Edmonton is No Good VI: Chia•den•freu•de

[Roof-Daddy]

2 presidents of hockey ops
4 general managers
7 coaches
12 years
4 1st overall picks
15 1st round picks

1 playoff appearance

Old, slow, cap maxed team that isn't even holding a playoff spot and would probably be dead last in the NHL if they didn't have Mc2ndstar gifted to them undeservedly 3.5 years ago.

Nice rebuilding you colossal no good garbage franchise, and embarrassment to pro sports teams everywhere.

[zamler]

Originally Posted by Roof-Daddy

2 presidents of hockey ops
4 general managers
7 coaches
12 years
4 1st overall picks
15 1st round picks

1 playoff appearance

Old, slow, cap maxed team that isn't even holding a playoff spot and would probably be dead last in the NHL if they didn't have Mc2ndstar gifted to them undeservedly 3.5 years ago.

Nice rebuilding you colossal no good garbage franchise, and embarrassment to pro sports teams everywhere.

And this is the sugar coated version.

[TheScorpion]

Nugent-Hopkins is certainly an upgrade on Backlund offensively, but definitely not in terms of overall game. However, I do think he'd be better-suited to the 2C role than Backlund.

[Vinny01]

Originally Posted by Roof-Daddy

2 presidents of hockey ops
4 general managers
7 coaches
12 years
4 1st overall picks
15 1st round picks

1 playoff appearance

Old, slow, cap maxed team that isn't even holding a playoff spot and would probably be dead last in the NHL if they didn't have Mc2ndstar gifted to them undeservedly 3.5 years ago.

Nice rebuilding you colossal no good garbage franchise, and embarrassment to pro sports teams everywhere.

In 10 of those 12 years their first round pick was top 10 and 6 of those years top 4 and obviously you mention the 4 times they pick 1st overall.

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by Captaincanada80

Terry Jones at it again. Says he thinks McDavid and Leon should do a reverse Dallas and call out Management

https://edmontonsun.com/sports/hocke...management/amp

It's almost like he's suffering dementia or something as a few weeks ago he was praising management. It's always hard for companies to tell long term employee that it's time to retire but it's been a tough last decade for Jones who has gone from once respected columnist to total hack.

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by TheScorpion

Nugent-Hopkins is certainly an upgrade on Backlund offensively, but definitely not in terms of overall game. However, I do think he'd be better-suited to the 2C role than Backlund.

You can never say never with the Oilers but trading RNH for Backlund would be a preposterous trade for even them. RNH is younger and has more offensive upside. Backlund's 6 goals would simply make their secondary scoring issues far worse.

[drewtastic]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

It's almost like he's suffering dementia or something as a few weeks ago he was praising management. It's always hard for companies to tell long term employee that it's time to retire but it's been a tough last decade for Jones who has gone from once respected columnist to total hack.

The sad (yet glorious for us!) thing is that so many of their MSM are like this: Spector, Staples, Stauffer...they’re all hardcore fans disguised as beat-reporters/media personalities.

In this specific case, one has to ask how Jones believes ConDor and DrySides deserve to make such a dramatic claim of management when:

(1) they’re both getting paid to the moon and back, limiting management’s ability to flesh out the roster (especially Arrid-Extra-Dry, who’s clearly overpaid)

(2)

The fact that, despite putting up points routinely, neither one has committed to the defensive side of the game IN ANY FORM OR FASHION. I know +/- is a disputed stat, but how is it that a man (Dry-Run) can put up 1G 1A and STILL be a -2 on the night?!? True, they never leave the ice, but one would expect more from them given their anointment as Demi-gods by the oilers “media”. These superheroes are supposed to be carrying the play at all times, every time and yet >shock!< they don’t.

At very least, these guys are supposed to be leaders, capable of pulling their team together in difficult stretches. I mean, surely, it must not be THAT difficult to mutter “Let’s Go” multiple times a season. Yet Jones himself stated that after the third goal, the Oilers “folded”, allowing the Sharks to stake a 6-1 lead, only after which the dynamic duo put up the remainder of their points. Heroic! Clutch!

Part of the reason that the oilers are on their 5th coach in seven years is because none of these coaches could get any of their “star players” to commit to any form of defensive play. Is this not also becoming apparent with these two? Points first, team play be damned.

