What is an “acceptable” cash gift for attending a wedding?

[mivdo]

100/person as well.

I am also getting married this summer. I think its pretty clear, Ozy_Flame you are invited.

[GordonBlue]

I can't understand making sure you give enough for the married couple to "break even" for their wedding. what they choose to spend (or overspend) shouldn't matter.

I do give more or less depending on the depth of my relationship to the bride or groom. work friend or distant relative gets less, best friends/close family would get more.

here's a question for you though. do you give the same or less if it's the persons second or third wedding?
I'm at an age where any wedding I go to usually isn't the persons first.

[Northendzone]

i think that it is reasonable to put some thought into how much per person is the wedding costing and provide that plus at least $75 as a minimum.

i also can't help but think that if you are thinking about the gift that hard, then maybe you should have turned down the invitation in the fist place.

i would also hope that in second/third marriage situations, that the happy couple is getting smarter and spending less on day of their lives.

but all this is coming from a guy who got married on the short of lake invermere in february with my sister and brother in law only there because we were too cheap to do anything more - like a wine and cheese/dinner somewhere.

i personally can't fathom people (like some of the ones on tv) that drop $50k or more on thier special day nor would i be excited as a parent to deal with an expectation to fund the wedding of my children - unless they wait until they are at least 30 to get married.

[GordonBlue]

Originally Posted by Northendzone

i think that it is reasonable to put some thought into how much per person is the wedding costing and provide that plus at least $75 as a minimum.

i also can't help but think that if you are thinking about the gift that hard, then maybe you should have turned down the invitation in the fist place.

i would also hope that in second/third marriage situations, that the happy couple is getting smarter and spending less on day of their lives.

but all this is coming from a guy who got married on the short of lake invermere in february with my sister and brother in law only there because we were too cheap to do anything more - like a wine and cheese/dinner somewhere.

i personally can't fathom people (like some of the ones on tv) that drop $50k or more on thier special day nor would i be excited as a parent to deal with an expectation to fund the wedding of my children - unless they wait until they are at least 30 to get married.

why is it reasonable to pay for that persons wedding and give them a $75 per guest extra on top of that? (at a minimum)
the price someone pays for their wedding should have no bearing on the size of your gift.

one of those agree to disagree things. I don't think it's reasonable at all to base one's gift on making a profit for the couple.

[loob job]

$100 a couple was acceptable 20 years ago, minimum now is $200 a couple.

[Amethyst]

Originally Posted by bluck

Haha the 3 I have are all different groups of friends and then the other two are my girlfriends. Just unlucky I guess :/

Well, hopefully that means you get them out of the way now and have a few summers off after that.

I think the idea of covering your cost is a guideline, but only a guideline. If the happy couple is having an elaborate wedding way fancier than anything I would have, do I cover that cost? Also, some guests have much better financial resources than others and I think it's reasonable for those who have less to give less.

When I've been invited to second weddings, they tend to be much more casual (one friend had a BBQ in the backyard) and I am more likely to give an actual gift, say some wine, than cash. It depends on the couple though.

[Huntingwhale]

I give a flat rate of $100, regardless of circumstances or who I go with.

[81MC]

Originally Posted by loob job

$100 a couple was acceptable 20 years ago, minimum now is $200 a couple.

Yikes. There are probably a good amount of people who couldn’t afford anywhere near that. Altering that suit that’s been hanging in the closet for a few years, new dress, babysitter, cab rides, all that stuff is an expense of attending the wedding. Wedding guests aren’t a piggy bank to recover the costs of your party. If one is truly expecting $200, maybe the reason for inviting someone should be evaluated.

[RyZ]

I give $100 in general. I have given more to my brothers when they got married, but for extended family/friends/etc its $100 flat.

When the wife and I got married 10 years ago, almost every single monetary gift we got was a $100 sum.

[lazypucker]

You go to the Dome to watch the Flames, down a few beers, eat some of the crap they serve. The team plays 40+ times per year, and you are ok with spending $150-$200 per person on a night.

And yet you go to a wedding that should only happen once in their lifetime ( not getting into a debate of divorce and remarriage), and you feel spending $100 is too much?

