Quote:
Originally Posted by calgarygeologist
It also means being left alone. I enjoy going out and being around people but I like to hang out on my own and take things in. I'm not interested in making small talk with strangers and pretending were friends.
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This is roughly the story I would tell too. But if I'm honest I know that if I had the energy to be around people for more prolonged periods without feeling drained, I'd prefer to be someone that chats up randoms and makes friends wherever I go, or just brighten a strangers day with a friendly exchange.
I think innately we'd prefer to be skilled socialisers because it just feels better to be connected to people around us and there are many advantages to being so (networking, in business, friends etc), but like with many things, when we realize that we're not great at it naturally and have some bad experiences trying, it's easier to stop trying and commit to the explanation that we choose/prefer an introvert lifestyle.
But I think we all have the ability to be sociable. Some of us just need more work at it, but just don't get enough situations to practice and gain that confidence. If we weren't supposed to be sociable, the introverts wouldn't be drawn back to social situations despite the limitless option of spending time alone in their down time.
Obviously variety is nice. There are people who are opposite and spend an inordinate amount of time around people which presents other mental problems when they don't realize they're not getting enough time to themselves to digest their experience and process #### or figure out what they (not others) want.
But I think what it comes down to with many introverts who feel drained quickly by socializing is they are too in their heads about it because they're less practiced at it, and the over-analyzing of those situations and some self-judgment is what makes them feel drained, more than other people.
This is why you see those introvert memes of people analyzing their conversations hours after the fact and tormenting themselves for saying something stupid.