Friendships?

[snootchiebootchies]

Maybe have some kids? I hardly have time to hang out with many of my friends anymore, either because they have much older kids than mine or do not have any kids at all. But I have been hanging out with the parents of my children's friends because of play dates, school events, birthday parties, etc.

[TheIronMaiden]

Originally Posted by MelBridgeman

Don't post excessively and obsessively on an online sports forum

It's funny that you mention this. I think that posting on a forum is a symptom rather than a cause of loneliness. I know that I became interested in Calgary Puck only after I moved away from my friend group and knew no one who shared my interests in sports. Now that I am more established where I am It is nice to have a few people to chat with about sports and such during my mircobreaks at work, seeing as how I largely work alone.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by snootchiebootchies

Maybe have some kids? I hardly have time to hang out with many of my friends anymore, either because they have much older kids than mine or do not have any kids at all. But I have been hanging out with the parents of my children's friends because of play dates, school events, birthday parties, etc.

That seems like terrible reason to make an 18+ year commitment.

[Scornfire]

Volunteering is a great avenue, even just shopping at boutique stores like local coffee shops, "dive bars", smaller garden centers (weird leap, I know), people just seem more engaging and interested in interacting in smaller venues

[PsYcNeT]

Outside of co-workers that I've become friendly with over the years (both mine and my wife's), the scatter of high school friends I still see infrequently, and the guys I go to hockey games with (there is overlap), my closest friend circles have come through video games (shocker, I'm sure) and D&D.

The best thing nowadays too is that you have a circle of friends that hang out on Discord when they're playing games or just at home (or on their phone) and you can shoot the ####, post dumb garbage and hit them up to come play Apex or whatever when you want to socialize. I'm sure it's the same on the PS/XBOX social networks as well. Most of us live in different cities, but the folks I'm closest with (Calgary, Red Deer, Lethbridge) will come by and LAN every couple months so we get down to it in person here and there.

[FireGilbert]

Oh man I can totally relate. When I came to Oz by myself as a backpacker at 26 I quickly made a bunch of friends at hostels and share houses . Unfortunately after a year I had decided to stay while they all moved back home. I was pretty much alone in a new country while at the same time losing touch with my friends from Calgary. It was so hard to make friends. While I met a lot of people through work and other activities it always felt like I was an outsider in a long established friendship group.

Eventually things turned around and now I have a handful of good friends met through work or my wife. Still nothing like my friend group from Calgary but it’s something. My advise would be to put yourself out there at work. Eat lunch with your coworkers, go for after work drinks, and join the social club. You’ll eventually find someone with similar interests. Also hit up the dating apps. You’ll at least have a social life that could eventually lead to a relationship and introduction to a new group of friends.

[squiggs96]

Have you thought about joining the military?

[jammies]

Embrace misanthropy and glory in beautiful solitude.

[Jiggy_12]

It takes time and has to happen organically, and you need repeated exposure to the same people for something to develop.

So, sports teams are a good one. Beer league slo-pitch has a pace which is very conducive to socialization.

maybe head to a local pub a few times, somewhere that has a vibe which encourages mingling (Cold Garden in Inglewood comes to mind)

Get a dog and go for regular walks in your neighborhood, you'll cross paths with a lot of the same people frequently and strike up conversations. Plus, the dog obviously will be your best friend.

I know most people go to the gym to focus and workout, but a surprising amount of people want to be chatty there, plus you'll obviously get the phsyical benefits (I say this with zero knowledge of your current fitness level).

[GGG]

I think the Kindergarten approach is almost required.

When my daughter started she came home from school and said I made 5 new friends. I said do you want to be my friend, they said yes, and then we played all recess

I think we become friendless becuase we don’t put in the effort required to maintain them. Without the forced connection of school or work it takes real effort to maintain a relationship.

Recently I have been making a real effort to see people and talk to people regularly as I realized I hadn’t talked to or seen close friends in years.. I haven’t taken the step to just flat out ask people to be my friend but I think that spirit of just asking and then doing stuff would work as an adult.

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by habernac

I live on a cul-de-sac. I saw a bunch of people drinking beer on their driveway so I grabbed a couple of beers, walked down and introduced myself. I now have people who keep an eye on my house when I'm away, we look out for each other's kids, etc.

