Random Thought Thread v2

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Swift

That's one where I actually prefer the censored re-recorded version Purple Hills.

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I'm condo sitting at the moment, sitting on a balcony overlooking a retail plaza. I've long thought that drive through ATMs are terrible, just a real solid example of North American car culture and laziness combined. Then I wondered if anyone even uses them these days, who takes out cash anymore? only to see a four car lineup at one point, and of course then one of the drivers gets his cash and parks right outside the restaurant next door to the bank. Guy couldn't even walk thirty steps apparently.

If you want perspective on the downfall of humanity just sit back, relax and observe the goings on of the local strip-mall.

[Brendone]

Originally Posted by Locke

If you want perspective on the downfall of humanity just sit back, relax and observe the goings on of the local strip-mall.

The strip mall I sometimes grab take out from has a daycare. If I get there early I enjoy the chaos of after work child pick up. Between the parking lot road rage (parents have no regard for speed limits in this situation), and the tantrums half the kids throw as wired parents try to coax them into their double parked car… it’s a heck of a show. A close second are the soccer moms arriving late for their hot yoga class.

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by Hemi-Cuda

I had no idea what pit vipers were, so I looked it up. And their website is something else

https://ca.pitviper.com/

Not gonna lie, that website is pretty awesome.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Brendone

The strip mall I sometimes grab take out from has a daycare. If I get there early I enjoy the chaos of after work child pick up. Between the parking lot road rage (parents have no regard for speed limits in this situation), and the tantrums half the kids throw as wired parents try to coax them into their double parked car… it’s a heck of a show. A close second are the soccer moms arriving late for their hot yoga class.

Theres one by my place and I go in there now and then, Post Office, Pharmacy, etc.

And its insane. It was bad before, dont get me wrong, but they plunked a Drive-thru McDonald's across from a Drive-thru Starbucks which are directly across from the Daycare.

Its....it is a Dystopian Nightmare.

But what always blows me away is...this is a strip mall. Presumably it was planned. Why is there not enough parking? Why is a pain to get in and out of? Why cant 2 cars pass each other because the lanes arent wide enough?

What assclown designed this place??

[Brendone]

Originally Posted by Locke

What assclown designed this place??

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Brendone

In fairness, the world that guy designed was pretty thorough...

He fooled that dude for like 30 years.

[Brendone]

Originally Posted by Locke

In fairness, the world that guy designed was pretty thorough...

He fooled that dude for like 30 years.

I figure he’s expanded his experiment to a “rats in a maze / survivor” type deal. That’s the only thing that explains these area layouts.

“Now add a cannabis store next to the daycare, and reduce the entry points by one.”

[edslunch]

GUIDs are like spermatozoa. We generate billions of them but many of them are never used, just unique fingerprints that are lost for eternity.

[TheIronMaiden]

Whenever I have to go into an insurance office, I make sure to take a handful of pens with me when I leave. I don't care I will look the worker in the eye. I paid for these pens.

[Sliver]

Have you no pen loyalty? If it's not a Bic four-colour pen I won't use it. Random pens suck balls.

[DoubleF]

Running off with $0.30 pens and being happy about it is like not paying for grocery bags at the store and being happy about it. I don't get it when people wander off with these pens or ultra basic swag pens like it's some form of a victory. It's like borderline walking off with garbage.

My minimum standard is a $1.50 Pentel RSVP. Anything thinner than that is hard to do anything more than a signature or two or fill in a single page form. Even then, my daily drivers are typically like 5-10x that amount and I often obtain pen refills to keep them going.

[TheIronMaiden]

I should have known there would be some real pen snobs. I still hand write my notes, when I find a good free pen I take as many as I can. I am going to empty that pen in a month or less if I don't lose it before then.

[Sainters7]

Originally Posted by DoubleF

Develop a little bit of a belly. Wear white khaki shorts. Hot day, so take shirt off to cool down...



Oh frig off! I look like Randy from the trailer park boys!

Just need a black cowboy hat and backpack and you're all set!

[DoubleF]

Originally Posted by TheIronMaiden

I should have known there would be some real pen snobs. I still hand write my notes, when I find a good free pen I take as many as I can. I am going to empty that pen in a month or less if I don't lose it before then.

There's nothing wrong with using those pens, but the excitement around them I don't get.

