60 Things Men Should Know About Women!!

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by J pold

I don’t know what you mean by that…but I am just going to go ahead and assume you mean Booze

Bingo.

[Cliche]

"Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!"

[J pold]

Originally Posted by Flames_Gimp

totally..those are just the mind games they play..

I find the best way to counter act women’s head games is to just become indifferent to them, just become completely immobilized

For example when I women tries to make you jealous by mentioning other guys (and I know it happens to us all) I just play along…so if she is like yeah I found some guy who will go to the gym/dancing/yoga with me whatever

My response is “ahh that's really good you finally found a friend that's big progress for you, keep of the good behavior maybe more people will like you”

In a joking kind of sympathetic manner

[Ayrahb]

3. Girls love to flirt and are damn good at it. We'll stop, though, if you give us any indication that you're the one.

Women flirt to get goods and/or services. They do not stop if it keeps working. Only relatively attractive girls are good at flirting--same goes for guys.

4. Before girls call a guy, they've conferred with all their friends, lit candles and said a tiny prayer to make sure they don't say anything dumb or anything lovey-dovey BEFORE THE GUY DOES.

And being insecure is good because....?

6. Girls will do anything just to get you to notice them, including the strut, the bend-n-snap and the lip-bite.

So will the little kids by screaming their heads off and guys by driving expensive sports cars. What's your point?

8. Even if you're not dating and you're only talking, don't let a girl know that there are other women in your life... including your mom.

Come on! And give up our last line of defence against crazy stalker chicks?

14. Girls know how important a man's ego is to him, so we cater to it.

There better be a male ego catering school somewhere, I know quite a few women who could use a refresher course.

15. Girls expect to be wined and dined without being called gold-diggers. We're not gold-diggers. We'll chip in once you prove you're not a cheap .

Better than being called that other name that descibes someone who demands compensation for companionship. And chipping in and then calling a guy cheap for letting you do it is not cool.

16. A girl can say she forgives a guy for almost anything if he seems like he means his apology, but will never mean her forgiveness.

Fixed.

18. Don't test a girl: she'll withhold sex for any reason or to any end.

Fixed, again.

21. If you want to know if a girl likes you, just ask.

Wait a minute, weren't we supposed to watch for lip-biting, bend and snaps and junk?

22. We may seem cool about the relationship, but we are obsessing about you to our friends about every possible detail, from penis size to why you haven't said "I love you" yet... Or why you've said it too early.

Again, not something I would want to advertise to guys: "The details of your private life (and parts) can and will be discussed with strangers. If you do not like this policy, tough luck." I am so dying to marry a chick like that.

23. Girls love to brag about their guys... so give us a reason.

We would, but we were raised to believe that bragging is wrong.

24. We're going to tell people you're hot, regardless of what you look like. That's how we see the guys we love.

See 23, lying is not OK, either.

26. A girl will never really ask a guy's advice, unless it's about cars, a class or other girls, in which case, you should never answer.

And we will keep giving advice because we don't like rhetorical questions.

27. Every girl could write a sad story about lost love, or heartbreak.

As long as she doesn't make a guy read it.

28. Girls don't understand why they're the ones seen as confusing, when it's clearly men that are lost in life.

Men must seem lost because they don't have a whole friggin' coven deciding their fate like the women do.

30. If a girl does something dumb in front of the guy, she's going to cry about it... a lot. She can only be appeased when the guy acts like he didn't notice.

We don't have to act, we really didn't notice!

34. When a girl looks calmed down, minimal makeup, genuinely happy... you (or another guy she is seeing) are doing something right.

Fixed once more.

35. If a girl tells her friend she wants to marry a guy, it doesn't mean anything more than what it meant with the last guy. If she tells her boyfriend, it's the truth.

And this is why women hate each other--they will rub their relationships in each other's faces.

36. A girl will never say "leave me alone" to a guy, since she thinks that is the most hurtful thing you can say to someone you're with...

No, no, no: she won't say "leave me alone" to a guy when she truly wants to be alone, but she will definitely say that and more when she wants to hurt him.

