The Ongoing "Am I the %^&hole?" Thread

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

Haha, kitties are so much fun.

[peter12]

I'm team dog, but I will admit a growing affection for cats. They are funny buggers.

[Enoch Root]

Seeing this thread, I have to tell my story. But first, very simply, it's YOUR pet, have them go on YOUR lawn. Expecting other people to be okay with your pet ####ting or pissing on their lawn, is so obliviously obtuse, it's difficult to fathom. Name any other situation in society, that is anything like letting your dog crap on someone else's lawn, that is considered at all acceptable. Go ahead.

Okay, so my story. My house is on a corner, but even worse, I have one of those mini, park-strips that they have in the burbs here beside/behind me. It runs from behind my house, along the backyard of maybe twenty houses, to the other end of the street. No doubt it was designed as park area (there are children's play apparatuses (apparatii ?) and such, but in reality, it is a doggie poop-park. Which is fine, as long as people are respectful of the rules.

Anyway, with this park right beside me (or behind me, depending on perspective), there is a LOT of dog traffic that walks past my house to get to the park. And of course, some dogs decide that my grass is too tempting to pass up, along their way. I wouldn't get too fussed about that, except for 2 things: 1) some people don't 'bag', and 2) the piss burns holes in my grass - anyone that thinks it doesn't, I revert you to (again) have your dog do it on your own grass and report back to us in a year.

Anyway, I'm outside one day and these 2 ladies (LOL) walk by with their 2 dogs. I have seen these ladies before, and let's just say that they are less concerned about my grass than I am.

On this day, they are walking towards the park, at the side of my house. They are maybe 20 to 30 feet from the park. MAYBE. Like 8 or 10 more steps, and they pass the fence and actually enter the park. But apparently that is just too far, and neither dog can make it. So both dogs are allowed to climb up the hill of my lawn towards my house (let's call it 15 ft from sidewalk to the side of my house).

To be clear, I am not talking about them being on the edge of the sidewalk and lifting their leg here, these ladies allowed their dogs to venture right up to the wall of my house, where they both began to have a crap.

But that is not the best part. The best part is that both the ladies walked up onto my lawn with the dogs. They just marched right on over, and stood there chatting, while the little pooches assessed their targets.

I am standing not far away, like 15 or 20 ft maybe, (they had to walk past me to get where they now were) and I'm watching all this, so I said "excuse me ladies, would you mind taking your dogs to the park to do that?" (you know, the park that you could probably spit on, from where you're standing. The one that is right there on the other side of the fence that is mere feet from where you are now. The park that you were heading to, before you decided to have a tea party on my yard)

The ladies - interrupted from their conversation - lifted their heads, stared at me for a couple seconds, then turned back to each other and resumed their conversation. On. My. Lawn.

Okay, now I'm a bit pissed. First, I chuckled in disbelief. But I couldn't let it go. So I said "get off of my ####ing lawn!" And they both looked at me again, and then waited for their little monsters to finish their business. Then slowly started making their way to the park. No baggies.

The next year I removed all the grass on my property.

[#-3]

Originally Posted by GGG

Is it your property or the easement at the front of your property?

I actually think the easement is still your property, it is just that you do not have the right to restrict the government or utilities from accessing that space.

For the record, team keep your poop off my lawn, the city owns lawn across the street they let dogs crap on

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Originally Posted by Enoch Root

Okay, now I'm a bit pissed. First, I chuckled in disbelief. But I couldn't let it go. So I said "get off of my ####ing lawn!" And they both looked at me again, and then waited for their little monsters to finish their business. Then slowly started making their way to the park. No baggies.

The next year I removed all the grass on my property.

The problem here is that they know where you live, so if you pepper spray them in the face, you'll get in trouble.

One option would be to surreptitiously follow them back to wherever they live, and make a note of the address. Then find every friend you have with a dog, go to their house with an army of pooches, and turn their yard into a mess. Hell, maybe a CP jihad would be in order.

I can't help though, my cat doesn't do leashes.

[RichieRich]

Originally Posted by CorsiHockeyLeague

The problem here is that they know where you live, so if you pepper spray them in the face, you'll get in trouble.

One option would be to surreptitiously follow them back to wherever they live, and make a note of the address. Then find every friend you have with a dog, go to their house with an army of pooches, and turn their yard into a mess. Hell, maybe a CP jihad would be in order.

I can't help though, my cat doesn't do leashes.

Can I bring a cat, on a leash (of course), to eat their grass, puke it up on the front step, then p*ss and p00 on that lawn? It might take a while waiting for all that, during which the cat could dig up a few flower beds or maybe even scratch a screen door. I'm open to it...

[nfotiu]

Since everyone keeps bringing it up as an equivalency, I have taken a #### on a neighbor's front yard. I've had some close calls running before but this time I just wasn't going to make it home and it was either filling my shorts or i was ducking behind the bushes in a front yard. i'm not proud of it and not happy and no I didn't have anything to pick it up with but there weren't many solid pieces.... so yeah, it happens.

[Knut]

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by nfotiu

Since everyone keeps bringing it up as an equivalency, I have taken a #### on a neighbor's front yard. I've had some close calls running before but this time I just wasn't going to make it home and it was either filling my shorts or i was ducking behind the bushes in a front yard. i'm not proud of it and not happy and no I didn't have anything to pick it up with but there weren't many solid pieces.... so yeah, it happens.

I have had close calls, but I usually have a good idea of where there are washrooms.

