Ugh...Tell Me About Cancer, Please

[kirant]

I'd like to start with condolences. It really breaks my heart to hear such news.

In my volunteering at a cancer support centre, a project I worked on was to create a database of websites which would be good for people to get a good accurate understanding of cancer. I still have the list on me and would be more than willing to give you a list of links to read more through if you'd like to get more information after you visit the doctor.

I would suggest that, if you do your own research, to go through Health on the Net. There is a lot of false information out there these days. HON screens data for you to sites only they have confirmed are accurate.

http://www.hon.ch/HONsearch/Patients/hunt.html

Cancer.gov and Cancer.ca are two excellent websites to see what you can do to help out (I'm partial to Cancer.ca as it is far more user intuitive).

[Dion]

Originally Posted by JonDuke

I did a decent search on here, and other than this thread, I didn't really find much about my questions.

My 62 year old, heavy smoking father was taken to the hospital last month due to abdominal pains, and they discovered a "mass" in his large intestine. They removed the mass, along with 8 inches of his intestine and he was under the impression that all was well, and that was the end of it.

Today, he was told he still has the cancer and that is has spread into his lymph nodes as well as into some other part of his body (due to shock, he doesn't recall everything that was said to him at the time, but it's also in a part of the body he has never heard of before). He starts chemo on the 14th.

I am going to call his Dr tomorrow morning for further clarification to his diagnosis. What are the main questions I should be asking?

My father lives alone in NB. I am very far from the 100K CP income club, but I do have access to flight benefits. Is the first chemo session something that I should fly home to support him with?

He just had double knee replacement a few months ago and finally is walking without a cane. Is this going to effect his mobility?

A quick peek online, and the ever opinionated Dr Google tells me once cancer reaches the lymph nodes, it is in the 3-4 stage. Is that true? ie: can you have cancer in the LN's and it not be stage 3 or 4? My wife's father was given 6 months when he was diagnosed and lived 5 years, so I'm not looking for a time frame, per say, but am wondering if it's that much more severe because it has spread outside of the intestine.

Other than my father in law passing 6 months after I married, I am very clueless to the subject. It's been an emotional day and I'm not sure exactly what to think but I've pulled up my big girl panties and just really want to know the true reality of the situation my family is facing. Looking for the straight up, non sugar coated, honest truth.

First off, sorry to hear of your fathers cancer. What cancer does to people is very cruel and I wish no one had to ever go through it.

Secondly, once the cancer has spread to other parts of a persons body his or her chances are not good. To have the best chance of survival you need to catch the cancer before it spreads through the lymph nodes.

My late father's cancer, a cousin and 2 other people that I knew, all had cancer that had spread through thier lymph nodes. All lasted no longer than 6 months with chemo only slowing the cancer growth and gaving them more time. That said i'm not a doctor or cancer expert and am just going on the expriences that friends and family went through.

What I learned from these experiences is to cherish whatever time you have left and be very supportive. Be there for your father in anyway that you can.

I would think that you could get a leave of absense from work on compassionate grounds.

Feel free to send me a PM if you have anymore questions.

Thinking of you and your father

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Sorry to hear about your father. I don't know if I would be able to tell you to take time off work or to go visit him because that is a decision that you will have to make for yourself, that being said he will definitely require your support as well as that of your family over the course of the treatment.

One thing that I can recommend is for you to talk to someone about it, often times as males we tend to repress our emotions, but to really be able to support your father, it is important for you to be in touch with your emotional well-being as well. Hospitals usually have some form of peer support service or even something like this message board is a great way to release pent up emotion and just vent.

[JonDuke]

We lost my Dad yesterday.
I found out 30 minutes after posting in the WRGMG thread about how I already disliked Thanksgiving.

Ever since he was given the prognosis, I've dramatically switched the way I look at life. The biggest change was trying to find the positives in anything, no matter how tough. It gave me a completely different outlook on life and I lost so much of the negativity that normally possessed my train of thought.
So many people lose a loved one suddenly, without being able to say goodbye.
I was able to do that though.
We spoke in depth about life and death, and said everything that was needed to be said.
Because I have an amazingly supportive wife and kids, and line of credit, I was able to fly back and forth numerous times to see him at home and in the hospital. I had been there 6 times in just the past 2 months alone, anywhere from 48 hours to 10 days. I was just there 2 weeks ago to surprise him for his 64th bday. Those trips were not easy and we struggled a lot to pull it off. Financially broke or not, I'm emotionally rich.

I'm glad I listened to my wife, and to those of you here who said, "just do it, and go see him". I will forever be grateful for that time and those laughs, and never look back with regret or wishing I could spend more time with him. That makes this whole thing that much easier.

