Inheritance entitlement problems

[PsYcNeT]

Originally Posted by troutman

You won't be on the hook for your parents' debts.

Good to know!

[Locke]

Originally Posted by bubbsy

hmmm... haven't really thought about this.

I would assume that for most families, any assets that are left to children would be split evenly.

an uneven split would be brutal, and inevitable to create a lot of friction among siblings.

Its not that simple, not even remotely. Theres all kinds of things that can change that equation. Perceived need and inequity of success chief amongst them.

I was dealing with one situation where one sibling never needed any help and was doing fine whereas the other sibling was a train-wreck so the parents left more for one than the other.

It happens.

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Yes, and no doubt caused friction as the one who had it together felt like they were being punished for it while their sibling was rewarded for not working hard / figuring their life out?

[skudr248]

I hope I don't get anything back, they paid for everything for my sister and I. My sister a different story, she's greedy as hell. I hope my parents spend all their money on their retirement, and enjoy the time, and things they never got to do raising a young family in a new country at the time and "working for their kids."

[bizaro86]

Originally Posted by Locke

Its not that simple, not even remotely. Theres all kinds of things that can change that equation. Perceived need and inequity of success chief amongst them.

I was dealing with one situation where one sibling never needed any help and was doing fine whereas the other sibling was a train-wreck so the parents left more for one than the other.

It happens.

So does the parent leave more to the one who's proved they can deal well with money, or more to the train-wreck who needs it more?

Equality is the way to go, imo. If someone truly needs your help, they probably needed it while you were alive as well...

Edited to add: I also don't agree with large inheritances generally. I've recommended that my parents leave their money to charity, but they've said we'll each get an equal share and I can donate my part to charity if I want, which is reasonable.

[troutman]

There are many reasons why parents might treat children differently - estrangement, need, substance abuse, bad with money, mistrust of the in-law, loans made to children, one child helped the parent the most, etc.

I have to be very careful in cases like this, and keep detailed notes. I have to make sure the parents are not being influenced. I ask them to write a letter in their own words (to be stored with the will) explaining why they are treating the children differently.

[Forbsey-123]

Inheritance tore apart my wifes family....constant fighting and long-standing grudges and they used to be so close. I told my parents to spend all their money on a cabin or something so we can all enjoy it together for as long as possible then leave my sis and I the cabin equally....no money....I don't want to think about profitting off my parents death

[troutman]

I did read the article in the OP a few days ago. This could start a good debate:

Perhaps the most sobering figure produced by Environics Analytics is a breakdown of total liquid assets according to economic class, showing that the most affluent 17 per cent of seniors in the country—people whose liquid savings average nearly $2 million per household—are sitting on an astounding third of the nation’s wealth. That’s more than three times the amount held by the remaining 83 per cent of seniors combined .

In short, rich Boomers are about to get richer, thanks to bequests from their affluent parents. Those retiring in dire financial straits, meanwhile, will remain on the ropes, forced to live off private and public pensions.

The scale of concentration is great enough that there have been rumblings in favour of a wealth tax in Canada, inspired in part by French economist Thomas Piketty’s landmark research showing the inexorable rise in wealth inequality in market economies. Left-wing think tanks like the Broadbent Institute have called for an examination of the matter, while Boadway, the Queen’s economist, favours an inheritance tax imposed on those receiving the most money. “It would be based on the idea that high inequality of wealth is largely a result of luck,” he says. “There’s definitely an argument to be made for it.”


Should we have a wealth tax?

[troutman]

The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southhampton
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/90/90lclapping.phtml

Jeffrey: Now that we're all here, I'd just like to say one thing: I know that some of you would like to challenge Father's will! After all, Meg and I did to rather well.. and maybe Blake and Cosima think that's unfair! Of course, I certainly respect your right to do whatever you feel you have to do -but! For God's sakes.. before we start getting lawyers in here, and fighting each other like greedy rats! Let's remember one thing: we're a family, dammit! A family!! Because there's a lot more at stake here than mere dollars and cents! There's the memory of a man we all loved. The man we called.. "Father".

[ Cosima claps sarcastically ]

Cosima: Quite a performance, Jeffrey. Oh.. quite a performance, indeed. Considering the fact that you.. hated Father! No, no, no - don't act so shocked, Jeffrey. We all know that you were just waiting for Father to die, so you could get oyur filthy hands on all his money..!! [ sobs ]

[ Colin claps sarcastically ]

Colin: Nice speech, Cosima. Very nice. Considering you hadn't seen Father in almost two years!

[ Blake claps sarcastically ]

Blake: Nice cutting observation, Colin.

[ Meg claps sarcastically ]

Meg: Nice sentence, Blake.

[ Chris claps sarcastically ]

Chris: Nice clapping, Meg!

