60 Things Men Should Know About Women!!

[HelloHockeyFans]

Personally, I've never claimed to be a mind-reader, so I don't feel the need to explain myself for not digging deeper to find out whether or not she's lying. If it seems like something's wrong, I ask. If she replies with "nothing", that's where it ends on my end.

I don't go out of my way to cheer her up or continue to ask when she's already told me nothing was wrong. If it ends up that something actually was wrong and she just didn't tell me (and it's happened before), I just tell her that I asked and she said nothing was wrong.

If the girl doesn't want to tell me something's wrong, when something clearly is wrong, fine, that's her right. But don't get all pissy and tell me I'm insensitive when I asked you already, and you lied. It's not my job to hound you for "the truth".

[Dion]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Well I don't have one right now, but yes... I am rather sarcastic.

Fair enough. I personaly I dislike sarcasm as a means of communication.

You have taken my example way off course, and that has led us to this place. The woman in my example did not want to fight, she wants a shoulder to lean on, and the man ditched her to hang out with his buddies instead, without asking how her day was first. The original question is what would make a female so upset she would cry. If I'm upset already, and my man doesn't even care enough to ask how my day was, I'm probably going to cry.

No mention was made about asking how her day was in your original statement.

And anger management is the part where she doesn't smash her fist through your face, she walks away telling you "nothing" is wrong.

If someone is having thoughts of comitting violence it needs to be adressed before it actually happens. There's far too much spousal abuse in the news today. As for the nothing is wrong.....she says she's angry and needs time to compose her thoughts. Be honest about it and say you need a few minutes.

t's also an anger management technique. If you were to press the issue at that exact moment, it becomes an argument. If you let her calm down, then you can have a discussion, without so much emotion.

How can we let her calm down when she say's there's nothing wrong? Are we supposed to be mind readers?

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Well who are they asking out? If you're a male, and I'm using you as a shoulder to cry on, you'd better believe you're on my friend ladder, in which case, yeah, you're likely going to get rejected when you ask me out. Why are you allowing girls to cry on your shoulder if you aren't dating and you want to?

Because we love and care about you?

Guys don't understand the ladder theory, as in life we're taught "if you want it . . . act like it" as in: if you want to be manager, act like a manager; if you want to be a goal scorer, act like a goal scorer.

So if we want to be your boyfriend, we'll act like your boyfriend, see if you want us around, if you like us, if we can be the guy you turn to.

Then we're told (through actions) we're the most important guy in your life . . . hell we could be told that verbally...... and you're dating someone else? WTF?

(again not you specifically, FireFly)

Originally Posted by FireFly

That depends on what it is I'm talking about... if I want a 3 carat rock, and you can't afford it, yeah I'm gonna lie about it. Duh. I don't want you to feel bad that you can't afford what I really want. Besides, what I really want is YOU, and it doesn't really matter what the rock looks like. (Not you specifically Q, just generalizing here with an extreme example.)

I can afford a 3 carat rock . . . ladies PM me

Originally Posted by FireFly

Again, we do these things with the best intentions. (Mostly) It's not a game, we're trying to spare everyone involved undue stress or anger or whatever.

This maybe the guy in me speaking but, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I'd rather know what cards I'm playing with. I want to know all the variables and factors when making decisions that affect my life and the lives of people I car about, in particular the woman in my life. Ergo, I want the truth, even though it hurts, I want it. If there's a problem, or a situation . . . I can fix it (or atleast I think I can so let me try)

[PYroMaNiaC]

Originally Posted by Dion

How can we let her calm down when she say's there's nothing wrong? Are we supposed to be mind readers?

Ah, but now you've been given the information that you were missing. No more excuses.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Dion

Fair enough. I personaly I dislike sarcasm as a means of communication.

Well isn't that nice for you? /sarcasm.

No mention was made about asking how her day was in your original statement.

It was left out for a reason. That was the example.

If someone is having thoughts of comitting violence it needs to be adressed before it actually happens. There's far too much spousal abuse in the news today. As for the nothing is wrong.....she says she's angry and needs time to compose her thoughts. Be honest about it and say you need a few minutes.

