Dating Advice: Calling and texting etiquette

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by djsFlames

Texting is merely for setting up dates. In other words be brief. Common misunderstanding among guys who overdo it.



Have your conversations in person. You can't increase anybody's level of attraction with any amount of paragraphs on a phone.



You can do that later when you're actually in a relationship.

Yeah, I agree with this, but it's easy to get caught in that trap.

[DiracSpike]

Originally Posted by djsFlames

Texting is merely for setting up dates. In other words be brief. Common misunderstanding among guys who overdo it.

Have your conversations in person. You can't increase anybody's level of attraction with any amount of paragraphs on a phone.

You can do that later when you're actually in a relationship.

While this is what I would prefer, and it’s probably better for long term human interaction if it was, it’s no longer true for most younger people (in y experience). More than being a convenient way to make plans, texting is now a critical part of the “courting process” and generating attraction. Even into the relationship, girls view texts during the day, funny interesting texts, as a constant sign that you like and appreciate them. I’m 28 and the stereotype of calling a girls house, asking her mom for permission to talk to her, and then having a chat is something I’ve never done. People my age didn’t have phones in jr high but we had msn messenger and would IM each other after school, then we all got phones and that rolled nicely through. No one talks to each other on the phone and haven’t for so long that now calling someone is weird. It’s a instant messaging world now, and if you wanna have a chance with most girls under 30 you need to be good at it. And yes it is a skill.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by rubecube

I mean that runs both direction. The amount of trashy women I've run into on these things is kind of impressive really. Plus you also have to sift through the ones that are using Tinder, etc., just to collect more Instagram and snapchat followers.

I'm also going to give kind of a hot take here by saying that Canadian women or at least Vancouver/Victoria women are particularly flakey. Any time I've used these apps while traveling, they've been a pretty good way to meet women in other cities, and I find that women who come here from other countries are far more enthusiastic about meeting up and less likely to ghost than the local women I talk to on the apps. I couldn't really guess what the reason for that is but that's been my experience.

Canadian citizenship?

[Snuffleupagus]

Originally Posted by squiggs96

My best advice is definitely to listen to the guys in this thread that are in their 50s and 60s and who are single. Their proven methods are guaranteed effective.

I'm in my 50's and twice divorced, while that looks bad and was expensive it's still better than today's youth that can't get a date never mind a relationship

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by Snuffleupagus

I'm in my 50's and twice divorced, while that looks bad and was expensive it's still better than today's youth that can't get a date never mind a relationship

We can get a date. We’re just not interested in the 50’s twice divorced crowd, sorry!

[Snuffleupagus]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

We can get a date. We’re just not interested in the 50’s twice divorced crowd, sorry!

What the hell does this even mean? relationships fail for every age group but if you're 25-35 look in the mirror and ask why you're single?

At least my age group wasn't looking at websites for a date and weren't single 90% of the time.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by Snuffleupagus

What the hell does this even mean? relationships fail for every age group but if you're 25-35 look in the mirror and ask why you're single?

At least my age group wasn't looking at websites for a date and weren't single 90% of the time.

He's right, you know. All you 30 year olds should be looking to this twice divorced 50 year old for advice. He's obviously got the system figured, and knows exactly how to navigate the complex challenges of dating in the modern world. Next up, how to select SP on your VCR for top quality when submitting your dating video.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by Snuffleupagus

What the hell does this even mean? relationships fail for every age group but if you're 25-35 look in the mirror and ask why you're single?

At least my age group wasn't looking at websites for a date and weren't single 90% of the time.

At least my age group isn’t just racking up divorce papers and fees! lol

My point is that your grumbling of “well in my day we didn’t use websites and were never single” is just a old-man-yells-at-clouds nonsense and you don’t really know what you’re talking about.

Like what could you possibly know about what it’s like to date as a young person today that you didn’t learn second or third hand? Nothing, right? You’re not actually dating any young people, are you?

“Twice divorced” is exactly what people my age are not really interested in, so excuse us if we’re not jealous of your relationship experience. Relationships aren’t really about sex anymore, because it’s easier than ever to have without them, and we’re single more often because we’re just not that into settling. I have countless girlfriends that would rather be single and having fun and landing on good relationships when they happen, than holding on to every dumb guy because “this may be it!”

