Rate your current mental health level out of 10

[missdpuck]

Originally Posted by Hydrotherapy

If EMDR doesn’t work or you are too disregulated to do it, ask your therapist if they do ART. Similar but different.
I’ve done EMDR, ART, CBT, IFS. I also have done psychedelics on my own for some microdosing and it is helpful if you have a positive plan in place for that day.
I won’t get into specifics of my mental health but in the past 3 years I waffle between -1 and a 4/5.

ART sounds very promising.

For the past 2 years I’ve been dealing with agoraphobia. Being able to work from home and get everything delivered definitely enables it.

It started with me just not feeling “safe” around my yard (due to things that actually happened here and at previous residences, so it’s not some irrational paranoid delusion) but now it’s really off the wall. I’ve read van der Kolk’s book; I guess my mind and body just got to a tipping point and is at the “if one more thing happens I’m going to freak out” point. Maybe it’s a form of self-protection.

Well, there’s a lot more going on with that but it’s not healthy to keep relying on friends to drag me out and of the house like some invalid.

I’ve never allowed myself to feel angry; I think IFS would help with that because always being subservient to my Trump-like mother (and repeating that in my female friendships) has destroyed me.

[KelVarnsen]

0.

My best friend died yesterday. I’m a wreck.

[GullFoss]

Originally Posted by KelVarnsen

0.

My best friend died yesterday. I’m a wreck.

Sorry to hear this bro.

Kind of lame advice, but just sit with the love you have for them and pray for their soul. Promise yourself to carry the best of them with you everyday and the love you had for each other never really dies.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by KelVarnsen

0.

My best friend died yesterday. I’m a wreck.

I have zero advice. But I do feel for ya if that matters in the least. Damn. Friends dying is way worse than parents dying for some reason.

[blankall]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I have zero advice. But I do feel for ya if that matters in the least. Damn. Friends dying is way worse than parents dying for some reason.

We've all kind of accepted, that if you live a long life, your parents will die at some point. You expect your best friends to be there your whole life though. Always seems sudden and unfair when one goes.

A former roommate of mine took his own life about a decade ago, after his own mother, who was the only person he was really close with, passed. I still kick myself thinking that if I'd checked in at the right time, even though we lived on opposite sides of the country, things could've been different. On my way

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by blankall

We've all kind of accepted, that if you live a long life, your parents will die at some point. You expect your best friends to be there your whole life though. Always seems sudden and unfair when one goes.

A former roommate of mine took his own life about a decade ago, after his own mother, who was the only person he was really close with, passed. I still kick myself thinking that if I'd checked in at the right time, even though we lived on opposite sides of the country, things could've been different. On my way

That will never go away. My mom apparently got knocked up long before me and moved to ontario yo give up the kid for adoption. When I was about 30 my mom told me about it and we had one of those Dr. Phil reunions. He was a much larger version of me. Roger Reinsons dad made him.

Anyway he would phone to chat way too much and was very religious. I don’t want to talk about Jesus sorry. He ended up hanging himself in his kitchen for his wife and three kids to find him. I certainly don’t feel good about that.

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

Originally Posted by KelVarnsen

0.

My best friend died yesterday. I’m a wreck.

Sorry to hear that. Thats a big #### bomb to fall on ones life.

Express yourself and let the hard emotions be felt and run their course. Its okay to let it out. This isnt something to push down.

Remember that they would want you to live fully in their honor and make the best out of the time you have left here. You'll be reunited again.

[Hydrotherapy]

Crap! I forgot about DBT. I’ve done a few rounds of the regular “course” but I was told that this version may be a bit more easily understood? Here’s a free copy of a pdf with a workbook. You should be able to find other versions for free as well.
https://www.scribd.com/document/7118...onny-Jane-Wise
It covers emotional regulation as well. And also gives you grace for the times when you just can’t regulate and have to surf it out and just ride the wave until it’s over. It gives you lots of tools. I personally like the acronyms as well.
Feel free to pm me if you want to chat more

[missdpuck]

Originally Posted by fotze2

That will never go away. My mom apparently got knocked up long before me and moved to ontario yo give up the kid for adoption. When I was about 30 my mom told me about it and we had one of those Dr. Phil reunions. He was a much larger version of me. Roger Reinsons dad made him.

Anyway he would phone to chat way too much and was very religious. I don’t want to talk about Jesus sorry. He ended up hanging himself in his kitchen for his wife and three kids to find him. I certainly don’t feel good about that.

