Rate your current mental health level out of 10

[PepsiFree]

Dick pics are for the fellas.

[DownInFlames]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

Who hasn't been involved in Dick Tricks.

The Wristwatch

Hot Cross Bun

Giving Birth

The Batwing

and many more

It starts with jokes and can escalate to assault. Keep your junk to yourself.

[Monahammer]

There is a level of internal expectations management that's possible though, fuzz.

I think it's pretty obvious that you can't just "not worry" about stage 4 cancer. But, there are expectation management exercises you can do with yourself to help not fall into a depressive spiral about your disease. It's about reframing your expectations and thus your mood to encompass things you can directly control, and try to let go of the things that are outside of your control.

for example, a person with cancer can set their own expectations on a sucessful day as: - I ate healthy meals that were within the diet plan I have established with my dietician
- I reached my daily activity goals today
- I went to my chemo appointment and got through without tears

rather than:
- I no longer have cancer!

I don't disagree that simply "not worrying" is vastly underselling a problem when it comes to depression, but we shouldn't get overly dogmatic about the concept of letting go of some worry- ultimately that's the goal of many anti-anxiety exercises!

[Monahammer]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

Who hasn't been involved in Dick Tricks.

The Wristwatch

Hot Cross Bun

Giving Birth

The Batwing

and many more

I was always partial to "dead squirrel on a trampoline"

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

Who hasn't been involved in Dick Tricks.

The Wristwatch

Hot Cross Bun

Giving Birth

The Batwing

and many more

PM Scent!

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by Monahammer

There is a level of internal expectations management that's possible though, fuzz.

I think it's pretty obvious that you can't just "not worry" about stage 4 cancer. But, there are expectation management exercises you can do with yourself to help not fall into a depressive spiral about your disease. It's about reframing your expectations and thus your mood to encompass things you can directly control, and try to let go of the things that are outside of your control.

for example, a person with cancer can set their own expectations on a sucessful day as: - I ate healthy meals that were within the diet plan I have established with my dietician
- I reached my daily activity goals today
- I went to my chemo appointment and got through without tears

rather than:
- I no longer have cancer!

I don't disagree that simply "not worrying" is vastly underselling a problem when it comes to depression, but we shouldn't get overly dogmatic about the concept of letting go of some worry- ultimately that's the goal of many anti-anxiety exercises!

That's different than "don't worry" though. That's an actual technique.

[Duruss]

Originally Posted by Jason14h

I really want to know why your male friends are sending you dick pics.

He wanted to sleep with me, I said no which hurt his ego.

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by fotze2

PM Scent!

What do PMs smell like? (I don’t mean Trudeau.)

[Paulie Walnuts]

Does the weather impact anyone?

[photon]

Generally no, or at least not downwards. I can definitely feel a bit of a boost on a beautiful spring or fall day (or a nice thunderstorm), but if it's drizzling or dreary it generally doesn't impact me. I think I'd survive ok in Vancouver.

[Paulie Walnuts]

I feel like the boost is big for me, you can be feeling great but waking up to the sun, blue skies just adds that extra but of energy. Seeing the treeing being full. The long days.

Now the thought of bare twigs and snow ugh. As soon as November hits I swear I just look forward to Christmas and the March time change.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

Which may work well if you are only dealing with mental struggles. But if your mental struggles are driven by larger issues that can't just be good-thought away, dismissing concerns about how you will pay for medications or food, or housing driven by, say, health struggles isn't really helpful.

Here's a good article on why dismissing real concerns is not helpful and I think this quote from Elizabeth Seng, Associate Professor of Psychology at Yeshiva University captures it well. The article is about catastrophizing, which is I think an extreme form of worrying.


https://mecfsskeptic.com/catastrophi...itch-the-term/

So if you worry about how real issues are going to affect you the rest of your life, I don't think "just stop worrying" is much of a solution. I mean, I guess ignorance is bliss? But if your daily reminder is constant pain, it's not really a technique that is going to be helpful for long.

I think this thread is about sharing personal struggles and sharing personal tools that have worked. So when someone says that reframing the scope of the anxiety works for them I don’t think it’s productive to diminish that as a tool. It may not work for others, it might be just the comment that gives someone an aha moment. So I think approaching comments in a generous and positive manner as opposed to dismissive makes this thread better.

I completely agree with the content of your post here that some issues are very real and can’t be fixed through improved mental health techniques. Many issues can be improved with better framing.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by Paulie Walnuts

Does the weather impact anyone?

