10-18-2006, 09:20 AM
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#1
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: London, Ontario
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Help me with payback for the wife!
So, a little background. My wife is, well, perfect. Smart, gorgeous and funny as all hell. (How I landed her, I'll never know)
We have a lot of fun at home and we are always laughing and making fun of each other or just cracking each other up in general. My wife's friends refer to her as "Super Lip" because, well, she's really lippy.
The other day she was beaking off to me about something stupid I had done (could be a multitude of things, so don't ask) and when she was done, I said "I'm sorry hon, did you say something? Because all I heard was bock bock bock bock bock" and strutted around doing my best chicken impersonation. So after she let go of my nipples and they returned to their regular colour, I went and had a shower. Big mistake. She came in and flushed the toilet AND dumped a 2 litre jug of ice water over the top of the curtain. Not a good thing to do to a fat guy.
So what should I do next? This cannot go unanswered!!
__________________
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
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10-18-2006, 09:22 AM
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#2
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Violating Copyrights
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Fill her shampoo bottle with Nair. No, don't do that. Lemme think.....
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10-18-2006, 09:23 AM
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#3
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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Crowsnest Pass
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The Dutch Oven.
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10-18-2006, 09:26 AM
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#4
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: London, Ontario
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Quote:
Originally Posted by troutman
The Dutch Oven.
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Thats just part of everday life in my house. I need to kick it up a notch!
__________________
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
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10-18-2006, 09:31 AM
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#5
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Scoring Winger
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Quote:
Originally Posted by troutman
The Dutch Oven.
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I am sure Frank has done that already.
Not sure if your wife likes ice cream but if she does and has the odd ice cream cone at home here you go.
Fill the bottom portion of the cone with shaving cream and then add one or two scoops of the real thing to the top.
My older sister did this to my younger sister about 20 years ago and i still remember it all to well. No one knew what was going on as my younger sister dove across the table at my other sister.
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10-18-2006, 09:32 AM
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#6
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Playboy Mansion Poolboy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Close enough to make a beer run during a TV timeout
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Leave the plunger in the toilet tonight before you go to bed?
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10-18-2006, 09:36 AM
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#7
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: CP House of Ill Repute
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank the Tank
Thats just part of everday life in my house. I need to kick it up a notch!
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The Dirty Sanchez!!!
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10-18-2006, 09:38 AM
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#8
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in your blind spot.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank the Tank
Quote:
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Originally Posted by troutman
The Dutch Oven.
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Thats just part of everday life in my house. I need to kick it up a notch!
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The Cleveland Steamer
__________________
"The problem with any ideology is that it gives the answer before you look at the evidence."
—Bill Clinton
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance--it is the illusion of knowledge."
—Daniel J. Boorstin, historian, former Librarian of Congress
"But the Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity"
—WKRP in Cincinatti
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10-18-2006, 09:41 AM
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#9
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Powerplay Quarterback
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jizz in her shampoo bottle, harmless.
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10-18-2006, 09:44 AM
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#10
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Behind Nikkor Glass
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Film her on the toilet and put it on youtube...
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10-18-2006, 09:48 AM
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#11
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: London, Ontario
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OK, I still have to live with her and I still want to be married to her!!
__________________
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
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10-18-2006, 09:52 AM
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#12
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: San Jose, CA
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put food coloring or hair dye that only lasts a day or two (or more or less depending on what you want) in her shampoo that is the same color as her shampoo and she wont realize til its too late.
or you could smudge ink on the bottom of a pair of sunglasses and give them to her to wear..and then the ink will get on her nose where the glasses touch her face.
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10-18-2006, 09:53 AM
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#13
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Regulator75
Film her on the toilet and put it on youtube...
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Actually, that could be funny... wait for her to go pee and then jump in and take a picture of her... should be followed by hours of hilarity fighting over the camera/picture. Of course... you should probably give her the picture in the end so she can delete it...
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10-18-2006, 09:53 AM
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#14
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary
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A classic is if you have one of those detachable hose sprayer things on your tap, you can tape the handle down so when she goes to turn on the tap, she gets sprayed... seen that lots on funniest videos.
I like to inform my significant other "that its on".. even if you don't have anything at the time, they are constantly worried about how they're going to be revenged.
I have a bunch of good morgue tricks we used to play.. but I assume you don't have a morgue at your house...
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10-18-2006, 09:54 AM
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#15
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: London, Ontario
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Agamemnon
Actually, that could be funny... wait for her to go pee and then jump in and take a picture of her... should be followed by hours of hilarity fighting over the camera/picture. Of course... you should probably give her the picture in the end so she can delete it...
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The only thing that will come out of that is more pain for my already bruised nipples!
__________________
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
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10-18-2006, 09:55 AM
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#16
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: London, Ontario
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayems
A classic is if you have one of those detachable hose sprayer things on your tap, you can tape the handle down so when she goes to turn on the tap, she gets sprayed... seen that lots on funniest videos.
I like to inform my significant other "that its on".. even if you don't have anything at the time, they are constantly worried about how they're going to be revenged.
I have a bunch of good morgue tricks we used to play.. but I assume you don't have a morgue at your house...
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I've actually done that one with the kitchen sink! Haha!
__________________
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
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10-18-2006, 09:55 AM
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#17
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Crash and Bang Winger
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Beltline
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I feel like I am watching an episode of According to Jim.
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10-18-2006, 10:21 AM
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#18
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Lifetime Suspension
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Maybe a fake mouse or bug on fishing line and a hidden video camera?
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10-18-2006, 10:24 AM
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#19
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: 161 St. - Yankee Stadium
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Sleep with her sister and then put that on YouTube!!
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10-18-2006, 10:26 AM
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#20
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Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Calgary
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Greasing the toilet seat is always an option.. especially if she goes to the bathroom lots in the middle of the night.
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