When my brother was 17 (I was 23) he tried to kill himself with a Tylenol overdose.

At the time I was in a very unhealthy dating relationship. Late one night I got a phone call (this was so long ago there was no caller ID on that phone, it was just an old analog phone) but there was no one on the line. I just blamed it on the guy I was dating and hung up.

Around 2am I got another call but just hung up without listening or speaking. It happened again.

I then turned the ringer off.

There was a message waiting for me when I got to work at 7 that morning. Please call your dad.

The calls I ignored were from my brother. He wanted to tell me what he had done.

Fortunately, he still lived with my dad and his wife so they checked on him when he didn’t wake up at his usual time.

Tylenol overdoses were a new thing back then, and there was no specific, reliable antidote. Coincidentally, a doctor at a nearby hospital had developed an experimental antidote, as his son had died from a Tylenol overdose.

After a very painful week in the hospital my brother made it.

I still feel guilty all these years later. It’s so hard to get past the “what if’s.”

Our mother is such a heartless creep that she only went to the hospital once or not at all..not sure. She said his suicide attempt was “his problem.” My father, his wife and I were there every day.

My brother and I have not spoken in years, yet he remains close to my mother and her husband for some reason.

Sorry for all of our losses; it’s a sad club to be in.

[missdpuck]

Originally Posted by KelVarnsen

0.

My best friend died yesterday. I’m a wreck.

Never know what to say. This sucks. There’s nothing I can say that someone already hasn’t.

Take care of yourself.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I have zero advice. But I do feel for ya if that matters in the least. Damn. Friends dying is way worse than parents dying for some reason.

Not for me. Dad’s death anniversary was a few days ago. 2 years, I’m still broken.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by KelVarnsen

0.

My best friend died yesterday. I’m a wreck.

I’m sorry Kel. Hang in there, man.

[Puppet Guy]

Originally Posted by KelVarnsen

0.

My best friend died yesterday. I’m a wreck.

Really sad to hear.

My best friend died ten years ago, and unfortunately that hurt doesn't go away. Don't be afraid to grieve (I pushed it down and it didn't help), and try to find a way to honour him in a meaningful and unique way when you're ready.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by habernac

Not for me. Dad’s death anniversary was a few days ago. 2 years, I’m still broken.

I was broke before it so it was purely additive. Fata, home care worker phoning me with random number at 8 am and saying “he not breathing “ over and over.

The younger guys ones seem to stick more. Sorry habs.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I was broke before it so it was purely additive. Fata, home care worker phoning me with random number at 8 am and saying “he not breathing “ over and over.

The younger guys ones seem to stick more. Sorry habs.

I dont know about that, but...my experiences with my Dad dying and my Grandparents? I was more just glad the long suffering was over.

I remember rushing my Dad to the Hospital, getting in ER, getting the Diagnosis that he was going to die but it was going to take some time, he was going to die but they estimated it'd be a few weeks, so they were going to get him a room so..."why dont you go home, get some rest and something to eat" because we rushed him there in the middle of the night.

So I did. I went home and the moment I stepped out of the shower my phone goes off and its the Hospital:

"This is happening and its happening right now!"

I was the first member of my family to make it back to the Hospital. Just in time for his last breath.

I was thankful. He'd have hated just lying in the Hospital waiting to die.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by habernac

Not for me. Dad’s death anniversary was a few days ago. 2 years, I’m still broken.

My mothers death was 3 years ago and I still miss her.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Locke

I dont know about that, but...my experiences with my Dad dying and my Grandparents? I was more just glad the long suffering was over.

I remember rushing my Dad to the Hospital, getting in ER, getting the Diagnosis that he was going to die but it was going to take some time, he was going to die but they estimated it'd be a few weeks, so they were going to get him a room so..."why dont you go home, get some rest and something to eat" because we rushed him there in the middle of the night.

So I did. I went home and the moment I stepped out of the shower my phone goes off and its the Hospital:

"This is happening and its happening right now!"

I was the first member of my family to make it back to the Hospital. Just in time for his last breath.

I was thankful. He'd have hated just lying in the Hospital waiting to die.

I had a different experience with my Dad. He was in a coma and we all told him it was okay for him to let go. He waited until my mother, my brother and myself went to grab a bite to eat. While at a restaurant we get a call from a nurse saying he passed. Since that time, I have read books from medical professionals that say that patients often don't die when family is around as they sense conflict in the room.