UPD 3: Dan O'Toole confirms daughter found

[dino7c]

Mental episode? That okay? Sorry PC police it doesn't take rocket appliances to realize something was off with him based on those tweets. Not mocking him...hope all involved get whatever help they need.

[dammage79]

Everything being posted here are based on broad assumptions based on literally zero context or awareness of the situation. Literally everything. No one knows why O'Toole acted the way he did , no one has a right to paint it any which way other than he was concerned for his child's well being. Thats it. That's all anyone has. There's zero information one way or the other to justify an opinion.

The baby by all accounts is safe and that is all that should matter to any of us. The rest is just hogwash ego stroking in here.

[cannon7]

Hopefully O'Tolle's loved ones are encouraging him to stay off social media. There are some (most) things best kept private.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by dino7c

Mental episode? That okay? Sorry PC police it doesn't take rocket appliances to realize something was off with him based on those tweets. Not mocking him...hope all involved get whatever help they need.

Yeah, he couldn’t find his daughter. That’s what was off with him.

It’s not a PC thing. Assuming there are deeper mental health issues is just ignorant. Maybe there are, maybe there aren’t, but I don’t see what we personally gain by making the assumption.

[DeluxeMoustache]

^ thanks, DoubleF

Not putting words in my mouth, you appear to have understood where I was coming from

What we knew from his tweets was that his 1 month old was missing, he expressed hurt, he was hoping the baby was safe and being looked after, and that he would be able to hold her again, that he was at one point not having success via police channels, defended his ex wife and his phrasing seemed like he could have been trying to communicate

There were numerous cringeworthy posts on here, saying things like that he was on something, a bit of an AH, losing his mind, or that he probably in a bitter fight with the mother. Lots of ugly views that appeared to be arrived at hastily, did not appear to consider some other reasonable options, and seemed far from compassionate.

Then posts saying that since it was understood that the baby was with the mother, all was fine, which can very possibly be, well, also wrong.

I mentioned that I hadn’t seen anybody considering an issue that is more common than people seem to appreciate (even more common than kidnapping with ransom notes, but less likely to be discussed openly). A potential situation that was more just sad.

Even then, people still kept going on with a presumptive tone about his mental health and needs.

Most parents have had that incident where they don’t know for a split second where their kid is, and it is a good amount of panic. And usually incredibly short lived, they find their kid within seconds. Often something as simple as the example where a kid sees another family member at stampede and beelines over.

A guy who is missing a one month old making a public plea and showing hurt and panic, using language addressing but not identifying the person with the baby - well, I would not want to step up as the internet doctor diagnosing him with underlying mental health issues

I make no judgment on him or any involved parties other than to give them the benefit of the doubt and would like to see compassion

(And even if post partum issues are not related whatsoever to this situation, I hope that anybody who was unaware of them and their severity, and may potentially be directly or indirectly affected by them, or know someone who could be, has learned something. There can be a lot of challenges parents have that you don’t see between the posting of curated Facebook photos)

[DeluxeMoustache]

Originally Posted by cannon7

Hopefully O'Tolle's loved ones are encouraging him to stay off social media. There are some (most) things best kept private.

Well, in the case of missing children, which is usually time sensitive, social media can potentially
- alert public people to be vigilant, resulting in return of the kid, or
- communicate to the person who has the kid, and can not be directly contacted

So I can’t simply go ahead and agree with that

[corporatejay]

Originally Posted by DeluxeMoustache

Well, in the case of missing children, which is usually time sensitive, social media can potentially
- alert public people to be vigilant, resulting in return of the kid, or
- communicate to the person who has the kid, and can not be directly contacted

So I can’t simply go ahead and agree with that

I think he means going forward on this. He doesn't need to defend himself or bother arguing. Just step back, the baby is safe and use proper channels. I don't know what prompted him to post that and I don't really care. Glad everyone is safe.

[Strange Brew]

There are a lot of perils in allowing the general public into your private life. I don’t know why he did it, and for all involved, I hope it was good decision.