Now look. There is no doubt that the Oiler management team is inept. This much is clear. But is it really within the purview of McDingDongTheHitchIsDead and DryByNight to make this stand?!? Moreover, so long as the individual accolades and points are coming, do they really care?

Perhaps somewhat ironically, if these two WERE to make a stand and demand more from management, the best thing management could do to improve the team would be to trade one of them for multiple depth assets. (And frankly, if I were an Oiler, I’d be calling out management publicly all the time in the hopes that they’d trade me immediately.)

But nothing changes, either way. The culture in that franchise is so firmly rooted in 1980s entitlement that only a Leaf-like cleaning of the house top-to-bottom will change things. And that’s not happening, so long as the urine rivers flow out the back of Rexall Jr. and the mullets wave in the Whyte Avenue wind. And upper-management knows a thing or two about winning, after all.

So, to borrow from our friend TextCritic:

Not even NorMcDavid-Rae standing up to evil management can save them.

No one can.

No one.

[Roughneck]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

They need to restart Oilchange

How the Oilers change oil:

[spuzzum]

Rumours floating on Ched 630 that the Oilers are about to fire the GM

[dammage79]

And they acquired Alex Petrovic from FLA for Chris Wideman and a 3rd.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by spuzzum

Rumours floating on Ched 630 that the Oilers are about to fire the GM

I like it if Wayne (with the Captain) takes over.

[Vinny01]

Originally Posted by spuzzum

Rumours floating on Ched 630 that the Oilers are about to fire the GM

So they make a trade and fire the GM right after?

[spuzzum]

Originally Posted by Vinny01

So they make a trade and fire the GM right after?

KLo making his return

[Fuzz]

The only way to read this is Chia knowing he is on his way out, and trying to sewer the team(further) with this trade and whatever else he is cooking up. Keep at it, agent Chia!

[topfiverecords]

Originally Posted by Hey Connor, It's Mess

https://www.rogersplace.com/introduc...-nicks-burger/

Never a bad time to revisit the "Bobby Nick's Burger."

Spoiler!

What a bunch of morons. His name is Nicholson. Nich. Nich. Not Nick. You can’t shorten a last name and change letters to suit whatever your daily northern sweatpants ignorance is.

[StAlbertFlame]

Originally Posted by spuzzum

KLo making his return

Please, Por Favor, s’il vous plaît, Bitte etc. Bring back Kevin Lowe

[Kidder]

Originally Posted by Roof-Daddy

2 presidents of hockey ops
4 general managers
7 coaches
12 years
4 1st overall picks
15 1st round picks

1 playoff appearance

You sir have inspired me.

May I present to the board:

The 12 years of S##tness (An Edmonton Oilers appreciation piece)

*ahem ahem* On the first year of S##ness the Oilers gave to thee:

• One year of non futility (raise the banner)

On the second year of S##ness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Two Presidents (Chiarelli replaced Lowe on April 24, 2015… 7 career Stanley Cups between them, so they know a little bit about winning, if there’s ever a concern).

• And One year of non futility

On the third year of S##tness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Three 62 point seasons (we’re talking non shortened seasons, Oilers finished with 62 points three Times (9/10, 10/11, 14/15). For reference, the Flames lowest point total in a non shortened season was 67 (97/98 - young guns era) Which the Oilers also accomplished in 13/14.

• Two Presidents
• And One Year of non futility

On the fourth year of S##tness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Four 1st overalls (we’re all aware, three consecutive, two of which have been traded for hot garbage)

• Three 62 point seasons
• Two Presidents
• And One year of non futility

On the fifth year of S##tness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Five Dumb GMs! (This assumes theys pull the plug on Chiarelli here shortly, and probably replace him with Gretzky or Darryl Katz’s son).

