Edmonton is No Good VI: Chia•den•freu•de

[spuzzum]

Originally Posted by Heavy Jack

Just missing the heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea

Is it allowed to have a doctor behind the bench with an IV bag?

Do NHL players call in sick or must you get a doctors note?

McDavid makes $146k per game (12M ÷ 82). Does he have sick pay?

[Jay Random]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

They forgot to mention McDavid's diaper rash, the time he had tummy troubles and Katz had to feed him some prune squishers or the time he suffered from the cranky cranks and needed some num nums from mommy.

Thanked just for ‘num nums from mommy’. One rarely sees patronization and withering scorn combined so deftly.

[McG]

Originally Posted by Jay Random

Thanked just for ‘num nums from mommy’. One rarely sees patronization and withering scorn combined so deftly.

One rose ceremony and one trip to the casting couch and everything will feel better.

[calf]

Originally Posted by LWcrowfoot

Sportsnet Oilers reports Monahan had a broken wrist and a sore wrist.

It would be like saying he was vomitting and had nausea.





Wait...

[the2bears]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

They forgot to mention McDavid's diaper rash, the time he had tummy troubles and Katz had to feed him some prune squishers or the time he suffered from the cranky cranks and needed some num nums from mommy.

Don't forget 'colicy'.

[powderjunkie]

Originally Posted by dash_pinched

here ya go lol

That list shows 2 illness and 5 symptoms.

In reality, the list of his incredible ailments probably breaks down to:
1 bacterial strep throat/tonsils
1 viral cold/flu


The best part of this is that although not entirely preventable, a good medical staff could do a lot more to set up proactive processes to mitigate it. It likely boils down largely to some bad hygiene from McD or teammate(s). Or maybe the Oilers are too cheap to offer Purell on their charter flights. Maybe they don't wash their gear, but rather give it a quick hit of off brand Febreeze?

[direwolf]

Congrats Oilers. You beat one of the worst teams in the league in a skills competition tonight. Cup parade back on!

We all know what happens when this garbage team faces tougher competition, as evidenced in the Dallas game the other night. They're gonna be in for a rough ride over the next few games:

Wild
Flames
@ Colorado
@ Jets

[McG]

When the greasers win I always have to fact check myself. It is no bad thing if the greasers pickup points along the way because maybe, just maybe, it perpetuates the current regime.

E=ng

[LWcrowfoot]

Originally Posted by calf

It would be like saying he was vomitting and had nausea.

Wait...

McDavid's hungry AND he hasn't eaten.

[Reggie Dunlop]

[Locke]

Originally Posted by spuzzum

Is it allowed to have a doctor behind the bench with an IV bag?

Do NHL players call in sick or must you get a doctors note?

McDavid makes $146k per game (12M ÷ 82). Does he have sick pay?

He probably threw his back out from carrying his Costanza-esque wallet around.

Legit LTIR.

[Reggie Dunlop]

[foshizzle11]

It is unreal how much PullyourRV looks like Franken Berry. All the time, when even I see him on the ice this is all I can think about. Could he looked any dumber?

Thanks guys for the amazing photoshop skills, love this thread.

Edmonton is no good!

[Split98]

Originally Posted by dash_pinched

The future is bright, folks.

https://twitter.com/user/status/1070335107641167874

I don't know how people like this are still employed TBH. He's not producing good content, everything he writes is as truthful as the White House, and nothing he talks about is worthwhile hockey talk. He just tosses out half-baked thoughts as optimism for the next round, then the next, then the next.

So why do people in Edmonton even like this guy? It's clear this is nonsense.


Lucic is under contract until 2023, so he's absolutely going to be there for the draft. Implying that your GM will have things taken care of is pretty stupid at this point - as it's much harder to imagine someone else taking Lucic than it is someone taking him off their hands. He's produced absolutely nothing for long enough. Nobody wants him.

Then he just slaps a bunch of kids' names up there to throw more heat on any prospect that has the misfortune of ending up here. So toss Lucic, and throw even more question marks on the pile. That they'll be TRANSFORMED by youth, with Bouchard, Benson, Hebig (Heisn't), McLeod, Maksimov, Jones, Gambardella, Perssonm Starret isn't something I'd tolerate too well as a fan.

A few of those look like good prospects coming down the pipe, but who the hell are Perssonm Starret and Gambardella?

I don't doubt that the Oilers intend on having every single one of them on the NHL roster by the time the draft rolls around... so I guess they'll have transformed from one crap team into yet another...

It would be funny to keep track of every time Edmonton media shouts out their next saviours and how that worked out for them.

[Textcritic]

Originally Posted by Split98

...It would be funny to keep track of every time Edmonton media shouts out their next saviours and how that worked out for them.