Stuff like this.

I’ve never found finding friends difficult. I’m an extrovert. I reached out to a guy in my community through Twitter and invited him to a junior hockey game and he invited me over for a beer. I interacted with a guy on Facebook and I invited him for coffee. Friendships made in both cases.

My wife and I have friends from churches we’ve attended and I have several from my community volunteerism. I sit on a community board. Oh you like junior hockey? So do I; let’s go together. We’ve hosted neighbourhood parties.

Be imaginative.

[Shazam]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Also, in my experience, getting drunk with people is a great way to make friends. I actually have quite a few friends that came from just randomly meeting them at the bar one night. You don't have to do it every time you get together but having a real good piss up with people is a great way to form bonds and get future invites for some reason.

You're like my brother. He’d go to bars by himself so he could meet new people.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by Bonded

You know, I was looking at some those clubs and lodges and it is too bad they don't really seem to exist for younger people. Looks like they were a great way to connect with the local community.

I've been an Oddfellow for about 15 years now, dragged kicking and screaming into it by a friend who needed votes for his 'projects', what I found was different lodges have such different members, some are basically a bunch of guys in their 80's and they and the lodge itself are just waiting to die, but others have 'younger' members and are quite lively.

I love the good works we do in the community and I love spending time with the older guys who remind me of my long dead grandfather.
I'm not sure what the Mason's and Elks are up to but we Oddfellows are alive and kicking, next week I will proudly cook up breaded Oysters for the Ladner Lodges 120th annual oyster fest', the lodge was initially a fishermans lodge hence the Oysters, the lodge is about the oldest organization in Ladner and being part of something that has been around longer than the town is really very very cool.

In Friendship Love and Truth Brothers....

[8 Ball]

Originally Posted by squiggs96

Have you thought about joining the military?

I was waiting for this one lol

[Canadianman]

Find a team sport to play.

Volunteer.

[troutman]

Also an introvert, and I enjoy my quiet time 2-3 nights per week.

I'm 52 and fortunate to have a few circles of friends.

My oldest and closest friends are from Jr. High and High School. These are unconditional friendships - even though we are different in many ways, we have been through a lot together.

I have a group of friends through my children - we worked together in a school association.

I have a few good friends through fly fishing and CP.

I play shinny every week, and have made some good hockey buddies.

Another group I entered plays D&D and board games once per month.

Following my bliss, I realized my great passion is music, and I volunteer at music festivals and community radio. In this way, I met people who are most like me.

So, keep in touch with your school chums, and do the things that you enjoy.

[Aleks]

Play hockey, join a team! I've established countless friendships through rec league team sports. Great way to do it, hang out after games, get to know people better

[DoubleK]

Totally not pathetic.

As others have mentioned, the Meetup app works as does meeting people through CP. It's not easy and will take a bunch of time, but the effort is well worth it.

[Dion]

Like Troutman i'm also introvert who loves the quite times that I set aside for myself each week. Need time to recharge that batteries.

I'm a huge believer in quality over quantity and have a select group of friends. They are special to me in their very unique way.

Some of them are the guys I golf with on a regular basis with the others being from the small town I live in. Plus a couple from this online forum.

I love to meet new people and have found that volunteering is an excellent way to do that. I did some time with the High River Hospital's second floor and Foothills Special Olympics.

I'm a movie fanatic and I spend many evenings helping a good friend run his movie theatre in High River. Greeting patrons as they leave and having discussions about the movie that was shown is another way for me to meet people.

Participating various sports is also a good way to meet people.

[JohnnyB]

Work is generally too political to make friends for me. I just don't want personal and work life to mix too much. I do have numerous friends that I've made out of joining an organization that works on things I care about though. It really brought me together with a community of like-minded people who I collaborate with now.

In truth though, I made a lot of my purest friendships during my MBA. I went back to school in my 30s for that and while it was terrible for my liver it was great for my friendships. Gave me great bonds with people that I maintain even though we're mostly in different cities now. We always meet up when travelling around Asia and we can talk about anything openly and non-judgmentally.