Is your wife, girlfriend or partner ALWAYS exhausted???

[you&me]

Originally Posted by TrentCrimmIndependent

May also be smart to limit your time browsing CP. While it's not quite the same, I think a lot of the same effects happen with excessive engagement on here. If you're living through the forum in a way, what is said will begin to matter and have more effect on you than it should.

We literally see this every day in some thread.

This post piqued my curiosity... Mr. Crimm, you might want to take your own advice, as you average 13 posts per day on CP, nearly double the rate of any other poster on the page

[Jason14h]

That’s cause he’s an old man who only knows how to get to CalgaryPuck because his grandson bookmarked the page for him !

Ignorance is bliss

[Jason14h]

Originally Posted by you&me

This post piqued my curiosity... Mr. Crimm, you might want to take your own advice, as you average 13 posts per day on CP, nearly double the rate of any other poster on the page

People missing the irony in this thread is the most amusing part ! Don’t take that away

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

Women are tired because they have to do everything now; be a mom, take care of a house & work full time.
A lot of men are useless tools who don't do much but play video games & smoke vapes all day too.

More women joining the workforce and getting into higher prestige jobs was appropriate for equality but people didn't consider the side effects to a women's ability to still raise kids or the dynamic of a household in general.

But now we're also at a stage where 2 incomes are needed to afford anything so people are stretched very thin.
I think someone here recently mentioned Elizabeth Warren's book The Two Income Trap.
The premise seems spot on.

Also, women are being pushed into different areas to become a statistic. I've seen initiatives for Women in STEM. Well guess what, STEM disciplines are some of the most stressful and competitive areas there is. Our mom did less stressful jobs and weren't pushed.

Women in Executive positions, many companies want a 50/50 split and that's a lot of pressure on women to a) do the job and b) to represent. I mentioned in another thread that some people aren't cut out to be managers. I'm a manager but that's probably my limit. If I were a Director or CFO i think I would break down. Women on Boards. So outside of regular work, women are encouraged to be on boards or to volunteer in the community. Again, for representation, to be a statistic for someone. And if you're a non-white woman, you're encouraged to break more barriers. That's a lot of stress and energy and I've often tried to avoid.

[DoubleF]

I also find that with social media, many people are dopamine addicted to the attention, doom consume and engage in representing their life online as a fantasy.

Certain lines have blurred a lot in the last few years.

It used to be fine living an online fantasy playing a character in an MMO. Now people live an online fantasy posting stuff on their social media and think it's normal. The blurring between these lines have been rapid IMO but with quick noticeable outcomes. I don't know if this is because reality tv has also contributed to making this normal, but I don't like it. I point this living a fantasy aspect out to others that I'm pretty sure can't handle it and remind them to spend money on things they actually like, not things they don't.

The conspicuous consumption/keeping up with the Joneses socially blending also messed up the difference between a need and a want. People then manufactured the idea that anything less than 2-3 out of town trips a year was inadequate. People would go from being satisfied to doing more because they were convinced doing more would make them more happy. I mean, it does mean you experience more happy... but there's diminishing returns on the satisfaction derived from subsequent trips while the cost is still directly incremental. You're kinda just paying to shuffle your day to day happiness into a concentrated time period.


It's almost like work too where some people come to me all excited about implementing new (to them) programs to have appropriate metrics and platform to increase productivity etc. and when I look at their situation, productivity decreases vs increases. What's the point of tracking your time to the minute when you don't actually need that information or review those metrics? You added time to keep track of it only to not use it. You were better off not tracking and working more. And many people underestimate upkeep time. I tell people if you use 10-20% of your daily time upkeeping the additional data in detail, you better derive more than 10-20% in productivity or it doesn't make sense. "No, no DoubleF, that's not how it works." Many people forget to take a step back and understand why they do things. If the why you're doing it doesn't match whether it meets the intended mission, it might not be the right decision for you.