• Four 1st overalls
• Three 62 point seasons
• Two Presidents
• And One year of non futility

On the sixth year of S##tness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Six Div basement dwellings (The Oilers have finished dead last in their division six times in the past 12 years, 06/07, 09/10, 10/11, 11/12, 13/14, 15/16)

• Five Dumb GMs!
• Four 1st overalls
• Three 62 point seasons
• Two Presidents
• And One year of non futility

On the seventh year of S##tness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Seven jerseys changing (The oilers have worn a different jersey set in seasons 06, 07, 08, 11, 13, 15, 17… when fans burn or toss their sweaters on the ice as frequently as Edmontonians you need to produce lots of different jerseys for consumption) Oilers Jerseys

• Six Div basement dwellings
• Five Dumb GMs!
• Four 1st overalls
• Three 62 point seasons
• Two Presidents
• And One year of non futility

On the eighth year of S##tness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Eight Coaches swearing (Hitchcock is the eighth coach of the last 12 seasons, preceding him are Todd McLellan, Todd Nelson, Dallas Eakins, Ralph Krueger, Tom Renney, Pat Quinn, and Craig MacTavish).

• Seven Jerseys changing
• Six Div basement dwellings
• Five Dumb GMs!
• Four 1st overalls
• Three 62 point seasons
• Two Presidents
• And One year of non futility

On the ninth year of S##tness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Nine Starters failing (The Oilers have had nine different goalies placed in the #1 role in the past 12 years - qualifications, played at least 50 games for the Oilers and led the team in starts for at least one season (exception: new number one and real deal this time Mikko Koskinen…)

Jussi Markkanen 102, Dwayne Roloson 178, Jeff Deslauriers 58, Mathieu Garon 62, Nikolai Khabibulin 65, Devan Dubnyk 139, Ben Scrivens 78, Cam Talbot 217, Mikko Koskinen 19…

This goaltending list doesn’t even include Gerber, Danis, Bryzgalov, Labarbera, Fasth, Bachman, Bunz, Brossoit, Nilsson, Gustavsson, Montoya… all within the last 8 years!)

• Eight Coaches swearing
• Seven Jerseys changing
• Six Div basement dwellings
• Five Dumb GMs!
• Four 1st overalls
• Three 62 point seasons
• Two Presidents
• And One year of non futility

On the tenth year of S##ness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Ten Top 10 picking (The Oilers have had ten top 10 draft picks in the past 12 years! All are sure fire future hall famers):

2007 Sam Gagner (6), 2009 Magnus Paajarvi (10), 2010 Taylor Hall (1), 2011 Ryan Nugent Hopkins (1), 2012 Nail Yakupov (1), 2013 Darnell Nurse (7), 2014 Leon Draisaitl (3), 2015 Connor McDavid (1), 2016 Jesse Puljujarvi (4), 2018 Evan Bouchard (10). Don’t worry, next year’s top 10 pick will really be the final solution!

• Nine Starters failing
• Eight Coaches swearing
• Seven Jerseys changing
• Six Div basement dwellings
• Five Dumb GMs!
• Four 1st overalls
• Three 62 point seasons
• Two Presidents
• And One year of non futility

On the eleventh year of S##tness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Eleven Playoffs missing (needs no explanation)
• Ten Top 10 picking
• Nine Starters failing
• Eight Coaches swearing
• Seven Jerseys changing
• Six Div basement dwellings
• Five Dumb GMs!
• Four 1st overalls
• Three 62 point seasons
• Two Presidents
• And One year of non futility

And Finally!...

On the Twelfth year of S##tness the Oilers gave to thee:

• Twelve years of Flames fans laughing (Thanks Oilers! The gift that keeps on giving)
• Eleven Playoffs missing
• Ten Top 10 picking
• Nine Starters failing
• Eight Coaches swearing
• Seven Jerseys changing
• Six Div basement dwellings
• Five Dumb GMs!
• Four 1st overalls
• Three 62 point seasons
• Two Presidents
• And One year of non futility

Happy Holidays!

TL;DR…. Oilers are no good.

[Jay Random]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

What a bunch of morons. His name is Nicholson. Nich. Nich. Not Nick. You can’t shorten a last name and change letters to suit whatever your daily northern sweatpants ignorance is.

Every guy named Mike (not Mich) begs to differ. First name, last name – no difference in the rules.

[Roof-Daddy]

Fabulous job Kidder! Haha awesome

[Flash Walken]

Originally Posted by Reggie Dunlop

Usually he's playing through a bad bout of freckles around then too.

McDenge Fever