How is everyone dealing with their finances in this economy?

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Lubicon

Everyone is different. For us it wasn't financial at all, it was the stress of high school and university that almost took things over the top. We're fortunate, both my kids excelled academically and never got into trouble socially but the stress still took a massive toll on all of us. Sounds like first world problems now that I read what I wrote but for us that was the experience.

What's hard about university? My daughter starts in September, so we haven't experienced that yet.

My recollection of my own university experience was it had zero impact whatsoever on my parents' lives. Like, none. They didn't help me with homework, picking classes, navigating friendships (I was an adult, after all). Like...nothing.

I'm trying to picture how their university lives could possibly impact me more than when I was joined at the hip with them for every little thing when they were young and I'm drawing a complete blank over here.

[albertGQ]

I've got two older (15 and 13) as well as two younger (8 and 4). The younger ones are more work but the older ones give me way more stress/grief

I enjoy coaching my kids sports so driving them to the activities does not bother me at all. I will be so bored when they all grow up and I have no kids sports to go to on weekends. LOL

[8sPOT]

I have a 14 year old son, and one of my best friends had his first kid last year. I cannot imagine having a baby at 40 years old. The amount of energy and time you need to commit for those first few years is never ending.

I might miss the cuteness and the newness of it all, but having a 14 year old kid to golf with, go to the movies with, go on snowboard trips with, is so much more fun and relaxing. Not to mention the sleep. Sleep became a precious commodity until he was about 4 years old and would sleep through the night without any issues.

Back to the finances topic, my son has friends whose parents aren't divorced and have two incomes. So they have bigger houses, newer cars, nicer clothes, fancier trips etc. And at times I can tell it bothers him a little. But he's actually picking up on things like me having an older car (but no payment), not really eating any fast food these days, fixing things that break, just trying to be smart with my money as that's a requirement when you have one income and have to pay child support.

I also have friends who have kids, and both parents work. But they work a lot. So they may be doing really well in the financials but they're getting burned out and a lot of family time is missed because of the various work requirements. I dont see those friends as much because work is their life.

Where as I may not have fancy stuff, and am usually having to fix something around the house. But I am genuinely happy and satisfied with where I am and how things are. Where I wonder for those who work 60 hour weeks and are on call etc, are they happy? Or are they just in a spot where thats the norm? I really dont know, but its not for me.

Guess it goes back to the old saying, do you work to live? Or live to work?

[SuperMatt18]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

The giant corporations make that harder and harder. What are you going to do, open a hardware store(for example)? You can't compete on inventory, because you won't get the deals HD or Rona get.

OK, so you create something unique, and your business is to sell it. Except now it's been copied and sold for 1/10th of what you can manage, 6 months after you got setup.

I don't think in this modern world small businesses have much of a chance. Sure, there are some industries that might find success, but it's not like it was in the past.

And then to top it off the stock market also encourages the greed of those giant corporations.

It's not enough to just make Billions of dollars annually, in order to grow "shareholder value" you need to grow the amount of money you make annually, so you have to increase prices and rates to facilitate that growth because once you're that large it's almost impossible to grow organically.

Really that's the biggest issue...Banks, Telecoms, Grocery conglomerates, etc...aren't raising prices because of increasing costs...they are increasting prices to meet the EBITDA growth targets needed to meet their investor targets and valuations.

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally Posted by 8sPOT

I have a 14 year old son, and one of my best friends had his first kid last year. I cannot imagine having a baby at 40 years old. The amount of energy and time you need to commit for those first few years is never ending.

It's interesting to see the age differences for kids of CP, when a lot of us are likely close in age ourselves.

I'm 40 and it's my son's 2nd birthday today. We might have another one too, and most of my peers are also starting families around 40.
I see people I went to highschool with who already have kids graduating highschool and it blows my mind what that life would have been like.

[8sPOT]

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

It's interesting to see the age differences for kids of CP, when a lot of us are likely close in age ourselves.

