Why don't we just exterminate all bears?

[blender]

It's weird. I've had several close grizzly encounters deep in the backcountry, and several of them I was not following good protocols, and came out fine each time.
And I was SCARED each time, like pure fight or flight; but I'll go to the backcountry anytime without bear spray.
Big respect for the griz though. My favorite animal for sure. I treasure the memories of the up-close encounters.

[Samonadreau]

Came for trapped with a man or a bear jokes. Leaving disappointed.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Samonadreau

Came for trapped with a man or a bear jokes. Leaving disappointed.

You want to get mobbed by feminists? Because thats how you get mobbed by feminists.

Its not as fun as it sounds.

[topfiverecords]

Originally Posted by Locke

You want to get mobbed by feminists? Because thats how you get mobbed by feminists.

Its not as fun as it sounds.

Getting mauled by a cougar is still better than mauled by a bear.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

I'm a sucker for telling Sliver to stay out of Canmore. He hates that.

Silver just wants to use this on the OG Canmorians. Accidentally on purpose, of course.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

Getting mauled by a cougar is still better than mauled by a bear.

Are we talking about animals still?

[Old Yeller]

The "giant chunk" of Banff being closed still has me laughing.

[powderjunkie]

50 humans or one Griz?

Somehow I think 50 humans might manage against a Griz, but not a Gorilla (many will die either way). But I'd take a Griz over the Gorilla for sure.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by powderjunkie

50 humans or one Griz?

Somehow I think 50 humans might manage against a Griz, but not a Gorilla (many will die either way). But I'd take a Griz over the Gorilla for sure.

For sure. Gorillas get a bad rap in pop culture as being hyper aggressive monsters. They evolved to use intimidation so well that they rarely ever have to actually fight, most other animals just get the hell out of their way. Plus, they aren't predatory animals, so they don't necessarily go looking for trouble. They are occasionally prey to leopards, so I don't think one would do well against a grizzly either.

Chimps on the other hand are complete psychos. I think I'd be more afraid of a chimp than a gorilla.

[Barnet Flame]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

I think of all the times I've wandered around Canmore growing up, you know, 10 year old going in the woods, walking home from friends places taking short cuts through forests and meadows, frog hunting in the Larch marshes, late night runs, and not once did a bear ever attack me or any other kid who has ever grown up in Canmore and done the same. Not one of us ever had bear spray or a murder stick.


I've seen many bears around, including in my back yard. I've run into them biking, hiking, playing disc golf, driving, walking, eating wild strawberries. I still go for night walks almost every night I'm there along the river. I'm not so afraid I need 10 different types of protection because I've actually been educated about them, and grew up with them. So when I see the ridiculous list of things you need to feel safe, it kinda feels like the best thing for everyone involved is for you to stay out of bear country before someone or something gets hurt. You are more a hazard to yourself and everyone around you than a bear would ever be.


And yes, it's funny to imagine you with all your bear gear walking to the Grizzly Paw at 8pm with your head on a swivel. I can't imagine how you can even find any joy out there will all the fear endlessly dripping into your eyes.

Brilliant post. I wonder if people apply the same sense of proportionality to other activities in their otherwise mundane lives. Things like dying while driving to a trailhead, slipping in a shower or choking on food, all of which are more likely to happen than dying from a bear attack.

[Cali Panthers Fan]

This thread is funny. You're far more likely to die from a mosquito bite as a disease vector than you ever would from a bear.

People really need to take some time to understand statistical data and concepts like relative risk.

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

For sure. Gorillas get a bad rap in pop culture as being hyper aggressive monsters. They evolved to use intimidation so well that they rarely ever have to actually fight, most other animals just get the hell out of their way. Plus, they aren't predatory animals, so they don't necessarily go looking for trouble. They are occasionally prey to leopards, so I don't think one would do well against a grizzly either.

Chimps on the other hand are complete psychos. I think I'd be more afraid of a chimp than a gorilla.

Scariest animal on the planet.

[Drak]

Yep. A chimp will rip your junk off with one hand as one of its attack moves.

[Johnny Makarov]

Originally Posted by Drak

Yep. A chimp will rip your junk off with one hand as one of its attack moves.

Why are you exposing your junk to a chimp you sicko!???

[undercoverbrother]

Meh

7.3 out of 10

Might read again when pooping

[belsarius]

Originally Posted by Johnny Makarov

Why are you exposing your junk to a chimp you sicko!???

How else do you establish dominance?

[Johnny Makarov]

Originally Posted by belsarius

How else do you establish dominance?

By having your dick ripped off by a monkey? hahaha

[CliffFletcher]

I don’t share Sliver’s fear of bears, but I do have an irrational dread of sharks. To the point where I won’t go in above my thighs in water where sharks habitate.

We share a terrestrial nature with bears, and you can typically see or hear them far enough away to react and move away. With sharks, we’re in their natural element, not ours, and you don’t see them until they’re biting your leg off. Also, they’re freaky and primordial.

[Russic]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I'm sure AI could take care of that. (false positives)

While it's true that if death is our primary concern, we should probably be more afraid of butter than bears... what the hell, I'll bite.

If we looked at this as a legitimate business opportunity to skim money off people who are bad at stats, it isn't a crazy idea. People spend money on copper bracelets to pull bad vibes out of their wrists, so I'm sure they'd buy a bear deterrent. Bonus: because of the stats, you'll be able to gloat about your insane success rates (kinda like Lisa's Tiger Repelling Rock).

Using AI to tackle this problem isn't even a bad idea, we just need to iron out some kinks. What we need is essentially the "Not a Hotdog" app, but for bears. All you'd need is basically a motion activated trail camera that analyzes the image to see if it's a bear or squirrel. If squirrel = do nothing; If bear = explode.

Your issues will be the current state of local AI. Without reliable and fast internet, the computation will have to happen on-device, so you're essentially carting some NVIDIA-powered gaming PC into the woods every single time. And powering it. And keeping it dry. And keeping raccoons from using it to play Call of Duty.

ChatGPT ran some numbers and it seems confident your base cost just to make this thing would be somewhere in the ballpark of $800USD. You could go cheaper, but it'll go off all night and your fellow campers will kill you long before the bears do.

Factoring in marketing, packaging, and other variables, your consumer price is probably creeping towards $3000USD. We've already established your target consumer is bad at math, so maybe this is ok?

I don't understand why you need a zoo. From the sounds of it, you live at Grizzly Ground Zero, so just test it in your driveway.

Which leads me to a further thought: I don't think your target audience is campers as much as it's municipalities and campground operators. In a very strange and un-Sliver sort of way, you're not going far enough. False positives matter a lot less 1km outside the town limits. You're essentially creating a shark net on the beach instead of arming everybody with personal shark deterring <thing that hasn't been invented yet>.

[Drak]

Originally Posted by Johnny Makarov

Why are you exposing your junk to a chimp you sicko!???

Has nothing to do with exposing yourself, dude. They know where to strike and will rip you to shreds right through your pants. Either that or you’re getting your face chewed off.