What's the most painful thing you've been told?

[Geraldsh]

when I was 14 my mother and I came home from school(she was a teacher) and found a note on the table from Dad
"I'm having a heart attack and will be in bed if I get that far."
He was on the bed but sure didn't look good. I sat with him while Mom drove 2 miles to the nearest phone. He became the third patient in Alberta to survive open heart surgery. Recovery time in hospital was several months during which he cheerfully volunteered for any rehab scenario they could dream up. Three times over the next 15 years they gave him less than 6 months to live but he kept on ticking. Lived to 80.

[BlackArcher101]

Originally Posted by Geraldsh

when I was 14 my mother and I came home from school(she was a teacher) and found a note on the table from Dad
"I'm having a heart attack and will be in bed if I get that far."
He was on the bed but sure didn't look good. I sat with him while Mom drove 2 miles to the nearest phone. He became the third patient in Alberta to survive open heart surgery. Recovery time in hospital was several months during which he cheerfully volunteered for any rehab scenario they could dream up. Three times over the next 15 years they gave him less than 6 months to live but he kept on ticking. Lived to 80.

That ended way better than the way I thought it was starting.

[Insufficient Funds]

I just wanted to thank everyone who decided to post in here so far. It takes some courage putting this stuff out there and you never know, it might help someone who's dealing with something similar. Everyone's stories have been very sad to read and digest. I hope everyone's doing OK with their situations now.

[GreatWhiteEbola]

Being told that I will never walk again...was a gut punch.

Truth be told, it was a blessing for me. I was on a path of self-destruction and if I hadn't been presented with this life-altering situation I am sure I wouldn't be here today. That was 23.5 years ago.

Some of my best memories are from Glenrose Hospital in Edmonton going through hours of rehabilitation and training like an Olympian to regain some function. To my exploits in adapted sport, in particular, adapted skiing and sledge hockey... to where I am today working in a field adjacent to accessibility advocacy, I wouldn't want it any different.

[White Out 403]

My mom's cancer came back in 2016. It started when I was in an arbitration hearing with the company and just as we finished for the day, i got a call from my Moms cell but it was some lady. She said that my Mom was talking a little strange and they thought she maybe had a stroke. In hindsight, that would have been a blessing. They did some tests found nothing wrong then decided to do a scan. I remember going to work that day and my Mom told me she'd know and call me right away. When she rang and I picked up and heard her voice, I just knew right away. "David, my cancer is back". She was crying, upset, and like someone plunged a knife in my stomach.We knew what the odds were if the cancer came back. At that point forward there was an uneasy and unspoken understanding we'd be throwing hail mary after hail mary to try and save her. First we hoped it didn't spread, it did. Then we hoped she'd be a candidate for some new chemo. She wasn't. Then we hoped the chemo would work. It did but it also destroyed her organs. She was healthy, happy, active, and a volunteer for cancer connection to help others with pancreatic cancer talk it out and have support. And in less than a year we lost her. And it hurts today as much as it did when I got that phone call. I just try not to think about it.

[dissentowner]

Originally Posted by White Out 403

My mom's cancer came back in 2016. It started when I was in an arbitration hearing with the company and just as we finished for the day, i got a call from my Moms cell but it was some lady. She said that my Mom was talking a little strange and they thought she maybe had a stroke. In hindsight, that would have been a blessing. They did some tests found nothing wrong then decided to do a scan. I remember going to work that day and my Mom told me she'd know and call me right away. When she rang and I picked up and heard her voice, I just knew right away. "David, my cancer is back". She was crying, upset, and like someone plunged a knife in my stomach.We knew what the odds were if the cancer came back. At that point forward there was an uneasy and unspoken understanding we'd be throwing hail mary after hail mary to do try and save her. First we hoped it didn't spread, it did. Then we hoped she'd be a candidate for some new chemo. She wasn't. Then we hoped the chemo would work. It did but it also destroyed her organs. She was healthy, happy, active, and a volunteer for cancer connection to help others with pancreatic cancer talk it out and have support. And in less than a year we lost her. And it hurts today as much as it did when I got that phone call. I just try not to think about it.

That is rough, sorry to hear.

[Street Pharmacist]

I couldn't get any time away last spring during spring break so my wife took the boys to Alberta to see family by herself. She had got a lump checked on her breast earlier and they asked to do a follow up biopsy. They said at that point it looked benign but they'd send it to pathology just to be sure. She got the call for an urgent in person visit while on the way there. As she wasn't going to be driving back she convinced the doctor to tell her the news while driving. She called me at work and told me the news. The fear of the future, the guilt of not being there, the inability to leave work to process the news, the inability to be there to comfort her and be together killed me. It was awful.

Thankfully, she's brave, assertive, and not vain. She pushed for a full bilateral mastectomy despite it being fairly early because she didn't want to have to worry later in life. After the surgery pathology found the original tumour had grown a lot more than expected and another lump that had started to spread but as she got everything removed, we're in the clear and no other treatment needed.