My 2024 resolution was purging. I intend to cut down the volume of all my possessions (digital or physical) by 20-30%. Some of it means consolidating multiple items into 1, replacing things I have into things that pack away well and some of it means just straight up purging stuff. It has been insanely satisfying when donating things, gifting excess things to friends/family and tossing things that are nice to have "in case" but honestly speaking it's pack rat stuff (useless, damaged, low quality back up tools etc.). I've also been trying to display more of the things I want to keep but don't use rather than leaving them in dark boxes. If it will sit in a dark box collecting dust, I have to default to consider donating it and really having a strong case to justify keeping it. It also forces me to either donate, gift or work on a back log. Some friends were elated to get gifts on things like Lego that I had intended to do, but had no time or appropriate space to display the final result. It was like two birds, one stone and it felt really good. The fact it's a proud display piece for them now is the cherry on top. It's getting the spot light it deserves and it's always fun to discuss it or hear them tell others it was a gift when I go over to their place. I also asked my wife to get me less useless knickknacks for occasions. Instead I've asked either for experiences to celebrate those or to combine those occasions into a single but perhaps better gift.

For me, I've noticed less is more.

I've also been very surprised how much more satisfaction I was deriving from these purges than I was expecting. "Oh ####, there's half a trunk load again!" It feels really damn good to see empty space in my home. Maybe because that space feels more like potential opportunities rather than clutter that represents failed attempts.

[#-3]

My wife 38, has been exhausted basically since we had kids at 26.

And I could be wrong, but I think she wears a smaller domestic workload on her shoulder than the average 30 something mother. While she also spend a fair amount more than 40 hours a week at her accounting job.

I really doubt it's related to house work that she is so tired, and if she had it in her to get moving around the house a little more when she got home, she would actually have more energy. I think the thing I really see form her is wearing a lot more than is reasonable on her shoulders. She goes to bed at 9:30 thinking about work, and the team the kid has to make, and if she could have done the kids home work better than they did, and the call we got because the other kid didn't participate in gym today, and weather i'm happy or secretly hate her (i don't)... It's a bunch of stuff she has basically no control over, mostly doesn't matter all that much, and almost certainly effects her quality of sleep.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Also, women are being pushed into different areas to become a statistic. I've seen initiatives for Women in STEM. Well guess what, STEM disciplines are some of the most stressful and competitive areas there is. Our mom did less stressful jobs and weren't pushed.

Women in Executive positions, many companies want a 50/50 split and that's a lot of pressure on women to a) do the job and b) to represent. I mentioned in another thread that some people aren't cut out to be managers. I'm a manager but that's probably my limit. If I were a Director or CFO i think I would break down. Women on Boards. So outside of regular work, women are encouraged to be on boards or to volunteer in the community. Again, for representation, to be a statistic for someone. And if you're a non-white woman, you're encouraged to break more barriers. That's a lot of stress and energy and I've often tried to avoid.

The answer for that is find a stay at home partner. If you look at male execs many of their partners are in low demand/stress jobs or not in the workforce managing the home.

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

Originally Posted by you&me

This post piqued my curiosity... Mr. Crimm, you might want to take your own advice, as you average 13 posts per day on CP, nearly double the rate of any other poster on the page

Well being sick for a while has played into a bump in activity. So there's that..

But yes I'm working on cutting back my engagement on the site. Having the wisdom of that overindulgence in the past and seeing others do it allows me to speak with a little authority on why it's a good thing to take a break now and again.

I'm glad you took the important bits out of that post.

And you're tracking post counts why? Do you have an excel spreadsheet in order to confirm this? Definitely not strange behaviour.

Originally Posted by Jason14h

That’s cause he’s an old man who only knows how to get to CalgaryPuck because his grandson bookmarked the page for him !

Ignorance is bliss

Lolwut? Thanks for the laugh. Yeeah...that's it.

[Jason14h]

Originally Posted by TrentCrimmIndependent

Well being sick for a while has played into a bump in activity. So there's that..

But yes I'm working on cutting back my engagement on the site. Having the wisdom of that overindulgence in the past and seeing others do it allows me to speak with a little authority on why it's a good thing to take a break now and again.

I'm glad you took the important bits out of that post.

And you're tracking post counts why? Do you have an excel spreadsheet in order to confirm this? Definitely not strange behaviour.



Lolwut? Thanks for the laugh. Yeeah...that's it.