[dino7c]

Twitter can be helpful in a missing persons case...to post all kinds of cryptic stuff and speculate if the child is alive wasn't productive.

You guys keep comparing it to losing a child at the mall or stampede. The child was not in his custody at the time and was never actually missing. I don't think twitter was helpful in this case at all.

The police say they were never notified until after the tweets

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by dammage79

Everything being posted here are based on broad assumptions based on literally zero context or awareness of the situation. Literally everything. No one knows why O'Toole acted the way he did , no one has a right to paint it any which way other than he was concerned for his child's well being. Thats it. That's all anyone has. There's zero information one way or the other to justify an opinion.

The baby by all accounts is safe and that is all that should matter to any of us. The rest is just hogwash ego stroking in here.

The moment he puts it out there on Twitter he's opened himself up to judgement. It's why every time you type up a personal or provocative post to put out there in social media you should pause and ensure that it's something that may be better kept private before you click on send. While it's true that none of us know why he acted this way the fact of the matter is he did choose to post some confusing tweets for us all to see. I don't don't understand why we can't discuss this situation given the strangeness of it all. I like Dan O'Toole but he's not special or different than any other random person and I feel some people are being overly sensitive because of who he is and not what transpired. It's simply a strange set of events that leaves you scratching your head.

[dino7c]

Exactly, and why can we speculate about the birth mother and not Dan? I haven't seen one person on here mocking him or making fun...according to the police he posted on twitter BEFORE even alerting authorities.

[DeluxeMoustache]

^ if you don’t see the difference between what we have respectively volunteered here then, with all due respect, I can’t help you.

No further comment

[dino7c]

Originally Posted by DeluxeMoustache

^ if you don’t see the difference between what we have respectively volunteered here then, with all due respect, I can’t help you.

No further comment

You seem pretty confident in your speculation and you have no more information that I do.

Guy tweeted about his kid missing and potentially not being alive before alerting authorities...as soon as someone else showed the authorities his tweet they solved the matter quickly.

For me all signs point in one direction.

[AustinL_NHL]

And going off your last few posts dino, I would think you were a complete di*k who makes immediate judgements based off first impressions. Is that fair for me to assume off just a couple of your posts?

If you're like anyone else, you'd feel the need to correct me on my wrong assumption and possibly fire back at me in some way because I was completely out of line and wrong with my immediate assumptions.

And it's not just you. There's a lot of people doing the same thing in this thread so sorry to point you out specifically.

Something was off with Dan's posts, but to immediately judge him and speculate without any context is just off and yet another reason why many people are too afraid to open up about their personal problems, because people (like you're doing in this case) make immediate judgements in the worst ways possible without knowing anywhere close to even half the story and paint them with a bad brush.

Maybe it turns out Dan was having a bit of a breakdown. Or maybe it turns out the mother of his child was. Or maybe both. But let's wait until the official word is out before making assumptions that put him in a bad light.

The most important thing is that his baby is safe.

[dino7c]

Originally Posted by AustinL_NHL

And going off your last few posts dino, I would think you were a complete di*k who makes immediate judgements based off first impressions. Is that fair for me to assume off just a couple of your posts?

If you're like anyone else, you'd feel the need to correct me on my wrong assumption and possibly fire back at me in some way because I was completely out of line and wrong with my immediate assumptions.

And it's not just you. There's a lot of people doing the same thing in this thread so sorry to point you out specifically.

Something was off with Dan's posts, but to immediately judge him and speculate without any context is just off and yet another reason why many people are too afraid to open up about their personal problems, because people (like you're doing in this case) make immediate judgements in the worst ways possible without knowing anywhere close to even half the story and paint them with a bad brush.

Maybe it turns out Dan was having a bit of a breakdown. Or maybe it turns out the mother of his child was. Or maybe both. But let's wait until the official word is out before making assumptions that put him in a bad light.

The most important thing is that his baby is safe.

assume whatever you want I don't care

I never said anything bad about Dan except I hope he gets the help he needs...he obviously needs something

A person in a healthy state of mind doesn't post that stuff on twitter before even alerting the authorities. I think if this is some random guy and not a media personality some of you are not getting so defensive.

