But they're Smart! S-M-R-T!!

[Hack&Lube]

I just come out of the convienience store in Lake Louise holding a drink and a girl asks: "where did you get the juice?"

Another story, I think I was watching the original X-Men movie. I forget what was happening. I think Wolvering was getting a CT scan or something. Girl exlaims: "is he getting a tan???"

[jam26]

I invited a girl to a Flames playoff game on a first (or second) date in 04. When the Flames took to the ice for the warm-up and began stretching against the far boards, she said "That's nice that they come out and pose for pictures before the game."

I knew then I was in for a long night.

[GoinAllTheWay]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

A big gag that used to go around when I worked at Co-Op was asking newbies to go find the 20kg bags of puffed wheat.

What Co-op did you work at? We had the same joke going around the Co-op I worked at.

[Tron_fdc]

These are hilarious.

Anoyone ever heard the story of slow moving Walter, fire engine guy?

Sloooooooow moving Walter
Fire engine guy!

It's a great song.

[Tron_fdc]

We convinced a girl to eat tinfoil once. I'm pretty sure she was acting dumb, because there's NO WAY someone could be that much of an idiot.

She ate a baked potato, and we told her to chew on the tinfoil for extra flavour. Anyone here ever chewed tinfoil? You get some kind of wierd electrical charge off it, and watching her chew and wince at the same time was priceless.

[Bobblehead]

I was taking a class (History of Mathematics - ZZZzzzzzzzz).

Everyday we would come into class and the prof would need to hit the switch to raise the (powered) screen at the front. One day, as he started writing on the front board, the screen started lowering. He looked shocked. He went to the switch and raised it again. As soon as he started writing again the screen came down again. Once more he raised it, but the screen would come down each time he started to write. Eventually he decided to call the class off. He never realized there was another switch at the back that someone was using to screw with him.

Then there was the prof who, a couple times a week, would teach with his cardigan inside out.

I swear, it is like some of the smartest people have their brain focused on their area of expertise at the expense of everything else.

[Iowa_Flames_Fan]

Originally Posted by Bobblehead

I swear, it is like some of the smartest people have their brain focused on their area of expertise at the expense of everything else.

Or some of the smartest are also some of the dumbest...


A famous story in our graduate program has to do with a first year PhD student who was assigned a presentation over a reading for a sexuality studies class.

His presentation was all about "the shomolly" Indian tribe, and how they had all of these unique cultural practices, including peculiar ideas about gender.

The professor let him go for about 15 minutes before blurting out "you know that it's SHE-MALE, right?!?!?"

Man, I'd hate to be that guy.

[Burninator]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

A big gag that used to go around when I worked at Co-Op was asking newbies to go find the 20kg bags of puffed wheat.

I've heard of a couple more that people pull on newbies; ice mix, bucket of steam and house stretcher (for when you build the house too small).

My Uncle was in the navy and a prank they would pull on new guys right before they got onto they ship was for them to get their masterbation papers (you need a couple different of documents to get onto the boat). I guess this one guy got sent around to a couple different guys and buildings to look for these papers so he could get on the boat. Until someone took pity on him and gave him some tissue papers. Then he got the joke.

When I use to work in retail and me and this lady had this exchange:

Her: Hi my name is so and so you have things on hold for me
Me: I'm sorry we don't put things on hold
Her: Yes you do, I'm sure of it
Me: I assure you, we do not
Her: Well someone from the north store phone here and got you to put it on hold
Me: North store, wah? There is only one store in the city
Her: What? There are a bunch of Linens n' Things in this city
Me: You are at IKEA.
Her: Oh...

IKEA and Linens n' Things are near eachother, but how she walked into a giant blue building with 20' IKEA letters and thought it was Linens n' Things is beyond me. Even to this day I cannot understand how she mixed them up. If you've ever been to the IKEA at deerfoot meadows you would know that store is unmistakable.

[Metro Gnome]

My favorite SMRT moment occurred a few years back thanks to a particularly "cognitively challenged" co-worker.

I was working in the service industry at the time. It was a particularly busy day because of the Easter long weekend. Several of us noted the increased traffic due to the holiday before he chimed in, "what holiday is it again...?"

To which someone else replied, "Easter. It's Easter."

He stood there a moment, before saying, "Oh yeah. Isn't that when Jesus got staked or whatever...?"

[TheyCallMeBruce]

LOL, I just had a really funny conversation with my a friend. We're talking about Megalodons...you know, the giant prehistoric shark.