Was directed as Silver / post before - but someone posted in between and I didn’t use the quote function ! Cause I’m also old and tired

[GGG]

Originally Posted by TrentCrimmIndependent

Well being sick for a while has played into a bump in activity. So there's that..

But yes I'm working on cutting back my engagement on the site. Having the wisdom of that overindulgence in the past and seeing others do it allows me to speak with a little authority on why it's a good thing to take a break now and again.

I'm glad you took the important bits out of that post.

And you're tracking post counts why? Do you have an excel spreadsheet in order to confirm this? Definitely not strange behaviour.

Lolwut? Thanks for the laugh. Yeeah...that's it.

It’s under your user info. View public profile, statistics. So much less creepy then what you are thinking.

[you&me]

Originally Posted by GGG

It’s under your user info. View public profile, statistics. So much less creepy then what you are thinking.

An informative post, for you 25,343rd

[btimbit]

Yeah I remember discovering that for the first time and thinking 'holy ####, I post a lot"

But then you realize 80% of them are nothing, like posting in game threads where it's just stuff like "Nice shot" and "God dammit Hanifin"

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

Originally Posted by GGG

It’s under your user info. View public profile, statistics. So much less creepy then what you are thinking.

But he/she said 2x the rate of every one in the thread. So is this person keeping track of every one in the thread as well? Hence excel.

Maybe I need to thank him/her/it because I don't pay attention to user stats.

I'll try and reduce my daily number by a bit each month.

[you&me]

Originally Posted by TrentCrimmIndependent

But he/she said 2x the rate of every one in the thread. So is this person keeping track of every one in the thread as well? Hence excel.

Maybe I need to thank him/her/it because I don't pay attention to user stats.

I'll try and reduce my daily number by a bit each month.

You're overthinking it... It took me about 30 seconds and maybe a dozen mouse clicks to see the total & daily post counts for you and 4-5 other profiles (on the page; I said "page")... You, at ~13 per day stood out, as the next highest was ~8 per day and the others were closer to half that rate / a quarter of your rate.

No offense intended.

(damnit, with this I might be at risk of cresting the 1.0 post per day threshold)

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by GGG

The answer for that is find a stay at home partner. If you look at male execs many of their partners are in low demand/stress jobs or not in the workforce managing the home.

There aren’t a lot of ambitious women interested in a mate who earns less than half of what they earn. Women in general rarely marry down.

[btimbit]

Originally Posted by CliffFletcher

There aren’t a lot of ambitious women interested in a mate who earns less than half of what they earn. Women in general rarely marry down.

Mine did

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by you&me

You're overthinking it... It took me about 30 seconds and maybe a dozen mouse clicks to see the total & daily post counts for you and 4-5 other profiles (on the page; I said "page")... You, at ~13 per day stood out, as the next highest was ~8 per day and the others were closer to half that rate / a quarter of your rate.

No offense intended.

(damnit, with this I might be at risk of cresting the 1.0 post per day threshold)

Don’t pull back the curtain. People instantly pulling the creepy/strange/obsessive/stalker card whenever someone takes 30 seconds to use literally any functionality on here outside of typing something in a box and hitting “submit reply” is my favourite accidental meme on the site.

It makes you appreciate how few people who have been here 10 plus years actually know how the forum works, and as a bonus, you get to feel like the Wizard of Oz.

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

Don’t pull back the curtain. People instantly pulling the creepy/strange/obsessive/stalker card whenever someone takes 30 seconds to use literally any functionality on here outside of typing something in a box and hitting “submit reply” is my favourite accidental meme on the site.

It makes you appreciate how few people who have been here 10 plus years actually know how the forum works, and as a bonus, you get to feel like the Wizard of Oz.

How'd we get to creepy/strange/obsessive/stalker?

Original response was "that's not strange" when the post gave the impression they had everybody's post counts were in front of them (i.e. on a spreadsheet cause there are quite a number that have posted). Literally playfully bantering back with this person.

GGG dropped the word creepy (unsure why), and you expanded on that with more words never said. Maybe try to discern what the actual exchange was instead of piggybacking off of GGG's random assumptive post?

Oh CP.. where stuff is made out of nothing.