I'm Irish. I have a lot of thoughts of violence and I've only ever acted them out on my brother when we were children.

How can we let her calm down when she say's there's nothing wrong? Are we supposed to be mind readers?

It doesn't take a mind reader to figure out that when a woman says "Nothing" in an angry manner, she actually means something is wrong, she just can't discuss it right now. It's much different than just a plain "nothing". Don't they say that 90% of communication is not verbal? Take your cues from body language and tone... again, it's not mind reading.

[PYroMaNiaC]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

Because we love and care about you?

Guys don't understand the ladder theory, as in life we're taught "if you want it . . . act like it" as in: if you want to be manager, act like a manager; if you want to be a goal scorer, act like a goal scorer.

So if we want to be your boyfriend, we'll act like your boyfriend, see if you want us around, if you like us, if we can be the guy you turn to.

Then we're told (through actions) we're the most important guy in your life . . . hell we could be told that...... and you're dating someone else? WTF?

(again not you specifically, FireFly)



I can afford a 3 carat rock . . . ladies PM me



This is the guy in me speaking but, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I'd rather know what cards I'm playing with, and know all the variables and factors when making decisions that affect my life and the lives of people I car about, in particular the woman in my life. Ergo the truth, even though it hurts, I want. If there's a problem, or a situation . . . I can fix it (or atleast I think I can so let me try)

You are missing the point. This argument is riddled with logic. We do not operate on a logical level when it comes to our love lives. We can employ logic when we want too, but again, "want" would be an emotional response.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Apparently I need to spell things out for you. When I said "that wasn't my example" I was not talking about the drunkenness, I was talking about the other plans and the asking how your day was. Whether or not you're going to get drunk with your buddies when you go out with them is irrelevant to my example. In my example, the guy came home, said "I'm leaving" and left. There was no stopping to ask how the day was, as was in your explaination.

All you've done is explain your situation alot better with more clarity. If it was better explained in the first place we wouldn't be at this point.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

You are missing the point. This argument is riddled with logic. We do not operate on a logical level when it comes to our love lives. We can employ logic when we want too, but again, "want" would be an emotional response.

I can get that you don't work on a logical level, but an emotional one (but realize men work on a logical level so there will always be conflict).

But what about the ladder theory? From how I see it from the male perspective it's both logcial and emotional . . . I don't get it.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Dion

All you've done is explain your situation alot better with more clarity. If it was better explained in the first place we wouldn't be at this point.

And that's why I explained it in more detail. Although the lack of detail was the detail in the original point.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I'm Irish. I have a lot of thoughts of violence and I've only ever acted them out on my brother when we were children.

The fact you've acted it out once is a reason for concern IMO.

It doesn't take a mind reader to figure out that when a woman says "Nothing" in an angry manner, she actually means something is wrong, she just can't discuss it right now. It's much different than just a plain "nothing". Don't they say that 90% of communication is not verbal? Take your cues from body language and tone... again, it's not mind reading.

Being expected to read tone and body langauge is a cop out. And yes 90% is non verbal, but don't use it as a means to avoid honesty.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Dion

The fact you've acted it out once is a reason for concern IMO.

So you're saying that all hockey players who've ever had a fight should have anger management?

Being expected to read tone and body langauge is a cop out. And yes 90% is non verbal, but don't use it as a means to avoid honesty.

It's not a cop out, we'll be honest later when we aren't so busy being mad. You're the one using "I'm not a mind reader" as a cop out. You know damn well something is wrong.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by FireFly

And that's why I explained it in more detail. Although the lack of detail was the detail in the original point.

Fair enough.

No disrespect, but when you use the phrase, "Apparently I need to spell things out for you.", it comes across as condesending. People don't always understand what you or I might say and can sometimes misintepret our meanings.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally Posted by FireFly

It doesn't take a mind reader to figure out that when a woman says "Nothing" in an angry manner, she actually means something is wrong, she just can't discuss it right now. It's much different than just a plain "nothing". Don't they say that 90% of communication is not verbal? Take your cues from body language and tone... again, it's not mind reading.