37. If we think you're the one, that IS a final decision, and can only be undone if you make it so. (Ie: cheating, ending the relationship, etc)

Or until the chick gets bored, whichever comes first.

38. Girls can be as silly as guys. Therefore, when we say "can we talk?", we expect you to listen, 'cause this isn't just another conversation... We want to be serious when we say "can we talk?"

Our serious reply will be: "What did I do wrong now?" Because that's exactly where your opening leads. If you wanted to talk about anything else, you would have already told us have the story.

39. We know your friends are cool, but your friends that are girls will instantly hate US, even if they don't like you like that. This is because all girls hate other girls in a guy's life.

That's OK, it gets better after high school and college. You see, most mature men don't hang around in packs that include female friends who run their social lives.

40. When a girl looks at you for longer than a minute, she's thinking about how much she likes you.

And if a guy doesn't react after 10 seconds, he is either not interested or he is too shy. Either way, you should start scoping out another target.

41. When a girl looks at you for longer than 5 minutes, she's wondering if your children will have your eyes or your nose.

That seems kinda pathetic. Anyway, see my answer in 40.

42. Girls like manliness, not misogynism. Also, girls like compassionate men, not men with vaginas.

Fair enough, but for someone knowing what she likes, a woman gets those confused an awful lot.

43. Girls have physical troubles you can't even imagine.

And yet they live longer...

44. Girls have standards. Seriously. We put major thought into these and expect them to be fulfilled. That does not make a girl a snob.

Given what we see every day, you could have fooled me.

46. Girls talk more about guys than guys ever could. Trust us: it's all we do.

And thank God for that.

47. It's not called leading you on if a girl is trying to see if there's possibility of pursuing the relationship.

HUH!?

48. Girls hate that guys make seemingly rational decisions that make no emotional sense.

A new form of penis envy?

49. Girls around the world are consistently trying to spy on guys in some way or another to find out what the hell goes on in a guy's mind.

Being insecure control freaks has nothing to do with it, of course.

53. We know you love it girls talk about their asses/boobs/etc. Did you really think we didn't know that?

Noooo, we like to look at those (if they are nice, of course). It really doesn't matter whether girls talk about them.


58. All girls really want is for you to offer a massage. Any body part is fine. Just the fact that you're offering is enough.

I would be careful what I ask for...

59. Not all girls are saucy minxes: we will let you know what we want and how far we'd like you to go with us. All we ask is for respect for us, whether we want one random night or a 6-month sex wait.

A guy I know really respected a girl who polished his knob in a parking lot near a Calgary nightclub. Said he just didn't need an overnight thing and sure as hell wasn't gonna go the fee for service route.

60. The minute a girl decides to be with you, she's already decided that anytime you need it, she'll sacrifice anything necessary to get it to you.
Anything, anytime, anywhere.

Any guy who believes this ought to have his head checked.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by Ayrahb

43. Girls have physical troubles you can't even imagine.

And yet they live longer...

WOW ... made me stop and gasp in amazement about the harshness yet reality of the comment

bravo sir, bravo

[Ayrahb]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

WOW ... made me stop and gasp in amazement about the harshness yet reality of the comment

bravo sir, bravo

Thank you.

I guess we can consider ourselves lucky as men in Canada have it much better than the folks in Sub-Saharan Africa, life expectancy wise.

[sadora]

43. Girls have physical troubles you can't even imagine.

How can you trust something that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die. (bad joke I heard a while ago)

But seriously. I'm not a fan of the head games. None of us likes that aspect of any relationship, but as a guy who loves women I'm willing to put up with that as long as I get what I want...and I'm not referring to just sex here. There's a lot of things that women do to please guys that goes way beyond this capacity.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by sadora

But seriously. I'm not a fan of the head games. None of us likes that aspect of any relationship, but as a guy who loves women I'm willing to put up with that as long as I get what I want...and I'm not referring to just sex here. There's a lot of things that women do to please guys that goes way beyond this capacity.