This is a fairly accurate description of this thread, and why it is on its SIXTH iteration.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Split98]

Originally Posted by Textcritic

This is a fairly accurate description of this thread, and why it is on its SIXTH iteration.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This is true

[Split98]

Originally Posted by Buff

I have been contemplating this. Hard to argue against McDavid but by years end I think a healthy debate could be had and probably sway people into the "Matthews is better" camp. The way it looks in Edmonton, McDavid is not being developed the way they need him to lead the team. He doesn't have tools around him to support him. It's just McDavid. McDavid will do it all.

Meanwhile, in Toronto, Matthews is surrounded by a lot of depth and top end depth at that. Matthews is given time to develop and not worry about carrying a franchise and being the one and only player on the team. Matthews is in a winning atmosphere right now while McDavid is in a losing atmosphere.

I don't think McDavid will reach his full potential of a generational player unless he moves to another team or the Oilers management is changed and the organization changes how they build the team. The former of the two options is the best choice for McDavid.

At this time McDavid is turning into a faster Pavel Bure.

I often wonder how much 'best player in the NHL' is actually nonsense. There are so many great players in the league that dominate different areas of the game, but the sports networks focus entirely on anointing a top-5

If McDavid was on the Hurricanes, do we even hear about him this year?

He blew the doors off everyone in 2016-17, but Kane won by a wider margin the year before. We hear a lot of how great Kane is, but we don't hear the 4 hour McDavid hype whenever the Blackhawks are playing.

He had another great year (tying Kane's point total from 2 years prior) but Giroux and Kucherov were nipping at his heels all season. IMO, MacKinnon not winning that year was a sham after he put a team on his back and dragged them to the post-season (and seemingly turned the COL franchise back around doing so, mind you).

Since McDavid has come into the league, some of the top players have been

McDavid
Crosby
Ovechkin
Kane
Kucherov
Giroux
Gaudreau
Tkachuk
Matthews
Eichel
Marner
Hall
Wheeler
Barzal
Stamkos
Panarin
Pastrnak
Laine
Forsberg

and I've bolded what the sports networks talk about (outside of 'star player X-Canadian team is playing tonight'... or 'who is worried about McJesus'). That's a lot of talent, and a lot of fun hockey that gets completely ignored.

Don't get me wrong, a guy scoring 100+ on a terrible team is incredible. I don't doubt he cracks 120+ on a good team. But there is more to hockey than scoring, and he doesn't bring much outside of that.

He can be the fastest in the world, and definitely has a good inside-track on breaking modern-era scoring records... but McDavid has just been the prettiest flower in a cloud of fart.


If I have to pick, the best player in hockey is still between Crosby and Ovechkin. It's a complex game, and I don't care who's winning the skills competition. If the networks were interested in actually showing you good hockey, they'd find a way to show you more MacKinnon, Kucherov and Barzal.

[BigFlameDog]

Originally Posted by dash_pinched

here ya go lol

Speaking from experience with my two brats....they, at different times, had all of those symptoms because of strep throat.

So I guess he had maybe just strep throat???

Note to parents of small children, after a few years of multiple cases of strep in my house we went and had those tonsils and adenoids removed and nada since. Been 5 years for one and 1 for the other. They also fastracked #2 because of the success with #1. Just an FYI that some of you will need I'm sure.

[sleepingmoose]

Originally Posted by Split98

I don't know how people like this are still employed TBH. He's not producing good content, everything he writes is as truthful as the White House, and nothing he talks about is worthwhile hockey talk. He just tosses out half-baked thoughts as optimism for the next round, then the next, then the next.

So why do people in Edmonton even like this guy? It's clear this is nonsense.

I remember when people in the media were supposed to be unbiased, and provide reporting on facts - I'm sure everyone had their favourite teams, but you couldn't get anyone to say. When you open Staples' Twitter bio, the first thing he has in there is "Oilers fan". Everything after that (if you couldn't somehow tell from his writing alone) is disregarded because he's obviously got his rose glasses on.

Pros like Duhatschek wouldn't ever say they're a "Flames fan".

[bc-chris]

Originally Posted by bc-chris

oh i can't wait for tonight's men's league game and the change room discussion!


will be breaking these out for fun....
gio with more points than the oilers #2-6 d combined
gio only 8 points back of mcdingle
johnny and mccrossover are tied in points with johnny having over an hour less ice time
chucky has more points this season than poolparty has in his career


oh the tears will be delicious!!! thank you cp for helping me educate others on how completely e=ng!

alright... so we had our men's league game last night and i shared these 'tidbits' (along with the others you guys mentioned) in the change room.

i think the one that got the best reaction was smitty being tied with caveman kassian in points and only one back of poolparty.

it was great!

one of the guys asked 'where do you find this kind of stuff?' and then another piped up before i could, 'is it from the oilers suck topic on calgary puck?'. i corrected him and said, 'they are from the oilers are no good thread, version 6... which is almost as many versions as consecutive oiler rebuilds!' ...which got lots more laughs!

thank you edmonton.... for being the essence of perpetual no goodness. and thank you cp, for creating lots of laughs and fun hockey talk in my men's team change room.

e=ng!