If settling down and getting divorced worked for you, great. Not really keen to repeat that nonsense, thanks.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Snuffleupagus

I'm in my 50's and twice divorced, while that looks bad and was expensive it's still better than today's youth that can't get a date never mind a relationship

Careful with the generalisations bud. I'm in the same age group and never married and was smart enough to recognise a bad relationship and walk away before we got married.

Now I just prefer female friends where you can go out and have a good time and not have to worry about what happens next. In a lot of ways the generation that Pepsi Free is in has it right.

[squiggs96]

Originally Posted by Dion

Now I just prefer female friends where you can go out and have a good time and not have to worry about what happens next. In a lot of ways the generation that Pepsi Free is in has it right.

Plus, it's fun to try and sneak the lass into your house and hope that your mom doesn't find out and/or hear you.

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

We can get a date. We’re just not interested in the 50’s twice divorced crowd, sorry!

Some respect please for us never-divorced 60s folks.

[Snuffleupagus]

Originally Posted by MoneyGuy

Some respect please for us never-divorced 60s folks.

I actually think you 60's folks got it right far more than my 50's folks, just about all my friends growing up have had at least one divorce yet my sister and if i'm not mistaken all of her friends are still together.

Must be a born in the 60's problem

[Tron_fdc]

Funny. While you guys argue about the best way to meet and keep girls, the guy who has figured out a way to make them laugh (through ANY medium) already has them naked.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Lol wut?

[Locke]

We need to have a CP online dating profile.

"I like short walks to my secluded house through the garage, quiet nights at home watching Netflix by the warm glow of the fire next to my bug-out kit and rifle collection. I am a well prepared individual seeking a like-minded companion.

The Well in my basement is exclusively for the purposes of an emergency water supply in the unlikely event of complete social collapse. No other reason.

I promise...

Its also a unique selling feature for my isolated, secluded yet heavily fortified rural property."

[Tron_fdc]

You guys are making it way too complicated. The message delivery system or time or volume doesn’t matter.

Make em laugh.

[monkeyman]

how many dic pics have you sent?
I'm not sure I'd be taking dating advice from anyone who spends day after day, hour after hour on a hockey message board, regardless of age.

[FireGilbert]

Reading through this thread has really reminded me how much dating has changed in 20 years.

When I first asked girls out in high school and early university it was all about calling them at home with some MSN messenger or email flirting thrown in. Then you got cell phones where you could call directly which lead to texting and then to dating apps where I eventually met my wife.

I will say in my experience despite being more complicated dating is much easier these days. It was so nerve racking to ask someone out in person with face to face or even phone rejection being a huge embarrassment. Also your dating pool was pretty much friends of friends and from school or work. These days being able to think about your texts is easier than thinking on the spot and your dating pool is pretty much any other nearby single with similar interests.

[Sainters7]

Agreed. It's definitely much easier now to meet someone than it ever was previously, especially for the introverted types. You can "meet" people when laying in bed in your underwear eating chips. And your net is so much bigger than it was before.

The drawback is it also means most people you're chasing also have a big net, so you have much more competition than ever. It's made dating an easier, but also a much more flaky and competitive experience..a date where you're off your game is harder to recover from, as they can easily just move on to the next match. Overall it's much better I think, but also has its minuses.

EDIT: And agreed with who said they like dating apps when on vacation, that's actually my favourite time to use it, and when I first started using it. Great way to experience a city you're visiting from a local's perspective too, and see places you wouldn't have known about otherwise. Love it for that.

[CliffFletcher]

I won't weigh in on modern dating and texting etiquette, a subject on which I'm wholly ignorant. However, I do have to chuckle at the notion that Millennials are completely different from previous generations when it comes to the big life matters. They're not. The great majority of Millennials are going to get married and move to the burbs. The data on older Millenials (now in their late 30s) show exactly that. They're just hitting these milestones a few years later that previous generations.

And of course they're not the first generation to feel they're something new and different in the world. When my friends and I were 26, none of thought we'd get married, have kids, live in the burbs, and drive a minivan. No way we were going to live like our parents. We were different.

And yet at 31 we were almost all married, by 34 we lived in the burbs, by 37 we all had kids and drove minivans. And by 47, some were divorced. That's life.