I definitely notice lack of light in the winter. Generally more fatigued and needing more sleep. Tougher to get up. I played around with SAD lights and they didn’t do much for me. On sunny winter days walking outside at Lunch helps though.

[Cali Panthers Fan]

Originally Posted by Buff

Sometimes things a re good for a few weeks and sometimes my mom's behavior is toxic towards me. How do you cut a toxic person out of your life when they are your mother who is old and you're the only person in the world who can provide care for her?

Hoooo boy....do I ever resonate with this.

We put the ball in her court. We asked her what would make her happy. Whatever it is, living situation etc., we would do it.

She offered her own solution and we agreed. She now lives on the other side of the country without us anywhere near her. It was her idea. I wasn't crazy about it, but it just wasn't working here anymore.

She seems happy now, and we're much happier. We chat now and then and that's about it. She's still my mom, but now she's at arm's length and not directly involved in our lives anymore.

Best decision I ever made.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by GGG

I think this thread is about sharing personal struggles and sharing personal tools that have worked. So when someone says that reframing the scope of the anxiety works for them I don’t think it’s productive to diminish that as a tool. It may not work for others, it might be just the comment that gives someone an aha moment. So I think approaching comments in a generous and positive manner as opposed to dismissive makes this thread better.

I completely agree with the content of your post here that some issues are very real and can’t be fixed through improved mental health techniques. Many issues can be improved with better framing.

Fair enough, not helpful. I'll try to be better.

I see it as a bit more nuanced. Worrying is actually a way our mind motivates us to solve problems. You worry about how you will make a life for yourself, so you go to school or start a career. You worry about forgetting the milk, so you make a reminder note. These are helpful, and worth processing the worry. You solve it, and it's gone. A successful result.

Contrarily, don't worry that you spilled dinner on your new shirt. Things happen. In a year, that worry means nothing.

So "stop worrying" may actually do you a dis-service. Many of our mental pathways exist for good reasons, it's only when they exceed those bounds that it becomes a problem. "Stop worrying about the little things" may be more helpful. Analyzing the worry is a good way to really find out if you need to solve it or not. But it may be a real worry and ignoring it makes matters worse.

[Paulie Walnuts]

Originally Posted by GGG

I definitely notice lack of light in the winter. Generally more fatigued and needing more sleep. Tougher to get up. I played around with SAD lights and they didn’t do much for me. On sunny winter days walking outside at Lunch helps though.

I dread the short sunlight.

I try to get out for as many walks, and time spent in the sun during the spring/summer months. A lot harder to do in Winter with the ice.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by Paulie Walnuts

I dread the short sunlight.

I try to get out for as many walks, and time spent in the sun during the spring/summer months. A lot harder to do in Winter with the ice.

Get some of those ice gripper things you can attach to boots. Life saver in a freeze/thaw place like Calgary.

[habernac]

Life can be really ####ed. I’m working again and I enjoy it. But the pay blows and I don’t know if I can afford to do it for long.

[Buff]

Originally Posted by Cali Panthers Fan

Hoooo boy....do I ever resonate with this.

We put the ball in her court. We asked her what would make her happy. Whatever it is, living situation etc., we would do it.

She offered her own solution and we agreed. She now lives on the other side of the country without us anywhere near her. It was her idea. I wasn't crazy about it, but it just wasn't working here anymore.

She seems happy now, and we're much happier. We chat now and then and that's about it. She's still my mom, but now she's at arm's length and not directly involved in our lives anymore.

Best decision I ever made.

Well we're moving my mom to a different condo. One where her meals are provided and they clean her suite for her. I'm worried she isn't eating well enough and that's affecting her mood. She hates so much to cook anyway so not having to deal with that should be helpful for her.

Oh, could I write so much about her behaviour. I have tried to do so in this thread and just deleted what I was doing. It feels so incredulously far fetched that I don't want to seem like I'm seeking attention. That's what she's doing. I'm getting 5-10 calls per day from her lately and she's usually beside herself and usually because I'm not able to answer every single call. I'm getting a lot of gaslighting from her and it gets worse if I call her on it.

I'm jealous of you, but happy for you

I have asked her what she wants to be happy and she got mad at me for suggesting she isn't happy... wtf.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by habernac

Get some of those ice gripper things you can attach to boots. Life saver in a freeze/thaw place like Calgary.

Crampons, yeah. I got a pair of IceBugs a few years back because when I walk my dog at lunch in the hood, there are a lot of uncleared sidewalks and that little bastard is a tugger!

I've slipped and cracked my knees so many times....

Not once since I got those.