60 Things Men Should Know About Women!!

[sadora]

A girl friend of mine sent me this and while this is pretty funny, there's some stuff on there that most of us guys can learn from.

60 Things Men Need To Understand About Women

1. Girls don't want to be sluts. But we walk a fine line because we have to be the Madonna or the whore.

2. "Sooo..." is a way many girls start their conversations, 'cause we're hoping you'll jump in and talk about yourself. We don't want to seem desperate to know... everything!

3. Girls love to flirt and are damn good at it. We'll stop, though, if you give us any indication that you're the one.

4. Before girls call a guy, they've conferred with all their friends, lit candles and said a tiny prayer to make sure they don't say anything dumb or anything lovey-dovey BEFORE THE GUY DOES.

5. Girls actually don't care about the way a guy looks if he has a stellar smile.

6. Girls will do anything just to get you to notice them, including the strut, the bend-n-snap and the lip-bite.

7. A girl wants to be the only woman in your life. That means your ma's got to go, too.

8. Even if you're not dating and you're only talking, don't let a girl know that there are other women in your life... including your mom.

9. Girls need to be told they're loved consistently. You can't say it every week for a year and then just stop.

10. We hate your friends that are girls. 'Cause if we see something in you, than so do they.

11. We don't get jealous. We get murderous.

12. Girls are much more emotional than people EVEN KNOW.

13. If you say something random around a girl when she's PMS-ing or has her period, she'll slap you like a crippled idiot, yell at you, roll her eyes then run home and tell her friends you're going to dump her.

14. Girls know how important a man's ego is to him, so we cater to it.

15. Girls expect to be wined and dined without being called gold-diggers. We're not gold-diggers. We'll chip in once you prove you're not a cheap .

16. A girl can forgive a guy for almost anything if he seems like he means his apology.

17. Girls are NOT open about themselves. You have to prove yourself 100% committed in order for a girl to tell you just what her "number" is and what she did on that drunken trip to Cancun.

18. Don't test a girl: she'll withhold sex if she thinks you don't trust her... (This one is a joke... kind of)

19. It's very, very rare that a girl will fall for a guy's best friend.

20. If a girl tells you about her problems, she just needs someone to listen to her. You don't tell her how to fix it and to "get over it".

21. If you want to know if a girl likes you, just ask.

22. We may seem cool about the relationship, but we are obsessing about you to our friends about every possible detail, from penis size to why you haven't said "I love you" yet... Or why you've said it too early.

23. Girls love to brag about their guys... so give us a reason.

24. We're going to tell people you're hot, regardless of what you look like. That's how we see the guys we love.

25. Girls not only think too much, but have a network of friends to help along with the thinking. All MSN/Yahoo/AIM convos are saved and scrutinized. Same goes with e-mail, answering machine messages and texts.

26. A girl will never really ask a guy's advice, unless it's about cars, a class or other girls, in which case, you should never answer.

27. Every girl could write a sad story about lost love, or heartbreak.

28. Girls don't understand why they're the ones seen as confusing, when it's clearly men that are lost in life.

29. Girls are more mature than guys, and rejection only makes her more guarded and careful.

30. If a girl does something dumb in front of the guy, she's going to cry about it... a lot. She can only be appeased when the guy acts like he didn't notice.

31. If you're nice to others, we notice and take our cue from there.

32. If you're nice to us, we could care less about what you look like.

33. Girls want to say "I love you" the moment they mean it, but wait for you to say it first, 'cause we think you won't be able to see that we're not asking for marriage, only telling you how we feel.

34. When a girl looks calmed down, minimal makeup, genuinely happy... you're doing something right.

35. If a girl tells her friend she wants to marry a guy, it doesn't mean anything more than what it meant with the last guy. If she tells her boyfriend, it's the truth.

36. A girl will never say "leave me alone" to a guy, since she thinks that is the most hurtful thing you can say to someone you're with...

37. If we think you're the one, that IS a final decision, and can only be undone if you make it so. (Ie: cheating, ending the relationship, etc)

38. Girls can be as silly as guys. Therefore, when we say "can we talk?", we expect you to listen, 'cause this isn't just another conversation... We want to be serious when we say "can we talk?"

