Marriage advice needed

[MoneyGuy]

No, my marriage is fine, thank you. I'm MCing a wedding in a few days and thought it would be good to do a top-10 marriage advice list. Things like: Don't go to bed angry. Keep the fires of passion stoked. Stuff like that. I thought I'd intersperse the 10 marriage tips throughout the evening.

Okay, CPers, what advice would you give a couple getting married?

[guzzy]

Originally Posted by MoneyGuy

No, my marriage is fine, thank you. I'm MCing a wedding in a few days and thought it would be good to do a top-10 marriage advice list. Things like: Don't go to bed angry. Keep the fires of passion stoked. Stuff like that. I thought I'd intersperse the 10 marriage tips throughout the evening.

Okay, CPers, what advice would you give a couple getting married?

DO go to bed angry - the sex is that much better in the morning.

[NSFL]

For women: if a guys asks you why you're mad, for the love of crap, tell him. Chances are he's not going to figure it out on his own. So just help him out, and he can 1) try to fix it or 2) try not to do it again.

[Prototype]

Ladies, if you're going to ask one of those complex questions, like "does my butt look fat in these jeans", provide diograms drawn in stickman form, and created with crayon. At least us men will be entertained while stuck in the death trap questions like that put us in.

[PYroMaNiaC]

"If at first you don't succeed, try doing it like your wife told you."

[Deelow]

Not to hi-jack...but I'm gonna MC one on Saturday too. How much time are you spending on "bits" such as this one? And where are you squeezing them in? I know the main job is to keep the show on the road. I am trying to figure out how much of this type I should do.

[stuck_in_chuk]

Sappy site full of sappy advice, but I'm sure you could pull 10 off of the list:

http://www.romancestuck.com/marriage-advice.htm

I always liked the truism: Men marry women expecting them not to change, but they do; women marry men expecting them to change, but they don't. Not sure if that would fit in the speech (or if it is wise to put in).

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by Deelow

Not to hi-jack...but I'm gonna MC one on Saturday too. How much time on you spending on "bits" such as this one? And where are you squeezing them in? I know the main job is to keep the show on the road. I am trying to figure out how much of this type I should do.

When I MC'ed Kdogg's wedding last summer I went for a longer bit to lead things off, then a short bit before each introduction for the most part.

[4X4]

Learn how to admit that you're wrong, even when you're right.

[Prototype]

Look at it like you're hosting the MTV Movie Awards... as the MC, you have some of that Best Man speech available... you can get away with a few digs. Have a not too short, not too long monolouge, and then have a joke to follow each speech. That will give you a good transition into the next speaker.

And always joke after the speaker. Don't give them time to respond at the mic after you dig into them. You'd be surprised what people can come up with after little time or thought.

[Juventus3]

I need to put this in here...

"The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers."
-Woody Allen

[Jayems]

I would make sure you know for sure what the bride and groom want about clanking of glasses. If they don't want it, you need to be a nazi about people not doing it... or they will anyway.

I absolutely can not STAND people clanking the glasses. Especially the drunks who hit the pub before the reception and do it every 5 minutes. But i've seen some Mc's lose control... maybe something to think about.


upon further review... this wasn't an MC advice thread..haha... anyway... carry on.

[Dion]

Here's some from Dave Barry:

If you're a man, and a woman asks you how she looks, you're in big trouble. Obviously, you can't say she looks bad. But you also can't say that she looks great, because she'll think you're lying, because she has spent countless hours, with the help of the multibillion-dollar beauty industry, obsessing about the differences between herself and Cindy Crawford. Also, she suspects that you're not qualified to judge anybody's appearance. This is because you have shaving cream in your hair.

[Hemi-Cuda]

if she ain't happy, you ain't happy

[RedHot25]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

"If at first you don't succeed, try doing it like your wife told you."

Haha. That's along what my wife tells me: "You're ideas are good, mine are just better".

[Cowperson]

If one of you can't compromise, you'll never get past the seven year itch.

Cowperson

[ken0042]

Confucious say: Man who fight with wife during the day- gets no piece at night.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by MoneyGuy

No, my marriage is fine, thank you. I'm MCing a wedding in a few days and thought it would be good to do a top-10 marriage advice list. Things like: Don't go to bed angry. Keep the fires of passion stoked. Stuff like that. I thought I'd intersperse the 10 marriage tips throughout the evening.

Okay, CPers, what advice would you give a couple getting married?

I'd keep it on the humorous side if I were you. Spouting cliches like "keep the fires of passion stoked" aren't going to get anyone excited about you talking. Try to keep it light and funny. You're the MC, not Frasier Crane.

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by Deelow

Not to hi-jack...but I'm gonna MC one on Saturday too. How much time are you spending on "bits" such as this one? And where are you squeezing them in? I know the main job is to keep the show on the road. I am trying to figure out how much of this type I should do.

Not a lot of time. I've done a lot of public speaking and it's about knowing your audience and why you're there. My audience is way different from yours and any other (mostly Spanish-speaking people whose command of English is limited) so I have to adjust. Plus, the B&G are kinda shy so I have to be careful. Good luck with yours.

[I_H8_Crawford]

For the groom:

You can be right, or you can be happy.

If you're clever, you'll always have the last word in any argument. If you're smart, you'll never use the last word.