Preschooler not sleeping ... any tricks or secrets?

[Bingo]

our 2.5 year old has hit the skids when it comes to sleeping. Tough age in that she's no longer a baby in a crip, nor old enough to completely coverse with leaving a lot of guess work.

She doesn't seem to want to be along in her room ... at the start or if she wakes up during the night.

She has a regular bed that she can get out of, and she can open the door now. She has a sound machine and has had one since she was 6 months.

We're doing everything we can to not let her in our room, but it's slowly killing the two of us in sleep deprivation.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

[Rhettzky]

Originally Posted by Bingo

our 2.5 year old has hit the skids when it comes to sleeping. Tough age in that she's no longer a baby in a crip, nor old enough to completely coverse with leaving a lot of guess work.

She doesn't seem to want to be along in her room ... at the start or if she wakes up during the night.

She has a regular bed that she can get out of, and she can open the door now. She has a sound machine and has had one since she was 6 months.

We're doing everything we can to not let her in our room, but it's slowly killing the two of us in sleep deprivation.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

We just went through this and it was very hard on us both at the start. I don't know if we fixed it the right way but it seemed to work.

When we switched to a regular bed we had the same problems. She just wouldn't sleep when it was bed time. So we started putting her to sleep in our bed to begin with, lying with her for a few minutes until she fell asleep. Then when we went to sleep we would put her back in her bed. This was hard at first because she would wake up in her bed calling for us but she eventually got use to it.

Then we started putting her in our bed without lying there. Gave her her milk, blanket, stuffed toy and told her it was sleep time. That was hard because she would get up and come downstairs and say "morning time" and pretend it was morning. But with persistence she would go from the bath to our bed and fall asleep on her own. This is where we're at now.

Next plan is to switch our bed to her bed. I'm sure it will be a little hard but making big changes to their routine in small steps is what we have found to be effective.

[BlackEleven]

My sister had the same problem when we were kids, I am told. My parents told my sister if she spent the whole night in her own room she would get a treat under her pillow when she woke up. They would leave her a little candy or cheap plastic toy or something. Apparently, it worked like a charm.

[Cheese]

the ONLY thing that worked for us was Anne Murray...no word of a lie every time we played Annie our son fell asleep. I suggest you try Rita MacNeil.
Barring that go for a car ride at 2am.

[troutman]

These tactics work sometimes:

Reading a couple of stories aloud seems to put my boys right out.

Drive the child around the block in her car seat.

Taking children swimming seems to exhaust them too.

Give her small rewards in the morning if she stays in her bed all night.

Lie down with her or beside her until she falls asleep.

[Ironhorse]

One of the other things to do is to put her back in her bed, tuck her back in but don't talk to her.

Our son was doing something similar at that age, and it is important to reinforce the bedtime thing. If you start conversing with them, it becomes another stalling tactic and could start driving you nuts.

Be sure that she has a favourite stuffed toy or something to "keep her safe" if she has anxiety.

[photon]

How dark is the room? About about 2 years 2 months my son suddenly didn't want to sleep alone. We got a night light and it was fine after that. Also some kids want the door left a bit open at night rather than being totally closed.

You have to discover the root of the problem; is it anxiety, or just simple not wanting to do what they're supposed to. Because if it's anxiety or fear you want to address that, whereas if it's just a situation where she's testing her will and boundries you have to be more firm.

My son is a bit like that; he doesn't know doorknobs yet but he does get out of his bed and turn on the light and play. And when I tell him to stay in bed he'll be in bed but put his feet on the floor.. and I tell him to stay off the floor he'll hang his feet over the edge almost touching the floor

There's been a few times when I've had to discipline him and put him back to bed six or seven times before he finally goes to sleep. But most nights it's never a problem.

I'd almost recommend a door she couldn't open, but if she's doing it out of fear or anxiety that would be cruel. And sometimes they get anxiety from places we wouldn't think. I can notice a difference in my son if I work a few days late and don't get home in time to see him off to bed, or if my wife and I are both busy and don't spend time together.

EDIT: And I agree with the talking part Ironhorse brings up. They'll use anything to stall.

[Nufy]

This may sound cruel but I had to put a hook on my sons outside door.

He would never settle down at bedtime until finally we had to lock him in his room.

He would cry and scream for a few minutes but afrea short while he would get the hint and put himself to bed.

Then of course we unook it before we go to bed.

It might seem a little harsh but nothing else would work......

[hah]

Originally Posted by Nufy

This may sound cruel but I had to put a hook on my sons outside door.

He would never settle down at bedtime until finally we had to lock him in his room.

He would cry and scream for a few minutes but afrea short while he would get the hint and put himself to bed.

Then of course we unook it before we go to bed.

It might seem a little harsh but nothing else would work......

We used a child safety gate to accomplish this.

[Frank the Tank]

Originally Posted by photon

My son is a bit like that; he doesn't know doorknobs yet but he does get out of his bed and turn on the light and play. And when I tell him to stay in bed he'll be in bed but put his feet on the floor.. and I tell him to stay off the floor he'll hang his feet over the edge almost touching the floor

That is AWESOME! Man that made me laugh out loud.

[Frank the Tank]

Originally Posted by fotze

I thought these sleep problems were long gone at that age? Well that is just great!!!!!

They never go away buddy! Just wait until he's around two and his molars start to come in. Its FUN!

[V]

What colour are the walls in the room?

Do you have a nightlight? Dimmer switch?