39. We know your friends are cool, but your friends that are girls will instantly hate US, even if they don't like you like that. This is because all girls hate other girls in a guy's life.

40. When a girl looks at you for longer than a minute, she's thinking about how much she likes you.

41. When a girl looks at you for longer than 5 minutes, she's wondering if your children will have your eyes or your nose.

42. Girls like manliness, not misogynism. Also, girls like compassionate men, not men with vaginas.

43. Girls have physical troubles you can't even imagine.

44. Girls have standards. Seriously. We put major thought into these and expect them to be fulfilled. That does not make a girl a snob.

45. Girls hate men who spend more time in front of the mirror in the morning than they do. Why are you trying to look better than us?

46. Girls talk more about guys than guys ever could. Trust us: it's all we do.

47. It's not called leading you on if a girl is trying to see if there's possibility of pursuing the relationship.

48. Girls hate that guys make seemingly rational decisions that make no emotional sense.

49. Girls around the world are consistently trying to spy on guys in some way or another to find out what the hell goes on in a guy's mind.

50. We like that you can open the pickle jar for us, but girls like it even more that you can hold her hand at a funeral.

51. Not all women are bitches. We know they're out there, but don't go lumping us all in the same group because you got rejected a few times.

52. We hate guys that are too skinny. It's worse if the guy is tall and skinny. That said, girls don't necessarily want a bodybuilder boyfriend either.

53. We know you love it girls talk about their asses/boobs/etc. Did you really think we didn't know that?

54. Girls like no-strings fiery nights of passion as much as guys do, but saying so could result in reputation problems, so guys should approach the subject.

55. There is no such thing as a shy girl after the age of 16. After that, all girls are acting. Remember, "a woman's charm is 50% illusion".

56. When a girl kisses you between your neck and shoulder and/or behind the ear, she wants to jump your bones.

57. Girls love being tickled, because the fact that you want to tickle us is so cute, but we also hate it, 'cause we make very 'tarded faces when we laugh like hyenas.

58. All girls really want is for you to offer a massage. Any body part is fine. Just the fact that you're offering is enough.

59. Not all girls are saucy minxes: we will let you know what we want and how far we'd like you to go with us. All we ask is for respect for us, whether we want one random night or a 6-month sex wait.

60. The minute a girl decides to be with you, she's already decided that anytime you need it, she'll sacrifice anything necessary to get it to you.
Anything, anytime, anywhere.

[The Goon]

Geez, I think it would be easier if I just went gay.

[keratosis]

One thing you should know about guys.
We just want to see as many girls naked, as possable.
Simple.

[sadora]

Originally Posted by keratosis

Guys just want to see as many girls naked as possable.
Simple.

Very true, but if we did more of these things it would make things easier.

[FireFly]

That list is very true, especially about the thinking stuff. We overthink everything. Or at least I do. We certainly try to act cool because we don't want you to know we're analysing everything, but we are.

[Hemi-Cuda]

Originally Posted by keratosis

One thing you should know about guys.
We just want to see as many girls naked, as possable.
Simple.

i think Jeff Foxworthy nailed it when he was talking about when women want to know what guys are thinking, which boils down to:

"I want a beer and i want to see something naked"

[Maritime Q-Scout]

1. Girls don't want to be sluts. But we walk a fine line because we have to be the Madonna or the whore.

fair point, it's a fine line I'll agree

2. "Sooo..." is a way many girls start their conversations, 'cause we're hoping you'll jump in and talk about yourself. We don't want to seem desperate to know... everything!

I wish you'd give us something more. How should I respond, so I attended Sydney Acadmey, where I was a member of the debate club and competed internationally having great success. I then went on to Cape Breton university where I obtained my bachelor's degree which gave me the qualifications to go to graduate school at Dalhousie. Upon gradution...

3. Girls love to flirt and are damn good at it. We'll stop, though, if you give us any indication that you're the one.

Guys like to flirt to, we're just better at it with girls we don't want. No pressure.

