then I'm going to say her friends' sexual orientation perhaps might be in question.

Either way, once either of the parties wants to make more of the relationship and the other doesn't agree.... it's over.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by BlackArcher101

Or she's a girl who has those above qualities/attributes, but is getting tired of all guys wanting more when all she wants are friends.

Well yeah that too

[suegate]

Originally Posted by J pold

So let me just try and clarify your situation, you are girl and you think you have all the attributes that should make a guy friend of yours become more than friend with you but he doesn’t go for it any your confused as to why?

No, not confused, just hoping that we could be friends after realizing that we were attracted to each other but know we can't be together. I want to know if it works for other people.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by suegate

No, not confused, just hoping that we could be friends after realizing that we were attracted to each other but know we can't be together. I want to know if it works for other people.

Ok why can’t you be together?

[BlackArcher101]

Originally Posted by suegate

No, not confused, just hoping that we could be friends after realizing that we were attracted to each other but know we can't be together. I want to know if it works for other people.

Wait, both of you readily admit you are attracted to each other, but for one or more reasons you can't go further with it?

If so, I've been in that situation twice now... doesn't feel good, get's awkward, and staying friends... probably not going to happen.

[JiriHrdina]

Originally Posted by suegate

No, not confused, just hoping that we could be friends after realizing that we were attracted to each other but know we can't be together. I want to know if it works for other people.

Well in that case I'd say no - not possible. Recipie for emotional disaster.