You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Now with 3x more gears...

[DigitalCarpenter]

Originally Posted by Matata

I hate that no barbers in my area take appointments and I have to budget 1.5 hours to get a 20 minute haircut.

Then go to a stylist, my wife books appointments all the time. I am pretty sure you could find someone who does a good job.

I do like the man-spa experience of the barber but you need to go at off peak times.

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

I dunno though, I'm not going to pretend to know anything about you or her or your situation, but ten years is a long time and people can change -- especially in their older years I've heard many stories of mothers / fathers re-building fractured relationships with their children when starting to face their own mortality. She may be reaching out from a place of genuine compassion.

If only that were true. She has not changed her spots, I know this to be true from all accounts, from my brothers who still have limited contact with her and from other family members/family friends. She is a narcissist, she is incapable of change. Even her newish husband has called her on some of what she's said and done and all it gets him is an earful of BS and she carries on. My father, although he waited until he was on his deathbed to do so, made genuine amends for his behaviour to me and to my brothers. My mother will never do that, because it is never ever her fault. She says as much. She denies things ever happened. What has likely happened is that she's gone to yet another course at her church and this is the result. My brothers get the form letters too. It's very hard to explain it all to people who may not have a frame of reference for the sort of abuse that happened. I could probably get past the physical abuse - that stopped in my mid 20s when I put a stop to it. It's.....*gestures*....everything else. I truly do appreciate your kind words though, Cube.

Originally Posted by Doctorfever

Really an unfortunate situation. I hope that you are able to make peace with your mother someday. But that of course is just an opinion from someone who has very little knowledge of what you experienced.

I guess, look out for yourself and your family first, maybe one day thing will change, maybe not. Your choice.

Hope you are able to post more “what makes me happy” things in the future…. I enjoy those posts.

I don't hate her. Hate is such an incredible emotion and I've applied it to only 2 people in my life, one of whom is dead, so it's moot now (not my dad). I am......indifferent. I generally do not think about her on a daily basis. It can be months before she crosses my mind. I have done a lot of very hard work to get to the place of peace that both I and my family now enjoy. The toxicity is just....gone. We live quiet lives, I have been able to discover who I am outside of her presence, I have learned just how valuable that peace is. I just needed to get it/this? out so that I can begin to move past it again. It disturbs our balance for a few days and then it's just done. Thank you also to you for your kind words, Doc.

[getbak]

I dare say, if you're getting a "man spa" experience, you're not going to a real barber shop.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by getbak

I dare say, if you're getting a "man spa" experience, you're not going to a real barber shop.

What makes one a “real” barber and the other a “fake” barber?

Just a guy named Geppetto who can only do crew cuts?

[GordonBlue]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

I dunno though, I'm not going to pretend to know anything about you or her or your situation, but ten years is a long time and people can change -- especially in their older years I've heard many stories of mothers / fathers re-building fractured relationships with their children when starting to face their own mortality. She may be reaching out from a place of genuine compassion.

I'm sorry. What you've seen is the exact opposite form what I've seen over the years. Those cases are few and far between, and the appearance of reaching out with genuine compassion and having changed is just a facade.

It's more likely that time has further solidified who they are, and they want contact for some self serving narcissistic reason.

[GordonBlue]

Originally Posted by DigitalCarpenter

Then go to a stylist, my wife books appointments all the time. I am pretty sure you could find someone who does a good job.

I do like the man-spa experience of the barber but you need to go at off peak times.

I've found places that offer a "man spa" like experience are covering for the act they have crappy barbers. example: Tommy Guns

[getbak]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

What makes one a “real” barber and the other a “fake” barber?

Just a guy named Geppetto who can only do crew cuts?

Yup.

An old Lebanese guy who will make your hair shorter than it was when you walked in the door. A couple of rickety mismatched chairs to sit on while you wait your turn with a few copies of today's Sun and maybe a few magazines from sometime in the last 10 years to flip through while you wait. An old dusty CRT showing TSN or maybe cartoons if someone brought their kid in.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Matata

I hate that no barbers in my area take appointments and I have to budget 1.5 hours to get a 20 minute haircut.

Dude...I feel your pain.

I know this seems like a relatively minor gear grinder, but for years we had a family friend (and eventual client) who had her own Barber shop.

And it worked out okay for a while, but she wanted that 'Authentic Barber Shop' aesthetic. Where people hang around and chat etc.

Well I dont have the time or inclination for that. My wife likes it when my hair is cut. I want to book a time, get it done and get out. I dont have all day to shoot the breeze with the entire neighbourhood.

So now I have a new Barber.

Because you're absolutely right. Its a 20 minute haircut and you could be waiting hours....no way...

[Fuzz]

My barber used to have that annoying show up and wait, then the pandemic hit. They went to online bookings, and it is so so so much better. In and out in 20 minutes, every time. He says he likes it a lot more, too. Thank you pandemic!

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by getbak

Yup.

An old Lebanese guy who will make your hair shorter than it was when you walked in the door. A couple of rickety mismatched chairs to sit on while you wait your turn with a few copies of today's Sun and maybe a few magazines from sometime in the last 10 years to flip through while you wait. An old dusty CRT showing TSN or maybe cartoons if someone brought their kid in.

