But they're Smart! S-M-R-T!!

[Bill Bumface]

Just to clarify, as I used to work at a lumber yard, 8' 2x4's are infact longer than 8 feet. 8' 0.25" I believe someone already mentioned. 8' studs are a totally different animal and are shorter, as someone else aready mentioned. So the guy isn't that dumb Jerks.

[vanisleflamesfan]

Originally Posted by hulkrogan

Just to clarify, as I used to work at a lumber yard, 8' 2x4's are infact longer than 8 feet. 8' 0.25" I believe someone already mentioned. 8' studs are a totally different animal and are shorter, as someone else aready mentioned. So the guy isn't that dumb Jerks.

Yeah... I also know (and knew at the time) that 8 foot 2x4s measure exactly 96.25 inches (the extra quarter of an inch is provided for the saw kerf when and if you have to cut the board, there is more to it, I know, but I digress).

However, the dumb (and therefore funny) part, was that the guy who called seemed perfectly happy with my answer after I told him that the 8 footers were 10 feet long.

I'm sorry that I had to explain the joke... in a thread about making fun of people for being dumb.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by vanisleflamesfan

Yeah... I also know (and knew at the time) that 8 foot 2x4s measure exactly 96.25 inches (the extra quarter of an inch is provided for the saw kerf when and if you have to cut the board, there is more to it, I know, but I digress).

However, the dumb (and therefore funny) part, was that the guy who called seemed perfectly happy with my answer after I told him that the 8 footers were 10 feet long.

I'm sorry that I had to explain the joke... in a thread about making fun of people for being dumb.

Umm... I had no problem with the joke. Just clarifying for all of the people arguing whether they are more or less than 8 feet. I read the joke and laughed at it days ago and didn't feel like I needed to respond to it.

[rubecube]

The amount of people who call here (Bell Business Repair) looking for Telus Mobility is astounding. I don't know how you can go through six Bell prompts and still think you've called Telus.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by rubecube

The amount of people who call here (Bell Business Repair) looking for Telus Mobility is astounding. I don't know how you can go through six Bell prompts and still think you've called Telus.

I don't normally like to quote myself but holy ****!

The reason I posted this is because some woman called 611 from her business phone (if your phone is with Telus 611 goes to Telus, if your phone is with Bell 611 goes to Bell). She proceeded to start rambling at me about her Telus Mobility bill. I advised her she had reached Bell and she said "Oh but my bill says to call 611 if I have any questions," to which I responded "That's 611 from your cell phone."

She just called back. Went through the same Bell prompts got to me and said "Is this Telus?" And I know she called from the same landline because I saw it on my call display. How is it even possible to be this ######ed?

[Flashpoint]

Originally Posted by socalwingfan

I haven't gotten the igloo question yet (my wife has though). What I get all the time is,
brainiac: "Hey your from Canada, my XXX is from Toronto, do you know them?"

That happened to me when I first arrived in Dallas.

The kicker?

I actually knew the guy they were talking about.

[notoepik]

We get that stuff in Montana too.
Do we have cowboys and Indians? Well, yes we do. No, they don't have battles.
Do you ride horses to work? Not usually. Although you might find an occassional hitching post around town
Covered wagons? No, sorry.
Electricity? Every other day! The other days we have to cook our berries and bear meat on the fire outside our sod huts.
Mail service is not by Pony Express.

[TheyCallMeBruce]

Originally Posted by Flashpoint

That happened to me when I first arrived in Dallas.

The kicker?

I actually knew the guy they were talking about.

Hey same here lol, but I tell them "He is in jail for being a serial killer."

[Burninator]

Originally Posted by Flashpoint

That happened to me when I first arrived in Dallas.

The kicker?

I actually knew the guy they were talking about.

Oh office glen? He's dead.

[Table 5]

nm

[Hemi-Cuda]

at Shaw when i was still working as a technical support rep, i had a lady call in who was absolutely furious and screaming about why her internet wasn't working. try as i might though, i could not bring up any account information for her by phone number, address, nothing. i then ask her if she's sure that we're her internet provider and not Telus (we had a lot of those), and she says "Of course i'm with Shaw, i'm holding the cable cord right here!". so one last thing i can think of to try and get her information is her modem serial #, which she replies "Modem? What modem?". i tell her it's the small black box that the cable cord is connected into, but she's still not getting it

now after many more mentally anguishing minutes i finally get the whole story. turns out she didn't have a Shaw account, never even had cable tv. what she did was take a coax cable from her wall and wedge it into a vent hole in her monitor, expecting the internet to automatically pop up. i needed a few stiff drinks after that one

[stang]

Originally Posted by pope04

My wife and I were cycling once, and we came upon a lady in obvious running gear - runners, sports top and spandex - warming up for her jog. She was stretching her hamstrings by pushing up against the rear of her car.

My wife, a very smart lady, blurted out, "Are you having car trouble?"

I nearly fell off of my bike.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuc-dzZwKbM

HAHA

To add a couple of my own.

Me and some friends were shooting a game of pool at the local pool hall, when one of the girls we were with notices the Ladies Night sign

"Ladies, free pool weds night from 8-9" (or something like that)

and she says excitedly " You can SWIM here!?"



Also a couple jokes we used to play on newbies when I was a mechanic/welder

Set the new guy up with a paper bag, and when its time to grind the weld tell him he has to collect the sparks in the bag so they can be sent away for spark analysis. He sits there and trys to get the sparks in the bag, but then the bag catches fire!! LMAO too funny when you see it happen!