I'm 40 and it's my son's 2nd birthday today. We might have another one too, and most of my peers are also starting families around 40.
I see people I went to highschool with who already have kids graduating highschool and it blows my mind what that life would have been like.

I never really thought of that but yeah that is interesting for sure. I have friends who have teenaged kids like I do, and some who are just getting started.

I do see the appeal of being more secure and stable in life before having kids. But I also see the appeal of doing it when you're younger and full of piss and vinegar.

Happy Birthday to your kiddo!

[Lubicon]

Originally Posted by Sliver

What's hard about university? My daughter starts in September, so we haven't experienced that yet.

My recollection of my own university experience was it had zero impact whatsoever on my parents' lives. Like, none. They didn't help me with homework, picking classes, navigating friendships (I was an adult, after all). Like...nothing.

I'm trying to picture how their university lives could possibly impact me more than when I was joined at the hip with them for every little thing when they were young and I'm drawing a complete blank over here.

Every kid will be different.

In our case (my daughter) it was keeping her marks above the insanely high minimum average to get into the program she inadvertently was accepted into and then to stay in it the first two years again due to marks. Her marks were good, very good in fact. But there was zero room for error and it was stressful on her. Living at home so we saw everything she was going through and the stress transferred to everyone.

Once she was into 3rd year and actually taking courses she enjoyed it was a different story.

[you&me]

Confirmation bias, incoming...

We're relatively young parents (had my first at 28; wife at 26)... I suppose it's a reflection of the schools and activities we have the kids in, but we are far and away "the young parents" with our oldest. Even with our youngest, we're definitely still in the youngest quarter of the parental peer group.

I mean, there have been more than a few fiftieth birthday parties - and some are closing in quickly on 6-0 - among the older parent groups and I can't imagine having that much time left with school-aged children...

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Lubicon

Every kid will be different.

In our case (my daughter) it was keeping her marks above the insanely high minimum average to get into the program she inadvertently was accepted into and then to stay in it the first two years again due to marks. Her marks were good, very good in fact. But there was zero room for error and it was stressful on her. Living at home so we saw everything she was going through and the stress transferred to everyone.

Once she was into 3rd year and actually taking courses she enjoyed it was a different story.

Yeah, that would be tough.

We'll see what university holds for my kid.

The big thing I do that's maybe a bit unusual is encourage them to take the easiest stuff to get their piece of paper. Like, you want to take Physics 30 in grade 12? Why? It'll be hard when fricken Phys Ed is weighted the same to get into university. Always take the easiest route to get to your end goal. If there's an easy math and a hard math that both count the same for university entrance, take the easy math, obviously. It's crazy how well this approach is working for us.

I understand that is different in university if you have a defined end goal, but still, we just worked my daughter's schedule to take the easiest possible courses at the best possible times, so strategy does enter into it even if you have ambitious goals.

My wife went to "rate my prof" and made sure we picked all the easiest markers. Each morning allows a sleep in (her classes will start at 10 at the earliest). I think you need to be really strategic and hard work is not its own reward. Find a leisurely way to get that degree while the worker bees are working their sacks off.

I still think all those high-grade types are confounded at how people that are more fun to be around but cruised around with B- averages have surpassed them in the workforce. My gamble is my approach will put my kids further ahead in life than the people who are giving it 199%. I want them to do well in school, but even better in The Den 101ing. The successful people I see at 47 are the ones who know how to hang. Those who were all about the studying top out in their careers and cannot understand why.

Edit: OMG, I implied your kid was going to be unsuccessful for working hard and getting good grades haha. Sorry, dude. I know there are programs where that effort is required and there are so many successful people that need to work so hard to become the types that make the world a better place. The Sliver clan is much more mid than that, so we aim for mediocrity haha.

[iggy_oi]

Originally Posted by you&me

Confirmation bias, incoming...