[Hockeyguy15]

Originally Posted by lazypucker

You go to the Dome to watch the Flames, down a few beers, eat some of the crap they serve. The team plays 40+ times per year, and you are ok with spending $150-$200 per person on a night.

And yet you go to a wedding that should only happen once in their lifetime ( not getting into a debate of divorce and remarriage), and you feel spending $100 is too much?

Yeah the people that do this are in the minority, most people don't.

[lazypucker]

Originally Posted by Hockeyguy15

Yeah the people that do this are in the minority, most people don't.

I am including the cost of the tickets too. $80 tix + $40 food & drinks + $30 parking & other stuff = $150 easily

[Hockeyguy15]

Originally Posted by lazypucker

I am including the cost of the tickets too. $80 tix + $40 food & drinks + $30 parking & other stuff = $150 easily

Most people still don't do this.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Yeah I don't know anyone that spends $150 a night per person at a Flames game 40 times a year.

As for the wedding, depending on how well you know them and how far you've travelled, paid for accommodations etc, I think $200 per couple seems reasonable. Maybe a bit more if it is someone you're really close to.

[Weitz]

As someone who recently got married, most people gave $100. Which is great.

But think about getting a gift though. Some of the gifts we got that were not on our registry were really cool and fun. But it was fun getting things we needed/wanted/didn't know we wanted.

[CaptainYooh]

Jesus, some of you guys are cheapos! Even in my university days, we never gave less than $50 per person. We are at a stage now when we go to our friends's kids' weddings. Giving less than $200 as a couple to attend a white wedding is a faux pax. We give $300 minimum, usually. The rationale is $100/pp to help cover the costs plus $100 as a true gift. Weddings are very expensive, even modest ones without too much fanfare. We are not there to get a free dinner, but to share the joy with our friends and to help them and their kids with the wedding costs. Most of the parents let the kids have the wedding cash and save for a downpayment.

Of course, it does depend on the venue and one's personal finances; nobody expects you to get a loan for a wedding present. Also, if the wedding party is a chips & beer party at the community centre, we would bring less. The point is, a wedding cash present amount should be meaningful, thoughtful, relative to the venue and your level of connection to the newlyweds.

[wooohooo]

I would think $100 is about right. When I got married about 3 years ago, it was mostly $75-100. Our break even was about $75 but we had a pretty simple wedding but we still had it at a hotel in DT, had a DJ etc.

We give $100 PP unless they're really good friends then we consider upping that to $200. If you want to have a simple lunch wedding with appetizers, that's cool. Take the extra money and use it for your new house or whatever. If you want to have an extra fancy wedding well, here's $100 and if you're short then sorry. Your fault for going all out

I think wedding's are getting out of control now with pintrest and Instagram. Everyone feels they need to one-up each other and defeats the entire purpose of celebrating the bride and groom's new 'life' with each other. Brutal

[dubc80]

My wedding tracker spreadsheet says the average was just over $85/person from my wedding 4 years ago.

This would include cash, or value in gift cards.

Some very generous donations and some mega cheapskates. A few people who didn't get us anything which was odd.

I give $100 per person and I think that is pretty standard. $100 doesn't go far these days.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by wooohooo

I would think $100 is about right. When I got married about 3 years ago, it was mostly $75-100. Our break even was about $75 but we had a pretty simple wedding but we still had it at a hotel in DT, had a DJ etc.

We give $100 PP unless they're really good friends then we consider upping that to $200. If you want to have a simple lunch wedding with appetizers, that's cool. Take the extra money and use it for your new house or whatever. If you want to have an extra fancy wedding well, here's $100 and if you're short then sorry. Your fault for going all out

I think wedding's are getting out of control now with pintrest and Instagram. Everyone feels they need to one-up each other and defeats the entire purpose of celebrating the bride and groom's new 'life' with each other. Brutal

This isn't really a problem. The problem is if the bride/groom are expecting the gifts to cover the cost of the wedding.

[dubc80]

#8 is pretty lucky in Asian culture so we got lots of $88, $108, $180, and even $800 in red envelopes.