Tipping at Funeral Homes?

[doctajones428]

I refuse to have a proper funeral. Cremate me, have a service in some field and then go get hammered in my honor.

[getbak]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Yeesh. According to this, you tip everyone but the funeral director (the limo driver isn't mentioned).

http://people.opposingviews.com/fune...paid-1428.html

It seems very "gangster" and maybe even "sleazy". I could see Tony Soprano tipping someone at a funeral. I don't remember anyone tipping on Six Feet Under.

Actually, looking at that list, I wouldn't consider most of those suggestions out of line.

As others have said, it's customary to offer an honorarium to the minister and organist (if there is one). In that situation, it's not really a tip in the usual sense. You're paying for their time but doing it in such a way that it's considered a donation to the church (I'm sure there are tax benefits for doing it that way too).

For the other people, like limo drivers, flower delivery people, and caterers (if you go for something a little more elaborate than egg salad sandwiches in the church basement), I would treat tipping them the same as I would if I was hiring them for any other event, like a wedding or birthday party.

As it says in that link, though, the funeral director will often arrange for all of those things and take care of paying them while handing the family a single bill that covers everything. In that case, any tips, honorariums, and delivery charges would already be covered, so you don't have to worry about handing the minister an envelope of cash as you're walking out of the church.

When my parents passed away, that's exactly how it was done. The funeral director gave us an itemized accounting of what everything would cost, and at the end of the funeral, gave us a package with the guest book, thank you cards, leftover funeral cards and all of that stuff and the bill was included in the package. We made one payment to the funeral home and the director made sure everyone else was reimbursed for their services.

[JonDuke]

Originally Posted by Table 5

How much are typical funeral costs? I've never had to plan one myself, but is it true they can get up to 20k?

The one I just attended cost just over 10K, and was for a cremation/non burial.
I'm not even going to get into how atrocious some of these fees are.
Here's the receipt:

[metallicat]

Does it really cost thousands for an obituary in the paper?

[getbak]

Originally Posted by oilers_fan

Does it really cost thousands for an obituary in the paper?

It depends on which paper(s) you put it in, and how elaborate the obituary is. Like any newspaper ad (which is essentially what it is), you pay for the amount of space it takes up on the page. If you have a picture and a lot of text, it can get pretty pricey.

The Sun is cheaper than the Herald, and the small town papers are cheaper still.

[Barnet Flame]

Originally Posted by Locke

Wrap me up in a rug and toss me in the dumpster behind my favourite bar.

I often used to feel like that after watching the Flames.

[Bagor]

Dove vase - $495? I'm presuming that's a fancy word for urn?

Something smells rip off to me when a run to the dollar store would suffice. Would love to hear the sales pitch on that.

[calgarygeologist]

Originally Posted by Bagor

Dove vase - $495? I'm presuming that's a fancy word for urn?

Something smells rip off to me when a run to the dollar store would suffice. Would love to hear the sales pitch on that.

$495 is towards the cheap end of urns. They start around $300 and go well into the thousands. My dad's urn was around $700 and it was a really basic (really nice and simple design which I liked) pewter one. $300 basically gets you a cheap plastic tube.

[getbak]

Originally Posted by JonDuke

The one I just attended cost just over 10K, and was for a cremation/non burial.
I'm not even going to get into how atrocious some of these fees are.
Here's the receipt:

Yeah, looking at that, it appears that everyone who should have been compensated was fairly compensated. $295 per limo for what was likely less than a couple of hours of work for the driver should be more than enough (and the driver was likely a fulltime employee of the funeral home anyway). The Honorarium for the clergy is there, so that's taken care of.

For things like the flower delivery and the catering, it's likely that the funeral director recommended using specific companies and they would have a negotiated rate in place and pass on an all-in price to the family that would include any service fees.

I'm curious what you're getting for the $125 fraud protection services and why it costs $400 to put the obituary on their website.

[YYC in LAX]

Originally Posted by JonDuke

The one I just attended cost just over 10K, and was for a cremation/non burial.
I'm not even going to get into how atrocious some of these fees are.
Here's the receipt:

[pylon]

Originally Posted by calgarygeologist

$495 is towards the cheap end of urns. They start around $300 and go well into the thousands. My dad's urn was around $700 and it was a really basic (really nice and simple design which I liked) pewter one. $300 basically gets you a cheap plastic tube.