We're relatively young parents (had my first at 28; wife at 26)... I suppose it's a reflection of the schools and activities we have the kids in, but we are far and away "the young parents" with our oldest. Even with our youngest, we're definitely still in the youngest quarter of the parental peer group.

I mean, there have been more than a few fiftieth birthday parties - and some are closing in quickly on 6-0 - among the older parent groups and I can't imagine having that much time left with school-aged children...

I had a similar experience, though I had my kids a few years earlier than you did. It always felt a little uncomfortable even though it felt as though the other parents considered us the young cool parents. (To which I would say they were only half right about)

I remember telling some of the parents who started having kids in their mid 40s that I didn’t know how they did it as I found it hard enough at times to find the energy to parent in my mid 20s. Being in my 40s now I really don’t know how they managed, although being more established financially probably doesn’t hurt as money troubles at the time when I first had my kids definitely added to the overall stress of parenting.

[Street Pharmacist]

Originally Posted by 8sPOT

I never really thought of that but yeah that is interesting for sure. I have friends who have teenaged kids like I do, and some who are just getting started.



I do see the appeal of being more secure and stable in life before having kids. But I also see the appeal of doing it when you're younger and full of piss and vinegar.



Happy Birthday to your kiddo!

I'm almost 45. I had a child at 19 and then two more at 33 and 37, so I've seen both sides of this

My oldest, I had way more energy to do fun things and we're closer to brothers in how we hang out, though he still looks to me for guidance.

With my two younger ones, I'm enjoying the experience a lot more, but have less energy/patience to do things with them.

The two different experiences have shaped the relationships in that I'm pretty close with all three, but in different ways. I wouldn't prefer one path over the other, except I'm super jealous of my friends who can just travel or do things without worrying about what to do with the kids

[bizaro86]

Originally Posted by you&me

Confirmation bias, incoming...

We're relatively young parents (had my first at 28; wife at 26)... I suppose it's a reflection of the schools and activities we have the kids in, but we are far and away "the young parents" with our oldest. Even with our youngest, we're definitely still in the youngest quarter of the parental peer group.

I mean, there have been more than a few fiftieth birthday parties - and some are closing in quickly on 6-0 - among the older parent groups and I can't imagine having that much time left with school-aged children...

I think it really varies by peer group. I was 28 when my oldest was born also, and many of my kid's friends' parents are 50+ (he's 10 now).

But there are also some things we've gone to where I've thought the parents were very young.

If you have your kids in travel hockey and private school they mostly aren't going to meet people being raised by a single mom who had them when she was 19, because of the cost of those activities.

Average age of a first time dad is only 33, so 28 isn't a huge amount younger than the average.

I think the perceived difference is partially generational - I'm a Millenial, and I think GenX parents quite differently, so even those parents who are only like 5-10 years older than me have different perspectives.

[shermanator]

On the topic of daycare, it has become significantly more affordable in the last few years. We started off paying around $1400 / month at the start of 2021 and now we're paying sub $700 / month. Compare that to Kids and Company who are around $2000 / month after government credits. The difference is insane.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Yeah, that would be tough.

We'll see what university holds for my kid.

The big thing I do that's maybe a bit unusual is encourage them to take the easiest stuff to get their piece of paper. Like, you want to take Physics 30 in grade 12? Why? It'll be hard when fricken Phys Ed is weighted the same to get into university. Always take the easiest route to get to your end goal. If there's an easy math and a hard math that both count the same for university entrance, take the easy math, obviously. It's crazy how well this approach is working for us.

I understand that is different in university if you have a defined end goal, but still, we just worked my daughter's schedule to take the easiest possible courses at the best possible times, so strategy does enter into it even if you have ambitious goals.

My wife went to "rate my prof" and made sure we picked all the easiest markers. Each morning allows a sleep in (her classes will start at 10 at the earliest). I think you need to be really strategic and hard work is not its own reward. Find a leisurely way to get that degree while the worker bees are working their sacks off.

