Turning the table on telemarketers

[MJK]

Wellll....I use to be a telemarketer! LOL

Here are some tricks to get revenge:

#1 Request to be taken off the phone list, you won't be called back

#2 Keep on the phone for as long as possible without buying anything (Frank the Tank is kind right, their is a commission for the most sales on top of an hourly rate LOL)

#3 It is illegal to call a cell phone, make sure you let them know that when they call.

Any more questions?

[GreenTeaFrapp]

I had a call today from a security company rambling on about how they're doing security checks because they claim there's been some break-ins in the neighbourhood. I've heard about crooks making calls like this to find out who has security systems and who doesn't. So when they ask me if I've got an a security system I reply with, "I've killed an intruder before and I'm fully prepared to kill again."

The telemarketer ended the call quickly after that.

[ricosuave]

^

LOL you could also try the same response with just about any telemarketer...

"i've killed an (calgary herald employee) before and im fully prepared to kill again"

[Shazam]

Originally Posted by Kobatuzzied

Hey I can't believe it but i actually got a telemarketer calling my cellphone! I haven't had that happen before.

and it was for the stupid calgary herald. They are so pushy and agressive you can't get a word in until they say "what is your name so i can sign you up" after giving a nonstop speech for 2 minutes.

At least telling them off was easy. Doh boy is good for somethings.

Aren't telemarketers not allowed to phone cell numbers because it usually costs money to answer cell phone calls?

[SteveToms]

I pretended I was stupid, and that I misunderstood. I started to trying to sell stuff. I was like, I have old car, you buy, you buy, real cheap, no car? Ok how about a boat?? Then they hungup

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Originally Posted by ricosuave

^

LOL you could also try the same response with just about any telemarketer...

"i've killed an (calgary herald employee) before and im fully prepared to kill again"

Nah, that could get the police at your door.

In the specific case I used the comment, it wasn't an admission of murder but one of self-defence. As well, if the call was just fishing for information it probably got me off their list of houses to rob considering I said it in a matter of fact tone without a hint of joking.

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Some other techniques I've attempted in the past include:

Hitting on the (female) telemarketer. Ask her invasive personal questions about things like her appearance and sexual habits. This might work on male telemarketers as well but I've never tried it.

Randomly say "yes" and nothing else.

Make up a foreign accent and accuse them of making fun of it.

Repeat what they just said in the form of a question but with some screwed up facts:

Them: "We'd like to offer you the National Post at no cost for six months."
Me: "You want to offer me the Globe and Mail free for six months?"

Sound depressed/suicidal and answer their questions by saying that nothing matters anymore anyways.

Vent your frustrations for the day by unleashing a flurry of obscenities at them until you hear a dialtone.

[Shazam]

Funny you bring up the National Post. One fine summer day on Stephen Avenue Mall they were giving away copies of NP. Well, at least trying to. Most people refused it by saying "That paper sucks!". And wow, it truly does suck.

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Originally Posted by Shazam

Funny you bring up the National Post. One fine summer day on Stephen Avenue Mall they were giving away copies of NP. Well, at least trying to. Most people refused it by saying "That paper sucks!". And wow, it truly does suck.

I had a year's free sub to the NP at one point. I was taking the bus downtown to work at the time and figured that I could read it on the commute. Unfortunately, it was too cumbersome to read and if I did read it I'd get motion sickness. Eventually, it just ended up going directly in my recycling box everyday. I got a call from them last year asking if I wanted the same deal again and I turned them down.

[LGA]

Use the old "I'll kill myself if you hang up" and just whine and complain about just about anything and see how long they can stay on the line for

[Dion]

When a telemarketer phones I always ask them to hold on for a second as someone is ringing the door bell. I set the phone down and continue on with what I was doing. After about 5 minutes I pick up the phone to see if the person is still there. Usually I get a dial tone on the other end.

Other times they start out by asking how you are doing today. lol I then start by saying my life is a mess. My wife just left me and cleaned out my bank account and I don't know how i'm going to pay my bills. Also the family dog got run over by a bus and my son is having a terrible team dealing with the loss of his pet. He's such a mess that he can't stop crying and won't come out of his room. My duaghter just got pregnant and she's thinking of having an abortion and I don't know what to do. Do you have any suggestions as to what I should do? Suddenly there's a click and a dial tone on the other end.

[Frank the Tank]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaFrapp

I had a call today from a security company rambling on about how they're doing security checks because they claim there's been some break-ins in the neighbourhood. I've heard about crooks making calls like this to find out who has security systems and who doesn't. So when they ask me if I've got an a security system I reply with, "I've killed an intruder before and I'm fully prepared to kill again."

The telemarketer ended the call quickly after that.

This is my new line for ALL telemarketers, regardless of what they are selling! Brilliant!

Weedman: "Hi Mr. Tank, can we come around and give you a free estimate on spraying your lawn with the same chemicals you can buy at Costco at an incredibly inflated price because we have a big fancy truck"

Frank: "I killed the last Weedman representative and I am fully prepared to do so again. Come on over."

[TheyCallMeBruce]

I'm gonna try a new one. I'm gonna pretend I am the house cat.

[Frank the Tank]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

I'm gonna try a new one. I'm gonna pretend I am the house cat.

I like your ghost one. Pretty inventive. I may pretend I am ######ed next time weedman calls. Or mistake them for a company that sells weed. Have to see what kind of mood I am in.

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

I may pretend I am ######ed next time weedman calls. Or mistake them for a company that sells weed.

I did the thinking they sold drugs thing one time also. Freaking Weedman calls daily during the summer and I was getting sick of it. I asked them why they were selling drugs and told them I was going to call the cops on them if they wouldn't leave me alone.

Which telemarketer do you find the most persistant? For me it's UCC/DirectBuy and Weedman.

[Incinerator]

Originally Posted by Kobatuzzied

Hey I can't believe it but i actually got a telemarketer calling my cellphone! I haven't had that happen before.

and it was for the stupid calgary herald. They are so pushy and agressive you can't get a word in until they say "what is your name so i can sign you up" after giving a nonstop speech for 2 minutes.

At least telling them off was easy. Doh boy is good for somethings.

hahaha I have unlimited incoming on both my phones so I just put them on speaker and let them talk to thin air for half an hour

[Sylvanfan]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaFrapp

Hitting on the (female) telemarketer. Ask her invasive personal questions about things like her appearance and sexual habits. This might work on male telemarketers as well but I've never tried it.

I haven't quite got up the gall to pull that one on the male ones yet, but I have tried that on the female ones. They often got quite disturbed after being asked out and saying "but I'm calling from Ontario" and I respond....I'll come to Ontario to meet a girl.

[stang]

"Umm I am pretty busy right now. How about you give me YOUR home phone number and I will call you back when i have some more time."

[the crispy badger]

Here's a easy solution to your Telemarketing woes..say "no thanks" and hangup instead of being a jackass to someone who does what he/she needs to do to feed their family.

[stang]

Originally Posted by the crispy badger

Here's a easy solution to your Telemarketing woes..say "no thanks" and hangup instead of being a jackass to someone who does what he/she needs to do to feed their family.

But thats no fun....