We had a welder come on who claimed he knew what he was doing and how to mig weld etc. We knew he wasnt to smart when he had the mig wire out about 12 inches and was trying to spark it like a rod... Anyways over lunch we took his helmet and spray painted his shield black. When he tried welding and couldnt see anything, he actually went and got a TROUBLE light to brighten the area he was trying to weld!

[jolinar of malkshor]

Originally Posted by Slava

My wife was driving along and heard a "weird noise from the car". She was going to stop at one store, but "didn't really like it" so she turns around and drives for another little while to another store.

For some reason she pops the hood here. (She hasn't got the slightest clue of what to look for, so god knows why). Anyway, shes bent over looking around and a guy calls over "Lady...you've got a flat tire!".

Perhaps needless to say, she got back in and drove home on the rim...

Ah...ya....my wife (girlfriend at the time) has done that aswell. This was in highschool and she was over at my place. I lived in the country. I let her take my truck home for the night. She was driving down the highway....heard a noise and a shutter. She figured...ah....it's only a few more miles home, I will just keep driving. Any how she calls me when she gets to her place and tells me she got a flat tire. I thought...well...no big deal I will take it in the next day and get it repaired. Any how...I show up the next day expecting to fix a flat. I go to the truck and I find no tire at all. She drove the rubber right of the rim and there was nothing left....just the rim....which was ****ed aswell.

I couldn't believe it.

[jolinar of malkshor]

Originally Posted by Hemi-Cuda

at Shaw when i was still working as a technical support rep, i had a lady call in who was absolutely furious and screaming about why her internet wasn't working. try as i might though, i could not bring up any account information for her by phone number, address, nothing. i then ask her if she's sure that we're her internet provider and not Telus (we had a lot of those), and she says "Of course i'm with Shaw, i'm holding the cable cord right here!". so one last thing i can think of to try and get her information is her modem serial #, which she replies "Modem? What modem?". i tell her it's the small black box that the cable cord is connected into, but she's still not getting it

now after many more mentally anguishing minutes i finally get the whole story. turns out she didn't have a Shaw account, never even had cable tv. what she did was take a coax cable from her wall and wedge it into a vent hole in her monitor, expecting the internet to automatically pop up. i needed a few stiff drinks after that one

You're making this up right??

[Iowa_Flames_Fan]

Originally Posted by jolinar of malkshor

You're making this up right??

I'm guessing probably not. There are virtually no limits to how stupid people can be when it comes to technology.

My wife and I used to rent out our downstairs bedroom. There was this one woman who rented it who was a complete disaster--completely incompatible lifestyles, and we didn't get along at all.

At that time we had one of those dishwashers that rolls around on casters, and that you have to hook up to the sink. Our boarder, on more than one occasion ran the entire load through without hooking the back up to the sink, and then complained that the dishwasher was "broken" when the dishes didn't come clean.

She used to get up early in the morning and blast music on our living-room stereo--very obnoxious. So I started unhooking the speakers before we went to bed, confident that she would not be able to figure out what was "wrong" with the stereo. In the morning, she would say "your stereo's acting up again--it's broken." I would re-hook the speakers up when she wasn't looking, and then at an opportune moment I would walk over and turn the radio on. Then I'd turn to her and say "it seems to work fine now." The look on her face was priceless! We kept doing it for about 2 weeks, just to mess with her.


Needless to say, we kicked her out after about a month. Worst boarder ever.

[Antithesis]

Stories like that are exactly the reason why I've never had roommates and never intend on having people board at my home.

[Hemi-Cuda]

Originally Posted by jolinar of malkshor

You're making this up right??

i wish, you haven't dealt with true stupidity until you've done tech support. another bad one i had was this older woman calling in saying her internet didn't work. asked her what she saw on her screen when trying open it, when she said "all i see is a blue box on the screen that says no signal". now we got a lot of these type of calls, so i informed her to connect the monitor cable into her PC, or "big box with lights on it" so she'd understand. she then replies "i don't see any box, only a bunch of wires sitting here". turns out her son had taken the actual computer in for repairs

there should be a test that one must take before being allowed to go onto the internet

[FireFly]

Oh my God. I had to bring this thread back up after the last call I took. I'm crying I'm laughing so hard....

Lady calls in with a PDA. Asks me "Can you tell me the time?" So I ask why and she tells me her phone keeps screwing up. I suggest she turn it off and back on again and she tells me this story...

"Well when I looked at it, it said 12:00, then I turned on 'enable automatic time download' and turned it off and back on and it said 12:10."

So I ask her what it says now and she tells me 12:15. (This is all in EST, FYI).

So I said, "well it is 12:15."

What I wanted to say is "Could it possibly be because time keeps moving forward?" What an idiot.

[STeeLy]

this is an old thread but on well...

if I'm wrong, then sorry for bumping.

I used to think that Speed Bumps were made accidentally... someone spilled lots of paint and it just so miraculously made it in a straight line across the entire road

[Five-hole]

Here's a few that I know Sparks can relate to. I used to work at a landscape supply yard.

You have no idea how many people would want different rocks because "these ones are dirty". And if it wasn't rocks, then it was dusty lawn edging or rusty fabric spikes. You know these are going IN THE GROUND, right? Do you honestly think it matters that they're rusty? City types, seriously.

Another one of my favorites was when people would ask if the rock was going to lose its color over time. Well, maybe, but it's a couple of million years old already so if it happens in your backyard you could consider yourself lucky.