Derogatory Words

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by Phaneuf3

but that's the thing, i don't use those words in that way.
i was friends with a guy back in high school that would often refer to himself as a f%g. not a big deal - nobody in my circle of friends got offended by it - he was comfortable using it. once in a conversation with another one of our mutual friends, i made the mistake of referring to him as a f%g - meaning he was a homosexual male - and damn i got a strip torn off me.

Ok so what's the question? You're wondering why somebody might be offended by that? I think your losing me here. Like I said, there are words that some people don't find offensive, but that others do. You can only have a general idea and overall recognition that particular words are probably less suitable then others.

In your example: you claim your friends use the word fag a lot. But obviously it was offensive to somebody else.

edit: A personal example is the word '######'. Whenever I hear or see it on this forum, it makes me cringe a bit. I used to work with people with disabilities and lately it's been thrown around quite a bit on here. However, I'm probably the last person to tell people how to talk, since I probably do the same thing with other words anyways.

[Phaneuf3]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

Ok so what's the question? You're wondering why somebody might be offended by that?

pretty much.

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

In your example: you claim your friends use the word fag a lot. But obviously it was offensive to somebody else.

Friend A used the word 'fag' to describe his own homosexuality around friend B and myself. everyone was fine with this usage. i used the word 'fag' to describe friend A's homosexuality in a conversation with friend b. friend b gets ****ed off.

i don't understand how a word is ok to use by one person and not another when the intended meaning and such is exactly the same (ie not as a slur).

[JiriHrdina]

My 2 cents, and these are my views, not as a moderator of this site, but rather my own personal feeliings.

I can understand the argument that "they are just word".

But the fact is words mean a lot in this society, so let's dispense with that right away. They are not just words.

More than that though - if a group of people doesn't want to be called something, or doesn't want a word used - why is that a big deal. The dictionary is pretty big - find different words to use.

If someone is offended by a word, that's enough for me, I don't even really even need to know why.

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by Phaneuf3

pretty much.

Friend A used the word 'fag' to describe his own homosexuality around friend B and myself. everyone was fine with this usage. i used the word 'fag' to describe friend A's homosexuality in a conversation with friend b. friend b gets ****ed off.

i don't understand how a word is ok to use by one person and not another when the intended meaning and such is exactly the same (ie not as a slur).

Well I guess my suggestion would be that people who have certain characteristics where a derogatory word can be used to describe them, and are comfortable with using said term to describe themselves, usually are not content with people who DO NOT possess the framed characteristic using the exact same term.

Wow that's a run on sentence.

[housejunk]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

Well I guess my suggestion would be that people who have certain characteristics where a derogatory word can be used to describe them, and are comfortable with using said term to describe themselves, usually are not content with people who DO NOT possess the framed characteristic using the exact same term.

Wow that's a run on sentence.

Run on sentence or not, your idea is bang on. Indivdiuals who are in the class that the derogatory term is directed towards may choose to use the term themselves to take some of the power out of it. The obvious, classic example is n****r. Many black people have taken ownership of that term. Just because they may choose to use it themselves, doesn't mean that the hateful conotation has been removed when a non-black indivdiual says it.

Language is far more than just strict verbal meaning. Who says a word, how they say it and when they say it means just as much as the word itself. Context is everything. I'd like to believe most people understand that.

[Ford Prefect]

An indcident my nephew experienced kind of relates to the question posed in the initial post, which was why can some people get away with certain politically incorrect words, whereas other people can't. At least as far as politically incorrect racist remarks go. My nephew was working with a fellow from a non-white ethnic group who was accused of being racist for something he said that was politically incorrect regarding a different ethnic group. The fellow's response was "But I can't be racist. I'm not white." There you have it. You have to be white to be racist. Of course this in only one incident, but it represents a mind set I've noticed in others as well.

Not that I have a problem with political incorrectness. It beats the heck out of the alternative. I found this incident kind of amusing and revealing though.