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by dino7c

assume whatever you want I don't care

I never said anything bad about Dan except I hope he gets the help he needs...he obviously needs something

A person in a healthy state of mind doesn't post that stuff on twitter before even alerting the authorities. I think if this is some random guy and not a media personality some of you are not getting so defensive.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but the post clearly said she was taken from him. And I haven’t seen anything that stated otherwise other that the police saying the baby “is with/and has been with her mother”. Which doesn’t really mean much, has been could have been since the kid was taken...

That’s where I got confused, how all of a sudden people jumped on the idea that he never had the kid with him. Which is not what his initial post says. And we don’t know story. I don’t even care to hear the story, the baby is fine. I’m not trying to fuel this conversation further.

[dino7c]

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

I can’t speak for anyone else, but the post clearly said she was taken from him. And I haven’t seen anything that stated otherwise other that the police saying the baby “is with/and has been with her mother”. Which doesn’t really mean much, has been could have been since the kid was taken...

That’s where I got confused, how all of a sudden people jumped on the idea that he never had the kid with him. Which is not what his initial post says. And we don’t know story. I don’t even care to hear the story, the baby is fine. I’m not trying to fuel this conversation further.

The police contradict much of what he posted...there was never a police report filed and the mother was supposed to be in custody

but Police Vs. Media celebrity in this day and age I know


Yes we are all happy the baby is fine obviously...it was never in danger, he made millions worry before going to the authorities. No matter what he should think more carefully about social media posts

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by dino7c

The police contradict much of what he posted...there was never a police report filed and the mother was supposed to be in custody

But where is that? That’s brand new information to me (mother supposedly in custody), and I don’t believe I see it posted in this discussion. Didn’t find anything saying that last night while googling the situation. So maybe I’m an idiot, but it would be helpful to include that info with your posts. For context.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by dino7c

assume whatever you want I don't care

I never said anything bad about Dan except I hope he gets the help he needs...he obviously needs something

A person in a healthy state of mind doesn't post that stuff on twitter before even alerting the authorities. I think if this is some random guy and not a media personality some of you are not getting so defensive.

I assume you're about to show us your Ph.D. in Psychiatry since you've diagnosed him as mentally unwell and requiring treatment.

What's your official diagnosis?

I think most of us non-medical professionals know that we don't know, so aren't bothered to make statements about what is "obvious" and would prefer not to assume anything, outside of seeing a man worried about his daughter. But I'm curious about your expert opinion on his mental health.

[PepsiFree]

For record, here's what the police actually said:

“We have looked into the social media post of a local resident/sports broadcaster regarding an alleged abduction of his baby daughter,” DRPS said.

“Although this was not reported to us, we can confirm the baby has been/continues to be safe with her biological mother in the Peterborough area.”

It makes no claim of who was supposed to have custody, or where the child was supposed to be, but that the child has been and continues to be safe and with the biological mother.

Dan also suggested that it wasn't a Durham police matter. This could mean that he reported it to a different police, which would easily explain why Durham said it wasn't reported to them. It doesn't automatically mean that it wasn't reported to police, period.

This is what Dan said this morning:

On Friday morning, O’Toole responded to criticism he had received for taking his custody issue to social media.

“A 5 week old baby. 5 weeks. A child that was supposed to be in my care. 5 weeks old. I’ve still haven’t seen a picture of her, let alone held her. Yet my character called into question? Attacked. Defamed. People ‘question’ the story? I have no words. I’m done.”

So, maybe it's a matter of split custody, and Dan was supposed to have the baby for a period during these 5 weeks yet hasn't seen them for birth, and hasn't been able to contact the mother. We don't know, we can't know from what's available, and it's pretty unlikely we will learn.

The point being, jumping to foregone conclusions (oh, it's definitely this, that much is clear!) is dumb. It's insensitive, but it's also very dumb, and people look dumb for doing it.

We don't know the situation. What is it to anyone's benefit to pretend like they do and theorize as though this is just more entertainment to consume? This is a human being.