4. Before girls call a guy, they've conferred with all their friends, lit candles and said a tiny prayer to make sure they don't say anything dumb or anything lovey-dovey BEFORE THE GUY DOES.

Guys use e-mail, MSN Messenger, and Facebook. Call?

5. Girls actually don't care about the way a guy looks if he has a stellar smile.

Cool, I have a great smile. Thank you braces during first year university (yeah that was awakward)

6. Girls will do anything just to get you to notice them, including the strut, the bend-n-snap and the lip-bite.

and we love you for it

7. A girl wants to be the only woman in your life. That means your ma's got to go, too.

I won't droan on about mom, if you don't go on and on and on an on about your dad, brother, uncle, and whomever that is better at me at something like fixing cars.

8. Even if you're not dating and you're only talking, don't let a girl know that there are other women in your life... including your mom.

check, and I don't need to know about the men in your life

9. Girls need to be told they're loved consistently. You can't say it every week for a year and then just stop.

Men need beer consistently, you can't bring us one during the first period but not the second or third

10. We hate your friends that are girls. 'Cause if we see something in you, than so do they.

They're good people, and realize if we're friends we'll never date. See: Ladder theory http://www.laddertheory.com/ sorry for using logic on this one ladies

11. We don't get jealous. We get murderous.

And men will wait until the time is right for revenge... or atlest I will.

12. Girls are much more emotional than people EVEN KNOW.

I know... or I don't want to know... or yes dear

13. If you say something random around a girl when she's PMS-ing or has her period, she'll slap you like a crippled idiot, yell at you, roll her eyes then run home and tell her friends you're going to dump her.

so what am I supposed to do to rectify the situation?

14. Girls know how important a man's ego is to him, so we cater to it.

thank you

15. Girls expect to be wined and dined without being called gold-diggers. We're not gold-diggers. We'll chip in once you prove you're not a cheap .

I'm a traditionalist, I agree

16. A girl can forgive a guy for almost anything if he seems like he means his apology.

men are the same way

17. Girls are NOT open about themselves. You have to prove yourself 100% committed in order for a girl to tell you just what her "number" is and what she did on that drunken trip to Cancun.

don't ever expect us to tell you that we even went to Cancun

18. Don't test a girl: she'll withhold sex if she thinks you don't trust her... (This one is a joke... kind of)

don't test a guy, if you with hold sex, that's what your best friend or sister is for

19. It's very, very rare that a girl will fall for a guy's best friend.

really? This one I actually find the opposite, but only ever happens after the breakup (odd)

20. If a girl tells you about her problems, she just needs someone to listen to her. You don't tell her how to fix it and to "get over it".

if a guy tells you his problems, we're looking for a solution

21. If you want to know if a girl likes you, just ask.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

yeah ok....

22. We may seem cool about the relationship, but we are obsessing about you to our friends about every possible detail, from penis size to why you haven't said "I love you" yet... Or why you've said it too early.

and if we seem cool about the relationship, we're actually cool with it

23. Girls love to brag about their guys... so give us a reason.

blow me ... no I don't mean that in the bad way, give us a reason to be nice

seriously, we expect the same

24. We're going to tell people you're hot, regardless of what you look like. That's how we see the guys we love.

dido

25. Girls not only think too much, but have a network of friends to help along with the thinking. All MSN/Yahoo/AIM convos are saved and scrutinized. Same goes with e-mail, answering machine messages and texts.

yeah we know, we also know how to access them all without you knowing

26. A girl will never really ask a guy's advice, unless it's about cars, a class or other girls, in which case, you should never answer.

same as above except change cars with clothes... and other girls with well we won't go there

27. Every girl could write a sad story about lost love, or heartbreak.

so could every guy

28. Girls don't understand why they're the ones seen as confusing, when it's clearly men that are lost in life.

to a man 1 + 1 = 2 . . . to a woman 1 + 1 = cake, and we're confusing?!

29. Girls are more mature than guys, and rejection only makes her more guarded and careful.

if you reject a guy we become an alcoholic, trade ya

30. If a girl does something dumb in front of the guy, she's going to cry about it... a lot. She can only be appeased when the guy acts like he didn't notice.

pretend you didn't notice for us too would ya?