I still think all those high-grade types are confounded at how people that are more fun to be around but cruised around with B- averages have surpassed them in the workforce. My gamble is my approach will put my kids further ahead in life than the people who are giving it 199%. I want them to do well in school, but even better in The Den 101ing. The successful people I see at 47 are the ones who know how to hang. Those who were all about the studying top out in their careers and cannot understand why.

Edit: OMG, I implied your kid was going to be unsuccessful for working hard and getting good grades haha. Sorry, dude. I know there are programs where that effort is required and there are so many successful people that need to work so hard to become the types that make the world a better place. The Sliver clan is much more mid than that, so we aim for mediocrity haha.

The issue with this strategy is you are limiting what type of schooling you are able to do in university by not taking the harder math and physics and what not. Sure it might not be what the kid wants to do now, but a ton of people end up doing things they didn’t think they wanted to do at 15/16.

[Fuzz]

Ya, it's a mistake not to do all the 30 level stuff if you ever plan on going to University. I remember several people in that situation, and they then had to take the upgrade before they could get started in the 201's, so it screws up your flow for the 4 year programs, and sets you back. I remember those students regretting past choices...and it's not like the 30's level high school stuff was all that bad.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

Ya, it's a mistake not to do all the 30 level stuff if you ever plan on going to University. I remember several people in that situation, and they then had to take the upgrade before they could get started in the 201's, so it screws up your flow for the 4 year programs, and sets you back. I remember those students regretting past choices...and it's not like the 30's level high school stuff was all that bad.

No, it's different now. There's math 30-1 (harder) and 30-2 (easier). Take the -2 and it still lines you up for university, but makes it easier. Literally just went through that this year.

If your plan is university you obviously need to take all 30 level stuff, but there are hard 30 level courses and easier ones. My point is to take the easier ones, get higher grades in those and make university entrance easier and life more fun.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Weitz

The issue with this strategy is you are limiting what type of schooling you are able to do in university by not taking the harder math and physics and what not. Sure it might not be what the kid wants to do now, but a ton of people end up doing things they didn’t think they wanted to do at 15/16.

Yeah Math 30-2 is the last math course my daughter will ever take in her life. She just needs to get into education, which requires like a 90 average or something insane. It's a highly sought after program because it's a ticket to dat e-z life and kids have wised up to that. For that reason we had to be super strategic in high school to make sure her grades were there. Once you're in the program it's smooth sailing until early retirement with every summer off for 30 years. Woot.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by Sliver

No, it's different now. There's math 30-1 (harder) and 30-2 (easier). Take the -2 and it still lines you up for university, but makes it easier. Literally just went through that this year.

If your plan is university you obviously need to take all 30 level stuff, but there are hard 30 level courses and easier ones. My point is to take the easier ones, get higher grades in those and make university entrance easier and life more fun.

Ah, ok, that's fine. I seem to remember it being Math 30, and 31 was the advanced one. But you could also take something like Math 24(?) which was for dummies, but you could still graduate. So ya, as long as you do the 30 level stuff, that's enough. Doing the higher level can give you a shortcut if you know you are going to need it in Uni though. But that's less of a big deal.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by Sliver

No, it's different now. There's math 30-1 (harder) and 30-2 (easier). Take the -2 and it still lines you up for university, but makes it easier. Literally just went through that this year.

If your plan is university you obviously need to take all 30 level stuff, but there are hard 30 level courses and easier ones. My point is to take the easier ones, get higher grades in those and make university entrance easier and life more fun.

That may work for education and in your daughters specific case but I wouldn’t call it a sound strategy for kids who want to keep options open. You can’t apply to probably any science faculty with -2 math (just looked at a few on the U of A site).

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Weitz

That may work for education and in your daughters specific case but I wouldn’t call it a sound strategy for kids who want to keep options open. You can’t apply to probably any science faculty with -2 math (just looked at a few on the U of A site).

Of course not. You have to strategize for your individual circumstances and goals. It doesn't change the larger point. Don't make things harder on yourself than they need to be. In high school, in university, in life.