Nope, it doesn't take a mind reader, but if you tell me "nothing", I'm not about to beg, plead and pry by continuously asking you, "what's wrong? Come on, tell me what's wrong!". I also won't ask you again.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by HelloHockeyFans

Nope, it doesn't take a mind reader, but if you tell me "nothing", I'm not about to beg, plead and pry by continuously asking you, "what's wrong? Come on, tell me what's wrong!". I also won't ask you again.

Well, that would just irritate an already irritated person. I obviously don't want to talk to you right now, so don't push it. However, again with the non-verbal communication, you'll know when I'm ready to talk about it, so feel free to ask again when I've cleared my head a bit. And fine, if you don't want to ask again, don't. But chances are I'm not going to just tell you because you know I'm pissed off at you which makes this all your fault and your responsibility to fix. And you're not getting laid until you do.

(This is an exaggeration, please, don't think it's ALWAYS going to turn out like this.)

[CaramonLS]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Well, that would just irritate an already irritated person. I obviously don't want to talk to you right now, so don't push it. However, again with the non-verbal communication, you'll know when I'm ready to talk about it, so feel free to ask again when I've cleared my head a bit. And fine, if you don't want to ask again, don't. But chances are I'm not going to just tell you because you know I'm pissed off at you which makes this all your fault and your responsibility to fix.

I think all he is asking you to do is just say "we'll talk about it later" instead of "nothing", which really isn't unreasonable.

[Dion]

[quote=FireFly;885226]So you're saying that all hockey players who've ever had a fight should have anger management?[quote]

Hockey players when they see someone is hurt will back away from a fight. Besides it's a part of the game and players know it's a possibilty it will come up.

Does someone in spousal abuse back off when someone is hurt?

It's not a cop out, we'll be honest later when we aren't so busy being mad. You're the one using "I'm not a mind reader" as a cop out. You know damn well something is wrong.

What is so hard with saying i'm angry and I need some time to collect my thoughts? FWIW i have trouble reading body language, and there are others out there like me. There's a medical reason for this - Aspergers Syndrome.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by CaramonLS

I think all he is asking you to do is just say "we'll talk about it later" instead of "nothing", which really isn't unreasonable.

Someone who understands what i'm saying.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Well, that would just irritate an already irritated person. I obviously don't want to talk to you right now, so don't push it. However, again with the non-verbal communication, you'll know when I'm ready to talk about it, so feel free to ask again when I've cleared my head a bit. And fine, if you don't want to ask again, don't. But chances are I'm not going to just tell you because you know I'm pissed off at you which makes this all your fault and your responsibility to fix. And you're not getting laid until you do.

(This is an exaggeration, please, don't think it's ALWAYS going to turn out like this.)

LOL! Wow, I would NOT be able to handle that...

I think I'm a very fair guy to my girlfriends, but one thing I won't ever do is be that guy who is constantly being told what to do, what to say and when to say it.

I'll ask once. If you tell me, fine. We'll talk. If I screwed up and I agree with you, fine. I'll apologize. But if I ask you what's wrong, and you don't tell me... forget it.

[Superfraggle]

If "nothing" means "something", what means "nothing"?

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

I can get that you don't work on a logical level, but an emotional one (but realize men work on a logical level so there will always be conflict).

But what about the ladder theory? From how I see it from the male perspective it's both logcial and emotional . . . I don't get it.

Well gee MQS you raise an interesting point with the Ladder Theory, you explained in the post quoted below the reasons why you can't understand it:

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

Because we love and care about you?

Guys don't understand the ladder theory, as in life we're taught "if you want it . . . act like it" as in: if you want to be manager, act like a manager; if you want to be a goal scorer, act like a goal scorer.

So if we want to be your boyfriend, we'll act like your boyfriend, see if you want us around, if you like us, if we can be the guy you turn to.

Then we're told (through actions) we're the most important guy in your life . . . hell we could be told that verbally...... and you're dating someone else? WTF?

So if I understand the answer properly, it's:

when a woman says "nothing" it means she needs to cool off before you talk, and she won't say "gimme a minute" because she's an emotional creature and she's trying to use the shortest amount of talking to get out of the area incase she errupts and says something she doesn't mean out of pure emotion.

wow that explains the ladder theory completely! Thanks folks!