And you're not emptying that pen in a month. They're jamming often and failing within the month. That's why I'm saying it's like borderline running off with garbage. I constantly buy cheap pens and put freebie pens I get from conferences for clients to use/steal. I've seen the real world usage numbers on those things and they're pretty meh. I've tested a ton of pens. Pens I hate, I leave out for clients to use/steal after a while. Good stuff I kept for my own or other colleague's use. I write a lot too and I don't like looking like a knob checking through half a dozen pens to find a working one.

You can buy a box of 12 Bic Cristals for less than $3 that are better than freebie pens. Same for Papermate PMOP at around $0.40-0.60, Onyx at $0.75 and a few others in the <$1.00 range. I know this because I got sick and tired of pens that failed at the most inopportune times or blew up and leaked everywhere. I and a few others legitimately use up all the ink in our pens. The Onyx are good, but last only about 45-90 days before being used up. The closest to that look are the Pilot HiTech point which has a tendency to explode. Papermate PMOP last longest of that style of pen, but BIC Cristal are at a price point that better factors in theft of cheap pens. I find many papermate and pentels can get close to the end of the ink before failing. But those typically take like 1-3 years of near daily use to reach that point. We've done this a lot with the RSVPs.

Lots of freebies don't work out of the box and the ball nib fails or clogs soon after it is used/if it's rarely used. Most of the pen inserts still have a ton of ink left afterwards because the ball gets stuck and ink stops moving... unless someone is a pen sucker. I've met one before. Clean as F pen inserts and I bet he might get stomach cancer from all the ink he's ingesting.

The only thing worse I've ever seen to freebie pens is the Papermate Eagle. Those are complete trash that flex like a wet noodle in your hand. I don't think plastic straws flexed as much as these pens did.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by TheIronMaiden

Whenever I have to go into an insurance office, I make sure to take a handful of pens with me when I leave. I don't care I will look the worker in the eye. I paid for these pens.

I can’t say I have ever stepped foot in an insurance office.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by TheIronMaiden

Whenever I have to go into an insurance office, I make sure to take a handful of pens with me when I leave. I don't care I will look the worker in the eye. I paid for these pens.

Lol!

Okay, so during COVID, remember that time where we were wiping down all surfaces and sanitizing pens? Well...ain't nobody got time for that.

So my clients need to sign off on their tax returns, and some of them arent super techno-keen so they'd come in to the office, masked up, social distanced, the whole nine yards.

But I'm not sanitizing pens, screw that noise. So I ordered a crapload of the cheapest pens humanity has ever laid eyes upon from Amazon, I dont even remember what they cost but it was cheap like Borscht.

It was something like 1000 pens for $10 or some crap like that and I put up a sign: "Free Pen, do NOT put it back."

And that worked, it actually worked pretty well. But let me illustrate precisely how cheap these pens were and how the entire ordeal turned into a human experiment that rapidly descended into a cartoon.

It is some sort of inherent human nature that one removes the cap of the pen and places it on the butt of the pen, where one would naturally keep the cap whilst using the pen.

But oh no! These pens were so goddamned cheap that the cap actually didnt fit over the butt of the pen. These were the cheapest of the cheap, no logo just a white body with a black cap, not even a manufacturer's logo. At least BIC puts their logo on the pens. Not whoever these clowns were.

Initially I didnt think anything of it. I thought people were struggling or just didnt care but eventually I came to realize that these things were so goddamned cheap that short of a hydraulic press you are not getting that cap onto the back of that pen.

It is just not a thing that is going to happen.

So for 18 months I watched people struggle with this. It was...hilarious.

Just watching people grow more and more frustrated, you'd probably be surprised at how many people got angry and just threw the cap across the room. My receptionist and I started a betting pool. I bought a stop-watch and everything.

After a while it seemed cruel so we put up a sign saying that the cap doesnt fit on the back.

I'm almost out of them now, but man...COVID, what a time to be alive!

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Not gonna lie, I kinda feel the urge to try the pen cap challenge.

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

I feel like if you had a heat gun...

[DoubleF]

Originally Posted by CorsiHockeyLeague

I feel like if you had a heat gun...

I think I ran into these pens that Locke is describing in post secondary customized as some firm's swag. I used boiling hot water instead of a heat gun and the resulting effect was the pen cap didn't fit on the tip nor the end of the pen. IIRC the issue is that the whole pen is a cone. You need some spot where it's a cylinder ish or has some spot for the pen to stay lodged. This specific pen didn't have that.

We also used to slam the pens to see who could split the cap like a banana peel. After a while, we just had exploded pens everywhere.

[cam_wmh]

Chucktown burnt down