Hilarious interview stories

[Tron_fdc]

I know there's quite a few of you on here that are either upper management or work in the staffing industries and continually deal with prospective employee interviewing, and I'm wondering what kind of ridiculous stories everyone has. The labour pool is pretty thin in Alberta right now, so there's got to be a whack of absolutely absurd interview stories to share. Here's mine (from yesterday):

One of our guys meets a (supposed) millwright at a function last weekend who just moved here from South America, and he's looking for a job. All our guys know how hard millwrights are to find, so we bring him in for an interview. The guy rolls up (after what seems like hitchhiking to get to us), with a slicked back pony tail, shaved head on the sides, and a black eye. Sweet.

Q&A's are as follows:
Where did you go to school? Welder and machinist in Argentina, Ontario for Millwright

What papers do you have? Welder, Millwright, apprentice machininst

Can I see them? No, the school won't give them to me.

Why not? Because they're not recognized in British Columbia
(hey, we're in ALBERTA buddy....but don't let that get into the way)

Do you have any tools? No

How long have you been a millwright? 10 years

And you have no tools? No.

Why not? Because I was living in New York, and I was deported when my visa ran out. They kept my tools.

So what are you going to do? Borrow them, I guess.

From who? The guys I work with

Good luck with that.

Where do you live now? Calgary

Are you a resident? Just married

Can you send us residency docs? No problem, my wife will fax them to you

How did you hear we were hiring? A good friend of mine that I grew up with let me know (his "good friend" is our foremans brother, who met this clown at a restaurant)

Okay, thanks. We'll let you know.

(him)Can I have a ride home? No.
Can I borrow $10 for smokes? No.
Can I borrow the phone? Absolutely.

The guy makes a call, and arranges a ride home. Today, his "papers" get faxed in (which are COMPLETELY illegible), along with a marraige certificate, and a cover letter that has scrawled across it:

"SYLVIO YOU LIED AGAIN. CALL YOUR WIFE"



The office is still laughing at this one.......

[Deelow]

So I don't have the job?

[Frank the Tank]

Hahahaaaaaa! Awesome Tron.

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Hey,
while you're hiring, I'm a millwright too.

But don't ask anyone, becasue I went to a super secret school where all the really good millwrights go. You probalby haven't heard of it, because you probably only employ average millwrights.

Also, I don't need tools, I can do it all with my mind (that's what they teach you at that super secret school).

When do I start?

[Frank the Tank]

I interviewed a guy about a year ago who didn't have a portfolio. For a job as a designer. No portfolio. Wow.

[Tron_fdc]

I was kinda hoping he was going to start a hip hop/Rico Suaaaaaaave dance off, but alas...no luck.

[Flashpoint]

I asked an interviewee "if your last boss could change one thing about you, what would it be?"

She answered: "He would probably want me not to fall asleep so much at work".

I didn't hire her.

[Ghost in the attic]

I went to an interview about an O&G job (on internship from school), and was talking about past experience with operating in camps.

Interviewer: "Was it a pretty dry camp?"
Me: "It was supposed to be, but our boss always brought in the odd case"
Interviewer: "I was talking about precipitation"
Me: *laughter*..."oops"
Interview: *silence*
Me: *silence*


I didnt get it.

[JiriHrdina]

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

I interviewed a guy about a year ago who didn't have a portfolio. For a job as a designer. No portfolio. Wow.

Ah yes. Been there many times. I was pretty easy going interviewing people. If someone wanted 10 minutes of my time I'd give it to them. I had a guy drop in one day and say he was a designer and if I had a few minutes. Of course I noticed he wasn't carrying a portfolio which immediately was a red flag. Once in the board room I inquired about his experience to which he responded by saying he was a Florist, but felt that many of the skills learned in that trade translated to graphic design.

He seemed rather beffudled when I suggested we didn't have anything for him.

[Flashpoint]

Originally Posted by Ghost in the attic

I went to an interview about an O&G job (on internship from school), and was talking about past experience with operating in camps.

Interviewer: "Was it a pretty dry camp?"
Me: "It was supposed to be, but our boss always brought in the odd case"
Interviewer: "I was talking about precipitation"
Me: *laughter*..."oops"
Interview: *silence*
Me: *silence*


I didnt get it.

[Table 5]

I'm pretty sure I've got the skills to be a millright.
Now all i need to do is actually figure out what the hell a millright is.