[Maritime Q-Scout]

31. If you're nice to others, we notice and take our cue from there.

dido

32. If you're nice to us, we could care less about what you look like.

dido

33. Girls want to say "I love you" the moment they mean it, but wait for you to say it first, 'cause we think you won't be able to see that we're not asking for marriage, only telling you how we feel.

we're nervous because of the whole alcoholic factor

34. When a girl looks calmed down, minimal makeup, genuinely happy... you're doing something right.

when a guy smiles at you for no reason, you're doing something right

35. If a girl tells her friend she wants to marry a guy, it doesn't mean anything more than what it meant with the last guy. If she tells her boyfriend, it's the truth.

if a guy tells his friend he wants to marry a girl, he means it

36. A girl will never say "leave me alone" to a guy, since she thinks that is the most hurtful thing you can say to someone you're with...

guys sometimes need space too, and alone time. We sort things out on our own, or atleast try to first.

37. If we think you're the one, that IS a final decision, and can only be undone if you make it so. (Ie: cheating, ending the relationship, etc)

Same for guys

38. Girls can be as silly as guys. Therefore, when we say "can we talk?", we expect you to listen, 'cause this isn't just another conversation... We want to be serious when we say "can we talk?"

if a guy says "listen" it's the same as 'can we talk'

39. We know your friends are cool, but your friends that are girls will instantly hate US, even if they don't like you like that. This is because all girls hate other girls in a guy's life.

we'll be suspicious of any guy in your life at first two... very

40. When a girl looks at you for longer than a minute, she's thinking about how much she likes you.

if a guy looks at you for longer than a minute, he's looking at your ass

41. When a girl looks at you for longer than 5 minutes, she's wondering if your children will have your eyes or your nose.

if a guy looks at you longer than 5 minutes he's looking at your boobs

42. Girls like manliness, not misogynism. Also, girls like compassionate men, not men with vaginas.

guys like it when you wear ballcaps, but not when you're a ball player

43. Girls have physical troubles you can't even imagine.

guys use logic and think rationally like you can't even imagine

44. Girls have standards. Seriously. We put major thought into these and expect them to be fulfilled. That does not make a girl a snob.

so do guys

45. Girls hate men who spend more time in front of the mirror in the morning than they do. Why are you trying to look better than us?

girls also hate men who take mere seconds to look amazing

46. Girls talk more about guys than guys ever could. Trust us: it's all we do.

guys talk more about sports that girls ever could. Trust us: it's all we do

47. It's not called leading you on if a girl is trying to see if there's possibility of pursuing the relationship.

oh it can be

48. Girls hate that guys make seemingly rational decisions that make no emotional sense.

because we look at the greater good too, we'll sacrafice ourselves for something bigger than us

49. Girls around the world are consistently trying to spy on guys in some way or another to find out what the hell goes on in a guy's mind.

dido

50. We like that you can open the pickle jar for us, but girls like it even more that you can hold her hand at a funeral.

guys like to open the pickle jar for you, they like it even more when you play with our tie when we're wearing a suit

51. Not all women are bitches. We know they're out there, but don't go lumping us all in the same group because you got rejected a few times.

not all men are s. We know they're out there, but don't go lumping us all in the same group because you got rejected a few times.

52. We hate guys that are too skinny. It's worse if the guy is tall and skinny. That said, girls don't necessarily want a bodybuilder boyfriend either.

Son of a whore... but you said in #5 my smile made up for it... bitch! What about #24?

53. We know you love it girls talk about their asses/boobs/etc. Did you really think we didn't know that?

Oh I know you knew, I just try encourage it as much as possible

54. Girls like no-strings fiery nights of passion as much as guys do, but saying so could result in reputation problems, so guys should approach the subject.

So where are you exactly?

55. There is no such thing as a shy girl after the age of 16. After that, all girls are acting. Remember, "a woman's charm is 50% illusion".