The horrible thing is it comes on so fast. Like the jostling of things when you're running. As soon as I feel it, I start making plans and looking for coverage or thinking of where a gas station or fast food restauarant is. My closest call was in Confluence Park by the driving range, but thankfully I found a port-a-potty.

[wwkayaker]

What about using portapotties on worksites provided they aren’t inside the PPE fence? Is that an ####### move?

[btimbit]

Originally Posted by wwkayaker

What about using portapotties on worksites provided they aren’t inside the PPE fence? Is that an ####### move?

Good question. I do that all the time now. Since covid, gas stations don't seem to let anyone use their bathrooms, so if I have to go at work but am half an hour from the office I try to find one of these

[PeteMoss]

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

If this is your hill to die on then drop the ridiculous false equivalencies. You don’t feel any bit of responsibility for the animal you are legally required to control? It’s an interesting attitude that I’ll never understand.

Letting my dog pee on a lawn = not feeling a bit of responsibility for my dog... Right after complaining about false equivalences?

🤌

[GGG]

Originally Posted by #-3

I actually think the easement is still your property, it is just that you do not have the right to restrict the government or utilities from accessing that space.

For the record, team keep your poop off my lawn, the city owns lawn across the street they let dogs crap on

I had thought it was the other way where the city owns but you get access. Looking at websites it’s still unclear to me. The city has the road right of way which may extend into your front lawn which I believe is owned by the city. (I might be wrong here)

Then you can have a utility easement on your property which you own but have to provide access.

https://www.calgary.ca/content/dam/w...ty-english.pdf

I do agree though that people shouldn’t let dogs per on others lawns do to the damage it causes, though I also think if you put a sign stating no dog peeing I really want to pee on your sign.

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by btimbit

Good question. I do that all the time now. Since covid, gas stations don't seem to let anyone use their bathrooms, so if I have to go at work but am half an hour from the office I try to find one of these

As you might guess, there's an app for that. It's called GoHere (washroom locater), available for both Apple and Android. I don't know for sure how many places might have had to restrict because of COVID but I assume if they show up, these days they're available.

Have used the portapotties on construction sites in a panic. At that point, I'm past caring who gets mad about it, lol.

[D as in David]

Why don't people just get female cats or dogs for pets? Everyone knows the females of a species don't piss or defecate.

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by CorsiHockeyLeague

Well, the thing with training cats is that you can give them the message such that they understand what you want them to do, but sometimes they just decide not to. Mine knows he's not allowed on the kitchen island, so he gets up there when he wants attention. He understands what "OFF!" means, but sometimes he just sort of tries to make it look like he's going to jump off, and then tries to stay on the edge, as if to say "well I got close to leaving, that's good enough, right?" He knows I want him to use the scratching posts so whenever he does something wrong he runs to those and starts scratching so as to say "look, I'm being good".

Short version, cats can be trained, but depending on their personality and what mood they're in they might not do the thing they've been trained to do even though they understand what they're supposed to be doing.

Why publish books on cats when everyone could just read those post? Yep, this is cats. The only thing I'd add is "Oh, human is walking that exact line to another room? Me, too".

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by jayswin

Why publish books on cats when everyone could just read those post? Yep, this is cats. The only thing I'd add is "Oh, human is walking that exact line to another room? Me, too".

My cat has gone out of its way to trip me on the stairs. Luckily I was going up, so I only caught my shins on the edge of the treads, instead of tumbling and cracking my skull on at the bottom.

They seem perfectly adept at anticipating your attempt to avoid them, and matching it right after you’ve committed. It’s like a well choreographed dance where you just keep sidestepping past the cat until you get tangled up and trip.

Cats should have their own AITA thread.

[Weitz]

My dog pooped on a lawn this morning and I picked it up. Felt awful.

[Regular_John]

Originally Posted by Wormius

My cat has gone out of its way to trip me on the stairs. Luckily I was going up, so I only caught my shins on the edge of the treads, instead of tumbling and cracking my skull on at the bottom.

They seem perfectly adept at anticipating your attempt to avoid them, and matching it right after you’ve committed. It’s like a well choreographed dance where you just keep sidestepping past the cat until you get tangled up and trip.

Cats should have their own AITA thread.

A few years back my cat tripped me to the ground (thankfully not on the stairs) with that technique, on the way down I managed to get a hand on her and knocked her over so I wouldn't land on top of her... then I apologized to the cat!

I'm still sour about that, she tried to trip me, and I end up feeling guilty because she almost got herself crushed? Cats are jerks.

[DoubleF]

Originally Posted by jaydorn

A few years back my cat tripped me to the ground (thankfully not on the stairs) with that technique, on the way down I managed to get a hand on her and knocked her over so I wouldn't land on top of her... then I apologized to the cat!

I'm still sour about that, she tried to trip me, and I end up feeling guilty because she almost got herself crushed? Cats are jerks.

I hissed at a friend's cat that was being a jerk once. The cat runs away now when I come over now. I think it's great. I mean, the cat was biting my shoe and my child's carrier. I felt like hissing at it was far more appropriate than yelling or attempting to whack it or being like the owner and all like, "OMG, I'm sorry. I don't know how to stop it from doing that." and the couch and other random #### is shredded. I have other friends who are cat owners and they have taught their cats to not do stuff like that.

I don't like a lot of cats. Too many owners who are like, "Cats are great. You don't need to do anything with them. Not needy like dogs... blah blah blah", and the cat (no fault to itself) is a perfect representation of a creature with a ####ty attitude because it's basically a spoiled neglected family member. There are people like this with dogs, but I find there's more cat owners that let it get bad like this than dog owners.