Hitting on Women Thread v2.0

[icarus]

She didn't bring it up because she wanted to flirt--for fun, for ego, or maybe get some wookie nookie. Life would be even more dull for a lifeguard if she brought up the fact she had a boyfriend by the five minute mark of every conversation.

[MagicallyAdept]

Originally Posted by icarus

She didn't bring it up because she wanted to flirt--for fun, for ego, or maybe get some wookie nookie. Life would be even more dull for a lifeguard if she brought up the fact she had a boyfriend by the five minute mark of every conversation.

Maybe this mysterious boyfriend is the Hoff...

I believe that it is the responsibility of the partnership to ward off potential suitors by saying "i am with someone". If those words do not come then they are as good as single. You may be engaging in an affair but if you want something to get it. I don't believe in that home-wrecker type person as the only one doing wrong is the wife/husband/fiance etc if an affair occurs.

Wookie Nookie - almost as good as sugar tits in my favourite sayings now.

[ken0042]

I created a new thread, moved the posts over, and added the poll.

Have at er!

[return to the red]

after she said no you should have pulled out the hammer and started doin the helicopter, yelled in her face and ran away... j/k

seriously though if she said she would be up for going for drinks sometime but she has a boyfriend with all the errrrrs and ummms in there (you may have added these yourself) chances are that relationship is probably hitting the skids, or there really isn't one to begin with

I voted for ask her again but give it like 2 weeks or so. You've planted that little seed in her head that there is someone else out there that is interested and sometimes that's all it takes. Good luck buddy, we are all rootin for ya

[I-Hate-Hulse]

Originally Posted by Wookie

She said
well we could like go for a drink or something...

To which I was kinda still in cool guy brush it off mode..
eh, no worries..

I call BS - hot women in situations where they deal with the public a lot have their Guy Deflection Plan setup and ready to go - which is totally what happened to you. I once knew an incredibly beautiful girl (Think Nikki Taylor + Martina McBride) who worked as a bank teller. Wore a cheap ring to make it look like she was married to deflect the casual propositions.

Her breaking out the b/f was totally an automated defense - she wouldn't have busted out the lets go for a drink thing otherwise.

Ask again. Be a little chummy 1st for the next little while, then ask again.

[algernon]

I was just pondering... what if I was the 'boyfriend'?
Well, I would be completely behind you going for that drink with her. See, she must have already seen through my facade of niceness, and is starting to see the truth: we're not working out like she'd hoped.

If she goes out with you and you two hit it off, well, she'll do the hard work and give me the 'friends' talk, and I'm out scot-free!. Or, she'll go out with you, and realize she should be cleaning up a little more, cooking more spicey food, and generally treating me better 'cause you were a dud, thus driving up my value by comparison...so, really, it's a win/win.

I may sound a little flip, but as long as you two don't get into any touchy-feely with her while she's in a relationship, you're not doing wrong, in fact probably helping out, by testing the strength of the 'relationship'.

So, in conclusion: I say ask her for the drink in a week or two, and keep your damn meat hooks off of her! Oh, and also run the grape smuggler while swiming, just to keep her attention.

[Burninator]

I can think of a couple possible situations here for the asking out of a drink. I am going to assume that she has a boyfriend and isn't lying about that.

- Her relationship with her boyfriend is on the slide so she is "shopping" around for a new one.
- She wanted to seem polite.
- She wants to be friends.

I'm leaning towards that things with her boyfriend aren't going well, so she is looking to move on. But there is also a chance that things are going really well with her boyfriend and she is just looking for friends. If I were you I would keep talking with her and being friendly. Maybe joke about if she still has a boyfriend etc. Still flirt with her, otherwise you will fall into the friend category which their is no escape. With that said I wouldn't get hung up on her, just in case she decides to stick out with her current dude. Keep your eyes open for more fish in that sea.

[MagicallyAdept]

Are we going tto create a chat show with all this information...

Just think of the possibilites here chaps! (and chap-ettes)

[MarchHare]

I can't believe this is my first post to this thread.

Ok, so I initially voted that if she has a boyfriend you should probably give up and move on to someone else, but then I realized I was being a bit of a hypocrite for saying that, given what happened in my own life.

Background story:

In the fall of 2004, I had been dating the same girl for about four years. Unfortunately, after finishing her teaching degree at UofC, she was unable to immediately find work in Calgary but was offerred a job at a middle school in New Brunswick, which she took. Her plan at the time was to keep that job just for a year then move back to Calgary and try to find a teaching position here again. So we did the distance relationship thing for a few months.

