CPHL Biography #2 - antithesis - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

HalifaxDrunk · 11-08-2006, 11:40 AM

antithesis – The real reason he doesn’t have a capital letter in his name.

Failed writer & comedian. Born Stephen Hank Rutabaga on September 21, 1978 in Wilmette, Illinois. The fifth of nine sets of twins, antithesis was a self-proclaimed troublemaker, whether it was getting kicked out of pee wee hockey for “touching” other players or being arrested at age 17 for attempting to smuggle twelve pounds of marijuana through Toronto’s Pearson Airport.

After receiving his high school equivalency, he briefly attended Brown Community College and later Saint Buggers College in Whitehorse, Yukon. antithesis worked as a waiter and lived in a dumpster for 3 years.

In an attempt to find direction in his life, he joined his twin brother, Isaac Doyle-Rutabaga, in the cast of Chicago's Second City improv comedy troupe as a writer. However due to a rare genetic disorder antithesis is deathly allergic to the shift & Caps Lock buttons on a keyboard, this has developed into a paralyzing phobia of capital letters. Unable to type a capital letter he was not considered good enough to write so he took up the lost art of bee hive hairdo stylist.

He was married to Margaret "Mickey" Schnare from 1991-1999. They have two sons, Michael and Jackie. In 2002, he married Shaniqua Butler with whom he has three sons, Tito, Jermaine and Marlon.

Currently antithesis stumbled his way into the General Managers office of the CPHL New Jersey Devils. It is not sure whether he was actually hired or if he is just squatting in the office with no where else to go.

Stay tuned for the next CPHL Biography: Beerfund – Don’t eat that!