Ashley Madison (cheating / affair website) hacked

[Dion]

Originally Posted by rubecube

This might get me piled on a bit, but also having known people who've cheated and been cheated on, cheating generally doesn't happen in a vacuum. That doesn't make it right, but most of the people who do it aren't monsters.

They're cowards because they chose not to have the balls to talk to their partner about what troubles them. If you're not happy and want out of the relationship, be honest and tell them why. See if you can find a way to work things out and if not, leave on amicable terms.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Dion

They're cowards because they chose not to have the balls to talk to their partner about what troubles them. If you're not happy and want out of the relationship, be honest and tell them why. See if you can find a way to work things out and if not, leave on amicable terms.

Or they talked to their partner and couldn't resolve the issues. If you're in a perfectly good marriage, with two kids and a mortgage, but one partner suddenly loses all interest in sex, what is the other partner supposed to do? In your solution the couples both lose their financial security and the kids end up with a broken home.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Dion

They're cowards because they chose not to have the balls to talk to their partner about what troubles them. If you're not happy and want out of the relationship, be honest and tell them why. See if you can find a way to work things out and if not, leave on amicable terms.

True, but being a coward isnt a crime.

Not to mention the fact that just labeling people as cowards is really convenient as its broad and vague.

The Devil is always in the details.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Or they talked to their partner and couldn't resolve the issues. If you're in a perfectly good marriage, with two kids and a mortgage, but one partner suddenly loses all interest in sex, what is the other partner supposed to do? In your solution the couples both lose their financial security and the kids end up with a broken home.

Keep it in their pants until the kids are on their own and you can end the relationship?

Yet your solution seems to be go out and have an affair. That only increases the tension in an already tough situation. Just imagine if the kids find out about the cheating and how it will affect them long term.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Dion

Keep it in their pants until the kids are on their own and you can end the relationship?

Hold on, your solution is for one partner to stay abstinent for 10-20 years?

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Locke

True, but being a coward isnt a crime.

Not to mention the fact that just labeling people as cowards is really convenient as its broad and vague.

The Devil is always in the details.

How did we go from bad people to crime? You lost me.

[DownhillGoat]

Originally Posted by Dion

Keep it in their pants until the kids are on their own and you can end the relationship?

So the solution is to be miserable for years for the kid's sake. How is that better?

We've gotten into this a bit before here. Yes I'm sure your sister's situation is horrible, and her ex is the scum of the earth, but I don't think relationships are that black and white.

And that's coming from someone who's marriage ended because his ex was cheating on him.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Dion

How did we go from bad people to crime? You lost me.

Because the poll you posted was asking whether the criminals should be allowed to go free because the crime they committed was against 'bad people' so it shouldnt count.

Calling someone a 'Bad Person' is a pretty egregious accusation. It basically means they have no redeeming qualities or they're Edmontonian.

You called them cowards. Not everyone who is a coward is a bad person.

There are so many things that could influence someone to cheat, thousands of minor and major details and circumstances, they cant all be painted with the same brush and swept under the rug as just so much human waste.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Hold on, your solution is for one partner to stay abstinent for 10-20 years?

It was a suggestion. My solution would be get out of the marriage if sex is that important. There are no good excuses for having an affair.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Dion

It was a suggestion. My solution would be get out of the marriage if sex is that important. There are no good excuses for having an affair.

It's a pretty terrible suggestion. Both of your suggestions end up with the family in worse condition than if the one partner had a discreet affair. There might not be any good excuses for having an affair, but there are certainly understandable circumstances.

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

But if we accept that there are circumstances where it's understandable, how can Dion reassure himself that he's morally superior to thousands of people?

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Locke

Because the poll you posted was asking whether the criminals should be allowed to go free because the crime they committed was against 'bad people' so it shouldnt count.

The poll was posted for information purposes.

Calling someone a 'Bad Person' is a pretty egregious accusation. It basically means they have no redeeming qualities or they're Edmontonian.

You called them cowards. Not everyone who is a coward is a bad person.

That's my opinion of people who cheat and have affairs. You disagree, no problem.

There are so many things that could influence someone to cheat, thousands of minor and major details and circumstances, they cant all be painted with the same brush and swept under the rug as just so much human waste.

Yes there are lots of influences but there are also people who are smart enough to know what the consequences of their actions could be. They recognise something is wrong and they have an open and honest discussion with their partner before it reaches a stage where act on their influences.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Dion

The poll was posted for information purposes.

That's my opinion of people who cheat and have affairs. You disagree, no problem.

Fair enough. I do disagree with you and I'm not trying berate you or anything, I just think you're taking a very black-and-white stance on something that exists in a vast field of grey.

Originally Posted by Dion

Yes there are lots of influences but there are also people who are smart enough to know what the consequences of their actions could be. They recognise something is wrong and they have an open and honest discussion with their partner before it reaches a stage where act on their influences.

This is primarily the part I disagree with because theres a lot of grey area. Yes they should, in a perfect world. But just because they didnt or couldnt for whatever reason doesnt mean they're evil and must be destroyed.

They're going to get punished I imagine. In some way.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by CorsiHockeyLeague

But if we accept that there are circumstances where it's understandable, how can Dion reassure himself that he's morally superior to thousands of people?

Go ahead and have affairs if you think it's acceptable under certain circumstances. It also doesn't make me moraly superior if I think it's not okay. I just have a different take than you and some others.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Locke

Fair enough. I do disagree with you and I'm not trying berate you or anything, I just think you're taking a very black-and-white stance on something that exists in a vast field of grey.

I will admit that the things that have happened to my sister and some friends of mine have made me black in white on this issue. Maybe in time my view will soften.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Hold on, your solution is for one partner to stay abstinent for 10-20 years?

To be fair, you do repeat oaths, and broken marriages always have two sides. Cheating is never a valid response.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by rubecube

It's a pretty terrible suggestion. Both of your suggestions end up with the family in worse condition than if the one partner had a discreet affair. There might not be any good excuses for having an affair, but there are certainly understandable circumstances.

I disagree. Affairs can have a lasting and negitive effect on children. Resentment, anger, not wanting to spent time with the parent who cheated etc.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Dion

I disagree. Affairs can have a lasting and negitive effect on children. Resentment, anger, not wanting to spent time with the parent who cheated etc.

Hence why I stipulated discretion.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Hence why I stipulated discretion.

In rube's world, self-control, and communication is clearly out of the question. No, people must expose their partner to disease, pain, and loneliness because they must remain abstinent for an undisclosed period of time rather than work out problems like responsible adults.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by peter12

To be fair, you do repeat oaths, and broken marriages always have two sides. Cheating is never a valid response.

I'm not arguing it from a moral point of view as much as I am a pragmatic one, which I suppose is a type of morality in and of itself but you get what I'm saying.