In October, I met another girl through a mutual friend, and we instantly hit it off. After hanging out for just one evening I felt I had more chemistry with her than I had with my then-girlfriend after nearly four years. Alas, I was seeing someone, and more importantly, she knew I was seeing someone, so neither of us made a move. After spending pretty much the whole weekend together, we exchanged phone numbers and email addresses and said we should get together again sometime (purely in a "just as friends" kind of way). A few days later we exchanged emails planning to meet again on Friday night to watch a movie.

On Wednesday, though, the unexpected happened. My girlfriend calls from New Brunswick in tears saying that the distance relationship wasn't working out and she thinks it would be better if we broke it off. Score! Now I'm suddenly single and got out of my relationship guilt-free. So on Friday night I meet up with my new friend as previously planned and casually mention in conversation that I'm no longer in a relationship (this was trickier than it sounds...). One thing led to another, and now I've got a new girlfriend!

How did it all turn out in the end? We got married last month.

So my advice to Wookie:

Take her up on her offer to go out for drinks. The worst that can happen is she stays with her boyfriend but you've made a new friend (who likely has other hot friends to whom she'll introduce you). The best case scenario sees her breaking up with her boyfriend at some point (for reasons that may or may not have anything to do with you) giving you an opening.
Good luck!

[Flames_Gimp]

hey, she sounded pretty desperate to go out after saying she would if she didnt have a bf, then saying she could go for drinks... sounds like maybe she would rather date you!

Dont give up!

[TheyCallMeBruce]

This pole sucks. Where's the "turn gay" choice?

[Grunt]

You're the man, Wookie - good job on asking her out. As for her response... as others have said, it kind of sounds like she might just have a "Mr. Right Now" and just blurted out the "i have a boyfriend" thing without thinking, sort of as a defense against all of the other guys that likely hit on her all the time. Then when she realized that it was a guy (you) who she might actually have interest in, she backpeddled hoping you would still be down with getting a drink.

The good news is that your next step is easy... you can either a) talk to her again and meet up for drinks (which you know she will agree to), or b) don't give it another thought and move on to the next one. Definitely a "good" kind of problem to have, as there is no pressure anymore.

I just recently got back into the dating game, and would agree that "The Game" is an excellent book. Also, check out "Double Your Dating" (online ebook) by David De'Angelo. This stuff is solid gold.

My approach to meeting women and dating changed the day I decided that this is MY reality, and -I- am the chooser not the choosee. I already know I'm a catch, however I don't yet know if that cute girl across the room is a good one, or a psycho. The only way to know is to just go for it and see what happens... the worst that can happen is that she rejects you, and even that can be pretty fun sometimes (especially if you get a good story to tell your friends later). It's all about how you frame things.

So yeah, if you want to see this girl, then see her. If you don't then don't, that easy. My opinion is to go out for a drink with her and see what unfolds... this will resolve any unanswered questions, as you'll either keep seeing her or you won't. Fun times either way :P.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

This pole sucks. Where's the "turn gay" choice?

Or become married to the sea

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

This pole sucks. Where's the "turn gay" choice?

Done!

[Buff]

I voted for finding another hottie before I read her response to you. It sounds like she is interested in you. Likely it was a good choice to not to immediately take her up on going for drinks. It would show her that you respect her relationship with her boyfriend.

I say ask her out again, and if she asks why you changed your mind just tell her that her previous reponse gave you the idea that she either doesn't have a boyfriend or the relationship is almost over.

[Hack&Lube]

She sounds like she is interested. Tentatively, you can't really do anything. Just stick around and be friendly and cool if you're okay with that. Things may change but I don't suggest you ask her out again. It's her call now. All you can do now is insidiously stick around in her head as an option.

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

She sounds like she is interested. Tentatively, you can't really do anything. Just stick around and be friendly and cool if you're okay with that. Things may change but I don't suggest you ask her out again. It's her call now. All you can do now is insidiously stick around in her head as an option.

so what H&L is saying is strap on the banana hamock and walk buy her as much as possible

[Hack&Lube]

Originally Posted by return to the red

so what H&L is saying is strap on the banana hamock and walk buy her as much as possible

SPEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!! (sung to the tune of Star Trek)

[Wookie]

Originally Posted by Flames_Gimp

hey, she sounded pretty desperate to go out after saying she would if she didnt have a bf, then saying she could go for drinks... sounds like maybe she would rather date you!

Dont give up!