[jeep991]

My wife's sister has been harassing their mother for ages to give the inheritance out now (while the mother is still around) because her and her family are having some financial problems. Even worse, she keeps saying that she deserves more than her siblings because she has 3 kids and her 3 brothers have no children and we only have 2 kids. I don't care if we get any money as we get by fine but I just can't understand the thought process of someone who thinks like that.
First, your mom is still alive. She's retired and needs money to live.
Second, she treats her mom like garbage over perceived past transgressions.
It just blows my mind.

[blueski]

Most kids I know that stand to inherit a lot have already benefited from their parents. Car when they are 16, university paid for, big wedding(s), nice downpayment for their house or fully paid, vacations out the wazoo, help getting hired in their chosen career or starting their own business/company.

So whatever, let them inherit the rest when their parents die, won't make a difference in their lives, they already have made it.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by jeep991

My wife's sister has been harassing their mother for ages to give the inheritance out now (while the mother is still around) because her and her family are having some financial problems. Even worse, she keeps saying that she deserves more than her siblings because she has 3 kids and her 3 brothers have no children and we only have 2 kids. I don't care if we get any money as we get by fine but I just can't understand the thought process of someone who thinks like that.
First, your mom is still alive. She's retired and needs money to live.
Second, she treats her mom like garbage over perceived past transgressions.
It just blows my mind.

After this year I'd like to think that nothing surprises me anymore, but I'm sure as time and my profession go on there'll be some more doozies.

[shermanator]

Half of homeowners in their 50s still have mortgage debt. One in two Canadians say they expect to retire before they’ve paid off their homes.

This part of the article just blows my mind. You are going to retire when your house isn't paid off? I just cannot comprehend this.

[PsYcNeT]

Originally Posted by shermanator

This part of the article just blows my mind. You are going to retire when your house isn't paid off? I just cannot comprehend this.

To be fair, a lot of people sell and buy a smaller home or apartment before retirement, since they typically need less space with no kids in the house.

[GP_Matt]

Originally Posted by troutman

Should we have a wealth tax?

I think we should. Certainly an inheritance tax but I think a wealth tax is a good idea as well. Perhaps linked to the income tax so you pay the greater of a wealth tax or income tax.

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by Johnny199r

Some people are just fixated on the belief they "deserve" money as a sign of love and nothing less will suffice. Did she have her own career making her own money? Greed is a powerful thing.

She has her own career, is married and her husband's father is also very wealthy so I really don't understand the worry but they are both very money conscious and I sense this type of trait comes from the type of people that overly fixate on money. There's also some resentment because I'm the only child with children and anyone with kids would know how much grandparents adore grand children so I have been seeing my parents much more than my siblings. I believe she actually believes my kids also give me some angle on inheritance that she doesn't have. Whole thing is kind of sad really.

Originally Posted by troutman

Shame on your sister Erick.

Also, executors don't get to decide who gets what.

Yeah I was more blind sided than anything. Funny thing is she would probably be a better executive than me because she works in the legal field. It's just disappointing to see something happen like this and I have fears of what may happen if/when my father does pass.

[troutman]

Some seniors who are asset rich but income poor, take out a reverse mortgage. They use the equity in the house, and don't have to pay it back until they are both gone or sell.

[Teh_Bandwagoner]

People can be such dicks when it comes to inheritance. My girlfriend's mom used to be a caretaker for an elderly woman in her 80s. She had no husband or children. Basically the only one in her family was a niece. Her family was basically us, because we would regularly visit her a few times a month. She took amazingly good care of her.

Really cool lady. Born and raised in Calgary. Lived in the home her father built in 1921 until she died. They emmigrated from Britain after WWI. I think they took a boat to Nova Scotia, and took a train to Drumheller. Travelled the rest of the way by covered wagon.

She ended up adding my girlfriend's mom to the will, and near the end of her life, upped the amount by a decent amount. The niece was still going to get the rest of her money, as well as a house in Crescent Heights, which is most certainly worth a pretty penny.

So what happens? Is she happy about getting a sum of cash and a house in Crescent? Nope. Instead, she does everything in her power to try to keep my girlfriend's mom from getting any money. All because we weren't family. For the record, she maybe gave the lady a call once a year on her birthday. Luckily she couldn't stop the will. Seriously, such ridiculous greed.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by GP_Matt

I think we should. Certainly an inheritance tax but I think a wealth tax is a good idea as well. Perhaps linked to the income tax so you pay the greater of a wealth tax or income tax.

Why not just raise taxes all around if you are going to tax someone twice on their money?

[1stLand]

I hope my parents spend it on themselves. They worked hard.

If I have kids, I am leaving them nothing if they turn out bad.
If they turn out good, I might scale back the partying in vegas with hookers and blow and opt for a cheaper alternative of partying with cocktail waitresses at the Grey Eagle Casino using copious amounts of rum and coke.