I'll add this: A family friend was with him when he passed. She told us how, just before he passed, he spoke of a sparrow perched upon his food tray and how it was a member of our family ready to walk him to the light. He was frustrated that the friend could not see the sparrow (because it wasn't really physically there). He passed minutes later. I'm not religious at all, but hearing that was surreal. Almost comforting. I dunno if I'll ever look at a sparrow the same again. I

No need for condolences or anything. I just wanted to update and add the final chapter of this thread.

Thanks again for all the advice.
F#ck Cancer.

[Dion]

The memories you have of your dad will live on with you. Cherish the good times you had together and remember he is in a place where he doesn't suffer anymore.

[jeffporfirio]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss JonDuke.
Like I mentioned here I also lost my father to cancer; my prayers are with you and your family; it does get better, the pain subsides and the good memories resurface.

[Ducay]

Sorry to hear, but sounds like you guys did it in the best possible way. Here's to you and your dad!

[CaptainCrunch]

Sorry to hear about your loss, but it sounds lke you did all the right things.

[Ducay]

double post

[SeeGeeWhy]

Hey people, Robb wolf sent this email today about a 9 part documentary on the science of cancer, it debuts tonight:

https://go.thetruthaboutcancer.com/

"Hey folks,
Just a quick note to let you know that the documentary series The Truth About Cancer, premieres tonight. It’s free to watch and as I mentioned in my earlier email, there’s some great information on alternative cancer treatments — the ketogenic diet and hyperbaric oxygen chamber are two that I’m particularly interested in.


The docu-series is broken up into 9 parts. If you or someone you know is affected by cancer, please take the time to watch.

Robb"

[troutman]

My condolences. I love the story you shared about the sparrow.

We lost a good friend far too early last year. We sent his wife home to get some rest while he was near the end. After she left we could tell something was wrong, and called his wife to come back. He was basically comatose, but he held on to the very moment when she got back to hold his hand. He waited for her and it was beautiful.

[CroFlames]

Hey Jon hang in there buddy. Thank you very much for sharing your story and your struggle.

[Street Pharmacist]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Hey Jon hang in there buddy. Thank you very much for sharing your story and your struggle.

This may sound selfish, but both my parents are getting older and both have high 5/10 Cardiac/Stroke risk scores. That's not too say what could happen with cancer etc and I feel like these stories help me prepare. Nobody tells you what you're going to go through when your loved ones die, and I think these will help me.

Thank you

[habernac]

JonDuke, your wife is a keeper. Incredibly sad story, glad you got to spend some time with him.

[Locke]

Sorry to hear that Jon.

My condolences.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by SeeGeeWhy

Hey people, Robb wolf sent this email today about a 9 part documentary on the science of cancer, it debuts tonight:

https://go.thetruthaboutcancer.com/

"Hey folks,
Just a quick note to let you know that the documentary series The Truth About Cancer, premieres tonight. It’s free to watch and as I mentioned in my earlier email, there’s some great information on alternative cancer treatments — the ketogenic diet and hyperbaric oxygen chamber are two that I’m particularly interested in.


The docu-series is broken up into 9 parts. If you or someone you know is affected by cancer, please take the time to watch.

Robb"

....This ... looks entirely scammy. I just took a couple minutes too watch the video, and it seams like the same sort of false hope garbage. Feel free to do more research.

Over the past couple of months, we’ve been seeing some FB adverts for cancertruth.net, a crank-magnet hub of cancer misinformation run by fanatic Christian Ty Bollinger, an all-round quack who makes public examples of sceptics who question his claims and motives by calling them “lowly Pharma trolls” from the “medical Mafia”.

http://hatepseudoscience.com/2014/03...canceruntruth/

As someone who has been through far to much of this, careful what you share around. This kind of material is not at all helpful to people struggling to find real answers.

[bigtmac19]

My condolences Jon, you did everything right, spending time with your Dad, that will always give you comfort.

[bubbsy]

Very sorry to hear Jon Dukes. Condolences, thoughts & prayers to you and yours.

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by Street Pharmacist

This may sound selfish, but both my parents are getting older and both have high 5/10 Cardiac/Stroke risk scores. That's not too say what could happen with cancer etc and I feel like these stories help me prepare. Nobody tells you what you're going to go through when your loved ones die, and I think these will help me.

Thank you

My sentiment exactly. Everyone has parents/grandparents or other family or friends that will pass at some point or another. Ironically, death is almost the most natural thing about life - but it makes it no less difficult to bear.

Jon was very brave sharing his experiences as they happened and I'm sure it will serve others when they go down that road. CP is such a great community on so many levels.

I want to thank Jon again for sharing his story and struggle.