Destination Weddings - Page 2 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

FFR · 09-20-2015, 08:15 AM

I think people have covered both sides pretty well. Some people love them, some hate them. I think you just have to decide how important it is for people to be there. If there are really important people you want there - consider if they can afford it, and depending on your relationship with them, consider asking them first.

The biggest positive, IMO, is the lack of planning. You don't have to do almost anything.

Shameless plug - I am a travel agent. If you have any question, feel free to PM me. Or ask here. I can also put together some quotes for you if/when you decide what you are doing and don't have someone to work with already. /end shameless plug

When I got married we considered a destination wedding - but we talked to our family and a few close friends who said they wouldn't be able to come because of the cost. So we decided their presence was worth more than the location of our wedding and didn't go. However, always remember it's your wedding - not your friend's - so do what you want. Good friends shouldn't get upset if you have a destination wedding and they can't come. The day is about you, not them. But equally, don't expect a lot of people to come if you do have one. A lot of my clients have their destination wedding somewhere and then throw a big party when they get back for those who could not make it.

red sky · 09-20-2015, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Q_

If you don't mind me asking. How much was the wedding in Mexico and for how many people?

Well most weddings are complimentary at all inclusives however it would be very basic. With upgrades and such I think was $4000. This includes a photographer, flowers, food, booze, everything. We had about 30 people in total. Our guests paid $1500 per person for the week. However we subsidized that a bit to bring it down.

WilsonFourTwo · 09-20-2015, 08:46 AM

My (significantly) better half and I are in the middle of this right now; Her best friend is getting married in Jamaica. It's going to cost us ~$4000 to attend , and we're essentially blowing our (once every two years....) vacation fund on a place neither one of us really wants to go.

Frankly, I'd rather the have a local wedding and then send the happy couple on a trip afterwards. We could still participate in the wedding, gift them $1000, and be surrounded by all the friends and family. The strong turnout that the bride and groom want, a great time for everyone, and it doesn't cost a fortune for a trip most people don't want.

To be clear - I'm all for doing what you want (it's YOUR wedding), but to answer the original question, I don't like destination weddings at all. I think they're a terrible idea.

Winsor_Pilates · 09-20-2015, 08:59 AM

I just had a local wedding end of July but would have loved to do a designation instead.
It's your wedding, do it how you want it.

Wasn't an option for us, as we had a massive Indian wedding with 500 guests, but if I could do a smaller wedding I would go destination for sure.

I don't understand the angle of the people complaining about the cost. Most people will go on 1-2 holiday vacations a year anyway so why not just make the wedding of someone you care about one of them instead of looking at it as a $2000 expense?

You get a great vacation and have lots of good friends/family there with you to make it an amazing trip.
If you can't go, then don't; not a big deal.

TSXCman · 09-20-2015, 09:38 AM

Coincidentally, I am at a destination wedding as we speak. Here for my brother's wedding and a lot of family and friends came.

It has been a kick ass time.

Fuzz · 09-20-2015, 10:28 AM

Ya, the nice thing about it is if lots of family go, it's like a week long family reunion, which was good for us as we don't get together very often anymore.

J pold · 09-20-2015, 10:41 AM

I've been to two in my life and personally I don't like them. It's a big ask to have someone spend a couple thousand dollars and take a large chuck of their vacation time for your special day. I'm not an expert but isn't a destination wedding basically a tool to pass along the expense of the wedding along to guests?

If you don't like planning why not just elope? That's what I plan on doing when/if I end up getting married. If you want to celebrate with everyone throw a big party for your first anniversary. No wedding BS, just show up and have a good time.

Winsor_Pilates · 09-20-2015, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J pold

I've been to two in my life and personally I don't like them. It's a big ask to have someone spend a couple thousand dollars and take a large chuck of their vacation time for your special day. I'm not an expert but isn't a destination wedding basically a tool to pass along the expense of the wedding along to guests?

Curious how close you were with the 2 couples who's wedding you went to?

I just can't understand feeling like this if they were people close to you and you got an amazing vacation with dozens of people you love.
Sounds like you were there with a lot of people who weren't worth your money to you; in which case why go at all?

millhouse11 · 09-20-2015, 11:31 AM

We got married in Maui. My inlaws were already going to be there, and we had already booked the trip. We were trying to decide on what to do here. My family can be difficult, and it was proving stressful, so we decided, we're getting married in Maui. My wifes parents will be there, and that's all we need. Word got out, and we just told people, no worries, it's pricey, you don't have to come, we know people can't afford to go, this is what works best for us. It ended up that a bunch of friends asked if they could come, and we ended up having an awesome time.

I think if you do it, you have to understand that people can't be there, and respect that.

CorsiHockeyLeague · 09-20-2015, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J pold

I've been to two in my life and personally I don't like them. It's a big ask to have someone spend a couple thousand dollars and take a large chuck of their vacation time for your special day. I'm not an expert but isn't a destination wedding basically a tool to pass along the expense of the wedding along to guests?

