Captain might go on a murder Spree

[CaptainCrunch]

http://io9.com/big-trouble-in-little...ema-1708431086

Ugh

One of my favorite movies from the 80's that was almost perfect in its execution. A spoof on the action films of the time, and a spoof on the old Chinese martial arts flicks.

And they're going to do a remake. Now I love The Rock, I think he's awesome, but this if people crap all over it is a career killer.

Rock can't play Jack Burton like Russell did, no one can.

Jack Burton: When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Jack Burton: Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine, because I can't concentrate when you do that.

[CaptainCrunch]

When they announce this remake you know what old Jack Burton would say?

[Coys1882]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

When they announce this remake you know what old Jack Burton would say?

It's all in the reflexes?

[CaptainCrunch]

Was hoping you would say

"Who?"

So I could put this up

[CaptainCrunch]

[Blaster86]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

When they announce this remake you know what old Jack Burton would say?

[Galakanokis]

Maybe, if they did the original western script I might get on board but man? Such a perfect movie. I'm still waiting for my little man to get a little older so we can watch this gem together. Hopefully he is not tainted by the Rock.

[CaptainCrunch]

The problem for me, is that Jack Burton isn't the hero in this movie, Wang is. Jack Burton is the blustery idiotic side kick, which is what made Russell's performance so brilliant.

If suddenly you make Burton the uber hero which is what I expect the Rock will do, then it becomes a run of the mill action movie and it doesn't work.

Up until he throws the knife that kills the Villain Burton does a lot of running and screaming and knocking himself now while seeing everything with an awesome sense of disbelief.

[habernac]

John Carpenter's finest maybe. No remake required.

[Hemi-Cuda]

This thread is convincing me to watch the original now since I never have before

[PsYcNeT]

Originally Posted by habernac

John Carpenter's finest maybe. No remake required.

Close, but The Thing is a nearly flawless movie.

The lack of practical effects in a new Big Trouble will kill it.

[ResAlien]

Originally Posted by PsYcNeT

Close, but The Thing is a nearly flawless movie.

The lack of practical effects in a new Big Trouble will kill it.

Close, but James Carpenter's Vampires is a near flawless movie.

The Rock seems like an odd choice if the tone of the original is to be maintained.

[rubecube]

I really don't understand why people get upset about remakes. Pretty simple solution: don't watch it. The movie being made doesn't tangibly affect your life in any way, shape, or form.

[Northendzone]

one day the Rock is going to win an Academy Award, and when he does, he will go up on stage and have a nice speech and give thanks to all of the people that helped him and he take that Academy Award and he will look at it , give it a little shine and then he will take it, turn it sideways and stick right up your candy @$$

[Blaster86]

Originally Posted by Northendzone

one day the Rock is going to win an Academy Award, and when he does, he will go up on stage and have a nice speech and give thanks to all of the people that helped him and he take that Academy Award and he will look at it , give it a little shine and then he will take it, turn it sideways and stick right up your candy @$$

A heel turn at the oscars. Bold

[corporatejay]

Originally Posted by PsYcNeT

Close, but The Thing is a nearly flawless movie.

The lack of practical effects in a new Big Trouble will kill it.

False. Escape from New York.

[Hack&Lube]

Remaking it isn't so bad. The problem is that Burton is actually not the hero of the movie. He's actually a hapless sidekick who keeps getting in over his head and even knocks himself out in the big fight sequence. The movie is reversal of the normal hollywood format.

I know Dwayne played a goofball in pain & gain but he still need to do a lot of work to play against type to this this (uneccessary) movie properly.

[Harju]

"Everybody relax, I'm here"

imdb has a bunch of quotes for Jack

[dammage79]

I love Big Trouble in Little China. You know you're out of ideas as movie makers when you start messing with cults classics like Point Break and BTiLC.

Both are going to blow. I'm already convinced I will not see point break. They completely missed the mark with the remake. And now this? Man, what a drab day as a movie lover.

Even the Evil Dead remake had me upset, yes, it was okay, but it wasn't the original. If they touch AoD I'll flip my lid.

[Barnes]

Originally Posted by rubecube

I really don't understand why people get upset about remakes. Pretty simple solution: don't watch it. The movie being made doesn't tangibly affect your life in any way, shape, or form.

Didn't you know when they remake a movie they destroy every copy and shred of evidence that the original ever existed and it can never be enjoyed ever again.

The real movie mystery though is what happened to Leonard Parts 1 through 5 and Oceans 1 through 10?