Guys can be shy, you start to flirt with us, and we flirt back, we're interested . . . period

56. When a girl kisses you between your neck and shoulder and/or behind the ear, she wants to jump your bones.

when a guy kisses you anywhere, he wants to jump your bones

57. Girls love being tickled, because the fact that you want to tickle us is so cute, but we also hate it, 'cause we make very 'tarded faces when we laugh like hyenas.

tickle us while driving, we'll swirve into oncoming traffic

58. All girls really want is for you to offer a massage. Any body part is fine. Just the fact that you're offering is enough.

We love to give them, but tell us your neck is tight, give us a queue

59. Not all girls are saucy minxes: we will let you know what we want and how far we'd like you to go with us. All we ask is for respect for us, whether we want one random night or a 6-month sex wait.

all guys are sarcastic s from time to time . . . sorry ladies

60. The minute a girl decides to be with you, she's already decided that anytime you need it, she'll sacrifice anything necessary to get it to you.
Anything, anytime, anywhere.

Same for guys, when we decide to be with you we'll die for you

[TheyCallMeBruce]

a steller smile? Well, I'm screwed.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

a steller smile? Well, I'm screwed.

yep, it's like a stellar smile only better

[Eddie Bronze]

I told you so.

[flip]

i think you forgot one or two

61. all a signifigant amount of us care about is money so buy us stuff or we'll have nothing to do with you. so make sure you have a nice car and can afford a dream wedding and a beautiful engagement ring.

62. like its explained in the 40 year old virgin... always ask a ton of q's so we can talk about ourselves and always treat us just a little bit like crap b/c we don't want someone who actually is mr. right. we want a badboy who we can change into mr right, even though it will never happen.

and no im not disillusioned and bitter, its just an observation ive made.

[Flames89]

All I saw was "blah, blah, blah"

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

29. Girls are more mature than guys, and rejection only makes her more guarded and careful.

if you reject a guy we become an alcoholic, trade ya

It's not that I become an alcoholic, but if the girl I'm chasing shuts me down, I see no reason to be a gentleman for the rest of night and I get blind, stinking drunk with my buddies, who are appreciate my inner Irishman.

[STeeLy]

You stole this off facebook didn't you?

But I don't know, I believe most of these things are actually true for people in their teens and 20s.

[PYroMaNiaC]

A very important one was forgotten.

"Nothing" means "something" We want you to care enough to find out. If you leave it alone, we will think that it's not important to you and by default, our feelings are not important. We are our feelings so that means we're not important to you. If you figure that if you leave it alone, it will go away, you'd be wrong. We file it. After time, our resentment grows and you no longer get beer hand delivered, homemade pies, or sex. If you let all the "nothings" fester long enough, you'll have a disinterested girlfriend or wife who will one day present you with divorce papers.

[sadora]

Originally Posted by STeeLy

You stole this off facebook didn't you?

But I don't know, I believe most of these things are actually true for people in their teens and 20s.

Nah, my friend might have though. She just sent it to me.

And I don't know if this just feels true for women in a certain age group. I'm in my later 20's and dated women in their 30's who fit a lot of these points to a tee.

[calf]

I saw "Soooooo..." then started nodding my head while scrolling down.

And, it's time to refresh everyone on the ladder theory

http://www.laddertheory.com/ (see # 48)

[STeeLy]

Tell your friend to also send you the 60 Things women should know about men.

That was a pretty good read too.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

A very important one was forgotten.

"Nothing" means "something" We want you to care enough to find out. If you leave it alone, we will think that it's not important to you and by default, our feelings are not important. We are our feelings so that means we're not important to you. If you figure that if you leave it alone, it will go away, you'd be wrong. We file it. After time, our resentment grows and you no longer get beer hand delivered, homemade pies, or sex. If you let all the "nothings" fester long enough, you'll have a disinterested girlfriend or wife who will one day present you with divorce papers.

Your feelings are gay.

Seriously, that has to be the biggest pile of horsecrap I've ever read. We're men, not psychics. We don't play that same kind of crap with you. That's got to be one of the most self-centered things I've ever seen and I rarely put up with chicks who pull that kind of garbage.