[Doctorfever]

Originally Posted by DoubleF

I also find that with social media, many people are dopamine addicted to the attention, doom consume and engage in representing their life online as a fantasy.

Certain lines have blurred a lot in the last few years.

It used to be fine living an online fantasy playing a character in an MMO. Now people live an online fantasy posting stuff on their social media and think it's normal. The blurring between these lines have been rapid IMO but with quick noticeable outcomes. I don't know if this is because reality tv has also contributed to making this normal, but I don't like it. I point this living a fantasy aspect out to others that I'm pretty sure can't handle it and remind them to spend money on things they actually like, not things they don't.

The conspicuous consumption/keeping up with the Joneses socially blending also messed up the difference between a need and a want. People then manufactured the idea that anything less than 2-3 out of town trips a year was inadequate. People would go from being satisfied to doing more because they were convinced doing more would make them more happy. I mean, it does mean you experience more happy... but there's diminishing returns on the satisfaction derived from subsequent trips while the cost is still directly incremental. You're kinda just paying to shuffle your day to day happiness into a concentrated time period.


It's almost like work too where some people come to me all excited about implementing new (to them) programs to have appropriate metrics and platform to increase productivity etc. and when I look at their situation, productivity decreases vs increases. What's the point of tracking your time to the minute when you don't actually need that information or review those metrics? You added time to keep track of it only to not use it. You were better off not tracking and working more. And many people underestimate upkeep time. I tell people if you use 10-20% of your daily time upkeeping the additional data in detail, you better derive more than 10-20% in productivity or it doesn't make sense. "No, no DoubleF, that's not how it works." Many people forget to take a step back and understand why they do things. If the why you're doing it doesn't match whether it meets the intended mission, it might not be the right decision for you.

My 2024 resolution was purging. I intend to cut down the volume of all my possessions (digital or physical) by 20-30%. Some of it means consolidating multiple items into 1, replacing things I have into things that pack away well and some of it means just straight up purging stuff. It has been insanely satisfying when donating things, gifting excess things to friends/family and tossing things that are nice to have "in case" but honestly speaking it's pack rat stuff (useless, damaged, low quality back up tools etc.). I've also been trying to display more of the things I want to keep but don't use rather than leaving them in dark boxes. If it will sit in a dark box collecting dust, I have to default to consider donating it and really having a strong case to justify keeping it. It also forces me to either donate, gift or work on a back log. Some friends were elated to get gifts on things like Lego that I had intended to do, but had no time or appropriate space to display the final result. It was like two birds, one stone and it felt really good. The fact it's a proud display piece for them now is the cherry on top. It's getting the spot light it deserves and it's always fun to discuss it or hear them tell others it was a gift when I go over to their place. I also asked my wife to get me less useless knickknacks for occasions. Instead I've asked either for experiences to celebrate those or to combine those occasions into a single but perhaps better gift.

For me, I've noticed less is more.

I've also been very surprised how much more satisfaction I was deriving from these purges than I was expecting. "Oh ####, there's half a trunk load again!" It feels really damn good to see empty space in my home. Maybe because that space feels more like potential opportunities rather than clutter that represents failed attempts.

Except when it comes to words per post.

I’m kidding. It was a good post.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by TrentCrimmIndependent

How'd we get to creepy/strange/obsessive/stalker?

Original response was "that's not strange" when the post gave the impression they had everybody's post counts were in front of them (i.e. on a spreadsheet cause there are quite a number that have posted). Literally playfully bantering back with this person.

GGG dropped the word creepy (unsure why), and you expanded on that with more words never said. Maybe try to discern what the actual exchange was instead of piggybacking off of GGG's random assumptive post?

Oh CP.. where stuff is made out of nothing.

Ugh, Trent, get with it man.

The entire post wasn’t just about you. It was about the not-uncommon occurrence of spending 30 seconds to use the search function, quote an old post, find post counts, etc, and having someone (again, not you every time, just “people”) call it creepy/strange/etc.

I assumed this was implied by mentioning things that suggest numerous instances, like saying “people” or suggesting it had become a “meme” etc.

You really bring down the vibe when I have to explain these things to you. I’m just adding on to the literally-playful-banter.

But 13 posts a day is a lot. I thought I posted a lot.