__________________
"The problem with any ideology is that it gives the answer before you look at the evidence."
—Bill Clinton
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance--it is the illusion of knowledge."
—Daniel J. Boorstin, historian, former Librarian of Congress
"But the Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity"
—WKRP in Cincinatti
Here at Calgary Puck we like to take time out of our sports filled day, during Hockey's off-season (for us anyways) to tackle some of society's more pressing concerns. For example the Pirate to Non-Pirate ratio that to this very day plagues Canadian society. The over-abundant Ninja population and the problems they cause.
Should Canada intitate an aggressive Pirate training and hiring program to correct this ratio issue? Can we, as a culture and society allow this time-honoured and traditional profession to simply vanish?
Can we allow Ninjas to roam freely through our land, doing as they please, or should they be legislated and controlled, much like the gun control program? Can they be? Would the legislator most likely face his own death by Katana blade? Can the Ninja control program work? Is it the only way to save the pirates?
These are the tough questions, that only we, here at CP are courageous enough to tackle.
Locke.
__________________ The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
A woman denied a teaching degree on the eve of graduation because of a MySpace photo has sued the university.Millersville University instead granted Stacy Snyder a degree in English last year after learning of her Web-published picture, which bore the caption “Drunken Pirate.”
So how can we have more pirates when universities are not granting them degrees based on thier priateness?
Clearly part of the Ninja Anti-Priate Agenda
__________________ "Calgary Flames is the best team in all the land" - My Brainwashed Son
great, now i have to drag myslef, hungover, to blockbuster to satisfy my craving to watch pirates of the carribean. thanks, buggers!
Ps. this thread is very funny
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Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.
Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!
So how can we have more pirates when universities are not granting them degrees based on thier priateness?
Clearly part of the Ninja Anti-Priate Agenda
I didn't realize how deep the Ninja conspiracy went, they control our schools now too? We are living in strictly controlled "Ninja-State." BUt how can we fight back? I cant beat a Ninja, they would kick my ass.
Unfortunately the Pirates are too few to come to our aid.....who do we call?
Locke.
__________________ The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
Unfortunately the Pirates are too few to come to our aid.....who do we call?
Locke.
uh...need I say, Ghostbusters?
__________________
Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.
Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!
thank you. i am extremely content now.
BTW, we have managed to turn global warming into ninjas, pirates, and ghostbusters. this is the best thread going right now, and makes for a pretty nice little sunday.
__________________
Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.
Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!
I didn't realize how deep the Ninja conspiracy went, they control our schools now too? We are living in strictly controlled "Ninja-State." BUt how can we fight back? I cant beat a Ninja, they would kick my ass.
Unfortunately the Pirates are too few to come to our aid.....who do we call?
Locke.
No kidding. I mean a ninja will kill a whole town at the drop of a spoon. I have a completely credible source regarding this incident, which can be found here:
I agree with all the previous posts regarding the dire need to increase the pirate population in order to stem the tide of global warming.
A ninja population explosion has been identified above as one factor leading to the near extinction of pirates world-wide. This is undoubtably correct.
But, there is another factor that is being overlooked. As many of you know, honey bees are dying off in epic proportions. This is another factor leading to global warming, but it is not merely a symptom as some journalists are attempting to imply on tabloid news outfits such as CNN and BBC.
You see, global warming isn't killing the bees off. The death of bees is causing global warming.
How, you may ask? Simple. The main motivation for becoming a pirate these days (aside from the lifestyle and benefits plan) is to steal honey. Yes, to raid the Queen's shipping lanes for that sweet, sweet nectar is, for many, the sole pecunairy reason why anyone would want to become a pirate in the first place.
But with bees dying off, there's less honey available. Coupled with the constant threat of ninja attacks (and not to mention the high expense of the Ghostbusters, which prevents wannabe pirates from employing an obvious means of protection from said ninja attacks) and the motivation for becoming a pirate just ain't what it used to be.
And, as we've already established above, less pirates means higher temperatures world-wide.
So rant about the loss of pirates and the connection to global warming all you want, but let's not forget one of the chief reasons why there are fewer pirates these days - because there are fewer bees.
(Please forgive this quite obvious attempt to revive this thread. I just thought it was too funny to die so soon.)
