Every question in life can be answered with a Simpson's quote
From the useless thread department. It's a simple concept. Someone asks a question, the answer to that question must be a Simpson's quote. Rinse & Repeat...
For example:
What was the best day of your life?
"the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
"the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
FLAG ON THE PLAY!
Clearly, there is only one correct answer to the question, "What was the best day of your life?" What you should have said was,
"I'm having the best day ever, and I owe it all to skipping church!"
Quote:
-Where's the best place to get a oil change in the city?
I was tempted to answer with something about the oil belonging to Springfield Elementary, but Mr. Burns had this to say:
"A non-profit organization with oil...I won't allow it!"
"Kids, you tried your best and failed misrably. The lesson is don't try"
-Where's the best place to get a oil change in the city?
While that one is pretty good....i'm going to go with a little something better...
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.
Kent Brockman: Now, over the years, a newsman learns a number of things that for one reason or another, he just cannot report. It doesn't seem to matter now, so...the following people are gay...
"Kids, you tried your best and failed misrably. The lesson is don't try"
-Where's the best place to get a oil change in the city?
I'm trying to think of a significant quote from the one episode where Homer and Bart steal the grease from school to sell, but I'm drawing a blank. So instead, I have this:
Groundskeeper Willy: Do ya have any grease??
Cafeteria lady: Why yes. Yes we do.
Groundskeeper Willy: Well then grrrease me up, woman!
Cafeteria lady: ... ... .. okay ... ... ...
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.
O.K. I have a couple for this one.....first the obvious...
Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
on the other hand....with everyone talking about making the team better.....
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you (Insert Calgary Flames)...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!