[Itse]

My dad used his last opportunity to talk to me before dying of cancer to tell me that he had never loved me because I was an unwanted child (on his part, not my moms) and he just could never get over it. When I told my mom about it (she asked what we talked about), she said I was lying.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by Itse

My dad used his last opportunity to talk to me before dying of cancer to tell me that he had never loved me because I was an unwanted child (on his part, not my moms) and he just could never get over it. When I told my mom about it (she asked what we talked about), she said I was lying.

Jesus, that one might win. How can this get worse after the first sentence? It does.

[Itse]

Originally Posted by fotze2

Jesus, that one might win. How can this get worse after the first sentence? It does.

Pretty sure it's not a competition. If it is, the prizes certainly suck.

But thanks, I guess :P

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by Itse

My dad used his last opportunity to talk to me before dying of cancer to tell me that he had never loved me because I was an unwanted child (on his part, not my moms) and he just could never get over it. When I told my mom about it (she asked what we talked about), she said I was lying.

I can’t imagine that your mom did not know.

That’s a horrible story.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Itse

My dad used his last opportunity to talk to me before dying of cancer to tell me that he had never loved me because I was an unwanted child (on his part, not my moms) and he just could never get over it. When I told my mom about it (she asked what we talked about), she said I was lying.

Fuuuck dude. That's rotten. Well, we love you here if that's any consolation.

[White Out 403]

Originally Posted by Itse

My dad used his last opportunity to talk to me before dying of cancer to tell me that he had never loved me because I was an unwanted child (on his part, not my moms) and he just could never get over it. When I told my mom about it (she asked what we talked about), she said I was lying.

jesus.

[Swift]

Damn, that's harsh! Though, I do have to say that I imagined this playing out as a scene in a Kaurismaki film, in all its bleakness.

[blankall]

Originally Posted by Itse

My dad used his last opportunity to talk to me before dying of cancer to tell me that he had never loved me because I was an unwanted child (on his part, not my moms) and he just could never get over it. When I told my mom about it (she asked what we talked about), she said I was lying.

I have never understood why some people are so petty and small towards their own family. I don't have a crazy close relationship with my family, but I would never consider doing something like that or shunning a family member. My father's family is constantly getting into bizarre squabbles over nothing statements and not speaking to each other for years on end. I just don't get it.

Apart from serious and actual abuse I don't see any reason to ever hold these kind of grudges against a family member.

[Whynotnow]

Sitting in the doctors office being told my wife not only has 2 tumours in her breast but also had spread to the adjacent lymph nodes. Turns out her prognosis is pretty good, this was 2 years ago and she had surgery, chemo, and radiation. You always live with it though. It happened 6 weeks after my dad died of cancer pretty suddenly and her news rocked me, I had very little way of coping with it, knowing I needed to support her, my 2 boys and keep myself fine all while still racked with grief. Tough, tough days.

[Yamer]

####ing hell do I feel all kinds of humble. Nothing like striking off a thread with something stupid.

Come to realize I don't know what it means to be told something actually painful.

[Street Pharmacist]

Originally Posted by Yamer

####ing hell do I feel all kinds of humble. Nothing like striking off a thread with something stupid.

Come to realize I don't know what it means to be told something actually painful.

I really like this line from The World's Smallest Violin by AJR:

(Oh, my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my #### don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be sad

[fotze2]

This thread sucks!

[Street Pharmacist]

Originally Posted by Whynotnow

Sitting in the doctors office being told my wife not only has 2 tumours in her breast but also had spread to the adjacent lymph nodes. Turns out her prognosis is pretty good, this was 2 years ago and she had surgery, chemo, and radiation. You always live with it though. It happened 6 weeks after my dad died of cancer pretty suddenly and her news rocked me, I had very little way of coping with it, knowing I needed to support her, my 2 boys and keep myself fine all while still racked with grief. Tough, tough days.

That's a tough road. I felt like I wasn't prepared to be in so many roles.

I had two full time pharmacists and one part time. One of my Pharmacists decided to take on their own store in another town and gave their notice. Two weeks later my other pharmacist gave their notice as they were moving. One week after that we got the news. I couldn't get any relief/locum Pharmacists at all so I was working all the time and trying to keep the boys' lives as normal as possible, while still trying to be there for my wife. Most of the appointments were an hour away in Kamloops so lots of travel and trying to beg pharmacist friends to help out. The struggle was overwhelming trying to hold it all together.

This is where community kicked in. Salmon Arm is a pretty small city (20,000ish). We had only moved here a little over 1 year earlier and didn't know to many people but both my wife and I are fairly outgoing and had met quite a few people. A Pharmacist in a competing pharmacy called me up and gave me the info for a relief Pharmacist that was going to cover his holidays and he cancelled his holidays and arranged things so I could use him before he called me. Some of the Moms from my kids school helped out with the boys whenever we had to go out of town. After the surgery we came home to fresh bread and meals every night for a week, some from people we barely even knew. There was a knock on the door and fresh cinnamon buns were on the welcome mat. Those people will never know just how much that helped