I hate the head games too, only, I won't comprimise to get what I want. Be upfront and honest about what troubles you AND don't expect us to be mind readers. Even worse is the silent treatment that is used as revenge because some women don't have the balls to tell us what the hell is wrong. Those types are told by me where the door is and to make sure it hits them on the behind when they leave.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Dion

I hate the head games too, only, I won't comprimise to get what I want. Be upfront and honest about what troubles you AND don't expect us to be mind readers. Even worse is the silent treatment that is used as revenge because some women don't have the balls to tell us what the hell is wrong. Those types are told by me where the door is and to make sure it hits them on the behind when they leave.

I'm not sure it's a head game though... it's a way of avoiding a blow out argument at that exact moment. Sure, we should probably approach you later on the subject, but we're emotional beings and hate getting emotional in front of you, unless our pet died or something. We do it to spare you, in essence, it just has a nasty habit of backfiring.

[feartheflames]

wow after reading this thread, it blows me away, Men REALLY dont get women. even though it was spelled out, also, there are some bitter men on this board, lol

[feartheflames]

btw firefly -i agree with your comment about trying to avoid a huge fight, when i give the silent treatment or ask to be left alone/not talked to thats exactly what I am doing. its not mind games

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I'm not sure it's a head game though... it's a way of avoiding a blow out argument at that exact moment. Sure, we should probably approach you later on the subject, but we're emotional beings and hate getting emotional in front of you, unless our pet died or something. We do it to spare you, in essence, it just has a nasty habit of backfiring.

Originally Posted by feartheflames

btw firefly -i agree with your comment about trying to avoid a huge fight, when i give the silent treatment or ask to be left alone/not talked to thats exactly what I am doing. its not mind games

when asked "what's wrong" why not say "give me a few minutes, I need to calm down before we talk"?

Then we as logical and rational creatures think "something's wrong and she needs a few minutes to calm down" as opposed to "nothing"

You know, just asking

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

when asked "what's wrong" why not say "give me a few minutes, I need to calm down before we talk"?

Then we as logical and rational creatures think "something's wrong and she needs a few minutes to calm down" as opposed to "nothing"

You know, just asking

That requires more words than we think we can get out at the time without freaking. Nothing is short and we can say it without bursting into tears or yelling.

[CaramonLS]

Originally Posted by FireFly

That requires more words than we think we can get out at the time without freaking. Nothing is short and we can say it without bursting into tears or yelling.

Short of your guy killing a kitten in front of you, what would really make you so emotional?

[TheyCallMeBruce]

I get women.

102. Women like Unicorns. Buy her a giant unicorn for maximum happiness.

103. Women like Hello Kitty. Buy her a giant Hello Kitty plush toy for maximum happiness.

104. Women are like Tranformers. One minute, they're a car, the next minute, they're a 18 foot robot.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by CaramonLS

Short of your guy killing a kitten in front of you, what would really make you so emotional?

- not taking out the garbage

- leaving the toilet seat up

- asking for a beer while you're watching the game, even though she's up and in the kitchen

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

- not taking out the garbage

- leaving the toilet seat up

- asking for a beer while you're watching the game, even though she's up and in the kitchen

forgetting your anniversary/birthday/other special event,

finding lipstick on your collar,

having a horrid day at work only to have your man come home to say "I'm going out with the boys tonight! See you later!" and leaving when all you do is want to vent first.

Really, there are thousands of things men do that make us want to cry, especially when we're already hormonal.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I'm not sure it's a head game though... it's a way of avoiding a blow out argument at that exact moment. Sure, we should probably approach you later on the subject, but we're emotional beings and hate getting emotional in front of you, unless our pet died or something. We do it to spare you, in essence, it just has a nasty habit of backfiring.

Then don't get emotional. You have more control over your emotions than you think you do. And it doesn't have to be a blow out argument, problem is you choose to go that way.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Dion

Then don't get emotional. You have more control over your emotions than you think you do. And it doesn't have to be a blow out argument, problem is you choose to go that way.

Yeah huh. That's what the calming down process is for.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by FireFly

having a horrid day at work only to have your man come home to say "I'm going out with the boys tonight! See you later!" and leaving when all you do is want to vent first.

What would be so wrong with saying you have a problem you want to talk about and can we discuss it when you get home? You can't expect everyone else to be there for you at the drop of a dime. That's a tad selfish and unfair.