Canucks owner accused of abusing his kids

[activeStick]

Originally Posted by Textcritic

That is not far off from a ball-park price for a pretty ordinary couch in today's market, no?

Sent from my SM-G986W using Tapatalk

Depends on one's definition of "ordinary". You can walk out of Ikea with a couch for probably $1,500.

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by Minnie

I dunno, do you also tell him that he is the R word his entire life, that no one will ever love him as an adult, that even if someone loves him enough to be with him (marriage, partnership, whatever), that eventually they will just want to beat his brains in, take any kids they might have, and commit him to a psychiatric facility, so that they can divorce him and go on to marry someone leaps & bounds better for him? Will you tell his spouse/partner that they should leave him, that he's not worth it, that he will just make them sad/mad/crazy?

How about every mistake he makes, if you're people of faith, do you tell him that he must re-accept jesus into his heart? Do you try & cast demons out of him any time he disobeys?

Do you or will you make him responsible for his siblings behaviour? Will every mistake they make be on him? If they get into drugs, will that be his fault too?

Will you manipulate his siblings against him/each other, so they can't compare notes on what you're doing to him/them, so they never speak up about it until they're adults?

If someone sexually abuses him or his siblings (should he have any), will you tell him "everything happens for a reason, that person is a good christian man, you shouldn't destroy his witness, you should forgive him and act like nothing happened, and for heaven's sake, why on earth would you keep your children away from him, they should get to know their family?"

Will you tell other family members that he's a devil child, will you lie about him to them, making out like he's basically Damien so they heap scorn and censure on him?

Will you send people to speak to him, after he cuts you off for his own sanity, to plead your case, convincing them that you were the best parent ever, that you have no idea why he'd cut you off, please oh please, make sure my beautiful boy knows I love him and will welcome him back into my arms at any time?

Will you give him birthday gifts like a chocolate bar and a magazine, while he watches his siblings get impressive, expensive birthday gifts, all whilst telling him you couldn't possibly afford anything more than the chocolate bar and magazine for him, to make sure he's fully aware of his place in the family?



I could go on. And on. And on....

Short answer, no. But I know where you are going with this. So many kids are abused and not treated well by the people who should care for them the most and it's sad.

I try my absolute best to be a good dad and I heap praise and affection on all three of my little ones constantly.

[midniteowl]

Originally Posted by Textcritic

That is not far off from a ball-park price for a pretty ordinary couch in today's market, no?

Sent from my SM-G986W using Tapatalk

If that's the case then it's no biggie, just an ordinary couch.

[midniteowl]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Yeah, the couch is certainly not fancy, but it is new and it's fabric not leather. So the marker was very visible. It's L shaped.

I'm not even sure where I was going with that story with my kid and the couch.

But by all accounts, yes, Aquilini is a dickwad.

Yeah, kids are kids, you know. They don't know you're not supposed to draw on new couch. What I would do is just sigh and tell him / her that's wrong and don't do it again, in a normal tone. Or I'd add a little theatrics to it, like a a teary kinda way, they'll come and say " I'm sorry". But of course, they might still do it again because they are kids.

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Short answer, no. But I know where you are going with this. So many kids are abused and not treated well by the people who should care for them the most and it's sad.

I try my absolute best to be a good dad and I heap praise and affection on all three of my little ones constantly.

Where was I going with it?

[PepsiFree]

Pretty impressed someone pulled out the jilted ex/evil headshrinker combo that quickly.

I’m sure they’re all lying or something. Because.

[GullFoss]

Terrible, rich people fighting in court over money. *yawn*

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by GullFoss

Terrible, rich people fighting in court over money. *yawn*

I have no doubt the guy was a poor dad and I certainly don't defend his actions but this is all about money at the end of the day.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

I try my absolute best to be a good dad and I heap praise and affection on all three of my little ones constantly.

That is the key.


I still struggle with it, (16 and 18 are my kids), but drowning them in love helps. It doesn't mean you don't discipline them or talk about what they need to do better. But you do it in a way that you would like to receive that feedback.

Also honesty, sometimes I do still snap at them. In those cases I try to own it and apologize and provide context to why I snapped (generally it is something other than them or their actions, they just got caught up in it).

It's helped me to have, what I think is a pretty good loving relationship with both kids. They both hug me and say they love me in front of their friends (even the 16 yr old boy).

We are honest with each other.

[P-DAZZLE]

I coached one of these kids when they were a teenager. Super pleasant, always having fun, just wanted what was best for the team. The team had a lot of rich kids and I expected at least some entitlement from child/family of the wealth level an NHL owner. Not my experience. Lovely kid.

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by P-DAZZLE

I coached one of these kids when they were a teenager. Super pleasant, always having fun, just wanted what was best for the team. The team had a lot of rich kids and I expected at least some entitlement from child/family of the wealth level an NHL owner. Not my experience. Lovely kid.

Funny thing is that's normally a sign of good parenting. Maybe the mother did a good job with the kids.

[Matata]

Dad probably never spent time with the kids and in the brief time they did have together, he'd feel compelled to over-parent and just run them over.

You can buy a good upbringing for your kids, nothing will ever equal parental attention and care, but you can still buy something pretty good.

[bc-chris]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Yeah, the couch is certainly not fancy, but it is new and it's fabric not leather. So the marker was very visible. It's L shaped.

I'm not even sure where I was going with that story with my kid and the couch.

But by all accounts, yes, Aquilini is a dickwad.

i love "L" shaped couches - they are great to stretch out on... be we always called them sectionals

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

It's not just about positively reinforcing children .. which is huge. It's also important to let them express themselves and be authentic. If you tell them they aren't acceptable when they are upset then they will push those emotions down because they want to bond with the parent . What that does is create depression and deep anger in those kids later that comes out in unhealthy ways when it is triggered . Also important to let children feel their emotions in a healthy way and empathize in those moments rather than shame them for it because of how it looks . This is a critical mistake that even well meaning and loving parents make a lot of the time.

Kids can be traumatized even in good environments by well meaning parents just because they aren't connecting with their kid in a way that promotes healthy self regulation of emotions and a feeling of connected-ness or feeling understood