Hehe, yeah, although I'm not really 100% on how it sounded, since I was just kinda playing it cool

Originally Posted by Grunt

You're the man, Wookie - good job on asking her out. As for her response... as others have said, it kind of sounds like she might just have a "Mr. Right Now" and just blurted out the "i have a boyfriend" thing without thinking, sort of as a defense against all of the other guys that likely hit on her all the time. Then when she realized that it was a guy (you) who she might actually have interest in, she backpeddled hoping you would still be down with getting a drink.

The good news is that your next step is easy... you can either a) talk to her again and meet up for drinks (which you know she will agree to), or b) don't give it another thought and move on to the next one. Definitely a "good" kind of problem to have, as there is no pressure anymore.

I just recently got back into the dating game, and would agree that "The Game" is an excellent book. Also, check out "Double Your Dating" (online ebook) by David De'Angelo. This stuff is solid gold.

My approach to meeting women and dating changed the day I decided that this is MY reality, and -I- am the chooser not the choosee. I already know I'm a catch, however I don't yet know if that cute girl across the room is a good one, or a psycho. The only way to know is to just go for it and see what happens... the worst that can happen is that she rejects you, and even that can be pretty fun sometimes (especially if you get a good story to tell your friends later). It's all about how you frame things.

So yeah, if you want to see this girl, then see her. If you don't then don't, that easy. My opinion is to go out for a drink with her and see what unfolds... this will resolve any unanswered questions, as you'll either keep seeing her or you won't. Fun times either way :P.

Lol, thanks.

I'll probably just keep being chatty, no pressure, see how it goes.. kinda play it conversation to conversation... Try to gauge what she's thinking, I'm sure if she's interested I'll be able to tell.

Originally Posted by Buff

I voted for finding another hottie before I read her response to you. It sounds like she is interested in you. Likely it was a good choice to not to immediately take her up on going for drinks. It would show her that you respect her relationship with her boyfriend.

I say ask her out again, and if she asks why you changed your mind just tell her that her previous reponse gave you the idea that she either doesn't have a boyfriend or the relationship is almost over.

Yeah, I've thought she seemed interested the whole time. Although that can be misread for someone who is genuinely friendly, which was why the initial wondering about asking her out.

I'll probably keep up on it, but passively.

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

She sounds like she is interested. Tentatively, you can't really do anything. Just stick around and be friendly and cool if you're okay with that. Things may change but I don't suggest you ask her out again. It's her call now. All you can do now is insidiously stick around in her head as an option.

Agree - can't really do much until I see how she's going to act. If she's interested there will have probably been some thinking on her part and I might be able to get an idea of what it is.

[Wookie]

Originally Posted by icarus

It sounds like this girl is in need of some serious wookie lovin'.

She is more into you than her boyfriend, and she's now thinking to herself... 'damn, I could have upgraded'. You just caught her off guard and she didn't know how to lie about the bf. If she had no interest she wouldn't have been so hesitant and wouldn't have suggested a drink.

Keep chatting with her when you go to the pool, you'll win her over. She's dying for some Chewie screwy.

HAHA, chewie screwy!

Yeah, she seems into it... But maybe after she's thought about it she could go either way.

Looks like its more swimming for me. By the end of this I may just be ready for Summer 2008

Originally Posted by vanisleflamesfan

Yeah, something just doesn't add up here... Wookie, you mentioned earlier in the thread that you had talked to this girl before, on several occasions, sometimes for 10 or 20 minutes right? (There is NO WAY I am searching back through THIS crazy thread to find it). Well, I think we all know that it is standard operating procedure for any woman who has a boyfriend to find SOME way to work him into the conversation as early as possible, usually from 30 seconds, anywhere to 5 minutes.

So if this "boyfriend" never came up before... I call "BS". I say that there is no boyfriend.

I have cited the relevant sections of EG's post... If you are still interested, try again in a few days... just something simple like "so how about that drink?" That way you will be sure to find out about how they "just broke up" or some other such.

Yeah, thought about bringing up the drink again. But I think I'll give it a conversation or two.. See how that goes, but I think at this point I'm committed to seeing this through for entertainment value for the bunch here Well that and first off that I am interested anyway.

Originally Posted by icarus

She didn't bring it up because she wanted to flirt--for fun, for ego, or maybe get some wookie nookie. Life would be even more dull for a lifeguard if she brought up the fact she had a boyfriend by the five minute mark of every conversation.

HAHA,
Hi,
Hi - I have a boyfriend..
Oh, okay, that was weird.... bye..

Yeah conversations like that wouldn't be very interesting