I really don't like this kind of discrimination actually.

The truer statement is it needs to be any middle eastern guy - not just Lebanese.

[topfiverecords]

My guy is Moroccan. Best hair cuts I’ve ever had. Except when Morocco is in the World Cup semi final during your appointment.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

My guy is Moroccan. Best hair cuts I’ve ever had. Except when Morocco is in the World Cup semi final during your appointment.

Mine drives an 80's Camaro and plays drums. He rocks.

[TheIronMaiden]

[DigitalCarpenter]

Originally Posted by getbak

Yup.

An old Lebanese guy who will make your hair shorter than it was when you walked in the door. A couple of rickety mismatched chairs to sit on while you wait your turn with a few copies of today's Sun and maybe a few magazines from sometime in the last 10 years to flip through while you wait. An old dusty CRT showing TSN or maybe cartoons if someone brought their kid in.

Mine is run by a group of Arabic men and they take their manscaping seriously.

Man spa to me is hot towel / straight blade shaving and them spending 20 minutes on your beard trim to make sure it looks just right.

Been to Tommy Gun's once. Attractive women doing terrible haircuts about sums it up.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by DigitalCarpenter

Mine is run by a group of Arabic men and they take their manscaping seriously.

Man spa to me is hot towel / straight blade shaving and them spending 20 minutes on your beard trim to make sure it looks just right.

Been to Tommy Gun's once. Attractive women doing terrible haircuts about sums it up.

Lol!

"I make look good!"

My God...that man was not underselling! They are talented.

[Wormius]

Does “manscaping” have an alternate meaning? If not… interesting.

[SutterBrother]

My brother is dating/living with a woman who very clearly has an eating disorder and may be an alcoholic. He seems totally blind to it, and I think his main attaction is to EDIT - being a Dad for her young children.

He and I never got along growing up (like NEVER), so as an adult I made a concious choice to make more of an effort to do so as a gift to my parents. Basically I ignored all the #### that bothered me about him, and tried to be less of a confrontational a-hole. Just let everything slide and pretend he was more of a casual aquaintence.

It actually worked pretty well, and was maybe the best thing I ever did for my folks.

During the pandemic he and his wife of 20 years divorced. It was sad, but they had grown in different directions.

A few months later, he paired up with one of his employees - she was the skinniest woman I'd ever seen. He's a pilot, so jets around a lot, and she was his office manager. She had 2 girls under age 5 from a previous marriage, and didn't have custody so only saw them on weekends.

The two of them would jet around the world together and send photos from Europe, Carribean etc. Eventually flew her out to my area so we could meet her. She was nice enough, but seeing in person - yeah. All doubts removed.

We went out for breakfast. She had a margarita at 8am and no food. At dinner, she disappeared for 90 min to the bathroom. :-(

I didn't say anything. They moved in together. He loves (always loved) spending time with kids, but his ex wife didn't want any. Now he has a couple "weekend" tots to hang out with and clearly loves it.

Took her to see my parents. Parents say she's a "floozy" and clearly has "anorexia".

Don't really know what to do... other than maybe "this is none of my business".

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by SutterBrother

My brother is dating/living with a woman who very clearly has an eating disorder and may be an alcoholic. He seems totally blind to it, and I think his main attaction is to her young children.

He and I never got along growing up (like NEVER), so as an adult I made a concious choice to make more of an effort to do so as a gift to my parents. Basically I ignored all the #### that bothered me about him, and tried to be less of a confrontational a-hole. Just let everything slide and pretend he was more of a casual aquaintence.

It actually worked pretty well, and was maybe the best thing I ever did for my folks.

During the pandemic he and his wife of 20 years divorced. It was sad, but they had grown in different directions.

A few months later, he paired up with one of his employees - she was the skinniest woman I'd ever seen. He's a pilot, so jets around a lot, and she was his office manager. She had 2 girls under age 5 from a previous marriage, and didn't have custody so only saw them on weekends.

The two of them would jet around the world together and send photos from Europe, Carribean etc. Eventually flew her out to my area so we could meet her. She was nice enough, but seeing in person - yeah. All doubts removed.

We went out for breakfast. She had a margarita at 8am and no food. At dinner, she disappeared for 90 min to the bathroom. :-(

I didn't say anything. They moved in together. He loves (always loved) spending time with kids, but his ex wife didn't want any. Now he has a couple "weekend" tots to hang out with and clearly loves it.

Took her to see my parents. Parents say she's a "floozy" and clearly has "anorexia".

Don't really know what to do... other than maybe "this is none of my business".

I misunderstood this, and read the entire post waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[SutterBrother]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

I misunderstood this, and read the entire post waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Ah, yeah, I can see that.

[Dentoman]

Originally Posted by Matata

I hate that no barbers in my area take appointments and I have to budget 1.5 hours to get a 20 minute haircut.

If you are in Calgary, Razor's Edge has multiple locations that take appointments. I go to the one in Royal Oak. Always happy.