Her: I wonder if there's anything scarier than sharks in the ocean.
Me: Yeah, Megalodons used to live in the ocean.
Her: Oh yeah! They're so totally cute!
Me: ?????????????? What are you talking about??
Her: Megalotus or whatever. They're so cute!
Me: Uh...they are?!?
Her: Yeah! I like how they waddle around.
Me: you mean PENGUINS???!?
Her: Yeah! The big ones!
Me: ?????????????????????????????????

[Sparks]

A few years ago, I worked at Blockbuster Video, and it always cracked me up when someone would ask, "Do you rent videos here?" Are you serious? Hillarious.

I gotta say, though, I'm guilty of calling a store, and after they answer, asking "Are you open?" One time I did it, the guy on the other end said, "Nah, we just answer the phone here for fun." Serves me right, haha.

Awesome thread by the way, guys.

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by GoinAllTheWay

What Co-op did you work at? We had the same joke going around the Co-op I worked at.

Village Square, though this was a good 11 years ago ...

[Frank the Tank]

I used to work at a patio furniture/BBQ store while in University. I answered the phone one busy saturday and a guy asked for directions:

Frank: Hello, Patio Palace?
Guy: Ya where are you located?
Frank: tells him address of store. Very easy to find.
Guy: Oh, what side of the street are you on? (Legitimate question)
Frank: The west side, sir.
Guy: So is that the left or the right?
Frank: ......................
Guy: Hello?
Frank: Well sir, if you are coming from the north, it will be on your right, if you are coming from the south, it will be on your left.
Guy: ........................
Frank: Sir?
Guy: So is it on the left or the right?
Frank: The left sir. Goodbye.

Never actually figured out if he made it in.

[socalwingfan]

I haven't gotten the igloo question yet (my wife has though). What I get all the time is,
brainiac: "Hey your from Canada, my XXX is from Toronto, do you know them?"
me: 'No, I'm from Calgary, it's in Western Canada, Toronto is on the east coast''
brainiac: "what's that about an hour away from Toronto?"

[WesternCanadaKing]

I was staying in a hotel in Butte Montana, and decided to go relax in the hot tub. There were a couple of high school girls my age in there, and I started talking to them. They asked me where I was from, and the conversation went like this from there:
Me: Calgary.
Girl 1: Where's that?
Me: Alberta...
Girls: ...
Me: You know, the province directly north of you.
Girls: ...
Me: ... Canada?
Girl 2: Oh! Really? Thats so cool!
Girl 1: Is Canada big?
Me: Yeah, it's the 2nd biggest country in the world.
Girl 1: What do you do in Canada?
Me: Oh you know, swim with penguins, live in igloos, dog sled to school, that kind of stuff.
Girl 2: Omg, you swim with penguins? I've always wanted to meet a penguin, you are soooo lucky.
Girl 1: Does it get cold in the igloos?
Me: No, we've developed an ice that is actually warm.
Girl 1: Wow, you guys must be real smart or something.

At this point I seriously can't believe that I'm having this conversation and that they're actually believing me. To be fair, another guy from Calgary soon joined our conversation and asked me what the population of the US was. I told him it was 300 million, and he said "Really? I thought it was like a billion or something" so it's not just the US thats completely ######ed.

[Wookie]

Originally Posted by WesternCanadaKing

I was staying in a hotel in Butte Montana, and decided to go relax in the hot tub. There were a couple of high school girls my age in there, and I started talking to them. They asked me where I was from, and the conversation went like this from there:

Speaking of dumb.. what were you doing in Butte Montana

[Vulcan]

One thing that bugs me is sometimes how dumb Euros can be. They like to lump us in with the Americans. I remember asking one guy where he was from. He said "Switzerland, do you know where that is?" I was so insulted I couldn't answer.

[Wookie]

Originally Posted by Vulcan

One thing that bugs me is sometimes how dumb Euros can be. They like to lump us in with the Americans. I remember asking one guy where he was from. He said "Switzerland, do you know where that is?" I was so insulted I couldn't answer.

Stupid Swiss, everyone knows they're a part of Germany.

[Vulcan]

Originally Posted by Wookie

Stupid Swiss, everyone knows they're a part of Germany.

Yeah, that would have been good. After the fact I thought of a few good answers for the obnoxious prig.

[SteveToms]

Originally Posted by Wookie

Stupid Swiss, everyone knows they're a part of Germany.

LOL

I had a lady come up to me at work at 9am, asking if were open yet(we open at 8am), then she asked if it was ok to start her shopping