With my 2.5 yo daughter we've had to dim the lights to about 25% brightness so that she'll sleep at night. Otherwise she keeps getting out of bed to tell us it's too dark. If we dim the lights she'll go to sleep just fine, but we have to keep it dimmed or else she'll wake up in the middle of the night and cry about the room being too dark. Oh well, it's not too much of a drain on the energy bill, and at least we get a good night's sleep.

[looooob]

Originally Posted by Bingo

our 2.5 year old has hit the skids when it comes to sleeping. Tough age in that she's no longer a baby in a crip, nor old enough to completely coverse with leaving a lot of guess work.

She doesn't seem to want to be along in her room ... at the start or if she wakes up during the night.

She has a regular bed that she can get out of, and she can open the door now. She has a sound machine and has had one since she was 6 months.

We're doing everything we can to not let her in our room, but it's slowly killing the two of us in sleep deprivation.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

lol we are going through the exact same issue right now. want to trade kids?

[ericschand]

You have to be firm. Bedtime is bedtime, no more playing, no more
TV, books, snacks, drinks, etc.

I began a routine. A quick drink, washroom, vitamin, read a few
stories of her choice, kiss/hug, lights out. Don't want to hear or
see you again till the morning.

Mine would come out of bed, open the door, and sit in the hallway
as a form of protest.

So, fine. I told her, "I don't care where you sleep, as long as it's not
out here, and away from everyone else. Bedtime is bedtime."

Numerous times I would go into the hall, and there she was sleeping
in the hallway. Now days I sometimes find her in *my* bed, and have
to move her. *sigh* It ain't worth the fight.

I agree with one of the other posters, as long as it's not that
they are scared, you're ok. This part I worked out with the help
of the cat. One day a fly flew into the house. He promptly jumped
on it and ate it in front of me and my daughter.

Couple of days later, a cat decided to lounge in our front yard.
Our cat had a fit and eventually the outside cat went away.
About this time, my daughter started into the "I'm scared in the
dark", "Monsters in the closet" etc. So I told her that the cat
eats flies, chases off other cats, and *loves* getting rid of monsters.

Call the cat in (he will respond and come) he prowls for a minute,
leaves. No more monster issues!

ers

[Gobsgraham]

Originally Posted by Nufy

This may sound cruel but I had to put a hook on my sons outside door.

He would never settle down at bedtime until finally we had to lock him in his room.

He would cry and scream for a few minutes but afrea short while he would get the hint and put himself to bed.

Then of course we unook it before we go to bed.

It might seem a little harsh but nothing else would work......

Originally Posted by hah

We used a child safety gate to accomplish this.

I was starting to feel like a jerk until these came along. I would also lock them in the room with a baby gate on the bad nights.

If they get out of bed, warn them and put them back in bed. If they continue to get out of bed, keep putting them back and don't say a word to them. Eventually you will win but it is a long hard battle. (The baby gate is obviously a little easier.)

[looooob]

Originally Posted by fotze

I thought these sleep problems were long gone at that age? Well that is just great!!!!!

dream on bub....

[looooob]

Originally Posted by troutman

These tactics work sometimes:

Reading a couple of stories aloud seems to put my boys right out.

Drive the child around the block in her car seat.

Taking children swimming seems to exhaust them too.

Give her small rewards in the morning if she stays in her bed all night.

Lie down with her or beside her until she falls asleep.

1. didn't work for either of my kids
2. worked for my son, but only worth doing during his 6 months of intense colic, as he woke up as soon as we got home
3. doesn't work for us
4. used to work for us, not anymore
5. we do this sometimes, but not a long term solution...and sometimes it takes her 90 minutes to fall asleep and I miss even more hockey LOL

[Nicole]

I think consistency and having a routine is key. Children thrive on that and it makes them feel more secure. If you try to do the same thing everynight .. for example; take bath, brush teeth, read books, say prayers (if you do that) etc .. you should try and keep things pretty much the same everynight and eventually your child will get used to it and it will just be a regular part of their day. Of course there will be times when circumstances won't allow it but that is like anything in life and kids are usually pretty good to adjusting if they feel safe and secure in their environment.

I made a mistake with my boys. I decided about a year and a half ago to let my husband be in charge of getting the kids to bed (we used to BOTH do it) and I started to go to the gym at that time. Bad idea. My kids were used to me being there and so as a result they started to do anything to stall and would get absolutely out of control .. it was totally unlike them. I think they really wanted to see how far they could go with their dad and quite frankly he is too "soft" with them - terrific father but not stern enough and they know it! I pushed my gym time back further and now go after they are in bed (although it exhausts me :P ). After we have read them stories, I let them lie in bed with a lamp on and they are allowed to read to themselves but they are not allowed to get out of bed unless it's for something serious. It works really well and usually within 15 - 20 minutes they are fast asleep. I just think having pretty much the same routine everynight is what works and it's best to start it at a young age.

[Nicole]

Another thing - it's not gonna happen overnight. It takes time and it is exhausting and frustrating at times but it will get better. When my kids were preschool age, we often had to lie in bed with them. My 3 year old still comes into our bed in the middle of the night, at least 3 or 4 times a week. Usually we let him fall back asleep there and then move him back to his bed. Just be patient and try to get a good routine going and stick to it.

[photon]

I agree, a routine and a specific bed time is crucial.

And once you get it going, don't sacrifice it for ANYTHING. To me good sleep habits are the one thing I won't sacrifice. My son has great sleep habits now, it was hard fought.

I'd rather have a spoiled brat that screams in the restaurant but sleeps well over a calm child that doesn't sleep well.