The parent help thread

[Chingas]

Congrats. First thing that you need to do once everyone is doing well is go get drunk with the boys.

[billybob123]

Originally Posted by Poe969

We already have a 5 and a half year old son but this morning we had a baby girl. I feel lost, I can't remember most of the things I'm supposed to do and I'm not sure if the stuff I do remember was right.

It all comes back quickly. Plus you're way less stressed over everything with the second kid, since you know the kid will live through everything you mess up, just like the first one did!

Congrats!

[OutOfTheCube]

Nothing like going upstairs at midnight to the smell of hot vomit wafting down the hallway. That was a fun night...

[CroFlames]

Bump.

My wife is getting baby fever. We have three already and I feel that’s plenty. I am super happy with my life the way it is. I’m not motivated anymore to be getting up all night tending to a needy noise machine.

Anyone gone thru this before? I worry that if I put my foot down and say no, she’ll regret it forever. If I say ok let’s do it, I’ll regret it forever.

(She agreed 4 is the absolute max)

[Whynotnow]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Bump.

My wife is getting baby fever. We have three already and I feel that’s plenty. I am super happy with my life the way it is. I’m not motivated anymore to be getting up all night tending to a needy noise machine.

Anyone gone thru this before? I worry that if I put my foot down and say no, she’ll regret it forever. If I say ok let’s do it, I’ll regret it forever.

(She agreed 4 is the absolute max)

Good luck with that. I had friends who thought they would have a fourth, then they had twins and got 4 and 5 as a package deal.

[Fuzz]

Try the altruistic angle? "The Earth is already overpopulated, and at 3, we are above our families' replacement rate by 1. Best to stop now. You know, for the Earth. Plus you can give 3 kids a better world than 4."

[Hockeyguy15]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Bump.

My wife is getting baby fever. We have three already and I feel that’s plenty. I am super happy with my life the way it is. I’m not motivated anymore to be getting up all night tending to a needy noise machine.

Anyone gone thru this before? I worry that if I put my foot down and say no, she’ll regret it forever. If I say ok let’s do it, I’ll regret it forever.

(She agreed 4 is the absolute max)

Crazy thought? Discuss it with her instead of putting your foot down.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Bump.

My wife is getting baby fever. We have three already and I feel that’s plenty. I am super happy with my life the way it is. I’m not motivated anymore to be getting up all night tending to a needy noise machine.

Anyone gone thru this before? I worry that if I put my foot down and say no, she’ll regret it forever. If I say ok let’s do it, I’ll regret it forever.

(She agreed 4 is the absolute max)

Oof.

You might need to talk to a Professional.

My absolutely 100% unqualified opinion is 'Port-Partum Depression.'

And if I am right, which I am absolutely and ultimately prepared to say that I am not, but that is nothing to trifle with.

Find someone who knows what they hell they're talking about.

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by Hockeyguy15

Crazy thought? Discuss it with her instead of putting your foot down.

Obviously we’ve been discussing it smartass.

Neither of us has put forth an ultimatum but I’m trying to get advice to avoid coming to an impasse. Was wondering if anyone else has gone thru this and what the outcome is was.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Bump.

My wife is getting baby fever. We have three already and I feel that’s plenty. I am super happy with my life the way it is. I’m not motivated anymore to be getting up all night tending to a needy noise machine.

Anyone gone thru this before? I worry that if I put my foot down and say no, she’ll regret it forever. If I say ok let’s do it, I’ll regret it forever.

(She agreed 4 is the absolute max)

The solution is very obvious.

1. Get a vasectomy.

2. Don't tell your wife.

3. Agree to try to have a fourth child.

4. Enjoy.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Obviously we’ve been discussing it smartass.

Neither of us has put forth an ultimatum but I’m trying to get advice to avoid coming to an impasse. Was wondering if anyone else has gone thru this and what the outcome is was.

Out of curiosity, how old are you guys? Is this going to impact retirements plans, like will you be in your 60s with a toddler in the house?

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

The solution is very obvious.

1. Get a vasectomy.

2. Don't tell your wife.

3. Agree to try to have a fourth child.

4. Enjoy.

What about those sperm retention headaches or notorious ball-aches that everyone is talking about?

[Locke]

"Lie to your wife"

Yeah, thats a notoriously successful strategy.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by Locke

"Lie to your wife"

Yeah, thats a notoriously successful strategy.

It's the foundation every successful marriage is built upon

[Jiri Hrdina]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Obviously we’ve been discussing it smartass.

Neither of us has put forth an ultimatum but I’m trying to get advice to avoid coming to an impasse. Was wondering if anyone else has gone thru this and what the outcome is was.

To me it’s one of those life choices where both partners have to be a yes.
Then again I’m divorced so what the hell do I know. For gods sake don’t take my advice

[flamesfever]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Bump.

My wife is getting baby fever. We have three already and I feel that’s plenty. I am super happy with my life the way it is. I’m not motivated anymore to be getting up all night tending to a needy noise machine.

Anyone gone thru this before? I worry that if I put my foot down and say no, she’ll regret it forever. If I say ok let’s do it, I’ll regret it forever.

(She agreed 4 is the absolute max)

We managed to raise three kids, and it looked at one time we may be having a fourth, but it wasn't meant to be. Had we had the fourth, it wouldn't have been the end of the world. However, that was in the days where having children was mostly unplanned.

As raising children is a huge responsibility and a lot of work, having another child should not be taken lightly. I tend to agree that you should get to a point where you are both in agreement, should you decide to have another one. Maybe getting professional help may avoid future issues.

I am no expert, but if it was me, I would probably try and assess the pros and cons, like what would the impact be on your finances and overall life plans?. Does it interfere with things like buying a house, summer home? Are there any health risks e.g. depression, genetic problems? How would the effect be on your other kids? How does it affect your plans for retirement?

I seem to recall it was Sir Winston Churchill who said, "Every couple should have at least three children, one for yourself, one for your wife, and one for your country".

[photon]

In general I feel like the no position should be the default in those kinds of situations since someone feeling forced or coerced into something they don't want feels like it has a bigger chance of causing larger issues down the road.

But as others suggested a professional might help navigate the discussion to a point where neither feel like they're being forced into something they'll regret.

Or you could agree to let the universe decide, don't try but don't not try and if it doesn't happen within a given time frame then so be it?

[PepsiFree]

You should have the 4th kid, because it’s unlikely you’ll get a government pension at this point and having 4 kids increases the chances that you’ll have a child successful enough to take care of you.

[blankall]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

You should have the 4th kid, because it’s unlikely you’ll get a government pension at this point and having 4 kids increases the chances that you’ll have a child successful enough to take care of you.

Because having children is a great way to save money? You're far more likely to have a child that will mooch off you for the next 30 years then your are to have one that will support you. Not to mention keeping your partner out of the workforce for the next 12-18 months.

I know you're probably joking.... But for anyone who just had a kid, the financials of it are a real sore point.

My advice would be not to have a fourth kid. You get degrees of freedom as the kids you gave her older. You'd be restarting the process. You're older and have less energy now. In ten years, that'll be way worse.

[powderjunkie]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

The solution is very obvious.

1. Get a vasectomy.

2. Don't tell your wife.

3. Agree to try to have a fourth child.

4. Enjoy.

5. She's pregnant?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!