My understanding is it's a way to ensure that you don't have a bunch of people at your wedding you aren't that close to, but still inviting them, and instead putting the onus on them to (inevitably) decline.

J pold · 09-20-2015, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

Curious how close you were with the 2 couples who's wedding you went to?

I just can't understand feeling like this if they were people close to you and you got an amazing vacation with dozens of people you love.
Sounds like you were there with a lot of people who weren't worth your money to you; in which case why go at all?

Both good friends from high school. I was very close with a number of people there and very much enjoyed the company of having everyone there, but I would hardly call it an amazing vacation. It probably doesn't help that I really dislike all-inclusive resorts so the setting wasn't great. I was at a wedding this summer at a resort in Golden BC where everyone stayed over the weekend in cabins and went on a hikes and enjoyed the mountains. Dollar for dollar I would way rather do that than go to an all-inclusive IMO.

KTrain · 09-20-2015, 12:24 PM

The worst are "Almost Destination Weddings". Getting married in Canmore or Banff. Expecting people to spend a $100+ on a hotel or not have any fun at the wedding so you can drive back to Calgary afterwards.

Destination weddings are fine but have the damn ceremony the first or second day. Don't wait until the end of the trip. Get it over with and let everyone enjoy the rest of the trip. I've heard of bridezillas getting pissed because their bridesmaid's/groomsmen are in the sun too much or get tan lines for photos.

Canehdianman · 09-20-2015, 02:34 PM

We got married in PV. Had 110 people attend, was totally awesome. We were about 1/3rd the total resort so we basically owned the place.

A few friends/family couldn't attend, which was fine. We had a party when we got home too.

Everyone said it was awesome and wanted to make it an annual trip back.

EverfresH15 · 09-20-2015, 02:48 PM

I have been to one and declined on two others. I think they are wicked as long as its priced reasonably. The first one I missed was my cousins and I had just bought a house so that made it difficult to go to. We had the money but decided to buy things for our house instead. Second one is a good buddy and its just too expensive to go to. We arent spending between 5-6k to go. Both of the ones I missed were in Jamaica. The one we went to was in Mexico and cost 1500 each and we had an amazing time.

If you go to one its not like you have to hang out with everybody at all times. You can fack off and do what ever adventures you want to do.

Johnny199r · 09-20-2015, 03:21 PM

I went to my sisters 5 years ago in Mexico and declined a friend's wedding in DR 3 years ago. I felt forced to go to my sisters wedding, I didn't have an interest in going to another one.

YYC in LAX · 09-20-2015, 03:21 PM

I'm against destination weddings. I wouldn't feel comfortable saving on wedding expenses at the expense of others.

I went to a destination wedding and it was great, but when you go to multiple destination weddings, it gets very expensive.

bluejays · 09-20-2015, 03:33 PM

Question - have a family members destination wedding in November in Mexico. Normally for weddings I give about $150. Now, given that this is a fairly expensive trip (~$1600 all inclusive), and being part of the wedding party he's asked us to pick up a particular pair of linen pants for $100 (not worth it for the quality), what would you give as the present? I'm a little miffed that it's at a more expensive resort (despite knowing some family can't afford it), and that they've asked us to foot the bill on some rubbish dress pants (as described above). Then they're having a stag and doe next month. For the wedding gift I have to give money, but I'm wondering what's appropriate here?

indes · 09-20-2015, 03:46 PM

We got married in Vegas, wanted to do a resort but it would've been to expensive for a lot of our family. Did the wedding the first day then had 3 days of partying! Way cheaper than getting married at home or a resort.

Johnny199r · 09-20-2015, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fleury

Question - have a family members destination wedding in November in Mexico. Normally for weddings I give about $150. Now, given that this is a fairly expensive trip (~$1600 all inclusive), and being part of the wedding party he's asked us to pick up a particular pair of linen pants for $100 (not worth it for the quality), what would you give as the present? I'm a little miffed that it's at a more expensive resort (despite knowing some family can't afford it), and that they've asked us to foot the bill on some rubbish dress pants (as described above). Then they're having a stag and doe next month. For the wedding gift I have to give money, but I'm wondering what's appropriate here?

After all of those expenses? Not a ####ing cent. But that's just me.

CMPunk · 09-20-2015, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fleury

Question - have a family members destination wedding in November in Mexico. Normally for weddings I give about $150. Now, given that this is a fairly expensive trip (~$1600 all inclusive), and being part of the wedding party he's asked us to pick up a particular pair of linen pants for $100 (not worth it for the quality), what would you give as the present? I'm a little miffed that it's at a more expensive resort (despite knowing some family can't afford it), and that they've asked us to foot the bill on some rubbish dress pants (as described above). Then they're having a stag and doe next month. For the wedding gift I have to give money, but I'm wondering what's appropriate here?

I wouldn't give them anything. For the amount you're spending, thats present enough.