Tipping at Funeral Homes?

[tvp2003]

Semi-offtopic -- Reminds me of the guy from Lethbridge that was caught scamming:

http://www.cbc.ca/m/news/canada/calg...raud-1.1249016

JonDuke -- my condolences for wife's loss.

[Jiggy_12]

Tipping at a funeral? That's absurd. Why in the world would that ever be expected, or given? That's just uncomfortable for all parties involved.

[Matata]

Originally Posted by cracher

I think they earn their money. This is especially true if you've seen what a body looks like after an autopsy... pathologists are not known to be good at sewing or clean-up. I would absolutely demand top dollar to be working with that day in and day out.

As long as you have the right temperament, you can get used to that sort of thing fairly quickly. My mom used to an ER nurse and laying hands on a mutilated dead body doesn't even phase her (as long as she's wearing gloves).

That said, I agree that the preparation of the body is a sacred duty and those practitioners should be well compensated. But that is only one step of the process, the funeral industry typically runs a very high profit margin, which is based entirely on taking advantage of people who are not a position to fight for a fair deal.

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by Matata

...When it comes time for me to write a will, I'm making a specific point to keep the involvement of the funeral industry to a bare minimum.

The time is now. Everyone should have a will.

[Sylvanfan]

I think the profit margins for funeral homes is high enough that you shouldn't have to tip. Admittedly the one for my Dad's funeral did give really good service, but let's face it funerals suck enough as is, bad service would be catastrophic.

In the small town where my grand parents lived, the funeral home was the biggest business in town pretty much.

[cracher]

Originally Posted by Matata

As long as you have the right temperament, you can get used to that sort of thing fairly quickly. My mom used to an ER nurse and laying hands on a mutilated dead body doesn't even phase her (as long as she's wearing gloves).

That said, I agree that the preparation of the body is a sacred duty and those practitioners should be well compensated. But that is only one step of the process, the funeral industry typically runs a very high profit margin, which is based entirely on taking advantage of people who are not a position to fight for a fair deal.

I would argue that this particular temperament is rare. I cut people open for a living and can promise you that my stomach will not handle this work. I wonder what the actual profit margin is in this industry. Overhead must be substantial. You need big floor space, specialty equipment, potentially skewed supply (how many people are willing to do this type of work) vs demand (baby boomer demographic bulge in full effect). Are numbers like 12-20k really that out of line? Market obviously can bear it so I don't know if I would call it "taking advantage".

[DownhillGoat]

Originally Posted by cracher

Market obviously can bear it

Or does the market bear it because there's literally no alternatives.

[Sr. Mints]

Originally Posted by Table 5

How much are typical funeral costs? I've never had to plan one myself, but is it true they can get up to 20k?

Easily. My dad's was about $20k in 2000.

Incidentally, I seem to remember having an obit posted in the Calgary Herald and Sun costing a few grand for a weekend.

[cracher]

Yeah, lost grandpa and a cousin within 3 weeks of each other last year. Around 18 each, not including the plot.

Edit: @kunk - no alternatives as in no competition in the funeral home market? or no alternative but to have a giant service with platters of quartered sandwhiches?

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by kunkstyle

Or does the market bear it because there's literally no alternatives.

No Alternative? Please...

[Titan]

Originally Posted by cracher

...I cut people open for a living and ...

and Dexter"s username is exposed...

[DownhillGoat]

Originally Posted by cracher

Edit: @kunk - no alternatives as in no competition in the funeral home market? or no alternative but to have a giant service with platters of quartered sandwhiches?

No alternative as in you can't nail together your own plywood box and bury relatives in the back yard. If you/the desceased/surviving family want the traditional funeral and burial, it's not like you can say "Oh, no that $20k is much too steep, I think we'll just go with the DIY option".

Yes, there's things that can be cut out (as you pointed out the egg salad sandwiches and large service), but even a small service with no frills has a large price tag, and I think that price tag is set with little influence from what the market will bear.

[BigBrodieFan]

My FIL was a General in the Marine Corps and some Marines came and gave him a 21 gun salute after presenting him with full military honours- and we tipped the boys who did that. They turned around and donated the money in the General's name to the American Heart Association.

[calgarygeologist]

Originally Posted by kunkstyle

No alternative as in you can't nail together your own plywood box and bury relatives in the back yard. If you/the desceased/surviving family want the traditional funeral and burial, it's not like you can say "Oh, no that $20k is much too steep, I think we'll just go with the DIY option".

Yes, there's things that can be cut out (as you pointed out the egg salad sandwiches and large service), but even a small service with no frills has a large price tag, and I think that price tag is set with little influence from what the market will bear.

Funerals are surprisingly expensive and the industry is really closed and without competition. I think CBC's Marketplace did an episode on the industry and it was quite interesting. In North America there are only two or three main companies that run the industry from the homes to the coffins and other products. The industry at one time was full of independents but most of those guys have been bought. Here in Calgary we are actually lucky to have fairly reasonable prices because McInnis & Holloway is a big player in the region and is an independent. They are keeping prices from rising too drastically.

My dad's funeral was actually relatively cheap because we didn't do a public viewing nor did we do a grave site thing. We just did a final viewing with family at the cremation. Urns also have considerably cheaper options than caskets. I was actually shocked when the director showed us the options for the cremation caskets. The cheapest was a few hundred dollars and was literally a plywood box. The upper end box was $3000 or $4000. I'm not sure why someone would literally burn that amount of money. We were also lucky that we could bury the urn with my dad's brother and it only cost a few hundred bucks in fees plus a few thousand for a new stone. Plots are brutally expensive.

[cracher]

Originally Posted by kunkstyle

No alternative as in you can't nail together your own plywood box and bury relatives in the back yard. If you/the desceased/surviving family want the traditional funeral and burial, it's not like you can say "Oh, no that $20k is much too steep, I think we'll just go with the DIY option".

Yes, there's things that can be cut out (as you pointed out the egg salad sandwiches and large service), but even a small service with no frills has a large price tag, and I think that price tag is set with little influence from what the market will bear.

I should specify that my sandwich comment wasn't intended to be as dickish as it came out. I recognize that when the 91 year old grandma wants the works for her husband of 67 years, there is really no alternative.

I agree in theory with the DIY option. However, in a society, you run into public health issues. Like every other specialty profession, you have to pay to play.

geologist - Why is the industry so closed? Significant barriers to entry (education, massive start-up capital) or political?

[Fire]

Never understood why people would spend a ton of money on a casket. I can guarantee the dead person doesn't care so you shouldn't either.

[calgarygeologist]

Originally Posted by cracher

geologist - Why is the industry so closed? Significant barriers to entry (education, massive start-up capital) or political?

It is a high profit industry and the big players can make more money by driving out the little guys. I don't believe there is much regulation in the industry either.

Here is a decent write up of the CBC Marketplace episode

http://www.canadianfunerals.com/consumer-info.html

[Dion]

We didn't tip at my dad's funeral and I have yet to hear of anyone doing it.

[terminator]

That's like tipping at a take out place

[keratosis]

Really?