$5.99 at Ralphs', and I would encourage my will executor to find a coupon to reduce costs. All costs to be put on my credit card if possible (my PIN is in the will), and the credit card company ultimately stiffed.They got enough interest off me over the years.

I actually have it in my will for a Folgers can to be used, the most inexpensive ghetto service to be performed in a community hall or other inexpensive venue, Yakity Sax to be played to open the service, and Tijuana Taxi to be played to end it. Also ZERO religious content. God/Jesus/Heaven/Afterlife are all to be banned terms. And for a friend to conduct the service.

When I leave this earth, I want to leave as much as possible to my loved ones, not to some scummy funeral home that preys on weak people.

[keratosis]

Yup. I may just walk out of the house and be food for the bears and wolves when it's my time. Kinda like the Innuit did. And if I can't walk, I'll call a cab.

[Rerun]

Good enough for me...







Paws Pet Urn $86.66

Material: 100% Brass
Threaded, airtight, screw-on lid


http://www.costco.ca/Paws-Pet-Urn-.p...100022505.html

[bigtmac19]

My Mom told us she wanted to be cremated and there was to be no service at all. We respected her wishes did just that and it was still $3,500 or so. It felt very strange for us to have no service. One day she was here then she wasn't but there was no real acknowledgment of it. Services are for those left behind.

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by bigtmac19

My Mom told us she wanted to be cremated and there was to be no service at all. We respected her wishes did just that and it was still $3,500 or so. It felt very strange for us to have no service. One day she was here then she wasn't but there was no real acknowledgment of it. Services are for those left behind.

I don't want a service either, especially if I die young. I guess it is a little selfish when you think about it, as it's a time for others to remember you. I just never liked the idea of a bunch of people hanging around solemnly talking about struggles and what could have been and all that.

I really like the bar idea. Just have a bunch of people share some drinks and laugh about funny stories/events.

[Rerun]

Originally Posted by bigtmac19

My Mom told us she wanted to be cremated and there was to be no service at all. We respected her wishes did just that and it was still $3,500 or so. It felt very strange for us to have no service. One day she was here then she wasn't but there was no real acknowledgment of it. Services are for those left behind.

I kind of like the idea of having a wake, instead of a formal service, at a family member's home.

Get cremated, bring the ashes home in an urn, and then have the wake and party on in remembrance.

[DownhillGoat]

Originally Posted by flameswin

I really like the bar idea. Just have a bunch of people share some drinks and laugh about funny stories/events.

That's my theory. Especially if I die younger. Cremate me, bring the urn to my favourite ski bar, knock back a few beers, tell some stories, then throw the ashes off my favourite run.

However I won't know either way and funerals are for the living. Although I've mentioned it before that I never really understood the North American culture around mourning death.

My grandfather passed recently, and I felt more closure the evening after the funeral when a few family members went to the legion, held a toast to him, knocked back some beers and swapped stories.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by flameswin

I don't want a service either, especially if I die young. I guess it is a little selfish when you think about it, as it's a time for others to remember you. I just never liked the idea of a bunch of people hanging around solemnly talking about struggles and what could have been and all that.

I really like the bar idea. Just have a bunch of people share some drinks and laugh about funny stories/events.

One of my cousins requested that a few days before he passed on. The only mistake was having an open bar where far too many people got drunk on free booze.

[JonDuke]

Originally Posted by Bagor

Dove vase - $495? I'm presuming that's a fancy word for urn?

Something smells rip off to me when a run to the dollar store would suffice. Would love to hear the sales pitch on that.

Was indeed the urn, and it was on the lower end of the scale. I stepped into the sales office after the funeral and saw most were around $800- $1100. There were a couple over $1400.

[Bagor]

Originally Posted by JonDuke

Was indeed the urn, and it was on the lower end of the scale. I stepped into the sales office after the funeral and saw most were around $800- $1100. There were a couple over $1400.

Thanks, and I didn't/don't mean any disrespect. Genuinely curious and stunned by those prices.

Any idea how they justify the price and what does an extra $500 get you regarding urn quality? Do you have to buy one? Could you just decline and give them a coffee can?